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Empty-nest. How old will you be when you're empty-nested, how do you feel about it..


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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

1. At least 46.

 

2. I think about it pretty practically, because I'm watching my parents and my in-laws doing it right now... and I want to understand what works and what doesn't. It's important to me to do it right. I don't really have any emotions about it at this point.

 

3. Still trying to figure it out, but my goals are to keep a flexible schedule so I can visit my children lots, and to bring in income so my dh can reduce his work hours and/or take a lower-pressure job. Neither of us expects to retire while we are able-bodied. This might mean starting my own side business, or it might mean taking a job like teaching where I get summers off. I also want to leave more time for taking care of people... bringing people meals; attending funerals, weddings, showers; volunteering. After years of family focus I want to turn my focus outward more.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

I will be 45.

I choose not to think about it.

I have no idea. But, I have given myself permission to lay in bed, watch TV and mope for the first semester. Then, maybe I'll go back to school and get my CPA. You never know.

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1. In one sense, I'll never be an empty nester. Ds 12 will always be with us. However, for your purposes, I'll speak to my typical kids. If dd leaves at 18, I will be 42.

2. IDK. Ask me then!

3. Right now my (best laid) plan is to go back to school when my kids are in HS and get my RN. I hope I'll be in the clinicals phase by the time dd is off.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

Old. I'm only 32, and still having babies(6 kids, so far). I expect to keep having them. By the time my kids are gone, I will likely have lots of grandkids.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

I'll be 43 when my youngest turns 18. DH will be 48.

 

I look forward to the time when it's just DH and I again, though I love my kiddos too. It will just be a new dynamic.

 

I plan to pursue my BSN (currently and LPN) over the next 10 yrs and perhaps a Masters. I'd like to work in health admin, maybe. I plan to work full time. :auto:

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I will be 48. I am heading to orientation today for my daughter (child #2) attending a university 2 1/2 hours away. Good thing I am completely blown away by my job/home/life to get emotional because I'm sure it is going to kill me. My youngest is in 8th grade and I am 43. I am ready to be through with college tuition, not so ready to have a home with no children. I do have lots and lots of plans, though. :D Just yesterday I started 3 new businesses in my head! Now whether or not one makes it to an actual reality is a whole other story. I love my age right now, I'm sure I will love all of the rest of them, too. My oldest is planning to head to law school in a couple of years (after his undergrad) and my daughter is starting her sophomore year and planning on medical school after... I need to make a lot of money.

Edited by Mad Charity
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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

Empty nest from high school - 48. Empty nest from college - 52.

 

I feel fine. I'm raising adults to move out on their own, not live with me the rest of their lives. (Ask me again when the first and then the last ones move out.) I don't know what I'll do with my time.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

I'll be 50 when the youngest graduates from college. Assuming he'll be at home for a year or two after that, so he can save money during that first year or two and better establish himself, it'll probably be closer to 52 when the house is empty.

 

I'm not looking forward to it but I know it's gonna happen........ I will likely go back to work full time, or close to it (working one day a week now). Working will allow us to save more, and allow dh to retire a little sooner. What that work will be, I'm not sure. I'm not interested in going back to teaching preschool. I loved substitute teaching and will likely start with that while I explore other options.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

If we don't have any more, I will be 48 or 49 when my youngest graduates high school, depending on when he starts K.

 

I'm torn between excited I'll be so young and hopeful we will be in a position to have another in a few years, because under 50 seems too young to be "alone".

 

I have no idea what I'll do. I hope to figure that out in the next 15 years. :D

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Empty nest from high school - 48. Empty nest from college - 52.

 

I feel fine. I'm raising adults to move out on their own, not live with me the rest of their lives. (Ask me again when the first and then the last ones move out.) I don't know what I'll do with my time.

 

I kind of take exception to that. I'm also raising my kids to be independent. But I also know that without my direct help in the current economy, even with the housing having crashed, inflation is dictating that we'll have to help beyond 18 and most likely for years beyond that.

 

That said, I'm not a person who minds. I grew up in my Nana's house and they are the best memories of my childhood. Dh grew up in his grandparent's house, and he feels the same. We want to provide that for our family.

