WWYD? Preschooler Friendship - bit long.

[Tohru]

I have (what used to be) a very social, sweet, and considerate 4yo little girl.

 

We don't have very many people we hang out with...in fact, we've been pretty unsocial for awhile. A few months ago, I found a wonderful pair of ladies that have been getting together every week with their boys for years. There is also a cute little 4yo girl that comes every week too.

 

I absolutely love hanging out with the woman, especially since I haven't had female friends to hang out with in awhile. My son enjoys the time with the other boys, but doesn't really care one way or the other if he sees them. Although I think he really needs to be more social and I love that he has this time with other people his age.

 

My dilemma is caused by my 4yo.

 

She is so social and wants to play and be friends with the other little girl, however the other little girl is, well, kind of grumpy and would rather be left alone. So when we get together, the little girls end up arguing or watching movies. (TV isn't something we let our children spend much time doing.)

This is the only friend she has and she's always excited to see the other girl, but the feeling has not been reciprocated.

 

In the past few weeks I've noticed my daughter has been getting sassy and a bit mean. Her imaginary play has turned into a lot of bickering. (Our family does not bicker. We are pretty peaceful here.) Anyway, I don't know if it's because of the influence from her friendship, something she picked up watching those movies, or if it is just a phase children go through.

 

I guess I just need to know, what would you do?

Would you stop seeing the women because the experience for your daughter is negative? I do value my daughter and her character over the friendships.

Or would you continue to get together because you like the women and its probably good for your other child and the attitude issue may just a preschooler phase?

 

Thanks so much for reading this far. Any advice or opinions are appreciated.

[Momma H]

I have a smilar situation. The girl in our case is just mean. She is just a mean kid. Sometimes she is nice and over times she snubs, gives dirty looks and all that lovely stuff. I have seen my sweet, kind, confident daughter turn into a whiny little girl who thinks everyone is being mean to her.

I wish I had concrete answers. We role-play. We coach. We discipline. We encourage. She is slowly (really slowly) coming around. If you can get more nicer kid's for her to hang around with, do it! I wish I had more time. Gotta go put kid's down for bed. Pm me if you want!!

[Seeker]

I think that young children should spend most of their play time with other children who bring out the best of both until they are mature enough to be with others yet not be influenced by them in undesirable ways. I am not saying these children cannot have time together, just that perhaps it should be limited.

[Reflections]

I would limit time with this little girl. :grouphug::grouphug:

[5LittleMonkeys]

I wouldn't continue unless it's mutually beneficial for all involved. Is there another time you could visit with the women alone? An evening get together when your dh, or family member could watch your dc? :grouphug: I know how hard it is to make connections sometimes.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Where do you meet? Is it a place where you could take away the t.v./movie time?

 

Could your little girl play with the boys instead if they are close in age?

 

Could you meet together at a park where the kids are focused on the playground equipment and not just each other? Then your little girl could swing or slide without having to interact with a grumpy child.

[Mo_Babee]

I have a smilar situation. The girl in our case is just mean. She is just a mean kid. Sometimes she is nice and over times she snubs, gives dirty looks and all that lovely stuff.

 

You must have met my niece! :glare: I love her but I try to limit the amount of time my toddler spends around her because obviously at only one she is way too easily influenced by any personalities she's around and she had already picked up some extremely undesirable traits. Oh did I mention my BIL and his family live here! I cannot wait until they move out so I can have my children back.

 

So I say limit the amount of time they spend around each other and in the meantime try to counter the influence with a positive home environment and discipline when necessary so that your daughter realizes HER actions have consequences even if this other little girl's actions don't.

[EthiopianFood]

Find new friends to show her there are other ways of interacting, and talk to her about the fact that sometimes, other kids act inappropriately, but that doesn't mean SHE should. Also, she may feel hurt by the other girl's behavior, so see how she is feeling about it, and encourage her to play with someone else when this girl acts this way.