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Do you ever feel you're wasting your time posting?


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I have to say, being here has certainly added some diversity to our vocabulary around the house.

 

And my family has gotten good use of this board as well. I've had my daughters and my DH ask me to post a question to the Hive and then sit at the computer waiting for responses!

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Gently, to answer your original question, yes it's a waste of time to post here. Sometimes, all I really feel like doing is wasting time, so it's perfect. However, don't look to this board for personal affirmation or to feel noticed and valued. You will not find that here. If you never posted again, the vast majority of the people on here wouldn't notice (they wouldn't notice me either). Don't feel bad about that! Just realize the truth of it. Do NOT invest emotionally into being affirmed here. This is not the place to find your value. If you did get your affirmation here, I would call that unhealthy.

 

I have had seasons when I invested too much (time, emotions, ect) into an Internet board, just to realize that it was pointless. It helps to take breaks. Maybe some time away from the board is in order?

 

((hugs))

 

I don't know if I'd go so far as to call it "unhealthy". For true introverts - and I don't know if the OP is or not - it might be the most connection someone gets all week. For those in a difficult situation, like illness, illness of child, infants or on bed rest, something healing, injury or some other reason they don't get out, it could be a lifeline to the world.

 

Sure, it isn't the whole world, and one should invest in the world, but there are seasons where it is difficult. But it isn't "pointless" for some people.

 

I do agree one can go too far and find oneself living in a virtual world, which would not be good on an ongoing basis. But everyone wants to feel valued and acknowledged and you find it where you can get it.

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

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Gee, thanks for reminding me that I need to clean mine too. I would so much rather stay here and chat! Well, I guess that's why my bathrooms get so dirty in the first place!

But once your bathroom is clean you can come back and play.

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Oh, lost me completely.

 

Dawn

 

 

That's because I'm invisible, so you probably didn't see my post about adding controversial comments to any post in an attempt to get people to reply!

:lol:

j/k, j/k! :D

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

 

Awwww. I'm sorry.

 

HI, BEAR&ME! :D Glad to have you here! I'm sorry I didn't see your first post. This place moves FAST. It's hard to catch everything.

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

 

 

Hello, welcome to the board! Don't be nervous to post. :D

I figure I'm at least increasing my posts count when I add to a conversation with no feedback. LOL!

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

Let me go ahead an quote you so you can have that thrill. And know you were not completely ignored. :lol::lol:

 

Welcome to the boards.

 

Jump in and post. Otherwise you'll just get lost in the crowd. Oh, don't take it personally if you feel that way at times. :D

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

 

 

It's good to get over that nervousness. It's kind of a Catch 22 -- everyone kind of needs a recognizability factor and if you don't post, you don't get recognized, and if you don't get recognized, one remains reticent to post.

 

Welcome -- I hope that made sense.:)

 

PS -- I am awful at welcoming newcomers and at answering threads -- I will answer them mainly in my head, remember to pray for people, have positive thoughts for them, but I seldom will actually write to them. Except nonsense like we have going on today. And the kilt stuff. And the goats. And the backyard rodents wearing shields and helmets.:lol:

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

 

Welcome! I was originally on the boards from August 2008 through sometime in 2010, when I took a board break. I don't remember having a hard time starting to post in 2008 but when I came back in 2010, I felt so nervous about it for some reason. The boards grew and grew and grew... No biggie though. It's like a big city pool in the middle of August. Sometimes no one notices an extra person and sometimes you splash up against just the right person and have a great friend for the day. :D If you dip your toe in, you'll likely go unnoticed. Just keep on getting in. If you cannonball, I guarantee you'll get lots of attention. :tongue_smilie:

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

 

Hi! :001_smile: I think I must have missed your first post. Sometimes I'm on here a lot, sometimes I only manage 5 mins here or there (depends on how much I'm trying to avoid doing anything remotely 'work' like :tongue_smilie:)

 

I look forward to getting to know you.

