Twinmom Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 (edited) Our twin who has APD has struggled mightily with phonetic awareness and it is holding back the development of his reading skills. I am thrilled and lucky to have found an OG therapist two doors down from me who knows me, knows DS9 and his twin and who was willing to tutor him for only $35 a hour. I should be beyond thrilled, right? Well, truthfully I am. But, there is this part of me that is feeling whiny...a part of me I'm not proud of! DS is coming home thrilled to pieces over what he is learning. He is picking up random stuff from her in mere minutes that I have been trying to teach him unsuccessfully for years (like tying his shoes). She is making inroads with his phonics in just a few sessions. I am SO happy for him, but honestly it makes me feel as if I have failed him. Yes, I know that he is probably hitting a developmental stage that makes this possible now vs. earlier, and yes, I know that I have both worked hard to teach him and have busted my behind giving him outside therapies that he needed (OT, speech, neurofeedback, etc.), but I still feel as if I should have been more successful with him earlier. She is a lovely lady, but it also doesn't help that she regularly points out how far behind he is pretty far behind NC state standards and I should have exposed him to x, y, and z by now. (She is super supportive of homeschooling, though...). Yes, I know he is behind...I have tried hard to do the most with what he had to offer, but I also have three other special needs kids to deal with, so it has been hard. It also doesn't help that DS keeps innocently pointing out my personal deficiencies as a teacher. :( So, when I should be happy that I have found this great resource that is actually getting through to him and makes him happy to learn, I am feeling sorry for myself. Slap me out of this, would ya? I am actually starting to think that putting him back in school would be better for him, if I am not enough for him. I feel like a fussy two year old! :o I really am thrilled at his progress and happy for him, just feeling fairly inadequate... Thanks for letting me get that off my chest! Moving right along now... Edited June 19, 2012 by Twinmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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