What to do when you really don't want to homeschool anymore?

[Krista in LA]

I'm not talking about the typical "I'm tired of doing this and sure could use a break" type feeling. Usually, by this time of the summer, I'm pumped up about the upcoming school year - I've not just placed orders, but have the stuff in hand and most of it planned. Some years we were even starting school right after the 4th of July. This year, I've been putting it off. I didn't want to figure out what to use, buy it, and then plan it all out. I finally decided that I had to get my order in to Rainbow yesterday and there was none of the usual excitement for me. After placing the order, all I could think about was that I really didn't want to homeschool anymore. I'm tired of the responsibility. I'm tired of it taking over my whole life and house. I love being with my children, but I don't want to teach them anymore. The passion is gone. If my kids came to me and said they wanted to go to school, I would probably be jumping for joy except for the fact that I would miss them. Of course then the reality would hit that ds probably would have a hard time at school and I really need to work on his writing skills with him before he could go.

 

So has anyone felt like this and gotten through it or should I start preparing my kids to go to school? I have 12dd signed up for Classical Conversations, so I'm hoping that will help with her. I'm almost contemplating on just focusing on the really important stuff with 10ds so if school is in his future, he'll be better prepared for it. :001_unsure:

[Karenciavo]

I try not to make decisions like this based on feelings like lack of passion or being tired. Truthfully, I make a list for myself so that when I get those feelings I get it out, read it again and know why I am doing this home-schooling thing. So many areas of my life have these peaks and valleys: home-schooling, cooking for my family, sticking to our budget, being a good wife, serving others to name a few. Sometimes stepping back helps, but that doesn't mean I stop any of those things, I just take it down a notch or two.

 

Maybe CC is something that will recharge you, maybe not, but I would think long and hard before I put my dc in any school (I don't PS is evil btw and NJ has an excellent PS system overall.) Why did you choose to home-school in the first place?

[TammyinTN]

:grouphug::iagree: Why not a longer break this year. I've been off since April and honestly with the move and teenage daughter, daughter in Kuwait...I can't wrap my head around starting any earlier than August. Hang in there!

[clarkacademy]

Yeah maybe you should give it a bit. Have you thought of an online school though? You would not miss them and not be responsible and could still work with them. Whatever choice you make I am sure it will be the best as long as you follow your heart. Good luck and have a happy 4th

[Cheryl in NM]

I'm not talking about the typical "I'm tired of doing this and sure could use a break" type feeling. Usually, by this time of the summer, I'm pumped up about the upcoming school year - I've not just placed orders, but have the stuff in hand and most of it planned. Some years we were even starting school right after the 4th of July. This year, I've been putting it off. I didn't want to figure out what to use, buy it, and then plan it all out. I finally decided that I had to get my order in to Rainbow yesterday and there was none of the usual excitement for me. After placing the order, all I could think about was that I really didn't want to homeschool anymore. I'm tired of the responsibility. I'm tired of it taking over my whole life and house. I love being with my children, but I don't want to teach them anymore. The passion is gone. If my kids came to me and said they wanted to go to school, I would probably be jumping for joy except for the fact that I would miss them. Of course then the reality would hit that ds probably would have a hard time at school and I really need to work on his writing skills with him before he could go.

 

So has anyone felt like this and gotten through it or should I start preparing my kids to go to school? I have 12dd signed up for Classical Conversations, so I'm hoping that will help with her. I'm almost contemplating on just focusing on the really important stuff with 10ds so if school is in his future, he'll be better prepared for it. :001_unsure:

 

 

I was there last year. We took a longer break and I re-visited why I started homeschooling in the first place. I realized that I was overwhelmed. So, I slowed down, put my head down and took a serious look at how I was "doing" the homeschooling. I ended up adding more structure to our homeschool with more independent learning for ds. I had been intimately involved with EVERYTHING he learned before that. I stared leaving the room for the Saxon timed tests and practice work. Stuff like that, I didn't abandon him. That was my answer to my problem.

 

IMO, I think you don't want to put your kids in traditional school. Maybe you've been OVER structuring? Put some thought into it, but don't make an emotional decision. Emotional decisions rarely are the correct decision for me.

[NCMom]

I was and am still, to some degree, burned out on planning, organizing, buying - the whole nine yards.

