Can we talk about kids and their toys?

[Guest]

So, I've always been that mean mom (product of a mean mom ;)) that allows one toy out at a time and requires it picked up before the next thing comes out. My son, who is a lot like me, has always been able to handle that pretty well. Pretty organized. He'll come out of his room so excited that he organized his closet. Now, dearest daughter, on the other hand. Wow. This girl likes to have her Littlest Pet Shop eating a lego picnic alongside her matchbox cars in a My Little Pony castle. And then, she needs to create a new scene with her My Little Ponies playing with Belle & the Beast, pretending to surf on a completely different toy. I LOVE her imagination. I LOVE how she plays. But, oh my goodness, I can't handle the mess. She's terrible at picking up. I told my husband I wanted her to be creative and not have to only have one thing out at a time. He suggested that each night we just ask her to have her floor cleaned and once a month I can go through her bins. We didn't really want to force her to pick everything up every night, because most of her "friends" are in the middle of something. :tongue_smilie: So, fast forward a couple of days and EVERYTHING is mixed together. Legos in every.single.bin she owns. Everything is mish-mash. I was like :001_huh::blink::svengo::auto:

 

I really want to give her space with her toys and not be such a neat freak tyrant. It's just hard for me to find a balance. So, what do you all do? Especially with your kids that are not naturally neat? How can we remain somewhat organized and yet let her lively imagination run free? She is 5, fwiw.

[SKL]

Are the bins clearly labeled / designated for what goes in each one? My kids' legos go in a certain lego tub, and they have certain boxes for dollhouse stuff, bins for the train set, etc. It's not a perfect solution, but it helps. (My kids also combine many different toys in their play. And, like you, I don't make them break the play scene down each night. It's quite elaborate and very organized as far as the kids are concerned. They even ask me to tell the maids not to move anything, LOL.)

 

I do go through their stuff a little more often than I probably should, because I'm like you - I don't want it to get crazy, and a young kid may or may not have that organization gene.

 

I don't ask them to clean when they don't have time to do it right. To me, that's just asking for everything to be stuffed into the wrong place. If evening time is limited, I leave it until another day. Or I might have them pick up one type of item, e.g., put all the legos in the lego bin and leave the rest.

[bettyandbob]

I think you build in a scheduled weekly cleanup where everyone goes back to their home bin and gets a rest. After the room is cleaned dd and mommy go do an activity away from the toys while they "rest".

 

Then your dd can start a fresh story the next time she goes back to her room.

 

Just an aside (you know you are a homeschooler if...) : You know those stories are great language arts projects. When my dd was 4, we wrote a "book" together. She posed her dolls/figures and told me what was happening. I took a picture. We did this through multiple poses and she did tie up the story. Then, I typed up her words and inserted the pictures.

[linders]

Well, I have 2 boys like your DD. It used to drive me crazy, what seemed to be a random mess. I fussed and fumed and organized to pieces. And then - I decided that every night there needed to be a clear path to the bed (for safety), every 2-3 weeks the whole floor needs to be clear (for vacuuming), and every so often we sort everything (when even they can't find what they want). Once I decided why I wanted things picked up and planned for that, we were all happier, and they can entertain themselves for hours on end without resorting to electronics (unlike many of their friends in tidier homes).

[Joker]

My youngest is exactly like that and I just let her organize them however she wants.:tongue_smilie: As long as she is picking them up when she's done I really don't care anymore.

[SebastianCat]

My kids are older (10 & 8) and we still struggle with this. I've gotten to the point where I just want everything put away and don't care as much if it's in the "correct" bin. It seems like the older they get, the smaller the toys get.

 

My kids do vacuum their own rooms every couple of weeks, and if they happen to have missed some legos, unfortunately, the law of natural consequences says that they end up being eaten by the vacuum. Oh well.

 

We're working on it, but it just doesn't come naturally for some kids (or moms!).

[Chaos Coordinator]

We have some toys that they have free access to - cars, dinosaurs, dolls, musical instruments, play food. We have a toddler bed sized racecar bed with no mattress and use that for a large open top dump bin type of setup. Although I encourage them to put the food and dishes in the play kitchen, the dress up stuff in bins, and the instruments on a shelf, it dOesnt always happen. I expect to have to go through it once a week or so to help keep it sorted, but I consider this as modeling the proper behavior - teaching them how to organize things by having things organized and encouraging them to follow the system to the best of their abilities.

