How would you handle this family? NPD?

[FiveOaksAcademy]

:)

Edited June 17, 2012 by FiveOaksAcademy

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think you are over-analyzing and over-spiritualizing the whole thing. I think basic etiquette rules apply at church as well as everywhere else.

 

1. If you want to include a likeable young person in your social circles, do so.

2. If you want to be too busy every time his mother or sister tries to initiate a relationship with you, do that.

3. Never mind everyone else's gossip. Don't hear it.

4. Teach your own dc to be careful around known troublemakers.

5. Flatly ignore rude behavior at social gatherings; the way to handle it if you can't stand it is to take your own kids and quietly leave.

6. Invite your own friends when you are the hostess.

7. Refuse to know about all these elders and deacons meetings that revolve around addressing the drama of one family.

8. Don't be interested in a family you don't like.

 

Does that help? I'm not trying to sound brusque but as an INTJ I often do. I'm sorry; I'm seriously trying to be helpful. One thing that helps me when drama seems to threaten environments that I am forced to be part of, myself, is to try to logically separate spirituality, religious mores, or local customs and just remember my manners.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

:)

Edited June 20, 2012 by FiveOaksAcademy

[LucyStoner]

I think you are over-analyzing and over-spiritualizing the whole thing. I think basic etiquette rules apply at church as well as everywhere else.

 

1. If you want to include a likeable young person in your social circles, do so.

2. If you want to be too busy every time his mother or sister tries to initiate a relationship with you, do that.

3. Never mind everyone else's gossip. Don't hear it.

4. Teach your own dc to be careful around known troublemakers.

5. Flatly ignore rude behavior at social gatherings; the way to handle it if you can't stand it is to take your own kids and quietly leave.

6. Invite your own friends when you are the hostess.

7. Refuse to know about all these elders and deacons meetings that revolve around addressing the drama of one family.

8. Don't be interested in a family you don't like.

 

Does that help? I'm not trying to sound brusque but as an INTJ I often do. I'm sorry; I'm seriously trying to be helpful. One thing that helps me when drama seems to threaten environments that I am forced to be part of, myself, is to try to logically separate spirituality, religious mores, or local customs and just remember my manners.

 

What she said. Especially the bolded. Invite the nice kid. It is not rude to only extend an invite to the person your child is friends with.

 

It is just not worth it to devote mental energy to these people. You will have so much more energy and time if you just don't give them any of your time and attention.