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Do you ever feel like Job?


Lara in Colo
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I know that God exists and I truly want to please Him, and my faith in His existence has not wavered.

I just feel that He doesn't give a carp about me.

 

I do not feel that I will abandon my faith, but I do feel like the red-headed- step-child.

 

We have struggled for so long.

I want to stop fearing for the future.

 

I have been praying and praying and praying----for years-- no answer (good or bad).

 

We have good things, yes.

But really the only thing that has been blessed is our school, not our lives.

I don't know if I can continue to school if I cannot get the courage to face the day sometimes.

DH works and works and works.

We are broke and I am always alone.

There truly is only so much loneliness a person can take, so much separation and stress a marriage can take, so much silence my faith can take.

 

Why won't God talk to me?

Has He gone silent (like in between the testaments)

What have I done to make Him hate me?

What can I do to make it stop?

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Yes, I have felt like Job and spent quite a bit of time studying Job with commentaries. At times I could only think "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him." And I've had plenty of 'miserable comforters' too!

 

Sorry you are having a rough time. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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I'm so sorry :( Gently... I'd like to suggest that you look at your health. I feel like when you have your health, you have options. I have options that I can think of... but don't know what you want. (Just hugs?) :) With my mom having cancer and it's not going to be cured, all of my perspective has changed. My mom and dad are the perfect couple. They have everything that you could want. (Family who adores them, money to be comfortable, and a strong love of God and who He is) Insurance that has covered chemo and treatments for the last year.... and $$$$ to eat organically and vitamins up the whadzoola.... and yet cancer will take her, probably.

So, it's one of those... Do something with your kids, give yourself a break, drink a good cup of coffee... and Thank God for your health!! (I hope that's not something you just didn't mention, if there are problems there:()

I do understand being overwhelmed... I understand wanting to get yourself out of the quick sand where it feels like your drowning.

I hope you take this post in the right way...

Sincerely :)

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[

 

yes, there have been times I have felt like Job. (hopefully those are finally in the past to stay in the past!) we would work hard to get on top of set-backs - and then something ELSE would go wrong. for years. It got to be a cliched bad joke. :tongue_smilie: I even had a few Job's comforter's telling me we (dh and I) must be doing something wrong and implying we were being punished. (umm, no.)

 

I wondered why God was so quiet and received no direction. But in OTHER things that weren't related to "the biggies" we were dealing with - we WOULD ocassionally receive direction.:glare: at one point, we even asked our Bishop to please pray and get an answer about what we were supposed to be doing differently because *we* weren't getting anything. He came back and said "I got nothing". re: this was just something we needed to go through, not because of anything wrong, but to stretch our faith.

 

I learned, just becasue God wasn't talking to me during that time about the things that were most concerning, doesn't mean He wasn't there watching over me. He was. Just as we will let our children fledge and not interfere lest we stunt their growth, so will He. But He was right there, watching, if truly needed. I had a period of three days where I literally felt someone standing behind me with their arms around my chest holding me upright - and kicking at my legs trying to get me to stand on them myself.

 

I learned it's not about the answers to prayers, but about faith in God and trusting in Him. we do what we need to, and know that He see's the big picture.

 

do remember, when Job's trials were over, his faith and steadfastness were rewarded and he was greatly blessed. God never abandoned him, but was always there watching.

 

eta: if you are struggling with depression during this time - do seek professional help.

Edited by gardenmom5
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I've been there ... specifically three times in my life where I felt like what you just described and moreover felt that God was silent. Two out of the three times it took me to a place where I was begging to hear something -- anything from God. I did. I can't explain how crazy it is to have a prayer like that answered. Once it was through somebody specific and what they said ... and another time it was through a circumstance and everything lining up the right way. One particular time I had others praying very specifically for me and this last time God has been speaking to me through scripture verses. I want you to know that God is there -- God is listening and he knows your pain. I have no idea why some people seem to have so many things going wrong at once ... seemingly in almost every area of there life ... unrelated things are all going wrong. I have felt like Job. However, I cling to this: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 

I do know that those darkest times in my life gave birth to the most beautiful trust and faith that I could ever know. He has allowed me to understand more about spiritual gifts and ministries that I wouldn't have understood without those trials. It also allowed me to speak more freely about my faith ...

Edited by mommy5
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I know that God exists and I truly want to please Him, and my faith in His existence has not wavered.

I just feel that He doesn't give a carp about me.

 

I do not feel that I will abandon my faith, but I do feel like the red-headed- step-child.

 

We have struggled for so long.

I want to stop fearing for the future.

 

I have been praying and praying and praying----for years-- no answer (good or bad).

 

We have good things, yes.

But really the only thing that has been blessed is our school, not our lives.

I don't know if I can continue to school if I cannot get the courage to face the day sometimes.

DH works and works and works.

We are broke and I am always alone.

There truly is only so much loneliness a person can take, so much separation and stress a marriage can take, so much silence my faith can take.

 

Why won't God talk to me?

Has He gone silent (like in between the testaments)

What have I done to make Him hate me?

What can I do to make it stop?

 

You wrote what has been in my head since last week, after yet another ambush. Obviously, I have no advice. Just know that you are not alone in your feelings about God.

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You're familiar w/some of my challenges.

 

I don't always hear God. Sometimes I feel like my prayers are just cast into a void.

 

But.

 

I cling to what I do have, where and how I can see Him.

 

My children are the most obvious example.

 

It says in the Bible that God has plans to bless you, not harm you. I cling to that, remind myself of that.

 

Paul asked God to remove the thorn from his flesh. Jesus asked to let the cup pass Him by. Both were told no.

 

I figure that I'm in very exhalted company in having challenges.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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You're familiar w/some of my challenges.

 

Paul asked God to remove the thorn from his flesh. Jesus asked to let the cup pass Him by. Both were told no.

 

I figure that I'm in very exhalted company in having challenges.

 

 

That actually made me laugh!!

 

I don't mind growing or even suffering, but I really want a map to tell me which way to turn!!

If He wants great things for me, then show me a direction. I feel like I am in college without a major, no way to finish if I don't know the courses to take.

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You're familiar w/some of my challenges.

 

I don't always hear God. Sometimes I feel like my prayers are just cast into a void.

 

But.

 

I cling to what I do have, where and how I can see Him.

 

My children are the most obvious example.

 

It says in the Bible that God has plans to bless you, not harm you. I cling to that, remind myself of that.

 

Paul asked God to remove the thorn from his flesh. Jesus asked to let the cup pass Him by. Both were told no.

 

I figure that I'm in very exhalted company in having challenges.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

 

:iagree:

Our lives have been a crucible for the last 7 years. It has been extremely challenging...and a blessing. I have only been able to say

"blessing" in the last year, our hardest yet.

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That actually made me laugh!!

 

I don't mind growing or even suffering, but I really want a map to tell me which way to turn!!

If He wants great things for me, then show me a direction. I feel like I am in college without a major, no way to finish if I don't know the courses to take.

Yup, I've said the same thing, in a different way, many times.

 

Then I figured out, that's what my faith is about. It's how I grew in my faith and trust. ;)

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Do I ever feel like Job?

 

Yes. Yes, I do. Frequently. And right now is one of those times.

 

:grouphug:

 

I'm sorry you're in that ucky place, too.

 

One thing I'm trying to remember to do is to keep a journal of remembrance or gratitude. I know I've been blessed, but sometimes it gets hard to remember. The fear and pain get in the way.

 

:grouphug:

 

I pray you'll find a word or memory that gives you strength for today.

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Do I ever feel like Job?

 

Yes. Yes, I do. Frequently. And right now is one of those times.

 

:grouphug:

 

I'm sorry you're in that ucky place, too.

 

One thing I'm trying to remember to do is to keep a journal of remembrance or gratitude. I know I've been blessed, but sometimes it gets hard to remember. The fear and pain get in the way.

 

:grouphug:

 

I pray you'll find a word or memory that gives you strength for today.

 

I agree...also write down everything God has done for you in the past ... spend time in prayer and reading God's Word ... ask for prayers from others ... and be specific in the prayers. Those are things I did this last time I felt this way...can't say I've always done these things. Mostly just praying about the situation(s) ...

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I don't mind growing or even suffering, but I really want a map to tell me which way to turn!!

If He wants great things for me, then show me a direction. I feel like I am in college without a major, no way to finish if I don't know the courses to take.

 

perhaps the reason you aren't being told to do anything different is because you are on the right path. there are some great destinations you can only get to by driving through long boring (and even hot and dry) stretches.

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Yup. Not that bad now, because DH is getting work at last - so some bills are being paid. But I'm really starting to miss him - he works long days & comes home tired - so he's here, but not available. (He also deals with chronic pain.)

 

DH just got paid. It's so depressing. It's really hard to look at what you WERE able to afford when all the stuff you've had to put off again is staring at you. I really try to count my blessings. And my BEST days are the ones where I follow through on my new habit and keep the computer off during the day.

 

It says in the Bible that God has plans to bless you, not harm you. I cling to that, remind myself of that.

 

Paul asked God to remove the thorn from his flesh. Jesus asked to let the cup pass Him by. Both were told no.

 

I figure that I'm in very exhalted company in having challenges.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Yeah - I take comfort here too. I prayed that my Mother wouldn't die of cancer, and I've prayed that my husband's back be healed - both "no". (BUT my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer when I was 15, she was able to beat back the cancer, and have several great years. So she got to see us grow up - that's what Dad said she wanted the most.)

 

I heard a pastor talk once - I can't remember if he was quoting someone or not - but he said that if ALL God did was save us, ALL He did was offer us the gift of forgiveness, THAT would be enough.

 

I cling to this: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 

I do know that those darkest times in my life gave birth to the most beautiful trust and faith that I could ever know. He has allowed me to understand more about spiritual gifts and ministries that I wouldn't have understood without those trials. It also allowed me to speak more freely about my faith ...

 

I love that verse. And we don't know what we've been saved from. Maybe the truck died, costing money and time to repair. But maybe when it did it kept us out of a car crash. Who knows? Like it says in Job - was I there when God spoke the world into existence? Can I tame the monsters of the sea? Who am I to question God?

 

My Dad told me long ago that someday I'd look back and see how tough I was - just going through the situation, and coming out the other side intact.

 

Thank you, OP, for starting this thread. The replies have really encouraged me. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

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Just to let everyone know:

I am reading everything including the pm's. I honestly don't know how to respond right now.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

 

I do have blessings.

I do reflect on them to keep myself going.

At some point (today) it just isn't enough.

I don't wish for the moon, just stability.

 

I won't stop growing in God if He lets things get better, I will just not have this paralyzing fear of tomorrow.

 

This has been my life for 14 years. Some worse, none better.

I am tired.

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I know that God exists and I truly want to please Him, and my faith in His existence has not wavered.

I just feel that He doesn't give a carp about me.

 

I do not feel that I will abandon my faith, but I do feel like the red-headed- step-child.

 

We have struggled for so long.

I want to stop fearing for the future.

 

I have been praying and praying and praying----for years-- no answer (good or bad).

 

We have good things, yes.

But really the only thing that has been blessed is our school, not our lives.

I don't know if I can continue to school if I cannot get the courage to face the day sometimes.

DH works and works and works.

We are broke and I am always alone.

There truly is only so much loneliness a person can take, so much separation and stress a marriage can take, so much silence my faith can take.

 

Why won't God talk to me?

Has He gone silent (like in between the testaments)

What have I done to make Him hate me?

What can I do to make it stop?

 

His ultimate intention is revealed in Song of Solomon, 8:5.

 

"Who is this coming up from the wilderness, Leaning on her beloved?"

 

Transformation. All of it, for love.

 

 

 

 

 

.

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OP This so could have been my post.... I thought things were finally getting better but no, they were only gearing up to get even worse, as if I thought that was possible!

 

I'm sorry, I don't have anything more encouraging to offer, just know that you are cared about here :grouphug:

 

It is some consolation for me, and I hope it is for you to know that you are not the only one, because it sure feels like I'm the only one in the land of (seeming)perfection I find myself living in. So, while I am hurting for you, it encourages me that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I hope that your situation improves soon, and you get to see some of the "better"

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Yes. Actually, I call myself Job's wife sometimes. She was in the same pickle Job was (except for health), but grouched about it. That's more like me. :D

 

I've even said I feel like we are God's stepchildren.

 

Sigh. It's hard when you see others being blessed and you are not. I can go through a list of big things we've asked God for throughout our 35 years of being married and most of them He said no. He may have said it gently, but it was still no. He may have substituted something wonderful in it's place, but the original answer was still no.

 

Yes, we've been blessed too. Big blessings. Sweet small ones.

 

I spent a lot of time studying Joseph a few years ago. Whenever life isn't going the way *I* think it ought to, I love to read about Joseph. No whining (that's recorded anyway) and every time things were looking up for him, somebody would throw him in prison. Eventually Joseph had the happy ending we are all looking for.

 

Pray for your faith to be strengthened. Keep counting those blessings. Pour out your heart to God. He is listening.

 

Just a short while ago, I saw a cute sign that made me smile. Maybe it will help you, too.

 

'Of course God is sometimes silent. The teacher is always quiet when the student is taking a test.'

 

 

You are not alone. Keep praying and reading all the good stuff in the Bible!

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Yes. Actually, I call myself Job's wife sometimes. She was in the same pickle Job was (except for health), but grouched about it. That's more like me. :D

 

I've even said I feel like we are God's stepchildren.

 

Sigh. It's hard when you see others being blessed and you are not. I can go through a list of big things we've asked God for throughout our 35 years of being married and most of them He said no. He may have said it gently, but it was still no. He may have substituted something wonderful in it's place, but the original answer was still no.

 

Yes, we've been blessed too. Big blessings. Sweet small ones.

 

I spent a lot of time studying Joseph a few years ago. Whenever life isn't going the way *I* think it ought to, I love to read about Joseph. No whining (that's recorded anyway) and every time things were looking up for him, somebody would throw him in prison. Eventually Joseph had the happy ending we are all looking for.

 

Pray for your faith to be strengthened. Keep counting those blessings. Pour out your heart to God. He is listening.

 

Just a short while ago, I saw a cute sign that made me smile. Maybe it will help you, too.

 

'Of course God is sometimes silent. The teacher is always quiet when the student is taking a test.'

 

 

You are not alone. Keep praying and reading all the good stuff in the Bible!

 

Love this ... love the quote about the teacher and the thoughts on Joseph. I've thought the same things.

 

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20

 

Pour your heart out to God ... not only is He listening, he will respond. Sometimes when you least expect it.

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I spent a lot of time studying Joseph a few years ago. Whenever life isn't going the way *I* think it ought to, I love to read about Joseph. No whining (that's recorded anyway) and every time things were looking up for him, somebody would throw him in prison. Eventually Joseph had the happy ending we are all looking for.

 

:iagree: Meditating often on the story of Joseph is one of the few things that kept me from doing something stupid many years ago when mentally/emotionally I was at my worst. I even named my son Joseph 4 years ago. :D "God was with Joseph" - I keep telling myself that. Even though his life looked AWFUL, God was with Joseph, and Joseph was where he belonged in God's plan. I try to remind myself of that too - that my life is GOD's story and I'm just a bit player. :lol: It's not ABOUT me, it's about Him. He loves me and my life may be hard, but my eternity will be AWESOME. ;)

 

OP, many :grouphug::grouphug: to you. I also could have written your post. Different problems, but same feeling.

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This has been my life for 14 years. Some worse, none better.

I am tired.

 

Thanks, OP, for posting. Mine is 13 years - I am so very tired - I totally understand . . .

 

Thanks to all who have responded - I am remaining :bigear:

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Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I do know how you feel. My dd31 and her dh have been married for 8 years and it has been 7 years and 11 mos of what they now call their 'time of suffering.' For dh and me, it's been probably 6 years and 11 mos

-- I was in denial for a year. :( I wish there was something I could tell you or do to give you hope -- I can share this: “Never will I leave you;

never will I forsake you.†Hebrews 13-5

 

I have spent countless years praying constantly 'Lord have mercy.' I have also spent about 18 mos sitting in a chair staring across the room -- don't lose hope. please. I will be praying for you.:grouphug:

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No I haven't. Ive had my share of ups and downs but ive yet to lose all my children, earthly possessions, suffer terrible disease, etc... and btw the Bible never states even once that God didn't love Job, quite the opposite.

its not on the mountain tops, but in the valleys that we find our way.

Though the fig tree should not blossom, 17 nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; 18 I will take joy in the God of my salvation.Habakkuk 3

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I know that God exists and I truly want to please Him, and my faith in His existence has not wavered.

I just feel that He doesn't give a carp about me.

 

I do not feel that I will abandon my faith, but I do feel like the red-headed- step-child.

 

We have struggled for so long.

I want to stop fearing for the future.

 

I have been praying and praying and praying----for years-- no answer (good or bad).

 

We have good things, yes.

But really the only thing that has been blessed is our school, not our lives.

I don't know if I can continue to school if I cannot get the courage to face the day sometimes.

DH works and works and works.

We are broke and I am always alone.

There truly is only so much loneliness a person can take, so much separation and stress a marriage can take, so much silence my faith can take.

 

Why won't God talk to me?

Has He gone silent (like in between the testaments)

What have I done to make Him hate me?

What can I do to make it stop?

 

:grouphug: I just want to encourage you that God is speaking to you. I think many times we are expecting answers and He is saying,"Daughter, I love you. You are so preciouse to Me. Draw close to Me and I will wrap my arms of love around you. I am protecting you, I am keeping you. I desire relationship with you more than anything."

 

I am not saying that He doesn't give answers. I don't know where you personal time with Him daily is but that needs to be primary before other answers are going to be evident.

 

When I start feeling like I can't take One. More. Thing. and it has happened a lot in the last 8 yrs I look around and see the ones that are so much worse off than I am.

 

Praying that you receive what you are honestly seaking.

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Just to let everyone know:

I am reading everything including the pm's. I honestly don't know how to respond right now.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

 

I do have blessings.

I do reflect on them to keep myself going.

At some point (today) it just isn't enough.

I don't wish for the moon, just stability.

 

I won't stop growing in God if He lets things get better, I will just not have this paralyzing fear of tomorrow.

 

This has been my life for 14 years. Some worse, none better.

I am tired.

 

I understand being weary. I understand. Reality bites. There is always fear in tomorrow, even when things are going good. No one is promised tomorrow, we only get today. Some days I want to give it back.

 

Those mosquitoes of chaos nibble away and we are surprised the sun makes the effort to rise each day.

 

Life is hard. I am blessed, but I can list so many things that are slowly tearing me apart.

 

We've been watching Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles on DVD again. It made me smile because I feel like Sarah sometimes. I have one only child and he may not save us from judgment day, but he has a role to fill in this world. Some days I don't fall apart because he's my hope. He doesn't know this, I can't put the weight of the world on the shoulders of a 14 year old, but I see the purpose of getting up in the morning in him. Somedays I feel like I'm fighting off everything just to protect him enough to grow up and have a different kind of life. That we do discuss.

 

I think it is a superpower to get up each morning, put our feet on the floor, and try again.

 

I moved away from a church, from christians (in a sense), at least the way I viewed religion. Since that has happened, I view God differently. It's like I had to get all of that out of the way to see Him. The toughest things I've ever gone through have been turned around to use to encourage someone else. I still would have rather not went through, but I can't change it.

 

I'm not a pollyanna, in fact I'm turning into a bitter middle-aged woman who thinks the glass is bone dry (forget about half empty). But I hold hope in humanity, that even in my lonliness I serve a purpose.

 

My dh has had health and job issues for the last two years. We have one working car and I recently started working part-time online to even buy school books for the fall. Guess what? our Internet has been out 3 days in the last week. With one car I can't even walk anywhere to use Internet. So the one way I can financial contribute has been taken away this week, the week I told myself I'd work hard and finish ordering what I need I can't even earn money. It ticked me off and I've had a raging headache all day.

 

I'm sorry it's been hard. 14 years is a long time. It's okay to be weary, it's okay to whine, vent, hurt, cry, and mourn. It's not okay to quit trying, because somehow I believe this is not the end of your story. :grouphug:

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Returning to post again, now that I have had some time to think about you, OP.

:grouphug:

I was thinking what to reply, and then I was editing my signature, and I saw, of course-- Ecclesiastes. I love that book. There is a person who thought, often, that life was without meaning. And, "God has set eternity in the heart of man, yet in such a way that man can not grasp it." (my paraphrase) Yes, there are times when we can't see what the plan is, in fact most of the time we can't. The writer saw things going not the right way all around him, yet his final conclusion is that God is trustworthy and our duty was to fear him-- which I take to mean, obey him, respect him, and be in relationship with him.

This is not the same thing as feeling an emotional connection or a sense that our decisions are right and that we are being "led." Sometimes we don't feel like we are being led. Sometimes he lets us decide and gives us that freedom. And, our perseverance doesn't depend on our feelings.

As we've discussed recently in a thread about marriage, loving a person is not necessarily the same as "feeling like I'm in love". I think it is that way with God. It's not all emotional highs. Sometimes it's lows. But the relationship is still there.