 

Other things require parental permission/supervision - legos, building manipulatives, games, puzzles.

[Dory]

My daughter is like that. We have scheduled 'time to pick up' times everyday and I will reorganize the toys maybe once a month. She can make however much of a mess as she wants to, but she will have to clean it up in an hour or two. I keep repeating to her that if you pick stuff up as soon as you are done with it, it makes less of a mess. The last few months I've noticed that she has gotten a lot cleaner with how she plays, and a lot more organized with how she cleans. She will never be as naturally organized as her brother, but I think that's just her personality, and instead of either letting her go nuts with it, or getting angry or annoyed because of it, I'll just giver her some boundaries with it and help her figure out what works for her.

 

Probably helps that she's a carbon copy of what I used to be :tongue_smilie:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I have that exact same problem. I have organized the boys' room multiple times, with adorable little bins that are clearly labeled for each type of toy. They also have everything all out at once and Star Wars guys are in battles with the knights, who are hiding in a Lego fort and tossing Nerf darts. Meanwhile, the Gormitis have invaded the Bakugans in the Beyblade arena, while all the stuffed animals watch. They will literally have every single toy they own out at one time. It makes my body twitch. They NEVER put things back in the proper bins. So, I gave up. They each have one big bin and two smaller bins labeled with their names, and they have to pick up the entire room once a week so that I can vacuum and dust in there.

[Guest]

Thank you all! It is so good to know that we are not alone! I think I may try the Legos being off limits unless I specify. I think I could probably manage the others... we will see! Thanks for all of this reassurance!

[ktgrok]

I have heard of some moms putting down a small area rug, or using a table, and saying that anything that fits on that rug or table can stay out, everything else has to be picked up. Does that work?

[AK_Mom4]

When my kids were little, we had 2 large buckets that were the catch-all buckets. Day-to-day, they picked up things by just dumping them in the catch-all tubs. Next day, they would just dump out the tubs and take off playing again.

 

Saturday was clean up day - we would sort out the catch-all tubs and put things where they belonged. Much less overwhelming to sort two buckets and only took about 10 minutes max.

[Soror]

To be honest we don't have a lot of that kind of stuff because she would play with it a little while and be bored. My girls, 5 and 2.5, have play kitchen items, instruments, dress-up clothes and a half dozen dolls/stuffies. I do expect things to be picked up and if it is a consistent problem then we will thin down the toys. It has to fit in the room and they have to be able to keep it clean (that is for the 5 yo and obviously not so much for the 2.5yo). I let her keep a few things out overnight but not excessive amounts and not extended periods.

[GoVanGogh]

So, I've always been that mean mom (product of a mean mom ;)) that allows one toy out at a time and requires it picked up before the next thing comes out.

Honestly... I think that is the fastest way to kill creativity.

That is the way I let go of the need to have everything neat and tidy.

 

My son and a neighbor girl would create elaborate play scenes and I would let them leave them up for a week or so at a time.

Once DS didn't play with on a daily basis (or the neighbor girl didn't drop by for a few days), I would help DS tear it down and reorganize his toys.

I do believe that children need to be allowed to play creatively and that does mean making a mess and it does mean bringing out the toy school bus to pick up the dinosaurs that are invading the farm yard while the pink flamingos are escaping from the zoo while the alligators are climbing up the marble run...

 

A mess? Yes. But think of the creativity that it is fostering. :D

 

I have always let DS make a mess, so long as he was playing with it. When it was out of hand and needed picked up, I would help. Around age 8, he was able to control his own mess and pick up and sort his own toys.

[catz]

Oh my goodness, that is totally my daughter. She just turned 8. Her American girls love EVERYTHING! :tongue_smilie: I'm still trying to grin and bear it. I try to do a mass clean up in the evening where everyone helps. If I don't have to wake up in the morning to a huge mess it helps a ton. They do have spaces where they can keep stuff up longer if they want, but the main route of the house needs to be clear every night.

