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"Deep" status updates on FB


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Perhaps she has had some changes in her life that have caused her to reexamine where she is and where she is going? I am coming to a crossroads myself. As I am starting to see the end of my role homeschooling, I am really wondering what my place will be. My old career moved to India making 1/3 of my previous part-time salary. I really don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

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I wouldn't share my mid-life crisis with everybody on Facebook in one angsty update, but I think it's pretty common to feel some sense of disequilibrium in your thirties. In your twenties you are upwardly mobile. In your thirties you are sitting in the consequences of the choices you have made, and life is not always what you expected or planned.

 

I hear the 40s are better. I hear there can be a sort of renewal when the kids grow up, you get more sleep, and you realize you might not be quite as old as you thought.

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Yup, rude. Do you know what's going on with her? Marriage falling apart (or maybe no husband in sight when she has always planned and dreamed of a family)? Loss of career/job? Giving up on a dream she's pursued for years that just isn't working out? It might sound a little melodramatic, but I can completely believe that a 35 yo could feel that way. Now if you know her well and you know that she's always like that, maybe an eyeroll is called for, but not a snarky comment.

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Perhaps she has had some changes in her life that have caused her to reexamine where she is and where she is going? I am coming to a crossroads myself. As I am starting to see the end of my role homeschooling, I am really wondering what my place will be. My old career moved to India making 1/3 of my previous part-time salary. I really don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

 

Still, not something you would put in your status update, right?? Or am I just that much more private then the rest of the world??

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I understand your annoyance but I sympathize with you and the poster in this situation.

 

Just because you are occupying space in your world doesn't mean you're in your rightful place. I have been struggling a lot lately with that sentiment lately. However, I'm only 22 but it would be a nightmare if I woke at 36 still feeling the same way...

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Yup, rude. Do you know what's going on with her? Marriage falling apart (or maybe no husband in sight when she has always planned and dreamed of a family)? Loss of career/job? Giving up on a dream she's pursued for years that just isn't working out? It might sound a little melodramatic, but I can completely believe that a 35 yo could feel that way. Now if you know her and you know that she's always like that, maybe an eyeroll is called for, but not a snarky comment.

 

I have no idea what is going on with her and that's part of my issue. Why share this with everyone who was on our high school reunion group??

 

And I despise melodrama.

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I have no idea what is going on with her and that's part of my issue. Why share this with everyone who was on our high school reunion group??

 

And I despise melodrama.

 

So don't respond. Seriously, lots of people give TMI of lots of varieties in their very stupid Facebook updates. I hate Facebook partly for that reason, so I'm not on Facebook. But she certainly has the right to say whatever she wants in her own Facebook status update, right?

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Still, not something you would put in your status update, right?? Or am I just that much more private then the rest of the world??

 

Yes, rude and possibly insensitive.

 

People "use" their FB in different ways. There might be some clear right/wrong but this is not one of them. I've pondered existential stuff on my FB, and to understand why you'd have to know me, my personality, temperment, the people ON my FB, and how I use FB.

 

Due to recent events on my own FB, I've firmed up my policy to never post anything negative/contrary on *someone else's* status update. If I can't say anything nice, understanding, or in agreement, I skip over.

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I have no idea what is going on with her and that's part of my issue. Why share this with everyone who was on our high school reunion group??

 

And I despise melodrama.

 

Then I suggest you not interact with her. I don't see "wondering where you fit in" as melodrama. I see it as an introspective turning point. I don't believe you need to go through periods of existential wondering to build a meaningful to you life; but certainly going through such periods can be part of a healthy processing.

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I wouldn't share my mid-life crisis with everybody on Facebook in one angsty update, but I think it's pretty common to feel some sense of disequilibrium in your thirties. In your twenties you are upwardly mobile. In your thirties you are sitting in the consequences of the choices you have made, and life is not always what you expected or planned.

 

I hear the 40s are better. I hear there can be a sort of renewal when the kids grow up, you get more sleep, and you realize you might not be quite as old as you thought.

 

:iagree:

 

 

Thirties are some whole lotta disequilibrium.

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A girl I graduated from high school with just updated her status to "wish I could find my place in this world". It would probably be rude for me to point out to her that she is 35 and not 16, right?!?

 

Yep, I think that would be pretty rude. I don't find that update surprising at all. I am actually more curious about why you find it so irksome.

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A girl I graduated from high school with just updated her status to "wish I could find my place in this world". It would probably be rude for me to point out to her that she is 35 and not 16, right?!?
So once we've left our teens we're too old to reevaluate, to regret, to want more out of life? Unless she's posting this stuff all the time, I'm not sure it rises to the level of melodrama. FWIW, I'd rather this than empty affirmations and self-help catch phrases.

 

Be on the look out for things that make you laugh. If you see nothing worth laughing at, pretend you see it, then laugh.

 

[Points for anyone who gets the reference. :D ]

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No worries, I wouldn't respond. I'm just making conversation here. I remember the girl from high school, she wasn't exactly a deep-thinker back then. I haven't been on my FB page in a year and this just reminded me of why. Have a great day!

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I don't use facebook a lot, but this seems so entirely non-offensive and non-irritating compared to most of what people write. It doesn't seem particularly personal (since trying to find one's place in the world is pretty much a universal occupation, and one that is revisited throughout your life). It doesn't seem contrary, argumentative, overly revealing ... anything.

 

All I can think is that you probably didn't like this girl when you did know her, so you notice more and care more about what she writes.

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Probably. LOL

 

I have a FB friend who went through a divorce in the last few years and posts EVERYDAY about how she needs a man, wants a man, is sooo lonely. Then, recently she took to posting pictures of herself in little string bikinis...and I am talking 5-6 poses for each bikini, 7-8 bikinis in all, and many of the poses are really suggestive where she is pulling down one side of the suit until you can almost see all she has. It is, honestly, sad and disgusting. Part of me wants to pm her and talk to her about it, but we were never "good" friends and I feel like she is pretty fragile right now anyway. I have seriously considered unfriending her...

Edited by Tree House Academy
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Actually, that seems like a fairly tame and reasonable thing to post of Facebook. I say that because some of the things I have seen people post there make me :001_huh:. It seems people have no reservations of posting details of their life that at one time would be considered private and not open to conversation. Really TMI stuff.

 

Then there are all the political rants and such.

 

So, a status update of someone wondering about their place in life might almost seem refreshing to me.:D

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I think I get what you're saying, and I think you're just more private than a lot of FB users. I am as well. My sister puts every little detail of her life on there, from everyday trips to the park, to angst ridden posts during my grandma's extended illness and then her death. I feel they are either things that people don't really care about or they are things that the important people in your life should hear about in person or with a phonecall. With my sister, who tends to be dramatic, I also think it's a way of gaining attention.

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I have no idea what is going on with her and that's part of my issue. Why share this with everyone who was on our high school reunion group??

 

And I despise melodrama.

 

:iagree: I eventually turn off people like this. I like to call it "vague-booking". It's like a cry for attention without being direct. I feel like high school is the time to get that kind of drama out of your system. I have subgroups set up on FB if I have something more private or maybe homeschooling related to share. Or I actually speak to a real human. I hide posts on FB constantly.

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Still, not something you would put in your status update, right?? Or am I just that much more private then the rest of the world??

 

Maybe it's a cry for help. Maybe it's a lament. Maybe it's an explanation (to those who know her better) of why she seems out of sorts lately...

 

Either way, I think compassion is called for, not snark, and certainly not rudeness. I get what you're saying, though, I don't put stuff like that on Facebook, but some people do.

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A girl I graduated from high school with just updated her status to "wish I could find my place in this world". It would probably be rude for me to point out to her that she is 35 and not 16, right?!?

 

Yes, it would be rude. That's why the "hide this story" option exists. If it becomes a habit and you really can't stand her angst, you could "hide all by" her. Or unfriend her. Really, with all the options at our disposal, I don't understand why people complain about FB statuses. If you don't like what a person has to say, no one is forcing you to "listen" to them.

 

And in regard to this particular status, if I didn't know her personally and know she was prone to melodrama, I would actually be quite concerned. She's sharing a painful and private sentiment in a public forum. It could be melodrama, but it could also be a cry for help. I would be concerned that she may not have anyone close to her with whom she can talk. Perhaps her closest family and friends are on FB and not available to her in real life. I'd be more inclined to ask her if everything is okay and if she wants to talk about it. But that's just me.

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