 

After thinking long and hard, I decided that we would do CC for this upcoming year. I really need something different and my dd's are super excited. BUT, I felt this way last year and made myself wait pretty much the whole year before deciding on a change, lol. My two do not want to go to school and this was the best alternative we could find. I don't love everything they offer, but it looks like a good fit for us at this time. We all agree that deadlines and outside accountability will be a great thing for us this year. :blushing:

 

My second choice was going to be going w/a full curric like Sonlight or MFW but I just couldn't get a vision for how that would work for us at this time.

 

I feel much more relaxed knowing that to some extent, our year is already pre-planned. I'm starting to get more excited.

 

Hang in there - sometimes ya just gotta think outside the box, relax and take a break to get your rhythm back.:001_smile:

 

hth,

Georgia

[Brindee]

I don't think it'd be bad at all to structure what your ds10 does around what he needs to work on the MOST! Take things slower! It's okay!

 

 

 

What is CC?

[Trivium Academy]

I just wanted to give you a hug, :grouphug: and say that although I haven't experienced that feeling yet, it's probably very normal. I will say that I've been seriously entertaining the idea of sending ds4 to preschool instead of keeping him at home, and just start K with him at home next year. The pros and cons list is pretty even. I have this thought that preschool might help calm him down some but then again, just having a solid routine at home might do that too.

 

Anyways, here's another :grouphug: and a prayer for you.

[nakitty]

I make a list of all the problems I can easily predict I would have if I sent them to public school....and, frankly, as thankless and frustrating as HSing can be...I am just not convinced that sending them to PS would make my life any easier....

[Diana in OR]

As someone who will have both my dc in ps next year, I'm going to offer a contrary opinion.

 

I do agree w/the other posters that you should give it some time. Your lack of motivation may pass. However, I think you really need to evaluate why you are feeling this way. For the first few years of our hsing journey, I felt a bit stuck. I felt like I had no other option than to hs. That made it seem like drudgery at times. When I finally changed my perspective and began to see hsing as an option, that gave me a whole new view of things. It may be that it's time to send one or both of your dc to school, or find a different schooling option for them (like some mentioned, online classes).

 

For my older ds, when I started feeling like you, I tried to ignore it and plow through hsing. I ended up enrolling him in ps high school 6 weeks into his 9th grade year, and it would have been in his best interest to have started at the beginning of the year.

[Kathleen in VA]

I make a list of all the problems I can easily predict I would have if I sent them to public school....and, frankly, as thankless and frustrating as HSing can be...I am just not convinced that sending them to PS would make my life any easier....

 

Great advice - so many of the folks I know who send their kids to public school still end up having to fight to get their kids to do the homework, or have teachers who give unreasonable amounts of homework or have unreasonable expectations in some other area, or their children are bullied on the bus to school, or they end up having to sit and do the homework with their child because he/she doesn't get it, or they spend tons of money on supplies, equipment, clothes, etc. for school.

 

I honestly think a lot of public school parents do the same, if not more, work than homeschool parents and they have to put up with all the side effects of peer pressure, differing worldviews (whatever they may be), expenses, families being fractured by the contrived "grade" divisions, etc.

 

It is work to homeschool and I have definitely felt that lack of excitement you described. I just know that it wouldn't be any less work to send the kids to school - it would just be different work and I would lose a lot of family togetherness and our relationships would be more strained. I just don't think it is worth it.

[Krista in LA]

Thank you everyone. I'm not going to do anything crazy and go sign them up for school right now or anything. The feelings I've been having of wanting to quit are so different from anything I've felt before with regards to being tired of it, and that's why I posted. I'm not sure how to get through this. Thanks for all of the advice and hugs. My dh is going to be out of town for a couple of weeks for work and my dd has some camps she is going to do, so I'm going to try to take that time to just relax, rejuvenate, and perhaps pamper myself. Yes, ds will still be home, but he is pretty low maintenance and will probably be spending lots of time playing outside with his friends. :001_smile: Then, I'm going to dive into my planning and we'll probably start when the public schools start. I'm really hoping that once I start planning, I'll feel a little better about it all.

 

Thanks again.

[tibbyl]

Register them in public school in whatever grade their age would be in. They probably are more prepared than you think.

 

The decision, of course, is retractable if any of you are unhappy with it.

 

You still will be helping with homework in evening, so you will continue playing active role in their education.

