mykdsmomy Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I wasn't sure how to update the title of my old thread so I started a new one...hope that's ok. So we have been visiting more with my MIL. Last week, dh and I spent the entire day at her house while sil and bil ran errands. It actually went fine. We brought ds8 and the babies with us and that helped distract mil. Then we went over on the 4th because dh's older sister and her husband were going as well ...so then the whole family was going to be there for Mil. That went ok except that sil's parents were there too (it was sil's birthday) and her mother was rude to us and didn't say two words....she's bitter that her daughter has to take care of mil since we aren't there every single day like they are :glare: So after we left that night, mil posted on Facebook, a big thank you to everyone but us for coming over and spending time with her. Fast forward to today: (backstory: sil asked me last week if we could come over ASAP to get the stuff out one of mil's rooms where she keeps all of dd17's old toys/dresses/books/etc from when she and dd13 were little. She wanted my dd's to have first pick of all of the stuff they wanted, then the rest she was going to give to her youngest dd or sell at a yard sale....since they are moving in, they want to pack stuff up to make room for their stuff) We get to Mil's house and let mil what we were going to do and mil says "you said you didn't want any of that stuff...I've given it away already...or it's spoken for" We then explain to her that sil told us last week to come and take this stuff since it's dd17's!!! Then MIL says, "Well fine....but I want to see what you're taking before you leave" ...grrr....fine.....so we go through the room and mind you, this entire room looks like a freaking toy store! It is packed with toys that mil would NOT let dd take home when she was little....including a large little tykes bookcase/toybox that dd was given on Xmas when she was like 5.....I remember that clearly because we were so excited to have something so cute to house dd's toys...and MIL said "No, that stays here at my house"....But I digress.... So my dd's pick out maybe 1/100th of the stuff in that room to take....all of it was theirs ...including a pile of old dresses they wore for Xmas or Easter and some special "dress up" costumes that dh's sister bought dd when she went to China (dd was really into Milan ...and was really mad when we wouldn't just drive her to China when she was like 6 ;) ) We get ready to go and MIL comes out and starts going through the dresses one. by. one....she starts grilling dd's on why they want to take the dresses. She tells dd17 "If you're not going to have children, then what are you going to do with these? I don't want you just giving them away...I paid a lot of money for these"....then she starts crying. She then tells dd that she'd rather keep the dresses if dd was going to give them to my dfd.... I motioned to dd13 to grab the pile of books and toys that they picked out and get them in the van while mil wasn't paying attention. MIL literally held up each dress and grilled dd17 on "Do you remember when we got this dress? Do you remember who bought it for you? Do you remember when you wore it?" It wasn't in a sweet, nostalgic way either....it was in a "do you realize how much I did for you"....way..... DD was starting to look pale and she told me she was feeling lightheaded...MIL was being so manipulative and plain mean to dd's. MIL then stood up and hugged dd and started weeping. Sil was there and started half teasing her "don't cry...." (actually it was a good thing because it broke the ice)....and mil said "They're just taking so many memories with them"...and I said "There's a ton of stuff left in there...they only took a little bit"....to which MIL said "Well it may not mean anything to you, but it does to me"..... Then we left. DD's were very upset. It was just another reminder to dd that everything her grammy gave her while she was growing up had conditions. Nothing truly belonged to dd....and yet MIL would say "Oh that's all L's stuff....I bought that all for L (my dd17). I told dd she doesn't have to go back again if she doesn't want to. I don't want to see her go through that again :( I hope I explained that all right. It's hard to explain a narcissist's behavior sometimes because it doesn't always sound so bad ....but it's the constant manipulation ..years of it...that just wears you down! Thanks for listening if you got this far :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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