ktgrok Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 So, my mom was in town, and took my sister and I shopping yesterday. (sister is also 30 weeks pregnant). That was fun, and nothing was said about my impending home birth, so I felt great. (last time they were REALLY rough on me about it). So today my mom took us out for lunch, then we met my hubby and 2 year old at Ikea. In the car between Cheesecake Factory and Ikea I was told by my mom that I need to start thinking of weaning (she is 2 years, 4 months old). And my sister chimed in and said why not just give her a pacifier. (I just replied she doesn't like them anyway...I wish I'd said that my breast is much better for her, but of course I didn't think of it). Then my sister went on and on about how she's weaning her daughter from the pacifier because she's just "too old". (her daughter is 9 months younger than mine...the implication being my daughter is too old to nurse.) My mom said that it could cause problems with Molly being jealous of the baby, etc. I just said "I'm not worried about it, it will all work out." My son nursed until 3.5 years old, so I'm not sure why they expected me to wean earlier this time. Oh, and my sister started saying (in a falsely casual way), that she is scoping out what stores have private places to change and/or nurse a baby. (she thinks it is weird that I nurse in public) I said, well, I know Ikea at least has changing tables, plus those cool little kid sinks for toddlers in the bathrooms. She replied, yes, but they don't have anywhere to nurse. Keep in mind, I've nursed my daughter there before, WITH my sister there. She's SEEN me nurse there! I just replied "well, they're Swedish, I'm sure they expect people to nurse anywhere without worrying about it." I know this is all silly, but I just wanted to vent, and get past it. Why on earth would it be better to give my child a piece of rubber rather than my breast? Why are my breasts up for discussion at all???? Ugh. Plus she was whiny the whole time at Ikea, about the crowds, the size of the store, telling my mother to hurry up, etc, when the idea was it was my Mom's first trip to an Ikea and we were there to just browse and have fun. She kept telling my mom to hurry, which I found really rude. that's all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Go to LLL meeting and vent away to women who understand. My family has long given up making comments. I've worn them down. :lol: My oldest ds was only 6 months old when my fil asked me when I was going to wean him. My response was,"When he grows a mustache." That was it. Fil has never ever brought it up again. My parents have mostly asked questions with underlying implications but they've stopped. They were more "concerned" about co-sleeping, and they have stopped bringing that up too. I tend to get stern and when needed down right forceful to make people shut up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 :grouphug: Some people are just that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Oh, and my sister started saying (in a falsely casual way), that she is scoping out what stores have private places to change and/or nurse a baby. :grouphug: Sorry you felt insulted, but it's still okay for there to be private nursing areas for babies. Some are highly distracted or gymnastic, and some mothers use various equipment (pumps, n!pple shields, whatever) or need quiet to let down. Some women are just not comfortable shopping and nursing at the same time, and that's okay too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 :grouphug: There is a girl a work who makes comments about breastfeeding every time I excuse myself to go pump. Things like..."that is so nasty", "that must hurt", "how long are you gonna nurse this one?", "my son had formula and he's just fine" etc etc. I do my best to spew facts about the benefits of breastfeeding but it really is useless. So I resort to "Pass the bean dip"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: Sorry you felt insulted, but it's still okay for there to be private nursing areas for babies. Some are highly distracted or gymnastic, and some mothers use various equipment (pumps, n!pple shields, whatever) or need quiet to let down. Some women are just not comfortable shopping and nursing at the same time, and that's okay too. OH, I totally agree. My son went through that phase and it was AWFUL. I think is great to have areas like that. I even tried to go along with the conversation, and mentioned how the Science Center has a new break area for nursing moms. But when she went on and on, trust me, she was trying ot say that is where women SHOULD nurse. (and she has no idea about the gymnastic phase anyway, she only nursed for a week with her last one due to a variety of factors. I'm honestly glad she is planning to nurse longer this time, hopefully. Edited July 1, 2012 by ktgrok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Just think what a great role model you will be for her daughter. I had a "friend" who always had a comment about my messy house, too many kids, attachment parenting, and breastfeeding. Her own daughter grew up idolizing me and is now raising her daughters how she saw my children being raised. I try not to be too smug about it, because I know how miserable it makes my "friend". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 :grouphug: Once my MIL asked me when I was going to wean my son and I cheerfully replied that he will be weaned by the time he is in college so I was not really that worried about it :lol: She called the next day and apologized. You could have knocked me over with a feather! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 :grouphug: For the record, I think Ikea is a great place to nurse. Couches everywhere! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 :grouphug: For the record, I think Ikea is a great place to nurse. Couches everywhere! :) LOL, that is exactly what my husband said when I told him about the conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 1, 2012 Author Share Posted July 1, 2012 Just think what a great role model you will be for her daughter. I had a "friend" who always had a comment about my messy house, too many kids, attachment parenting, and breastfeeding. Her own daughter grew up idolizing me and is now raising her daughters how she saw my children being raised. I try not to be too smug about it, because I know how miserable it makes my "friend". That is probably the coolest way to look at it!!! I love that, thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I am sorry they are being so critical. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 :grouphug: BTDT It sounds like nursing is a pass the bean dip topic for your family. Like 99% of parenting related things it is with mine too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 You are ELIMINATING jealousy with the new baby!! Tandem nursing was THE BEST possible thing I did for my two. There is a bond you cannot describe. I could go on and on about the benefit but you already know. And this not intended to give any ill feelings to anyone who does not btw.....just saying from one nursing mama to another ;) My FIL told me he had never heard of anyone nursing a two year old when I was nursing mine. Some people just don't know what to say. I used to be annoying and offended but I just don't care anymore. And on the "private" nursing. What the heck? I nurse anywhere mine were hungry or needed it. I expected public nursing manners from toddler, and had no problems with that either. Of course I got all sorts of weird looks but whatever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 (edited) if I may make a suggestion - learn to say "I'm an experienced mom. I have made my choices about what I feel is best for my children. sister is free to make different choices about what she feels is best for her children. The discussion is over." :leaving: fact is, they aren't going to agree with you. it's a waste of time to argue the point. I had one kid who loved a binky :001_wub:(she only nursed to live, and weaned herself. she was *extremely* particular about her binky and if she didn't have it:eek:, she chewed her fingers so I kept replacing it. when at 3 1/2 she didn't stick her fingers in her mouth, I didn't replace it.) and kids who thought I was their binky. :glare:I also had kids who didn't care one way or another. (when I weaned them, they didn't care.) they're all different. I will ask, please be discrete in nursing. I nursed all five of mine for longer than standard, but I don't care to watch other women doing so. (especially exhibition style.) Edited July 1, 2012 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenbrdsly Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 :grouphug: For the record, I think Ikea is a great place to nurse. Couches everywhere! :) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 2, 2012 Author Share Posted July 2, 2012 if I may make a suggestion - learn to say "I'm an experienced mom. I have made my choices about what I feel is best for my children. sister is free to make different choices about what she feels is best for her children. The discussion is over." :leaving: fact is, they aren't going to agree with you. it's a waste of time to argue the point. Oh, I didn't argue, and I never do. It makes no difference. I just try to get out of the conversation gracefully. But saying "this is not for discussion has never gone well, and has actually led to my sister or mother crying - over my birth choices, not nursing, but same difference. I will ask, please be discrete in nursing. I nursed all five of mine for longer than standard, but I don't care to watch other women doing so. (especially exhibition style.) I honestly have no idea what that means. I nurse where I am, when baby needs to feed. I don't cover with a blanket or one of those giant covers, as I figure that screams "I'm nursing a baby over here". I do cover my breast with my shirt. Never did figure out if that counted as discreet or not...but either way, rest assured, you won't have to see my nipple. Of course, yoiu could always avert your eyes away from my chest...won't see anything that way anyway. In fact, even when I'm nursing I prefer people not stare at my chest. Eye contact is much nicer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 My SIL ( who fortunately lives on the other side of the world) told me , as I was breastfeeding, that breastfeeding reminds her of a mother pig!. I replied that I am a mammal!. I don't think she had ever met an Australian before, and I think she didn't understand my accent very well. Lets just say I wasn't very impressed with my in laws and have declined to travel to Canada again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 2, 2012 Author Share Posted July 2, 2012 My SIL ( who fortunately lives on the other side of the world) told me , as I was breastfeeding, that breastfeeding reminds her of a mother pig!. I replied that I am a mammal!. I don't think she had ever met an Australian before, and I think she didn't understand my accent very well. Lets just say I wasn't very impressed with my in laws and have declined to travel to Canada again. LOL, at least she didn't call me a pig! And when I'm with my family I try to not put myself in a position where I need to nurse in public, just to avoid these issues. Having it brought up when it wasn't happening just surprised me. My daughter only nurses twice a day, so nursing in public isn't an issue anymore, and the baby isn't born yet, so I figured we wouldn't be discussing nursing on this trip! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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