Susan in TN Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 My 3.5yos is a picky eater and getting pickier. In the last 4-6 months he has begun to refuse foods he used to eat regularly to the point that I know he's just not getting the nutrition he needs. In general, pickiness doesn't bother us much, but he's getting to an extreme point. Breakfast and lunches are usually not a problem; we have a fairly boring menu for those meals and he'll usually at least eat some of it. Dinner is the main issue, so for the past week, we've been insisting that he not leave the table until he takes at least one bite of dinner. If he hasn't eaten before 7pm, he has to go straight to bed, no snack, no toys, etc. I've been purposely making food that is tolerable and that he would eat a year ago (no liver and onions) but just not on his current eating list. Well, he's gone to bed hungry every night for a week, except one night when he ate 1/4 strand of spaghetti. I know he's hungry. He's begging for waffles with cream cheese and telling us he's hungry. So my question is, how long do we keep this up? It doesn't bother me except that if he's not actually learning to eat his dinner, it seems kind of pointless. Is there another route we should try intead? I've considered bringing out his dinner for breakfast, but I honestly don't know if he'd get the connection (he doesn't communicate very well, so it's hard for me to tell.) Or should we go with dh's preference which is to just feed him Dino Nuggets from Sam's Club or waffles with cream cheese for every meal until he's older and we can communicate with him better? (On a positive note, at lunch today he took a bite of his banana which normally would have been refused. :)) Quote
Ashleen Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 he doesn't communicate very well, so it's hard for me to tell. Is it possible that he has an autism spectrum disorder? My ten year old son on the spectrum would have starved to death if we'd insisted his only choice is what we're having for dinner or nothing at all. For a neurotypical child, you might keep doing what you're doing, but if he's on the autism spectrum, you may have to provide him another option. I don't make two dinners, but if my older son absolutely won't eat dinner, he can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of soy milk. Not ideal, but his list of "absolutely will not eats" includes almost everything the rest of us like, and we can't have spaghetti with no sauce every night to accomodate him. Quote
Jen500 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 My ds3 has had some eating issues. I try not to make a big deal over his eating/not eating at mealtimes. I provide the food, and he decides if and how much he'll eat. If he doesn't eat dinner I offer him a nutritous (or somewhat nutritious) snack before bed. I do try to place something on the table at dinner that I know he's likely to eat. So dinnertime is much more pleasant for all of us. Quote
Dinsfamily Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I've been through this with my oldest when he was 3. We forced him to eat a certain amount of dinner (a few bites of each dish) and made him sit there until bedtime. Then he would go to bed without snacks or playing with dad if he hadn't eaten his food. He was VERY resistant for awhile, but we didn't give in. My ods is very verbal and we knew he understood what was going on. We never did the dinner for breakfast thing, but only because I didn't want the hassle of saving the food. After a long time (months possibly), the whining lessened and he started eating with less drama. It just took him awhile to realize we were serious. However, I will say that when he turned 4, he became a different child in the eating department. He got hungry all of a sudden. Being hungry has made him much less picky and he even declared that he loved green beans last night (WHAT??). After so many fights over green beans, I was so happy to hear that statement, yet I'm not sure where it came from. He is now eating all of my dinners with VERY little fuss. I'm not sure if it is maturity or his growth spurts that caused it, but it has made meal time more pleasant. With all that said, I think you should keep at it if you think your ds can understand the consequences for his actions. I think it will pay off in the end. Quote
gardening momma Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Does he understand the concept of "if you do this, then you can have that"? My 2.5 yo dd has just recently grasped this concept. She was a very picky eater also. And it wasn't necessarily that she was picky about what kind of food she ate, she just didn't eat--even foods I knew she liked. She has finally begun to understand and comply when I say, "take a bite of your food, and then you can have this"--"this" might be a piece of dinner roll, or at lunch I might even go as far as offer an M&M or a mini marshmallow--it's the dangling carrot that moves her toward obedience. As she becomes accostomed to eating her food when she's told, the requirements will increase--perhaps 2 bites, 3 bites--and the rewards will phase out until the offer may only be dessert when she finishes her meal. (we don't do much desserts--our dds think dessert is a package of fruit snacks or a similar amount of M&Ms or mini marshmallows or a cookie). I don't make it a habit of offering candy at every meal...she does eat now more than she did, and she doesn't get incentives offered if she eats as she's supposed to. Quote
Adrianne Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I would pick a schedule and meals and stick to it. It sounds like he is getting the message if he is trying new foods. With our boys I offer healthy food at every meal and they must eat what they are given or no snack or dessert. Now, I try to make the meals something they have eaten and liked. I don't serve cabbage on purpose just to make a point. and if they prefer uncooked veggies, I serve them instead of cooked. At 3 you are setting the stage for what he will eat later on when he is older. n the last 4-6 months he has begun to refuse foods he used to eat regularly This is pretty normal around my place. One week they love broccoli, the next they hate it. I think it is a cycle with kids. I still require them to eat it though.......:001_smile: Breakfast and lunches are usually not a problem My ds 5 did not eat much dinner around this age either. All he wanted was pasta. If he eats these meals then I would try to load him up with healthy food during these meals and then do not worry about dinner. My ds5 lived on peanut butter and other nuts during this time for lunch. I've been purposely making food that is tolerable and that he would eat a year ago (no liver and onions) but just not on his current eating list. This sounds like a great plan - stick to it! Everything I have read about kids and food (including my grandmom's advice) says that kids need to be exposed to a food at least 10 to 15 times before they starting liking it. This has worked very well in my family esp with veggies. He's begging for waffles with cream cheese and telling us he's hungry. My response would be - if you are hungry then eat dinner! I would have his favorites maybe once a week just to make him happy and show him I love him. (we have my favorites and dh favorites once a week too!) I've considered bringing out his dinner for breakfast, but I honestly don't know if he'd get the connection He is too young to make that connection. (On a positive note, at lunch today he took a bite of his banana which normally would have been refused. Yeah for him!!!!! Good luck, this is a hard issue but from my experience with my 2 boys, making them eat fair meals regularly and not giving them what they want all the time has paid off. They both are very healthy eaters! Quote
Kris Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 My 3.5yos is a picky eater and getting pickier. In the last 4-6 months he has begun to refuse foods he used to eat regularly to the point that I know he's just not getting the nutrition he needs. Or should we go with dh's preference which is to just feed him Dino Nuggets from Sam's Club or waffles with cream cheese for every meal until he's older and we can communicate with him better? I've never had a picky eater, so I don't know the answer to the question. But it does occur to me that if your main concern is his nutritional needs, nuggets, waffles and cream cheese won't help with that -- they'll just fill him up. :-) Good luck!!!! Quote
Guest kacifl Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Isn't much of an eater. I would make sure we had on hand, the foods that he will eat. Frozen peas, raw cabbage, carrots, raisins, oranges, nitrate free hotdogs, hamburgers certain soups... all of these only eaten occasionally. He is adopted and his bio parents are: mom 5'11" and skinny, dad 6'5" and skinny. This is why I don't worry too much. However, last week he fainted while sitting outside in our Florida heat. He was under a shade tree. He was out for three minutes and looked dead!! I rushed him to the doctor. Dr. thinks it was the heat. And, by the way, the dr. didn't think he was under-fed. I have come up with a new plan: No tv, toys, etc. until he eats. I don't fill his plate at all. Just little of this and little of that. Today, he wanted to play with his friends, but I told him he had to eat an apple and some cheese first. So far, this seems to be working. Quote
melissel Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I know I'm in the teeny (TEEEEENY) minority here, but I think you're setting up a battle of wills that doesn't need to be fought. I don't believe in forcing a kid to eat, especially not in order to have something more desirable or less healthy as a reward. I think kids should be taught to trust their body's signals regarding appetites and hunger. Of course, that doesn't mean that you have to give in to the insistence on waffles and cream cheese! I offer healthy options and let both my girls follow their instincts regarding their food. My DD5 (almost 6) goes through phases where she eats everything under the sun and won't stop asking for food, and then she goes through the next phase where she's extremely picky and eats like a bird. My toddler, on the other hand, will only eat one big meal per day. It's usually dinner, but it can vary. The other meals she'll eat almost nothing. If what you're dealing with were happening here, my approach would be to provide healthy food and snacks throughout the day, making a little muffin tray of healthy food (a few carrots and dip, some cooked kidney beans, a couple of peapods, a healthy mini-muffin, a couple of apple slices, a few broccoli florets, etc.), that I'd leave on the table throughout the day. If he asked me for other (i.e., more fun, junky) food, I'd direct him to the snack tray. When dinner came, if he didn't want what was on his plate, I wouldn't make him eat it, but if he came back to me looking for something else, he'd be handed his dinner plate again, to eat or not eat. Assuming he's not on the spectrum or doesn't have something else going on (SID, etc.), he won't starve himself to death. For better or worse, that's how I'd handle it. Quote
melissel Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I have come up with a new plan: No tv, toys, etc. until he eats. I don't fill his plate at all. Just little of this and little of that. Today, he wanted to play with his friends, but I told him he had to eat an apple and some cheese first. So far, this seems to be working. Can I ask though (and I'm not trying to be snarky, I swear), if he's not hungry, why would you insist that he eat something? I guess I don't understand the thinking around why you'd push someone to override their hunger instinct. I feel like most of the people in this country have forgotten how to pay attention to their actual appetite (myself included, yeesh), so I work hard at reminding my kids to notice when they're truly full or truly hungry. Sorry, like I said, I know my way of thinking is highly unusual here :D Quote
Jen500 Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I know I'm in the teeny (TEEEEENY) minority here, but I think you're setting up a battle of wills that doesn't need to be fought. I totally agree with you...I think you just said it better! When my ds first started having issues I read a great book about feeding kids...Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, by Ellyn Satter. It was very helpful for us and her ideas just made sense too. I have a very strong-willed son and there is no way I can force him to eat something. He does eat a variety of foods now. Ususally he sees us eating it and after a while he decides to try it too. Quote
amy g. Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 I agree with not forcing the issue. Here is what I would do: Get rid of all food in the house that is not nutritious. That way, he is free to eat anything he chooses. Every afternoon, I make a big smoothie with homemade yogurt, local honey, and frozen fruit. I'd offer him a bite, but not insist he try it. I'd also get him a multi vitamin, which should ease your mind at least. I would really turn all responsibility for his eating over to him for a couple of months at least to see what happened. I never make kids eat something they don't like, but waffles and chicken nuggets would not be choice my kids would have. Quote
kRenee Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 Ashleen brought up the possibility of autism and I just wanted to clarify that it isn't just autistism that might cause a child to be extremely picky - there is also a condition called sensory integration disorder that caused children to reject certain textures. If the condition is really bad the child simply won't eat and will have underweight and growth issues as a result. This is real, it can and does change during a person's lifetime and you can get help from a qualified occupational therapist. Quote
MicheleB Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Ashleen brought up the possibility of autism and I just wanted to clarify that it isn't just autistism that might cause a child to be extremely picky - there is also a condition called sensory integration disorder that caused children to reject certain textures. If the condition is really bad the child simply won't eat and will have underweight and growth issues as a result. This is real, it can and does change during a person's lifetime and you can get help from a qualified occupational therapist. :iagree: My 9yo ds has become increasingly picky about his food and other things as well (clothing, touching wet things, etc., etc). If he has a choice between eating something that bothers him texture-wise, he will go hungry. That's when I realized it was more than just "pickiness"; that he was willing to go hungry instead of try something or eat something he found extremely distasteful or not pleasing to his senses. My ds was a big gagger even as a baby trying baby food. I think now it had to do with this whole sensory integration thing... For *me*, if my child chose to go hungry (when I knew he was truly hungry) more than once or twice, it would make me take a second look at what the problem could be. Now, all that to say: when my youngest dd was 3, all she wanted to eat was hot dog rolls and bread. I finally quit buying bread products. She did eat the things I offered her, then. So.... like someone else suggested, it could be a matter of keeping certain things out of the house. And I agree as well that it shouldn't become a battle of wills. :) Quote
ticklbee Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 At 3.5 yo, he is way too young to be taking responsibility for his own eating choices imo. I am a very firm believer in the parents being in charge...not the kids. BUT, I don't think it needs to be a huge battle either. You sit down as a family for dinner, your 3.5 yo gets his plate of food (which would be a very small portion). Then I wouldn't mention it again. At the end of the meal, everything is cleaned up and his plate of food goes in the fridge if he hasn't eaten it. Later, if he says he's hungry, out comes his plate of food. If he doesn't want it you nicely say that this is all you have for him. I wouldn't offer anything else. If he doesn't want it, put it back in the fridge. (I personally wouldn't take it out again for breakfast...I would just discard it in the a.m.) If you are consistent, as another poster said - he will learn. It just may take time. I think the biggest key is too not make a big deal out of it. Quote
lighthouseacademy Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I know I'm in the teeny (TEEEEENY) minority here, but I think you're setting up a battle of wills that doesn't need to be fought. I don't believe in forcing a kid to eat, especially not in order to have something more desirable or less healthy as a reward. I think kids should be taught to trust their body's signals regarding appetites and hunger. Of course, that doesn't mean that you have to give in to the insistence on waffles and cream cheese! I offer healthy options If he asked me for other (i.e., more fun, junky) food, I'd direct him to the snack tray. When dinner came, if he didn't want what was on his plate, I wouldn't make him eat it, but if he came back to me looking for something else, he'd be handed his dinner plate again, to eat or not eat. ... he won't starve himself to death. For better or worse, that's how I'd handle it. I agree. You don't need a battle of wills. I did figure out that my kids were skipping dinner (yes at 3ish) to get to breakfast of cold cereal and then downing a box in one sitting between the 2 of them. It was a healthy whole grain, no sugar cereal but it still was cereal. As a result, I banned cereal from my house for a while to help them expand their horizons. If the cereal wasn't in the house, they couldn't ask for it (or rather they could but it wasn't there so the point was moot.) I also agree if your nutrition is a concern, waffles, cream cheese, and nuggets aren't giving him most of his vitamins and minerals. He is getting lots of fat, carbs, and some protein but the micro nutrients are missing. There are days my 4 yr old picks at everything like a bird. There are days where she eats 3/4 of the dinner prepared for 5 people! I let them listen to their bodies but I only offer healthy foods. Yes, there have been times my 4 yr old has chosen to skip 3 meals entirely before she was hungry. Then she returned to eating more normally. If the unhealthy choice is not available, children will find alternatives. Offer a variety and keep offering it even if it is rejected. I have heard that I child needs to be offered something up to a dozen or more times before it is recognized and tried and eventually liked. Quote
Susan in TN Posted July 8, 2008 Author Posted July 8, 2008 :glare: I have tried every "kid friendly" multivitamin under the sun - won't even touch the gummy ones. He will, however, drink juice; so I'm buying the most fortified juice I can find, and sneaking a bit of vegetable juice into it :D. Tonight he ate a small bite of spaghetti so he could go on the family walk - but he was desperate. One downside to our "arrangement" is that someone has to stay at the table with him until he eats or until bedtime, which is annoying. I think I like the idea of just clearing the table and saving his food for later (when he asks for waffles :tongue_smilie:). One concern I have is when we go out of town and have to eat at other people's homes or a restaurant (which is not often). I really suffer from a great deal of shame and guilt for having a child who is so picky and is not afraid to let you know about it. My other kids are "good" eaters. But I feel (maybe overly) protective of him, because he is just a very active child and likes to run and jump and whoop - he's not behaving badly, but...well, you know the "looks" I get sometimes. I don't think he's on the Autism spectrum, and I don't think he has SID, but I may look into that more. Again, thanks for your input. I really feel better about the whole thing already. Quote
Athena Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Everyone here already said everything I would say so here is a cute story for you. My sis had the first kid in the family a much gushed over, adorable, strong, stubborn little girl. Who refused @ 3yo to eat. Anything. DSis got scared and took my dniece to the doc who handed the girl a lollipop. DN stuck it in her mouth. Doc said, "She's fine. She'll eat when she gets hungry." I just remember that being so cute and funny! Stand gently firm and you will get through it. Blessings, Christy Quote
amy g. Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 I understand why some think that a 3.5 year old is too young to make his own food choices. I have a one year old who chooses what and when to eat. It is not a big deal, because we only buy food that we feel good about her eating. Some days she only eats a couple of bites the whole day. The next day, she will eat 3 eggs in one sitting. Everywhere I go, people comment on how healthy my older kids' food choices are, so for me this policy has really paid off. Even my daughter who is on the autism spectrum chooses a wide variety of food without any input from me. I'd quit buying waffles. If he asks for them, you can honestly tell him that you don't have any. After awhile, you might try letting him help you make healthy waffles with lots of milk and eggs and whole wheat flour. If other people comment, I'd just say, "Oh, I don't believe in making an issue about food." and try to laugh like you aren't concerned about it at all. I'm really not a permissive parent, but sometimes focusing on behaviors you don't want can backfire, and really make the situation worse than it was. That's my 2 cents for what it is worth. Quote
Guest kacifl Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Someone asked:[Can I ask though (and I'm not trying to be snarky, I swear), if he's not hungry, why would you insist that he eat something?QUOTE] I would never force my son to eat. This is usually when he hasn't eaten a thing for hours. And I did mention that it isn't much. If I cut up an apple, it was perhaps half. There isn't much to a piece of cheese. I am very careful about the 'clean your plate' mentality. I always give my children small servings and they'll ask for more if they want to. K Quote
Joanne Posted July 8, 2008 Posted July 8, 2008 It's too late for my family, and possibly for the OP, but here is what I would do if I were to do it over again. I'd never introduce "kid menu" items to my kids. I would not do chicken nuggets, pizza, chicken noodle soup, hot dogs. I'd offer them real, adult food and they could eat. Or not. I do, mostly, agree with the Ellen Satter books. However, I don't think they acknowledge what I see as the reality that kids menu foods deaden the palate and change craving for real, more nourishing foods. I think that the prevalence of those foods in kids diets has a direct and significant impact on the (what I see as) increasing number of picky eaters. Mine included. why would you insist that he eat something? I guess I don't understand the thinking around why you'd push someone to override their hunger instinct. I'm not a clean your plate mom. I'm not even one that insists a child has "at least one bite of everything". But I can answer your question. One of my 3 is very sensitive to blood sugar issues. If that child doesn't *eat*, the rest of us suffer. You'd better believe that I insist he eats because his body gets into a mode where he refuses food but needs it. Quote
Susan in TN Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Some of you may remember my past post on my 3.5yods, who was getting pickier by the week. We had decided to try making him eat at least one bit of his meal before he could leave the table. Well, we stuck with that for a week, and finally decided to try another route. We started serving "dinner" crackers or breadsticks (sometimes just oyster crackers) in a nice bowl or basket at meals. Sure enough, ds was more than happy to spend dinner time with us at the table, eating his crackers. "Pease pass the cwackers" was the first thing we heard after prayer :). Lo and behold, a couple days later, he ASKED for some lettuce salad with ranch dressing. He didn't touch it, but he wanted it on his plate. The next day, he asked for carrots (didn't eat them - only took a lick, but it's a start.) Tonight, he actually ate some baked chicken that was NOT dino nuggets from Sam's club and said "mmmmm, dat's DOOOOOOD!" ("that's good" - very high praise from him.) We can see that he is enjoying dinner time with us, and we are enjoying our more pleasant meals with him. :) Thank you for all your kind words and advice. Quote
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 That's great, Susan. I'm glad that you found something that worked with your little one. I'm glad that you are all enjoying your meals! Quote
NevadaRabbit Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I know I'm in the teeny (TEEEEENY) minority here, but I think you're setting up a battle of wills that doesn't need to be fought. I don't believe in forcing a kid to eat, especially not in order to have something more desirable or less healthy as a reward. I think kids should be taught to trust their body's signals regarding appetites and hunger. Of course, that doesn't mean that you have to give in to the insistence on waffles and cream cheese! I offer healthy options and let both my girls follow their instincts regarding their food. My DD5 (almost 6) goes through phases where she eats everything under the sun and won't stop asking for food, and then she goes through the next phase where she's extremely picky and eats like a bird. My toddler, on the other hand, will only eat one big meal per day. It's usually dinner, but it can vary. The other meals she'll eat almost nothing. If what you're dealing with were happening here, my approach would be to provide healthy food and snacks throughout the day, making a little muffin tray of healthy food (a few carrots and dip, some cooked kidney beans, a couple of peapods, a healthy mini-muffin, a couple of apple slices, a few broccoli florets, etc.), that I'd leave on the table throughout the day. If he asked me for other (i.e., more fun, junky) food, I'd direct him to the snack tray. When dinner came, if he didn't want what was on his plate, I wouldn't make him eat it, but if he came back to me looking for something else, he'd be handed his dinner plate again, to eat or not eat. Assuming he's not on the spectrum or doesn't have something else going on (SID, etc.), he won't starve himself to death. For better or worse, that's how I'd handle it. :iagree: joining your teeny minority - I don't believe this is a hill to die on. Provide healthy foods, but a battle of wills can sure turn into a head-butting contest. Just a thought - my picky eater (age 9) has sensory issues. She is very sensitive to food textures, has a hard time accurately recognizing hunger, and says she is stuffed full after literally a few bites. While I can't force her to eat anything, she is learning the signs of "running out of gas", she is doing better with food choices, and while the control freak in me wants her to have broccoli and hummus, I have to be content with slowly teaching her what is better for her body. Quote
threetreasurs Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I have one picky eater, my third and I did let her eat an awful lot of chicken nuggets and pbj sandwiches.<g> Quote
cindyinTexas Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 One important thing to remember is that if they do not like a specific item now, does not mean they will not develop a palate for it later. If often hear parents say "Oh they don't eat that" I think after the child hears that enough he believes he will never like it. I would never force my children to eat a specific item, but would make them available. I now have two children who will even eat brussel sprouts. Quote
NevadaRabbit Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 One important thing to remember is that if they do not like a specific item now, does not mean they will not develop a palate for it later. If often hear parents say "Oh they don't eat that" I think after the child hears that enough he believes he will never like it. Don't tell that to my husband. He tasted [broccoli, asparagus, roast beef, steamed fish, avocado, etc, etc, ad infinitum] once and didn't like it. And it shall never passeth his lips again. (aside from quirky eating, he is a fabulous fellow!) Quote
threetreasurs Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 My two eldest would try and eat anything. The third was different! She is still picky at 13 (almost 14) but she is starting to branch out. We kept joking that she could write a book comparing chicken tenders at all the restaurants because that is all she ordered for a couple of years. Quote
SnowWhite Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I have one suggestion that has not been offered- Increase your toddler's physical activity. I have noticed a TREMENDOUS difference in the level of pickiness for my boys (who are very picky) when they are spending a couple of hours in the pool every day. They actually come in starving and want me to fix supper immediately. They eat "chicken meat" and "roast beef" and other things that would always be torture at any other time. One thing I do (because I refuse to have a battle over food) is to intentionally include something the toddler will eat at supper. Like rolls, yogurt, or watermelon. If he won't eat what's on the table I do allow him a healthy snack, like a banana or grapes. I've also found I can help him by adjusting the food a bit... he'll eat spaghetti if I put only a touch of sauce... it's a sensory thing. He hates the feel of the gooey sauce. He eats raw carrots, but not cooked ones... he doesn't like the feel of the mushy cooked carrot. It also helps if he's not over-tired. He's at a stage where he sometimes naps, sometimes not. On the "not" days he's less likely to eat well. Quote
threetreasurs Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I have one suggestion that has not been offered- One thing I do (because I refuse to have a battle over food) is to intentionally include something the toddler will eat at supper. Like rolls, yogurt, or watermelon. Great advice - it has been awhile so I sometimes forget - but that is something that I also tried to do. Makes meals more pleasant for all! Quote
FO4UR Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 My 3.5yos is a picky eater and getting pickier. In the last 4-6 months he has begun to refuse foods he used to eat regularly to the point that I know he's just not getting the nutrition he needs. In general, pickiness doesn't bother us much, but he's getting to an extreme point. Breakfast and lunches are usually not a problem; we have a fairly boring menu for those meals and he'll usually at least eat some of it. Dinner is the main issue, so for the past week, we've been insisting that he not leave the table until he takes at least one bite of dinner. If he hasn't eaten before 7pm, he has to go straight to bed, no snack, no toys, etc. I've been purposely making food that is tolerable and that he would eat a year ago (no liver and onions) but just not on his current eating list. Well, he's gone to bed hungry every night for a week, except one night when he ate 1/4 strand of spaghetti. I know he's hungry. He's begging for waffles with cream cheese and telling us he's hungry. So my question is, how long do we keep this up? It doesn't bother me except that if he's not actually learning to eat his dinner, it seems kind of pointless. Is there another route we should try intead? I've considered bringing out his dinner for breakfast, but I honestly don't know if he'd get the connection (he doesn't communicate very well, so it's hard for me to tell.) Or should we go with dh's preference which is to just feed him Dino Nuggets from Sam's Club or waffles with cream cheese for every meal until he's older and we can communicate with him better? (On a positive note, at lunch today he took a bite of his banana which normally would have been refused. :)) I didn't read all of the replies so forgive me if I repeat. I have a picky eater, and we found out at 3yo that he has life-threatening allergies to nuts (and mild allergies to several other foods). That explained a WHOLE LOT of his issues. A dc who can't communicate can't tell you if his mouth literally burns/itches/swells from a food - he just turns his head and refuses kwim. Same kid (ornery thing)....we found foods we KNOW he is NOT allergic to, and we stick to our guns about eating them. If he refuses for dinner, we have wrapped his plate and put in the fridge to serve for breakfast the next morning. He missed a playdate with his friend b/c he sat at the breakfast table until 11am until he finished last night's dinner. fwiw - If my picky eater knows he can hold out for cereal or pancakes in the morning, he will.:glare: So, rule out any good reasons that he might be refusing the food, and then be firm. It does help to serve a rotation of the same (healthy) foods every week - for lunch at least. Chicken nuggets and waffles.....my ds would be in heaven:lol: Quote
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