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So, I can honestly and truly say that no, I don't find this group cold in the slightest. And my life is so much more blessed thanks to the members here.

 

A message board is as we have posted, an odd sort of beast. But I think that its true character, albeit, the character of its members, comes through in a time of need. And i think that as far as virtual 'friends,' the women here have done what they can when they were asked.

 

I know it probably isn't intended this way, but this feels to me like negating the OP's feelings. I think she knows there is a strong community - she just doesn't feel a part of it.

 

A while ago someone posted a thread about her church, which threw baby showers for all the pregnant women, except for her. She was invited to all the other showers, but no one ever threw one for her pregnancies. I'm sure the ones receiving baby showers thought of the church as amazing and supportive. Doesn't mean the one who didn't get a shower is wrong for feeling left out.

 

Similar here.

 

(I don't really feel a part of the community here. I don't have any particular "board friends". But I don't really give a fig - that's not why I'm here.)

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Welcome! I was originally on the boards from August 2008 through sometime in 2010, when I took a board break. I don't remember having a hard time starting to post in 2008 but when I came back in 2010, I felt so nervous about it for some reason. The boards grew and grew and grew... No biggie though. It's like a big city pool in the middle of August. Sometimes no one notices an extra person and sometimes you splash up against just the right person and have a great friend for the day. :D If you dip your toe in, you'll likely go unnoticed. Just keep on getting in. If you cannonball, I guarantee you'll get lots of attention. :tongue_smilie:

 

And wolves in towels. :Angel_anim:

 

Hi! :001_smile: I think I must have missed your first post. Sometimes I'm on here a lot, sometimes I only manage 5 mins here or there (depends on how much I'm trying to avoid doing anything remotely 'work' like :tongue_smilie:)

 

I look forward to getting to know you.

 

 

This is such an eloquent group. Really. I like the pool analogy!

 

I have to go take a nap -- really. I have to drive to dive team prax, host a playdate including dinner, and get the kids started on a NEON PIRANHA. Need a nap.

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

 

Hi there! I looked at your first post and I do not think you were intentionally ignored. That was just someone else's thread and they were asking for a specific type of advice.

 

I know that when I ask curriculum questions, I read through the responses and consider all of them, but I only respond to ones that get my brain thinking of something.

 

Others just may not have wanted to rabbit trail a thread. :001_smile:

 

Welcome!

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There are a few people who commented on this thread about feeling ignored. It's funny because I always notice their comments, even if I don't say anything.

 

The PM feature is great for encouraging someone individually. I've had some very low times in the 4 1/2 years I've been on this board. It feels great to get a PM from someone who appreciated what I said or offered private advice on a situation. A few of those PMs have come at exactly the bottom of the barrel moment when I needed a pat on the back. A few have moved me to tears. Maybe I need to make more of those attempts myself.

Edited by elegantlion
deleted the babble
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Yes, yes, yes! I had a board break for around a year and no one missed me. OK, a little while after I left someone posted asking about a possible substitution in a recipe I posted but that was it. :lol:

 

These boards are helpful. I get a lot of good information and answers for very specific questions here. But feel appreciated and validated? That comes from family and IRL friends.

 

I agree, and I did notice and miss you when you were gone. I considered emailing you via LibraryThing but was afraid to be stalkerish. I read a lot of your old posts as a substitute.

 

I have taken several months off and no one PMed or posted wondering where I had gone to, so I don't fool myself into thinking people care about me. I do wish I could meet you all in real life, only I am too shy.

 

I feel so sad reading all these posters I always read with interest (including you, umMusa!) saying they think no one cares.

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I feel so sad reading all these posters I always read with interest (including you, umMusa!) saying they think no one cares.

Wait! What? I love reading her posts! :confused: I have not read the whole thread....forgive me, but I think more of you are noticed than you think. ;)

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I have taken several months off and no one PMed or posted wondering where I had gone to, so I don't fool myself into thinking people care about me. I do wish I could meet you all in real life, only I am too shy.