 

It's a phase. It's good to have a creative child that's an out of the box thinker, right!? :D

[momacacia]

I really have nothing useful to contribute to the organization issue, but as someone who wrote their first "novel" in First Grade, let me just say that I loved reading about her stories and imagination. Enjoy! :) And while I am much happier in uncluttered spaces, I have a mother and firstborn who feel "safe, comfortable and cozy" with visual clutter and stuff all around them.:tongue_smilie:

[alisoncooks]

LOL @ the OP because you described my oldest DD to a "T". Right now we have a unicorn picnic with Pet Shop furniture with Barbie food with Lego accents going on.

 

Here's what I've done (which by no means is a solution because we still have a hot mess, but I've just learned to look away when I pass her room):

 

1. DD's only allowed to do *that* sort of creative play in her room, where the door can be closed.
   
2. She has a certain rug that she can set things up on -- I allow items on that rug to stay out overnight. Or overweek, whatever, it's fair game. The rest of the room gets cleaned when I say, even if "I'm still playing with that...." *whine* But the rug is Neutral Territory and does not have to be cleaned when the room is.
   
3. We love those 1 ft. cube organizers with cloth boxes (have a 2x3). DD has a pony box, Barbie box, etc, etc. When things get picked up, they just get sorted into the correct box.
   
4. Because some of the THINGS were so small, I bought her a smallish plastic container with lid and handle. Actually, we have 2; one for characters/PetShops/squinkies/animals...and one for their Accersories. :glare: It's easy see what's inside (clear plastic). And the lid snaps closed, she can tote it around by the handle to whatever area she's playing in/cleaning.
   

 

 

Like I said, not an End to The Problem, but it's helped. I also cull toys regularly.

Edited July 6, 2012 by alisoncooks

[happypamama]

I think you build in a scheduled weekly cleanup where everyone goes back to their home bin and gets a rest. After the room is cleaned dd and mommy go do an activity away from the toys while they "rest".

 

Yes, this. I still have to go through the toy bins from time to time myself, and two of my kids are 7 and 10. Also, for toys with lots of small parts, even if it's just one set of things but still has a lot of pieces, my limit is 2, maybe 3, days, before I make them pick it up. I've found that after 2 or 3 days, the blocks, for instance, are still mostly in one room, but by the 3-4 day mark, they're starting to get scattered around the house more, and by 5 days, it's worse, and so on, and then it's a much bigger pain to clean up (and gets mixed in with other things more too).

 

Also, for things like blocks or Legos, or a particular setup, I'll let them leave a small amount out if they clean up the rest in a reasonable amount of time. Keep out the Lego ship you're building, or leave the block wall to show Daddy, or leave the doll tea party setup for the next day, but clean up the rest of the Legos, blocks, and play food quickly and without grumping.

 

Also, certain things stay in DD's room (namely her dolls, but also the pink Legos that she doesn't want mixed with the general bin of Legos downstairs, and her collection of horses). In theory, her room gets cleaned every day so that it only takes a few minutes, but in reality, that doesn't always happen, so she might have a mess of doll clothes or horses on the floor. I'm okay with that, as long as a) the main parts of the house are cleaned up easily, and b) I make sure she cleans it up before she adds a second layer (and then it spirals, so that before long, the room is a disaster and very difficult to clean).

Edited July 6, 2012 by happypamama

[Susan in TX]

Does your daughter mind that everything is in a mish-mash and there are legos in every bin? Since she plays with it all together, why not just get a couple of larger bins or a toy box and store it all together?

 

It has taken me a long time to come to this realization, but I think we often want the toys to be more organised than is necessary for the kids, and we make it harder on ourselves than it has to be. Things can be neat without each toy organised in its own separate bin.

 

Susan in TX

[Guest]

Does your daughter mind that everything is in a mish-mash and there are legos in every bin? Since she plays with it all together, why not just get a couple of larger bins or a toy box and store it all together?

 

It has taken me a long time to come to this realization, but I think we often want the toys to be more organised than is necessary for the kids, and we make it harder on ourselves than it has to be. Things can be neat without each toy organised in its own separate bin.

 

Susan in TX

 

Nooooo! :lol:

 

Yeah, she doesn't mind at all. :tongue_smilie:

[Guest]

LOL @ the OP because you described my oldest DD to a "T". Right now we have a unicorn picnic with Pet Shop furniture with Barbie food with Lego accents going on.

 

Here's what I've done (which by no means is a solution because we still have a hot mess, but I've just learned to look away when I pass her room):

1. DD's only allowed to do *that* sort of creative play in her room, where the door can be closed.
   
2. She has a certain rug that she can set things up on -- I allow items on that rug to stay out overnight. Or overweek, whatever, it's fair game. The rest of the room gets cleaned when I say, even if "I'm still playing with that...." *whine* But the rug is Neutral Territory and does not have to be cleaned when the room is.
   
3. We love those 1 ft. cube organizers with cloth boxes (have a 2x3). DD has a pony box, Barbie box, etc, etc. When things get picked up, they just get sorted into the correct box.
   
4. Because some of the THINGS were so small, I bought her a smallish plastic container with lid and handle. Actually, we have 2; one for characters/PetShops/squinkies/animals...and one for their Accersories. :glare: It's easy see what's inside (clear plastic). And the lid snaps closed, she can tote it around by the handle to whatever area she's playing in/cleaning.
   

 

Like I said, not an End to The Problem, but it's helped. I also cull toys regularly.

 

Yes, it sounds like they would get along splendidly! I do most of the stuff you mentioned, I think we are going to try designating something for a set amount of toys to stay out...

[Mommyof4ks]

My boys are just like that. Honestly, I gave up and bought big bins that all of their toys go in. They have big imaginations that require many toys to make their story lines work, and because so many people notice that and compliment that I try to accommodate the boys. As long as everything makes it up off the floor at night we are good. Legos hurt my feet at 2am lol.

 

My dd is very orderly and cleans up well and is good with the one toy rule. She lacks imagination, but she loves to read and loves that she can read on her iPod, because it create less mess lol. Different personalities for sure.

[Chaos Coordinator]

I know I already replied but i have more thoughts on this topic.

 

I used to work for a preschool and we were supposed to not allow the children to mix their centers. No blocks in the kitchen center and such. It was both difficult and disheartening, stifling and really just unnecessary.

 

That experience is the main one that led me to allow my kids access to everything at once.

 

However, some things really require all or most of the set for it to be enjoyable - trains, puzzles, blocks, board games. Those are the types of things we keep in a closet with a babyproof knob cover and a long string of bells :D I almost always oblige a request for them, but I don't let then free range because I feel it would detract from the level of enjoyability. That said, when the legis are out, I encourage intermingling of other playthings as well. But when legos (or trains, or hot wheel tracks, etc) are dOne, they get cleaned up and put back into the closet.

[sewingmama]

First -give up the idea you will get that stuff organised :lol:

 

I had separate bins for everything and I was the one spending hours sorting it into each bin. In the end I just dumped it all together - takes much less time to pick up. The kids would just mix everything up again the next day anyway.

 

DD has all her toys in her own bedroom with some boxes under the bed. I get her to clean it up when I can no longer step on the carpet without standing on something :glare: I always help her -I don't require she do it herself yet.

 

I've tried the "use one thing and put it back appraoch" - but it doesn't work. My kids toys are the kinds that come in pieces and yes my DD's Sylvanian families love to have a picnic with the Petshop animals :D

[Tohru]

Honestly... I think that is the fastest way to kill creativity.

That is the way I let go of the need to have everything neat and tidy.

 

My son and a neighbor girl would create elaborate play scenes and I would let them leave them up for a week or so at a time.

Once DS didn't play with on a daily basis (or the neighbor girl didn't drop by for a few days), I would help DS tear it down and reorganize his toys.

I do believe that children need to be allowed to play creatively and that does mean making a mess and it does mean bringing out the toy school bus to pick up the dinosaurs that are invading the farm yard while the pink flamingos are escaping from the zoo while the alligators are climbing up the marble run...

 

A mess? Yes. But think of the creativity that it is fostering. :D

 

I have always let DS make a mess, so long as he was playing with it. When it was out of hand and needed picked up, I would help. Around age 8, he was able to control his own mess and pick up and sort his own toys.

 

:iagree: When I was growing up, my mom was so neat, it was like living in a museum.

 

What is the point of toys if they are only there to look nice and organized and you can't play with them? I've never understood the one toy only rule. It's kind of sad. We use legos to build doll houses and Kapla blocks to make stables for horses. The dolls visit the zoo and the zoo animals colonize the moon and on and on.

 

As a homeschooler, it seems that there is a compromise of the tidy instinct, not only toys, but books, and maps being charted and science experiments, and art projects, and garden starts, and computer parts...

Edited July 7, 2012 by jadedone80

[Tohru]

I know I already replied but i have more thoughts on this topic.

 

I used to work for a preschool and we were supposed to not allow the children to mix their centers. No blocks in the kitchen center and such. It was both difficult and disheartening, stifling and really just unnecessary.

 

That experience is the main one that led me to allow my kids access to everything at once.

 

However, some things really require all or most of the set for it to be enjoyable - trains, puzzles, blocks, board games. Those are the types of things we keep in a closet with a babyproof knob cover and a long string of bells :D I almost always oblige a request for them, but I don't let then free range because I feel it would detract from the level of enjoyability. That said, when the legis are out, I encourage intermingling of other playthings as well. But when legos (or trains, or hot wheel tracks, etc) are dOne, they get cleaned up and put back into the closet.

 

:iagree:

Oh yeah, we do not intermingle board games, puzzles, art supplies, and playdoh because they are a different breed all together.

So I guess we have 2 different kinds of things: toys to play with however and then the closet toys that can only be out one at a time and put away immediately after use.

[Soror]

I don't have the one must put away one thing before another rule, although I've always felt bad about it. Although, we've been working on if your done with one thing put it up because often what happens here one gets out the drawing paper and all the crayons, markers, and stickers and then they finish and move directly to the living room to build a fort with all the couch cushions and covers. Then by the time they are done with that they don't want to go back and clean up the drawing stuff as well because they've created such a mess with the forts.

 

fwiw I think it is an odd concept that only in the Western world a child must have a ton of toys or we will stifle their creativity. I find mine are much more creative when they have fewer open-ended toys. When there is too much they just forget what they have. They role play a lot but they do it with each other- "I'm the mommy today", ds is the Monster, daddy gets to get a makeover (he looks oh so cute in hair clips), in the summertime now a waterhose is the biggest attraction, in the winter and other months a big pile of dirt and the forest are huge fun. Ds' favorites are Legos and K'nex. He has a couple of other building toys but those are what he uses.

 

Every now and then I help in their rooms and make sure things are organized and to weed out trash/junk and unused items, I always get profusely thanked because they like it orderly and it helps them to see everything new again. Dd said I was the best mom in the world last time.

Edited July 7, 2012 by soror

[Alice]

I’ve given up and the toys have taken over the house. :)

 

Not really. I have given up mostly on my own desire for organization. They can mix and do whatever they want with their toys and the toys mostly stay in their rooms. I require that the floor is clean in their rooms so we can walk on it, if they have a giant Lego creation or Playmobil battle they can ask to leave it out and usually we’ll say yes. Otherwise, they have storage space and areas and I just ask that they use them but it doesn’t have to be sorted. I have a few baskets in the living room where I can toss all the toys that make it out to our main living area. Every few months we do a “Major Mega Mommy Clean” and go through their room and things get culled and much neater.

 

I don’t require the “clean up one thing before you play with something else” rule but we have more of a clean up one area before you move on. So if they are playing dress-up and then get bored and come upstairs they are supposed to clean up the dress up stuff. But if they are playing dress-up and then that game migrates upstairs they can wait until they are done to clean up.

[Refined by Silver]

I know exactly what you mean, but I've given up. I go through the toys once in a while and put all the action figures together and so forth. I show them where I would like them, but otherwise I don't get upset as long as I am not sweeping up too many legos. They are pretty good about keeping the legos in the right bucket when they aren't designing something, so I forget the rest.:tongue_smilie: