Pigby doesn't want to homeschool anymore

[meggie]

He wants me to go sign him up for public school tomorrow. He says he wants to make more friends. I had thought about having a couple of his friends from our church over to do some art projects every week. There are some classes in the area, but DH thinks he's too young to be dropped off at a stranger's house.

 

Just feeling like a failure all around. This socializing thing is definitely the hardest part about homeschooling for me. I would be fine staying inside every day.

[Lizzie in Ma]

First of all, :grouphug::grouphug:.

I know it is hard sometimes but you are not a failure.

He is 6, he doesn't know what he wants and the decision to home educate or not doesn't belong to him.

There are plenty of ways to find activities for a child who craves more social interaction that won't put undue stress on you.

[dangermom]

:grouphug: I do find that as a homeschooler I need to put more effort into my kids' social lives. That is just part of the deal--you have to make the calls and set up the playdates, because people will forget about you a bit. It's not that they dislike you, just that everyone is busy and tends to socialize with the people they see regularly as they go about their lives. So the homeschooler has to put more effort in. When I had a 6yo I usually tried to get friend interaction at least 3-4 days a week. I'm not saying it's easy! But it is part of the deal. :)

 

Do you have a homeschooling play/park day group? If not, maybe try to find one?

 

Yes, call up those folks from church and do the art stuff. Also call them up and get their kids over just to play.

 

Are there kids on your block? If so, help your little guy get out there and make some friends.

[LittleIzumi]

He wants me to go sign him up for public school tomorrow. He says he wants to make more friends. I had thought about having a couple of his friends from our church over to do some art projects every week. There are some classes in the area, but DH thinks he's too young to be dropped off at a stranger's house.

 

Just feeling like a failure all around. This socializing thing is definitely the hardest part about homeschooling for me. I would be fine staying inside every day.

 

If he's too young to be dropped off at a small, individualized class, why is he ready to be dropped off in a class of 30 strange kids plus multiple strange teachers?

 

There will be a lot of different class choices in the fall. You don't have to drop him off. You could stay and let the kids run around the hallways. There's the PE class at UVU, the science class, the in-home HSing meetups, dance classes, and lots more choices. (Plus PM me about what we're doing specifically this year. It might work for you guys. Different from last year.)

[Tarreymere]

Public school kids are not there all summer. They are home now too. Does he know that? Or does he think the public schools are like some 24/7-365 kid's club?

 

I've had kids in public school. In the summer they moan and complain that they don't have any friends, they're bored, and want to be taken places and eat out. When school is in session they moan and complain that they don't want to get up in the morning and that the kids in school are mean or are picking on them, and that they don't get enough time to play. It's only rarely that a given kid is content with a given situation, the only constant is that they complain.

 

I wouldn't worry about it. If you want to find the public school kids now to play with them you can go look on the playground. I've never made playdates for any of my kids. I'm not a cruise director and I'm not in charge of entertainment. If the complaining gets too annoying I give my kids a big chore to do, and amazingly they seem to be able to amuse themselves without complaining for days afterward.

Edited July 4, 2012 by Rainefox

[Dustybug]

First of all, :grouphug::grouphug:.

I know it is hard sometimes but you are not a failure.

He is 6, he doesn't know what he wants and the decision to home educate or not doesn't belong to him.

There are plenty of ways to find activities for a child who craves more social interaction that won't put undue stress on you.

 

:iagree:

[EducationX2]

Just feeling like a failure all around. This socializing thing is definitely the hardest part about homeschooling for me. I would be fine staying inside every day.

 

:grouphug: I'd be fine staying inside every day also, and it is hard for me to keep up the friendship thing for DD also.

 

You aren't a failure!! I think many of the people here would say that their kids wanted to go to school at one point. Remember- he's 6! He's not old enough to make decisions like that.

 

Sadly, it is up to us to get out there and find things for our kids. At least for the next couple years, until he is old enough to make and maintain friendships on his own, you need to be the one arranging things. I know, I hate to do it also. I would maybe talk to DH more about the classes in the area. Sounds like Pigby needs time with other homeschoolers. Are these classes the only option? Are there other things he could do with homeschoolers?