 

I always enjoy reading your responses!

 

I generally don't pm ppl, cause I don't want to come across as being even freakier than I am at first glance.

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OP-I definitely recognize you! I haven't been on here long. I try to respond to posts I find useful or responses to mine. But honestly...I have 5 kids and a laptop that frequently erases what I type. I hate feeling like it's a popularity contest (very common on boards), but it does feel like that often on here. I also feel weird typing a response or :iagree: to every post I agree with. I feel like it would be annoying to people to see all of those posts by me with a :iagree: when I can't think of anything better to respond!

 

I find it nearly impossible to do anything social or make friends. I am weird and awkward and introverted. So online boards are about as close as I can get, being rural. I admit when I start threads it sounds a lot more significant in my head than typed out, so I try not to get my feelings hurt too much if nobody responds. I'm not good at getting my point across clearly. But I do have "emotional intensity". I am terribly afraid of embarrassment and I get my feelings hurt easily. It's tough to navigate that online, especially.

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I agree, and I did notice and miss you when you were gone. I considered emailing you via LibraryThing but was afraid to be stalkerish. I read a lot of your old posts as a substitute.

 

I am sure I would have felt honored. My LibraryThing...I always forget about it! Sometimes I cringe when I read my old posts. I'm happy someone likes them. I think about how much I've evolved and wonder how erratic my old posts make me seem. :tongue_smilie:

 

I have taken several months off and no one PMed or posted wondering where I had gone to, so I don't fool myself into thinking people care about me.

 

I do notice when people disappear but instead of wondering/worrying, I tend to project my own need for a board break and assume those people are...ahem...cough...adjusting their priorities and have a stronger will than I do with regards to the boards. :tongue_smilie: I use the boards as an escape, which is probably why I typically don't get too personal here.

 

You know what haunts me about you, stripe? The fact that I've always felt akin to you here on these boards and then one day, in a Santa thread, I was snippy to you without having seen and processed your user name. To this day, I cringe every time I think of it. I am sorry.

 

Phew, glad to get that off my chest. :lol:

 

...I think more of you are noticed than you think. ;)

 

:iagree:

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A little late here, attempting a board break myself but you know how that goes:tongue_smilie:, but I have a thought I haven't seen mentioned.

 

I'm pretty much an 'info only' poster, but I think it is nice to know that if I reply to a thread to give input on a certain topic, even if the OP never replies-- it lives on in "searchville" and can help others.

 

Actually some of the most informative (for my needs) posts I've found when searching have been shorter ones without a lot of action--impersonal ones if you will.

 

 

 

OK, returning to board break. Feeling the pinch of time-wasting around here. When there is no clean silverware and the kids have watched PBS all day, I try to step away. :001_smile: I started trying to make the break when Beast Academy was tempting me to make my 8th math curriculum purchase.:auto:

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I feel like such a jerk.

 

Just speaking for myself, I have been buried by real life this spring and summer. Some issues I'm dealing with are slightly more than I can handle, but nothing can be changed so I'm pressing on...

 

anyway, I try to pop back in here and participate like always for my own edification and to maintain these friendships, but evidently I don't have enough left over to give because...

 

every third time I post anything I come unglued, jump to conclusions, or act like a jerk.

 

I don't mean to. It's real life running over my keyboard and I'm not coping well. Two days later I realize I didn't play nicely with others again and put myself in time out. Ugh.

 

So why am I making this all about me, me, me? I just wanted to say that I feel like a jerk because the OP, and several others in this thread, are people who are on my own personal little list of Posters to Watch Out For Because I Care and I've Noticed They Need Friends Here. It's not a big list; I'm not that observant. But these people are on it, and now they are feeling frozen out, and I've been so self-absorbed that I didn't pay attention.

 

I am sorry, Lucinda, UmMusa, happyhomemaker (Becky) and anyone else who hoped I would be a better friend. This has been a wake-up call for me. I apologize. Friendships are work, and that goes double for online friendships because those only happen if you sit down to the computer and 'click.' I'll try harder.

Edited by Tibbie Dunbar
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I feel like such a jerk.

 

Just speaking for myself, I have been buried by real life this spring and summer. Some issues I'm dealing with are slightly more than I can handle, but nothing can be changed so I'm pressing on...

 

anyway, I try to pop back in here and participate like always for my own edification and to maintain these friendships, but evidently I don't have enough left over to give because...

 

every third time I post anything I come unglued, jump to conclusions, or act like a jerk.

 

I don't mean to. It's real life running over my keyboard and I'm not coping well. Two days later I realize I didn't play nicely with others again and put myself in time out. Ugh.

 

So why am I making this all about me, me, me? I just wanted to say that I feel like a jerk because the OP, and several others in this thread, are people who are on my own personal little list of Posters to Watch Out For Because I Care and I've Noticed They Need Friends Here. It's not a big list; I'm not that observant. But these people are on it, and now they are feeling frozen out, and I've been so self-absorbed that I didn't pay attention.

 

I am sorry, Lucinda, UmMusa, happyhomemaker (Becky) and anyone else who hoped I would be a better friend. This has been a wake-up call for me. I apologize. Friendships are work, and that goes double for online friendships because those only happen if you sit down to the computer and 'click.' I'll try harder.

 

Oh Tibbie, I do think you are lovely. Just keep on keepin on and those of us on the board will keep till you can be here more :). Until then, we will all read your posts on our fridges :)

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This is my second post ever. I've been nervous to post or jump in because I'm new but I want to.

The first post I posted I even mentioned that it was my first post and got completely ignored even though every other person got acknowledged. It made me nervous to post again.

 

Aww.. sorry! Welcome to the boards!

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I always enjoy reading your responses!

 

I generally don't pm ppl, cause I don't want to come across as being even freakier than I am at first glance.

Oh, well, see. I thought you didn't PM because you have some sort of freaky aversion to them. :lol::lol:

 

 

I'm sorry. I'll quit picking. :auto:

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I feel like such a jerk.

 

Just speaking for myself, I have been buried by real life this spring and summer. Some issues I'm dealing with are slightly more than I can handle, but nothing can be changed so I'm pressing on...

 

anyway, I try to pop back in here and participate like always for my own edification and to maintain these friendships, but evidently I don't have enough left over to give because...

 

every third time I post anything I come unglued, jump to conclusions, or act like a jerk.

 

I don't mean to. It's real life running over my keyboard and I'm not coping well. Two days later I realize I didn't play nicely with others again and put myself in time out. Ugh.

 

So why am I making this all about me, me, me? I just wanted to say that I feel like a jerk because the OP, and several others in this thread, are people who are on my own personal little list of Posters to Watch Out For Because I Care and I've Noticed They Need Friends Here. It's not a big list; I'm not that observant. But these people are on it, and now they are feeling frozen out, and I've been so self-absorbed that I didn't pay attention.

 

I am sorry, Lucinda, UmMusa, happyhomemaker (Becky) and anyone else who hoped I would be a better friend. This has been a wake-up call for me. I apologize. Friendships are work, and that goes double for online friendships because those only happen if you sit down to the computer and 'click.' I'll try harder.

I see you jumping in just enough that I don't worry about you.

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Thanks, Kristen and Chucki! :grouphug:

 

Lucinda, are you feeling better yet, at all? You've never really struck me as a kilt person, but if you are, now's the time to say so.

 

Alternatively, some folks were offering booze and rum cake around here earlier this week. I could go try to find them if you want, if they're not too pie-eyed to contribute.

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You know what haunts me about you, stripe? The fact that I've always felt akin to you here on these boards and then one day, in a Santa thread, I was snippy to you without having seen and processed your user name. To this day, I cringe every time I think of it. I am sorry.

 

Phew, glad to get that off my chest. :lol:

 

 

Ha! I never even saw that post, or at least I don't remember it anymore! So rest easy, girl!

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