:grouphug:

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I love my kids a lot, but I cannot save them from everything that the world has to throw at them. We have free will. So does everyone else in this world. That is a beautiful and dangerous thing. God loves you and He will take your walk with you, but he doesn't release us from the walk. There are burdens that I have to deal with, and those that are too big for me. Those are the things that I hand over to God because they aren't in my control.

 

But, I also look at: what is in my control. What is it that I want? How does my husband feel about that? Is there anything we can do to change our path? Even if it temporarily makes things harder? For example, my friend's dh is not happy in the military anymore. So, he gave her his GI Bill and she is going back to school to get her nursing degree. It meant putting the kids in school. But, in a few years they will be in a better position. I have another friend who went back to work part time so that her dh could take classes at the local cc. He received some sort of license after a year and was able to secure a better job. If what you are doing is not working for you *as a life*, then how can you change it? If you cannot change it, them how can you make things more tolerable? Friends? Outside classes? Hobbies?

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Job went through a lot, so no, I cannot compare my life to his. However, I have felt like the earth was going to crash in on me I was so burdened. That feeling comes at me less and less as I grow in my walk with Christ.

 

When I am going through rough times, I can remember the promises from God and that God doesn't bring the hardships onto us. In Isaiah 61, He promises beauty from ashes. Psalm 103 is a wonderful promises. Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 41:10 are both good, as well as Psalm 91. I never truly had a good understanding of God until about three years ago when I started truly seeking Him with my whole heart wanting more than just a one day a week relationship. The more I sought Him out, the more He revealed Himself to me. I read the bible and asked Him to give me understanding. He says if you ask, seek, and knock the door will be opened. I started asking and He flooded me with understanding in my heart, not only head knowledge, but a deep heart knowledge. My whole life has changed for the better and I have such joy and peace even in the most difficult situations now.

 

If you want some resources with good teachings, Google

Duane Sheriff Ministries. He has made available free teachings on his site for anyone seeking the Lord.

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  • 5 months later...

I hope you are feeling better...

I have enjoyed the experience of God's direction being as clear as a light switching on, however, that has by far been the exception rather than the rule. I have now learned that my expectation needed to change; often an answer does not meet our expectation so it is not recognized...

scripture assures us, God is always with us, ever loving, ever present; as in Job's story, he ALLOWS trial and will use evil for GOOD.... now freewill comes in to play and we MUST allow the work in us to be accomplished. Once God sets a course, stay the course until directed to change; sometimes we "think" God has given direction, but it was really self serving. Ground yourself in the word of God and it will be your strength as it is mine.

Life is hard (for some more than others) but He WILL NOT give us more than we can bare.

If you feel distant from God, I can assure you, He is NOT the one that has moved :)

I write this from the word that is hidden in my heart; if you would like specific quotes in scripture I would be glad to assist with that as well.

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So it sounds like your big disappointments in life right now are:

 

1. Poor financial situation, which means your husband is working very long hours.

2. These long hours mean you don't have enough time together to feel like your marriage is going well.

3. You might possibly be able to tolerate the loneliness caused by the long hours if you felt like your financial situation were improving. But since it isn't getting better, you feel frustrated.

4. The frustration is causing you to lose your hope that your DH will ever be able to reduce his hours enough for you two to reconnect.

5. It is unclear to me reading your post if you feel lonely in general or just lonely in your marriage.

 

Is this a good summary? I think if we can help you clearly define the specific things bothering you, then perhaps we can collectively brainstorm some ideas. It sounds like you need some hope in your life. Maybe we can help give you some.

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I forgot something. You mentioned about God not talking to you. Can you tell us a bit more about your beliefs in this area?

 

I ask because I've read about people that become indecisive because they've been taught that God has a specific plan for each and every decision in their life and it's up to them to wait around for him to tell them what to do. I don't think I know any Christians like this, but I've read that some people refuse to make a choice, paralyzed that their (not immoral) choice won't be part of "God's perfect plan" for them.

 

I tend to believe that God speaking specific directions to people about specific situations is rare for most (maybe all) Christians. Other than general feelings of "Yeah, I probably should do/not do this," I can really only say God has specifically told me to do something twice in nine years of being a Christian. The first time was about something very mundane (getting my baby to sleep that day) and the second was about a major decision.

 

I guess my point is that while I do believe God still speaks to people, I can't see from the Bible where regular Christians should expect it to happen often. I say all this just in case your expectations for hearing specifically from God are very high.

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