 

:grouphug: Another hug. You aren't a failure!!!!

[ksr5377]

My daughter who will be 6 in September has often stated she would like to go to school. DH and I explained to her that parents get to make lots of important decisions, including how to educate their children, and homeschooling is what we have chosen. I did tell her that her opinion matters, and when she's a little bit older we will talk about it all again to see if homeschooling is still the right choice. Her response was "Yeah, good idea, so maybe when I'm like 19 I can go to school?" I had to laugh, but it really brought it home to me that despite what she wants, she's still so young and it's still our choice. Obviously as she gets older she will have a lot more input.

[dangermom]

I've had kids in public school. In the summer they ...want to be taken places and eat out.

 

What a coincidence! I ALSO want to be taken places and eat out. :D

[Maus]

You are in Utah county, right? We do have a park day for Provo/Orem, and I think there is an AF group, too. Provo/Orem rotates parks. This Friday is Windsor in Orem at 10. I'm on my phone, one handed with sleeping toddler, but can look up the address later.

[meggie]

If he's too young to be dropped off at a small, individualized class, why is he ready to be dropped off in a class of 30 strange kids plus multiple strange teachers?

 

There will be a lot of different class choices in the fall. You don't have to drop him off. You could stay and let the kids run around the hallways. There's the PE class at UVU, the science class, the in-home HSing meetups, dance classes, and lots more choices. (Plus PM me about what we're doing specifically this year. It might work for you guys. Different from last year.)

 

Well what happened was, a lady on the group was starting art classes at her home. I thought it was a pretty reasonable price, and the kids and I could have walked. DH was against it because we didn't know the lady and even though I would have just walked around the block during the hour, he was worried something would happen. Better to be safe than sorry. I was not worried, but he was. DH doesn't want to put Pigby in public school either.

 

Public school kids are not there all summer. They are home now too. Does he know that? Or does he think the public schools are like some 24/7-365 kid's club?

 

I've had kids in public school. In the summer they moan and complain that they don't have any friends, they're bored, and want to be taken places and eat out. When school is in session they moan and complain that they don't want to get up in the morning and that the kids in school are mean or are picking on them, and that they don't get enough time to play. It's only rarely that a given kid is content with a given situation, the only constant is that they complain.

 

I wouldn't worry about it. If you want to find the public school kids now to play with them you can go look on the playground. I've never made playdates for any of my kids. I'm not a cruise director and I'm not in charge of entertainment. If the complaining gets too annoying I give my kids a big chore to do, and amazingly they seem to be able to amuse themselves without complaining for days afterward.

 

I think he thinks it's like a great big kids club. He does know they're out for the summer, but he wants to go when they start. He told me homeschooling was boring :crying: I told him I spent a lot of money and time trying to find things that weren't boring. Then he said it would be easier for me if he were gone during the day. :confused:I told him it would be a different kind of hard. Then he said we could do homeschooling when he gets back from public school. I told him there wouldn't be enough time.

 

I think he's just trying to push my buttons to see which one hits. Not in a cruel way, I think he's trying to get out of doing his work for the day.

 

You are in Utah county, right? We do have a park day for Provo/Orem, and I think there is an AF group, too. Provo/Orem rotates parks. This Friday is Windsor in Orem at 10. I'm on my phone, one handed with sleeping toddler, but can look up the address later.

 

Thanks, I know where that one is. Maybe I'll try to go this week.

[G5052]

:grouphug: I do find that as a homeschooler I need to put more effort into my kids' social lives. That is just part of the deal--you have to make the calls and set up the playdates, because people will forget about you a bit. It's not that they dislike you, just that everyone is busy and tends to socialize with the people they see regularly as they go about their lives. So the homeschooler has to put more effort in. When I had a 6yo I usually tried to get friend interaction at least 3-4 days a week. I'm not saying it's easy! But it is part of the deal. :)

 

Do you have a homeschooling play/park day group? If not, maybe try to find one?

 

Yes, call up those folks from church and do the art stuff. Also call them up and get their kids over just to play.

 

Are there kids on your block? If so, help your little guy get out there and make some friends.

 

We went through this phase when they were younger, and going off on the bus seemed like the most wonderful thing in the world to them. We ended up in martial arts, piano, and a weekly co-op, and that reduced the complaints quite a bit. Now they have long-term friends that they call and text during the week in addition to the activities, and they're fine. I haven't heard that request in years now.

 

They had friends in the neighborhood for awhile, but when some begin to hit middle school, the mean stuff started and those friends drifted away.

[G5052]

I think he's just trying to push my buttons to see which one hits. Not in a cruel way, I think he's trying to get out of doing his work for the day.

 

 

This is the eternal struggle, frankly. It will still be there when they're sixteen, trust me.

[Parrothead]

The good news is he doesn't get to make the decision. The bad news is you (and probably dh) are going to have to move out of your comfort zone to make sure the kids are getting the social outlets they need.

 

Was there a reason you couldn't stay at the art lady's house? Maybe not inside if she needs space, but maybe on the porch your littles? At least until you got to know the lady a bit.

[GoVanGogh]

I do find that as a homeschooler I need to put more effort into my kids' social lives.

:iagree: I found I really had to put myself out there a lot more than I normally would feel comfortable with, in order to build up a social network for DS and myself.

 

 

To be honest, though... We will be starting our 6th year of homeschooling and we are friends with dozens of homeschoolers. And I still have moments of panic over socialization. :001_huh:

Classic example: Last fall, we were crazy busy and I kept saying I just wanted a day or two without any social obligations. Then came Halloween/trick-or-treating. As DS and I started to go out that night, I realized that we were... alone! We only have one friend in our neighborhood (public school kid) and I hadn't planned on getting together with friends or anything. Epic fail on my part. We looked like that stereotypical unsocialized homeschool family. :tongue_smilie:

The evening ended up working out well, but I was so worried that DS would be upset. It did make me realize that I can't sit back and relax re: socialization.

 

Well what happened was, a lady on the group was starting art classes at her home. I thought it was a pretty reasonable price, and the kids and I could have walked. DH was against it because we didn't know the lady and even though I would have just walked around the block during the hour, he was worried something would happen. Better to be safe than sorry. I was not worried, but he was.

Could you stay and observe the class? I wouldn't write off this chance w/o talking to the teacher about options.

DS has taken a few classes that meet at a fellow homeschool mom's home. I have always stayed, along with several other moms. Some do drop and go, but I was hardly the only one that stayed.

 

I've had kids in public school. In the summer they moan and complain that they don't have any friends, they're bored, and want to be taken places and eat out.

From my experience with friends in public school - their social network collapses during the summer.

Our homeschool community continues to get together year-round, though maybe in different outlets during the hot summer months. From fall to spring, we meet weekly at a park. Summer, we get together at the community pool.

[Dmmetler]

Ask him what he wants, and see what you can do. My DD7 did the same thing almost exactly a year ago.

 

It turned out that most of what she wanted were the trappings of school, not school itself. So we picked a school name, mascot, and decorated our classroom, got some custom-printed items, including a school "uniform" polo shirt for DD, DH, and I with a DD-drawn logo on it, and set up a school schedule. It provided what she needed. I really didn't change anything else-we'd already done a homeschool co-op that provided weekly classes (more social than academic), a reason to pack a lunchbox, parties for holidays, some place to bring cupcakes for birthdays, and field trips to wear her "School uniform" to. Since DD is an only, I'd always made an effort to provide social and group outlets-I just hadn't made an effort to make it look like "School".

 

One of my friends had a similar situation with her rising 6th grader. It turned out that 6th grade at her DD's former school was when kids got lockers in the hall. So, she bought her daughter a locker and lock, installed it in the school room, and let her DD use it for storage of all her school stuff. Problem solved :).