 

So, anyway, I don't think it has anything to do with how we raise them as far as their being able to live on their own. They may, but can they? Who knows.

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When my youngest turns 18, I'll be 44.

 

They don't plan on moving out until they are married and I'm ok with that so I'll likely be later 40s before I have an empty nest.

 

I'm really excited to be able to go do things with my husband and girlfriends like traveling and more adventurous things that I can't do now for fear of leaving the children with no mommy.

 

I really hope they bring me home a lot of grandchildren to pass the time too. <3

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1. I will be 56ish when my youngest graduates high school. We live in a university town, so we may have our young adults still with us, which would be fine.

 

2. I feel fine about it. I'm sure I will also feel nostalgic and weepy, but my kids are used to that already. :D It will be a new chapter.

 

3. I am already starting to do volunteer work with teen moms and babies, with future "empty nest time" in mind. I hope to spend more time working with young parents locally, and perhaps travel to work with young mothers living in poverty. I expect I'll also garden, travel with friends, and mentor/parent my young adult children, and maybe even be babysitting my grandbabies!

 

Cat

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I will be 50, if my last leaves at 18. I'm sad about it. I will work and volunteer. Our retirement really took a hit in recent years with layoffs, etc. and we didn't have that much to begin with. It's uncertain now how long we will work and how that will all play out.

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It depends on whether "empty nest" means that your youngest child turns 18, or graduates from high school, or goes off to college, or graduates from college, or gets married...

 

EK will turn 18 this year, and I will turn 52 a few days later. She will graduate from high school in 2013 and, a few months later, while I am still 52, she will go off to college. She is expected to graduate from college in 2017 when I am 56. I expect that she will move back home (as ER has done since he graduated from college) and live here until she marries.

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I *would have been* an empty-nester at 44. As that day loomed larger, I realized I wasn't ready to be done with this parenting (and homeschooling) gig. Sad, lonely, depressing thought.

 

Hence, caboose dd.

 

Now, I'll be an empty-nester at 55. Yeah, that sounds better :D.

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Providing that the youngest leaves for college at 18, I will be about 53. I don't really see that happening though. I still have college students in the house. The youngest is almost 13 now and I still have four at home. To tell the truth, I can't wait to have an empty nest though. My health is not good and my mental faculties are even worse. The kids wear me out and I really can't keep up with them. They have school, honors classes with lots of homework, jobs or volunteering and activities so most of the time they are running through the house changing clothes, grabbing what they need and are on their way out again. My house always looks like a tornado hit it and they really aren't around enough to help out much. So when they go, I plan to clean the house and then sit down, relax and read all my books. Hopefully, I will visit the youngers like I do my oldest so that I am the company and yet I still get to see them and the grandkids and enjoy their company.

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My youngest will turn 18 when I am 62. Who knows what that means as far as actually having an empty nest? Maybe mid-60's or so. We joke that by the time we have an empty nest, we'll have to move in with the kids. They've decided that they'll take turns :)

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If the younger boys leave home at 18, I'll be an empty-nester at 54. Dh will be 55. I think it's likely that some of the kids will live at home during university and even for a few years afterward, so I'd say we won't be true empty-nesters until we're about 60. We'll also likely have to care for one or two of our children as adults, so our lives won't be as carefree and exciting as some retirees we know. Still, I'm okay with where we're headed. I don't have any major plans anyway. :)

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

 

1. If by "empty nest" we are assuming age 18, I would be 43.

2. Undecided.

3. That depends on dh's and my health, our finances, etc. But, probably continue working.

 

 

That said, I doubt ds will move out permanently at 18. DH and I plan to have space set aside for him to live with us for several years beyond that, to give him a much better financial start than either of us had. Honestly, he is a wonderful child and I don't foresee it to be a burden to have him living with us past the age of majority.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

1. I'm not sure. We have been trying for a year (almost) to get pregnant with a baby who sticks... If that never happens, I will be around 54 or so and dh 55 or so when our youngest is 18. If it does happen, we will both be closer to 60.

 

2. We are Ok with being older parents when the last one flies the nest. We love parenting and will miss it when we are no longer in the trenches. (I am not dealing with my oldest being 18 all that gracefully... I want him to stay forever!! :tongue_smilie: )

 

3. We plan to travel around and visit our children and grandchildren... :D

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I assume ds will live with us for at least the first couple of years of college, so I'll likely be about 50 when he moves out. I'd like to become foster parents, if that works out. Otherwise, I intend to become more involved in volunteer efforts, and probably work part-time to help pay for ds's college. (If he doesn't need our help, I'll use the $$ to go on mission trips.) I'll continue to participate in community theatre, and maybe train to become a director for the children's theatre program. I'd like to learn to play an instrument, too.

 

I'd love to take some college classes. I'd like to regain my fluency in Spanish (teaching English to Spanish speakers is one of the volunteer things I'm interested in). I'd also like to take some other classes on things I'm interested in. Maybe I'll even get organized and get a master's degree, if I could narrow my interests down to just one major! :D

 

Wendi

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I'll be 55 when my youngest leaves. And I'm good with that. I'm so enjoying my oldest kiddos in their young adulthood. Honestly, it is waaaay more fun than the younger years. We have a great time together. And I'm an advisor, not an authority figure, and that has been wonderful.

 

My dh and I are looking forward to our empty nest years. Travel, home improvement, more travel, and hopefully grandchildren. What's not to look forward to?

 

And I have a whole list of things I want to do once I'm not tied down to homeschooling and shuttling kids around. Woo hoo!!!

 

Oh, and for those of you who say "it's far in the future" for you...no, it's not. The years between 8 and 12 fly by at the speed of light, and before you know it....you have teenagers. Seriously, they go so fast you won't believe it. So if you have an 8 or nine year old now, you're halfway through their childhood already. They're adults in your life for far longer than they're children. The time to parent little ones is very brief and goes by at warp speed. As the old song says, "Turn around and you're two, turn around and you're four, turn around and you're a young maid going out of the door."

 

 

La..La...La...I'm not listening. My oldest is turning 9 this year and that means we are halfway through our time with her. :001_huh:

 

I am going to be a wreck when my children leave home. :crying: Even if the others are still at home. I will be worried sick about what they are doing, who they are with, what they are eating, etc. I think of the stuff that I did in my late teens and early 20's (overseas travel by myself, 6 week mission trips), and I cannot imagine letting my kids do those things.

 

OP:

 

1) I will be 48 when my youngest is 18 if we don't have another.

 

2) I will be sad, worried, and hopefully happy at some point.

 

3) I am planning on either going to law school, culinary school, or devoting myself to writing/catering. Something to keep me busy! Dh and I would love to travel since we will be relatively young once our kids are grown, but we'll see how money plays out.

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In five years all my kids will have finished high school. I will be 44 by then. Next year I plan to go back to school. I want to have a doctorates by the time I turn 50. After that I would like to teach at the college level---and travel---and garden---and play with grandkids---and sleep in----and lunch with friends.

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When my youngest graduates high school I will be 58. I don't think I will go back to work at that point unless for some reason I have to. I'll probably spend the first year of non-homeschooling life just cleaning and organizing. By then I'll be 59, and maybe I'll just retire! :D

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I'll be 53 at the earliest...not sure how I feel about it 'cause it is so far away (at least 18 years since dc #7 wont joing us until December). I would love to be able to travel, go on mission trips and volunteer (although I expect to be able to start doing some of those things before all the kids are grown and gone...just have to wait until they are a little bit older (although I'm in no hurry for that, they grow too fast already!!!).

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I'm pretty sure I will never have an empty nest because one of my dc will not be able to leave home due to disabilities. If he were to follow a typical path he would be in college when I am 52. That will not be happening.

 

This question has come up before very recently (maybe a month ago). I think anyone who says they wish it wouldn't happen really hasn't contemplated the concept of missing all the "normal" joyous milestones. These milestones towards independence (first teen job, high school graduation, college, first real job, first apartment, etc) should bring you joy and pride in you dc's accomplishments.

 

My ds will have his own timetable for different milestones the dh and I will enjoy, but very few people will understand or celebrate with us. Very few people will understand what an accomplishment or milestone is for us.

