Abbeygurl4 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 my son? He is 13 and a very reluctant writer. We just started IEW a few weeks ago and this is one assignments. I think it's full of run on sentences but I don't want to discourage him. Please, if you have the time, take a look and help me help my ds edit this paper. Thanks! The Sake Merchant and the Samurai It was a cool but cloudless day, shade cast by the falling cherry blossoms dappled the ground, and under a tree sat a Samurai, wounded at the battle of Sekigahara. A Sake merchant saw the wounded Samurai, and carefully tended his wounds. The Sake merchant was a native of Owari Province, at the time ruled by the benevolent but iron fisted Oda Nobunaga. Less than a year afterwards, the Sake merchant borrowed three-hundred thousand moon from the local gang, but could not pay them back! A week later, the leader of the gang, Shishido Baiken, became impatient with the Sake merchant, and violently sheared off his hand! The Sake merchant, fearing for his life, hastily made for the city, hoping to hire a "Yojimbo" or bodyguard. When the Sake merchant finally arrived at the city of Kiyosu, he realized with a start that he hardly had enough money to feed himself, let alone hire a Yojimbo. Depressed, he collapsed in the street, and, thus making a spectacle of himself, was noticed by Shishido Baiken and his gang. But just as they were about to kill him, the Samurai that he had saved earlier recognized the Sake merchant, and lunged at Baiken, killing him in a single stroke! The rest of the gang, having witnessed their leader be killed so easily, fled in terror. And so, by his kindness to the Samurai the Sake merchant was saved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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