 

It may turn out to be something just that simple and silly :).

Edited July 4, 2012 by dmmetler

[LeslieAnneLevine]

Well what happened was, a lady on the group was starting art classes at her home. I thought it was a pretty reasonable price, and the kids and I could have walked. DH was against it because we didn't know the lady and even though I would have just walked around the block during the hour, he was worried something would happen. Better to be safe than sorry. I was not worried, but he was. DH doesn't want to put Pigby in public school either.

 

 

 

 

Have you met her yet? If not, why not set up a time for you and your husband to meet her? I taught an English class for kids ages 5-7 in my home and they were dropped off. I am not sure what you husband is concerned about exactly, but maybe it's something you could ask the teacher about. "Better safe than sorry" can be appropriate at times, but it can also be a pretty limiting motto to live by.

[catz]

If he's too young to be dropped off at a small, individualized class, why is he ready to be dropped off in a class of 30 strange kids plus multiple strange teachers?

 

:iagree: Small individualized classes or activities are usually much higher quality and more engaging for young kids anyway (my oldest went to kindergarten and first grade). Has he tried any sports? Do you have any local museums that offer kids science or art classes? Activities keep all of us sane over here.

 

In the case of the art class, I would have sat in a couple times before leaving.

Edited July 4, 2012 by kck

[thefragile7393]

Have you met her yet? If not, why not set up a time for you and your husband to meet her? I taught an English class for kids ages 5-7 in my home and they were dropped off. I am not sure what you husband is concerned about exactly, but maybe it's something you could ask the teacher about. "Better safe than sorry" can be appropriate at times, but it can also be a pretty limiting motto to live by.

:iagree:

[Lisbeth]

Sometimes it is hard to hear things like this from the kids. I put this sort of thing in the vegetable column, so to speak. Sometimes and even often, you have to eat your ,vegetables. School won't be a constant party. At six a child just has to do what mom and dad have d deemed necessary. ;) Don't feel bad! :grouphug:

[Mommy22alyns]

Ugh, I just had Sylvia tell me that one of her friends said that public school is fun. :tongue_smilie:

[Soror]

The good news is he doesn't get to make the decision. The bad news is you (and probably dh) are going to have to move out of your comfort zone to make sure the kids are getting the social outlets they need.

 

Was there a reason you couldn't stay at the art lady's house? Maybe not inside if she needs space, but maybe on the porch your littles? At least until you got to know the lady a bit.

 

:iagree:

[Canadianmumof5]

Sometimes it is hard to hear things like this from the kids. I put this sort of thing in the vegetable column, so to speak. Sometimes and even often, you have to eat your ,vegetables. School won't be a constant party. At six a child just has to do what mom and dad have d deemed necessary. ;) Don't feel bad! :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

[Ellie]

First of all, :grouphug::grouphug:.

I know it is hard sometimes but you are not a failure.

 

He is 6, he doesn't know what he wants and the decision to home educate or not doesn't belong to him.

 

There are plenty of ways to find activities for a child who craves more social interaction that won't put undue stress on you.

:iagree:

 

And ITA with your dh that your ds is too young to be dropped off at a class, especially one that you're doing primarily for the purpose of socializing.

[Guest]

:grouphug: When my son was 4, I took him to the local school district for some testing. Oh my goodness, it was SO much fun and so colorful. He promptly told me that he wanted to go there for school and my heart broke. (I understood, goodness, I wanted to go there!) We just brought color and fun into our home and he hasn't mentioned it again...

[mama2cntrykids]

What a coincidence! I ALSO want to be taken places and eat out. :D

 

That made me smile...see-->:001_smile:. LOL...

[Kelly1730]

Ugh, I just had Sylvia tell me that one of her friends said that public school is fun. :tongue_smilie:

 

Well, their perception can be skewed:tongue_smilie: We have a wonderful in-ground pool in our back yard. Our neighbors belong to the community pool about 5 minutes away by car. My boys have told me more than once that the neighbors " can go swimming anytime they want to" :001_huh: