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Punishment for the Bus Monitor Abusive kids


What should the Bus Monitor Abusive childrens punishment be?  

  1. 1. What should the Bus Monitor Abusive childrens punishment be?

    • Have police prosectute / arrest them
      39
    • Write a letter of apology and read in front of news cameras
      82
    • Community Service
      118
    • Suspend from school
      72
    • Expel from School
      19
    • Loss of Extrac Circ. and Bus priviledges
      136
    • Spanking
      16
    • Any of the above with a spanking
      16
    • Nothing- They have been punished enough through media attention
      0


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I think that if they are so brazen as video their behaviour and be public about it in the first place, than they should be public about their apology. I think that community service helps kids to care about more than just themselves, and a loss of privileges might help them understand that they are just that, privileges. You aren't owed them, you earn them.

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suspend...but anything needs to be in conjunction with the parents. Whether or not the parents are poor examples are not, they are still responsible for them under the age of 18. Anything they do or don't do is a reflection on the parents whether it is justified or not, and they need to be closely involved in the consequence process.

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I agree. Its just despicable. I'm sure i missed some options in my poll by the way, like taking away their phones, tv, etc...... But it would take all my will not to tar and feather those kids for what they did to that lady. I just cant imagine my grandmother, when she was in her late 60's 0or 70's, out through something like that.

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I think they should be suspended. They should lose bus privileges for the remainder of the year, a moot point now, obviously.

 

I think they should write a letter of apology to the bus monitor and hand deliver it with their parents to give a verbal apology as well.

 

DH and I would make them perform community service.

 

Finally (and I mean no offense to that poor woman because she did not deserve any of that in the least) I think that school district needs to hire bus monitors who actually have some teeth and power. That crap wouldn't have flown half a minute with me.

Edited by Alte Veste Academy
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I saw a brief statement from one of the dads yesterday. He felt the kids had already suffered enough with the media attention. He wanted no futher consequences for his kid. Such a weak parental response.

 

:iagree::001_huh: Disgusting. I do not think a media apology is necessary but no further consequences?!?! I would be plotting out further consequences on a calendar so far into the future that I would run out of calendar before I ran out of ideas.

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I voted letter of apology and community service. I believe that writing out a letter to the bus monitor, spelling out what they did and apologizing for it, will force the boys to think about what they've done. And community service is a much better option that being arrested or expelled.

 

I'm not sure that being suspended from school or taking bus privileges away will have an effect. At that age, had you told me that I wasn't going to be allowed to ride the bus and my mom was going to be taking me to school, I would have been thrilled. I hated riding the bus. It was smelly, loud, and I had to get up early to catch it because I was the first stop. :tongue_smilie:And suspending me from school? I would have been equally thrilled. No school- yay! :lol:

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I saw a brief statement from one of the dads yesterday. He felt the kids had already suffered enough with the media attention. He wanted no futher consequences for his kid. Such a weak parental response.

Do you have a link for this?

 

One of the fathers seems to be on the right track:

One of the bully's fathers is speaking out. Robert Helm told Inside Edition that he was horrified watching the video.

"I'm sorry. This is not the way I raised my kids. I never would have in my wildest dreams think that they were capable of anything like this," Helm said.

 

Helm says drastic measures need to be taken for his son.

 

He assured, "It's not going to stop with, 'You're grounded; you're not going to get TV.' This is much bigger than that. This is something for a professional to interview Wesley and to find out what the underlying problem is."

 

He says his son has already written Klein a letter of apology.

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Hopefully, it would help the parents to perceive, if they don't already, that taxpayer-funded trips to school are not a right, but a privilege that can be revoked. Making them provide their own school transportation might drive this point home.

 

When my son was repeatedly harassed on the bus (many years ago) by one boy, the principal met with us, him and his Dad. In one sentence, she basically spelled this out for the Dad and told him and his son that one more infraction would mean no more bus privileges for the year (it was March!). I'm not sure what happened, but he never touched or spoke to my son again.

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They can be made to apologize, but it will mean nothing. The vicious cruelty exhibited by those on the bus excludes any ability for commiseration or feeling for their victim.

 

What is a little scary is that people seem to believe that if the kids say sorry that they mean it. Are we that gullible?

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They can be made to apologize, but it will mean nothing. The vicious cruelty exhibited by those on the bus excludes any ability for commiseration or feeling for their victim.

 

What is a little scary is that people seem to believe that if the kids say sorry that they mean it. Are we that gullible?

 

I don't believe that making a kid apologize necessarily means they will mean it. But some will. Regardless, it's just good manners and for heaven's sake, don't those kids need a lesson in good manners? ;) I taught my kids to apologize for hurt caused when they were toddlers, before they even realize what the words mean. You hope that modeling takes after a while. At any rate, I would like to think that having my child stand there while I apologize profusely for raising a child who could be so cruel would have some impact. Shame is needed here, in one form or another.

 

Some kids have such low self-esteem that they get caught up behaving like scum just to fit in somewhere, even if it's only with other scum. For some there is no wake-up call loud enough to save them. But for others, there is. This might be it. I hope so.

 

I disagree that any one of those kids is beyond hope.

Edited by Alte Veste Academy
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I think that if they are so brazen as video their behaviour and be public about it in the first place, than they should be public about their apology. I think that community service helps kids to care about more than just themselves, and a loss of privileges might help them understand that they are just that, privileges. You aren't owed them, you earn them.

 

 

:iagree:

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Do you have a link for this?

 

One of the fathers seems to be on the right track:

One of the bully's fathers is speaking out. Robert Helm told Inside Edition that he was horrified watching the video.

"I'm sorry. This is not the way I raised my kids. I never would have in my wildest dreams think that they were capable of anything like this," Helm said.

 

Helm says drastic measures need to be taken for his son.

 

He assured, "It's not going to stop with, 'You're grounded; you're not going to get TV.' This is much bigger than that. This is something for a professional to interview Wesley and to find out what the underlying problem is."

 

He says his son has already written Klein a letter of apology.

 

 

Sorry, I don't have a link. I was watching Fox News late last night. Maybe you can access it on the website. I am glad to hear that at least one parent is taking this seriously.

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I didn't vote because I didn't think any of those choices were quite the right ones. If my child did that he or she would be cleaning that lady's yard, washing the windows, vacuuming the car, scrubbing the floorboards, walking her dogs, grooming the cats, and whatever else needs doing. I would be there monitoring the whole time.

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Do you have a link for this?

 

One of the fathers seems to be on the right track:

 

One of the bully's fathers is speaking out. Robert Helm told Inside Edition that he was horrified watching the video.

"I'm sorry. This is not the way I raised my kids. I never would have in my wildest dreams think that they were capable of anything like this," Helm said.

 

Helm says drastic measures need to be taken for his son.

 

He assured, "It's not going to stop with, 'You're grounded; you're not going to get TV.' This is much bigger than that. This is something for a professional to interview Wesley and to find out what the underlying problem is."

 

He says his son has already written Klein a letter of apology.

 

Hoorah for that dad!

 

(I voted for any of the above plus a spanking....)

:-P

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I'd add one more thing-were my own child involved, I'd pull them from school away from their friends, and virtual school or homeschool in some way so that I could keep an eye on them and manage their contacts until I was reasonably confident that they could act in a mature, responsible manner even when others are not. I'm sure this was a group dynamics in action thing-but it's EXACTLY the kind of group dynamics I homeschool to get away from.

 

Community service is good-I think service to a senior citizen's center (yard work, painting, and other physical labor) would be a good choice-closely supervised by the parent or other adult. Like, say, every weekend for the next year.

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Normally I would never even consider spanking at 13, but I put it as an option in the poll because what these kids did was so outrageous, and it seems like in the video that they have an "I dont care, you can't do anything to me attitude" that makes my blood boil.

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I saw a brief statement from one of the dads yesterday. He felt the kids had already suffered enough with the media attention. He wanted no futher consequences for his kid. Such a weak parental response.

 

Seriously? Kids like that don't see the media as a punishment, they see it as a reward. They got their 15 minutes of fame. Dh has been teaching kids like this for years. They think it's funny and being on t.v. is cool. :glare:

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Normally I would never even consider spanking at 13, but I put it as an option in the poll because what these kids did was so outrageous, and it seems like in the video that they have an "I dont care, you can't do anything to me attitude" that makes my blood boil.

 

Yup. Me too.

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Seriously? Kids like that don't see the media as a punishment, they see it as a reward. They got their 15 minutes of fame. Dh has been teaching kids like this for years. They think it's funny and being on t.v. is cool. :glare:

 

Seems like these kids will not enjoy their 15 mins of fame!

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If it were my kid:

 

apologize - I would hope he would actually FEEL sorry; but regardless, children in my home admit wrong doing, at very least. The apology shouldn't be public as I don't think that aspect of it serves any usefulness and could even be detrimental. I would LIKE it to be in person though. I would also like if she would allow him to "serve" her doing chores and such but would understand if she wasn't comfy with that.

 

I would EXPECT he would lose bus privileges and he most certainly would lose at least certain extras. In fact, I have a kid currently who is on loss of certain extras and what he did wasn't nearly so extreme!

 

Community service encourages people to think about others rather than themselves.

 

I don't know anything about criminal stuff, but if it were applicable, then...they'd have to deal with that. I don't believe suspension or expulsion is usually helpful though. It seems like it could be problematic. And spanking for kids that age is just plain ridiculous. Honestly, it surprises me it is an option anyone would consider for kids those ages!

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And spanking for kids that age is just plain ridiculous. Honestly, it surprises me it is an option anyone would consider for kids those ages!

 

I went to a school where 15 year olds faced corporal punishment.....believe me it worked.

 

I also remember the case of Michale Fay (18 and caned in Singapore for theft and vandalism.........one thing about Singapore....there is not much vandalism http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/singapore-lashes-out-at-caning-critics-1372049.html). What was ridiculous was all the hand-wringing in the States over this, kid got exactly what he asked for.

 

I think a spanking for these punks would be well deserved.

Edited by pqr
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I think there should be other punishments potentially. However, the apology, to me, is the most essential piece. I think because people think of it as being without merit (oh, they'll just fake it, it won't mean anything, etc.) we don't require this of older kids very often. When I taught middle school, we used to require students to apologize to the whole community and you wouldn't believe some of the difficulties around that. Kids who would rather have done ANYTHING but stand up and say sorry in the middle of Meeting. And parents who had tantrums at us over it. "Don't make little Susie do this!" Really? The experience of working with kids to help them learn to apologize really sold me that it's a powerful, meaningful act most of the time, especially when it's done with witnesses.

 

ETA: And I can't believe we're even discussing using corporal punishment on kids that age in a school setting.

Edited by farrarwilliams
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Finally (and I mean no offense to that poor woman because she did not deserve any of that in the least) I think that school district needs to hire bus monitors who actually have some teeth and power. That crap wouldn't have flown half a minute with me.

 

I think it's easy to say that, but when you have absolutely no power (and it's my understanding that she did not) to do anything at all other than simply say, "Cut that out," then they've set you up for failure, no matter how much of an authoritarian you are usually. Adults in authority need to have... well... authority. From what I read (and forgive me if this is incorrect), she didn't have the authority to punish those kids in any way - to stop the bus, to take them back to school, to assign detention, to suspend them from the bus, to speak to their parents, even to refer them for further punishment. What in the world did they expect under those circumstances?

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I saw a brief statement from one of the dads yesterday. He felt the kids had already suffered enough with the media attention. He wanted no futher consequences for his kid. Such a weak parental response.

Please, those kids are probably loving the media attention and bragging about it. It's the parents that feel punished by the media attention, and they should.

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Police should be involved, even if just for a scare. The kids should apologize publicly. The kids should be suspended from school and also suspended from the bus when returning to school, if at other bus incident occurs they should be expelled from the bus. If any incident happens at school they should be expelled from school. They should also do community service.

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:iagree::001_huh: Disgusting. I do not think a media apology is necessary but no further consequences?!?! I would be plotting out further consequences on a calendar so far into the future that I would run out of calendar before I ran out of ideas.

 

:iagree:

 

I voted for community service, but I think maybe they need therapy and compassion training. I think their community service should maybe focus on anti-bullying or nutrition services....or something that makes the punishment fit.

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PQR, I just don't see it. I can see spanking at all; but at some point, other methods need to be employed. And the fact that the kids did this seems to suggest that there is either something wrong with them that needs to be addressed or that they needed some better discipline (teaching/guidance) along the way (or at least now). It seems like it would be much more likely these kids have been left on their own discipline wise too much and/or controlled/punished rather than disciplined so they didn't learn better. Seems that either way, a better way to handle it would be more helpful than spanking. In fact, spanking seems, imo, to be an awfully "easy" response and then there is the whole fact that I would want him reflecting on many things other than his backside or his feelings about the treatment HE got.

Edited by 2J5M9K
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I didn't vote because I didn't think any of those choices were quite the right ones. If my child did that he or she would be cleaning that lady's yard, washing the windows, vacuuming the car, scrubbing the floorboards, walking her dogs, grooming the cats, and whatever else needs doing. I would be there monitoring the whole time.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Those kids would be busy....and that woman would have the shiniest floors and best groomed yard in the state!

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I didn't vote because I didn't think any of those choices were quite the right ones. If my child did that he or she would be cleaning that lady's yard, washing the windows, vacuuming the car, scrubbing the floorboards, walking her dogs, grooming the cats, and whatever else needs doing. I would be there monitoring the whole time.

 

I think I'd add this to my previous answer. :iagree:

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The school should suspend their bus privileges. Yes, this punishes the parents, but it should be done as a measure to protect other students (and, sadly, the monitors, who seem to have no authority).

 

I think the kids should be arrested as well. I couldn't get past the first two minutes, but from what I've heard, there were specific threats made against this woman. Awful, violent threats. Imagine a 20 something man threatening a woman that way. That behavior is illegal and they should experience what happens to people who break the law. Hopefully, the courts would assign community service and some counseling.

 

If it was my kid . . . Oh Lord. I'm not sure how much it would take for that child to earn back any privileges. And by privileges I mean anything other than eating (no treats at all), doing school work, or doing chores. Any electronic device that child owned would be mine. I'm thinking at least 3 months. And whether anyone else made the child do community service, I would. I would also insist upon an apology letter. It would be rewritten several times to meet my standards. (I would apologize to the woman ASAP, because I think knowing that the parents will not tolerate the behavior might help her feel better.)

 

But I would also add a lot of prayer around the child. Not "you have to pray now", but "Lord, open his eyes". I would encourage my child to turn to prayer as well. We all make mistakes. God wants to forgive us. I think modeling that kind of love in our parenting is critical. So, for all the punishing I've talked about, there would also be a lot of praying, and loving, and forgiving, and encouraging.

 

I'm just really glad it's not one of my kids.

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Normally I would never even consider spanking at 13, but I put it as an option in the poll because what these kids did was so outrageous, and it seems like in the video that they have an "I dont care, you can't do anything to me attitude" that makes my blood boil.

 

I think that the kids need professional intervention - a class at least. They need specific and targeted information on abuse, bullying, and the known group-think behavior slide.

 

People, not just kids, consistently go further, and do *more* negative behavior in groups than they would solo. I am not excusing these kids, but they need to know that they are prone to this and that the dynamic exists.

 

I think community service requirements are appropriate here- especially if it involves serving less than young, beautiful, athletic types.

 

The only physical punishment I'd support would be requiring cleaning (say, of the school buses).

 

Back to my original point, though, I think that all the kids in the school need to know that many kids are at risk to "go there". The pack mentality combined with immaturity can be a toxic mix. I totally believe and get the horrified Dad who asserts he did not raise his son to be like that.

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I went to a school where 15 year olds faced corporal punishment.....believe me it worked.I also remember the case of Michale Fay (18 and caned in Singapore for theft and vandalism.........one thing about Singapore....there is not much vandalism http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/singapore-lashes-out-at-caning-critics-1372049.html). What was ridiculous was all the hand-wringing in the States over this, kid got exactly what he asked for.

 

I think a spanking for these punks would be well deserved.

 

If "it worked", schools and parents would not have to spank a 15 year old. ;) If "it worked", the early spankings would have solved the problems my 15, don't you think.

 

I believe that spanking a child after ages that include double digits is a form of sexual assault.

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Please, those kids are probably loving the media attention and bragging about it. It's the parents that feel punished by the media attention, and they should.
I don't think the kids are enjoying the harassment and death threats they and their families are receiving. While there's a certain delicious irony in their being crowd shamed, it must be pretty frightening.
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If "it worked", schools and parents would not have to spank a 15 year old. ;) If "it worked", the early spankings would have solved the problems my 15, don't you think.

 

I believe that spanking a child after ages that include double digits is a form of sexual assault.

 

 

Well, it did work, we had remarkably few problems. Students were polite, homework was done, we learned what we were supposed to and frankly the school was a great place to be. Everything that American public schools are frequently not!

 

As to the other part of your comment.....beyond it being simply ludicrous, you realize that you are now accusing all parents who spank a 10 year old of sexual assault as well as groups like the Government of Singapore . It is no wonder that many people smirk (or openly laugh) at psychobabble when comments such as that are made.

 

You really argue that a father who spanks his 10 year old is sexually assaulting him? How about if the boy is 9years, 11 months and 28 days? You know how very insulting you are being towards the parents of many on this board as well as many posters and frankly how very very silly.

Edited by pqr
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Do you have a link for this?

 

One of the fathers seems to be on the right track:

One of the bully's fathers is speaking out. Robert Helm told Inside Edition that he was horrified watching the video.

"I'm sorry. This is not the way I raised my kids. I never would have in my wildest dreams think that they were capable of anything like this," Helm said.

 

Helm says drastic measures need to be taken for his son.

 

He assured, "It's not going to stop with, 'You're grounded; you're not going to get TV.' This is much bigger than that. This is something for a professional to interview Wesley and to find out what the underlying problem is."

 

He says his son has already written Klein a letter of apology.

 

 

I think this is how I'd react as well. Good for Dad.

 

I think they should lose bus privileges for a year - they have to walk - no rides. I think they probably all do need some form of counseling and community service.

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part also depends upon how willing their parents are to support their little darlings being taught a lesson in manners.

 

I've heard of kids losing bus privledges being forced to walk the same route - while the parent followed in a car. walking would teach them consequences - but if their parents just drive them, they'll learn nothing.

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I'm completely opposed to suspending/expelling the kids from school as a punishment. It would be better to put them back into class sitting right next to the desk in the front of the room and assign them huge amounts of extra-credit work to do for hours after school every day. Detention: yes. Suspension: no. I do agree that they shouldn't be allowed to ride the bus.

 

Apologizing should be expected from every guilty child, and community service is also a great consequence. I would love it if it came in the form of having to work on the bus monitor's yard or house (with heavy handed adult supervision, of course).

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I saw a brief statement from one of the dads yesterday. He felt the kids had already suffered enough with the media attention. He wanted no futher consequences for his kid. Such a weak parental response.

Well, gee, any wonder their sweet lil darling is such an a$$?

OP, you forgot eaten by bears.

Bwah hahahaha!

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