 

Due to financial circumstances dh and I will work through retirement years. That may be problematic if we cannot find an appropriate day program/supported employment situation for ds. I hope to have enough income to take ds on fun outings camping, beach, simple stuff like that.

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My youngest is off to college in two years.

 

In 2014, dh and I will turn 50, I will retire from homeschooling, and we will celebrate the end of our twentieth year of homeschooling -- at least it isn't a major anniversary too!

 

Plans -- I am currently doing some tutoring, which I really enjoy. I am hoping to pick up more students as I become less involved in my own kids' daily lives. I'm also doing some volunteering at a literacy center. Dh will hopefully continue in his current position for many years to come.

 

I'm partly dreading the day when no kids are at home, but I'm also interested to see what God has in store for dh and me!

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I think anyone who says they wish it wouldn't happen really hasn't contemplated the concept of missing all the "normal" joyous milestones. These milestones towards independence (first teen job, high school graduation, college, first real job, first apartment, etc) should bring you joy and pride in you dc's accomplishments.

 

Yes, sadly it's easy to miss that perspective. Thank you for sharing.

 

:grouphug:

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I'm 49. My youngest will probably be moving out in 1-3 years. She will be turning 18 and going to college in a year. She and her best friend have talked about sharing a place and being roommates. Not sure how feasible that will be while trying to go to school, but that is what she's wanting to do.

 

 

I don't have any definite plans as of yet. We are in the process of shutting our business down. Dh has already found a job. I can't imagine being home every day just taking care of the house. I will probably go back to work, but at this point, I'm just not sure.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested? 48 unless we have another.

2. How do you feel about it? IDK, but I'm thinking I'll be relieved and sad.

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then? Go to work

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

When my daughter turns 18 I'll be 47. Even if she's home longer during college or her early work years, I'll still be really young.

 

2. How do you feel about it?

That's still a long way away for us and I have no idea what the future will hold, but I don't think I'll be sad unless she's far away and I miss her. I have always had my own personal goals and hobbies and I worked for 12 years as an adult before I had her, so I won't be at a loss.

 

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

If our daughter does move far away, we will eventually follow her when she settles down. I hope to finish my Bachelor's degree while my daughter is doing school (halfway there now). I may get my Master's in Library Science because that is what I planned to do before I had my daughter. Then I could go back to the library world if I want to work again.

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I'll only be 42 when youngest graduates high school and I think they will both move out to go to college. The closest good university is 1.5 hrs away.

 

I feel ok about it. I'm excited to see them grow up, find out who they'll be, and what they're going to do.

 

I'll probably just go to work. Actually, I'll probably go back to work in the next few years anyway since they'll both be in ps for high school.

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We'll be 50-ish, and i think we'll be mostly ready. I'll need to go back to work full-time when my youngest is 14 (which is fine, because she wouldn't do well as the only one home with me), and will probably continue to work for a few years to pad our nest egg. Doing what? I'm not sure yet -- trying to figure that out now, as I'm at a point where I could do something (work or school) from home at this point.

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In 39 days, both dds will be in college and I will be 54. I figure I can either dissolve into tears and wallow in my misery or get up and get going. So, I'm going back to work fulltime. I've loved, loved, loved being home but it's over and I can't go back. So, forward for the next phase with a good attitude and a few tears!

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

2. How do you feel about it?

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

1. I will be 54 when my youngest turns 18.

2. I'm still praying we are blessed with more so that's a ways off I hope. However, I used to dread it but now that a few have left the nest I realize it isn't as horrible as I thought it would be. :D

3. No idea.

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested? About 55 when Hobbes reaches eighteen. I assume he'll be back and forward to university until I'm about 59

2. How do you feel about it? Difficult to say at this point. I'm already dreading Calvin going away in two years, but I don't know if having a completely empty nest might be liberating. I'm hoping.

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then? I just increased my work hours to 28. I'll probably work full time in order to save as much as possible and try to avoid being a burden on the children.

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I'll be 48-49ish when the kids are ready to head off (hopefully to college). Unless I somehow manage to squeak out one more which I would LOVE.

 

It breaks my heart in some ways and thrills me in others. I hope I do a good enough job that my kids go off and have marvelous lives. But man oh man, and I going to miss them!!

 

I hope to be deep into farming and surrounded by baby animals.

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I will be 56. I don't know, I may go back to work, maybe work part time???? No idea.

 

My children are welcome to live at home as long as they need to. I just don't believe in making them leave just because they hit a magic but arbitrary number.

 

Dawn

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1. How old will you be when you're empty-nested?

I'll turn 52 a couple of weeks after our youngest turns 18. I don't know enough to know if that'll be when I'm an empty-nester. :)

 

2. How do you feel about it?

 

I don't really know. Like so many others have said, "In some ways I'm excited but in some ways I dread it." I'm both fearful and excited to see how they "turn out". :) lol

 

3. What do you plan to do with yourself/your time then?

 

Honestly I have no idea. It's 12 years away. I know what my thoughts are now but I just don't really know what life will look like then.

 

I guess I'm pretty useless on these questions, huh? LOL An "I don't know" and a "I have no idea". Big help!

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I will be 61. How do I feel about it? Well, that's hard to say. I've always tried really hard to live in the present and not be upset that I or my kids are getting older. It drives me insane when women at church who have grown children say mournfully,"enjoy them while they're young. They grow up so fast." Well, yes, they do, but why is it that the early childhood stage is the only good one? So, after that life just stinks? And really, how do you "enjoy" your kids. It's not like I keep them locked in a closet and take them out and play with them on weekends and holidays. Yes, my older kids aren't nearly as cute as they were when they were babies, but I do enjoy the ages they are at and would not turn back the clock to an infinite toddlerhood, just because that's a fun age.

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Well...

Since you asked...

And I am in the mood to let the cat out of the bag...

 

I will be 49, I think... LOL!

 

I think that my youngest graduates in 2018...

 

What I DO know is that the year he graduates we are having a HUGE party...

 

Since my ex has made life incredibly difficult, has lied more times than you can imagine about me and the past and since he has been abusive in multiple ways to our kids... I will be hosting a HUGE party in 2018... I wont have it connected to my youngest's 18th birthday, nor will it be connected to my youngest's graduation because the reason for the celebration is that I am past the time where I am expected to hold my tongue and my youngest will be an adult and did I mention we are having a HUGE party?

 

I am starting a savings for it NOW... because it will be on my birthday that year... people close to me from several states are traveling to be here (yes, they know the party is planned and they are invited) (no, I haven't talked about this in front of my younger children) (yes, I know this is a public forum)... we are going to have live music, a dj, a dance floor, lights... catered food... hired clean up... I am SO excited... and saving money.

 

Anyway... I adore each of my children so very much. I have always tried to grasp hold of each moment as it happens, because the seasons pass.... they will grow up and live their own adult lives... but, goodness, there are so many of them and life is like a continuous soap opera with our family (minus the routine exchange of who's sleeping with who...)... and I know from the first handful that have gone out the door that parents are oftentimes still very involved in their kids adult lives. I just try not to be "that" mother-in-law... and I realized just this evening that I spent a dozen years at home raising them through the early years and will spend the next two dozen years working and paying for them to get a start in life...

 

All is good. :001_smile:

 

PS... What will I do then? Well, after the party I will continue working to pay off bills and/or earn money to spend on them as they enter adult life and also continue earning to spend on the grandchildren... and I"ll plan family reunion parties every couple of years... and I will wake up on some mornings to a quiet house with nothing to do and I will inhale deeply and smile. I hope to end up with some type of career where I can work in the medical field or with the elderly (both??). I hope to go on missions trips as an older lady, too. I hope to travel out of the country multiple times. Gosh... I hope I come into some great sum of money to make all this happen... but, for now, I'd better get some sleep...

Edited by BMW
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Assuming she doesn't need to repeat a grade, DD will be graduating and leaving for college at 17. I'll turn 37 the same month she should be leaving for college. She'll turn 18 6 months later.

 

I'm in denial about it, because it feels entirely too close. :D

 

I'll be just starting my career, not even 5 years in, so I suspect I won't have too much time to dwell on how alone I am. When my time (more importantly- when my MONEY!!) is freer, I'd also like to get more involved in lab rescue and breeding.

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