 

Oh, and call Rainbow today or Monday to see if you can cancel order.

[tibbyl]

Sorry, Krista. I did not read all the posts before I replied. Now I see that you have decided not to register them for public school.

[Plucky]

Thank you everyone. I'm not going to do anything crazy and go sign them up for school right now or anything. The feelings I've been having of wanting to quit are so different from anything I've felt before with regards to being tired of it, and that's why I posted. I'm not sure how to get through this. Thanks for all of the advice and hugs. My dh is going to be out of town for a couple of weeks for work and my dd has some camps she is going to do, so I'm going to try to take that time to just relax, rejuvenate, and perhaps pamper myself. Yes, ds will still be home, but he is pretty low maintenance and will probably be spending lots of time playing outside with his friends. :001_smile: Then, I'm going to dive into my planning and we'll probably start when the public schools start. I'm really hoping that once I start planning, I'll feel a little better about it all.

 

Thanks again.

 

Let us know what you decide and how you feel. It's hard sometimes to get the desire back. I've looked up the tuition prices at our local private school after many a homeschool year. You are not abnormal. :grouphug:

[Jenny in Florida]

First of all, I'm not one of those folks who "takes it one year at a time." At some point, it became clear to me that homeschooling--even on a bad day--was better for my kids than school. So, quitting, for me, is not an option. Therefore, when I'm feeling "done," I sit down and look at what we can change to make it better.

 

So, when I had just had it with fighting non-stop with my son over certain subjects, we either quit doing those subjects or radically changed the way they are done.

 

When I found myself reduced to tears arguing with either child about scheduling and what assignment needs to be done next, I experimented with different approaches to making assignments and, ultimately, turned over much of that responsibility to the student in question.

 

And, when none of that is enough, I spend some time researching what the options would be for school if I actually did give in. Once I prove to myself--again--that homeschooling, while not ideal, is the best alternative we have available, I can suck it up and commit to continuing.

 

It's tough, though. I don't want to make it sound trivial. I've certainly had a couple of crisis periods during which I absolutely would have thrown in the towel if I could have done so easily. In my case, because of my kids' special situation, I've always known that the public school down the street was just plain not an option. So, putting either one in school would have required a financial commitment and lifestyle changes that were simply not feasible for me at those moments.

 

Honestly, two years ago, if I'd been in a position to write a nice, fat check and enroll my son in a private school . . .

 

But I wasn't, and here we are two years later happily homeschooling. So, I'm glad we got through the crisis.

[mchel210]

When I feel that way.......I take a break and stop homeschooling !! I start taking field trips...or cooking classes at home. Anything but traditional school!

 

We Unschool at that point.

 

It saved me this year.

 

Now we are fine. My kids...(esp my son) need to be home so we make it work. But I still have my moments of giving up at times. I usually find that it is when we need to stop, relax and take it easy.

 

If you really feel they need to be in school...then send them. Im sure you cant make the wrong decision. It may be great for the whole family. And all you do is look back later and the wonderful years...you got to have while homeschooling...with no regrets.

 

You can always bring them home if needed.

 

This year we are using SL and it has taken that stressed feeling away....and I feel much calmer now with the schedule. I didnt realize that just having a schedule would take away that anxiety and pressure. Maybe as the previous poster stated...it might be the structure?

[cat in black]

This happened to me when my son was in 9th grade. We had just been doing it too many years and I was empty inside, barren in the brain, deflating like a squashed tick. So I ordered the Abeka correspondence school on DVD's. For that year, school was TV and I had some me-time again. That one year gave me back my passion for homeschooling. The next two years flew by and we learned so much together. My son will be a full time college student this fall. I am sooooooooooooo glad we stuck it out! I wouldn't trade our years of memories for a million bucks. And I couldn't have done it without the year of TV school.

[titianmom]

I make a list of all the problems I can easily predict I would have if I sent them to public school....and, frankly, as thankless and frustrating as HSing can be...I am just not convinced that sending them to PS would make my life any easier....

 

I agree. Just hang out with the public school kids their age and see what they know and how they act, and you'll be rolling again in homeschool without a complaint in no time, lol.

 

Seriously, I know there are kids out there in PS that are doing just fine. But so many aren't. The kids we know envy my daughter, and they call her "the brain". She isn't Einstein, she just has a personal tutor. :D

 

...and then there are the hidden costs; gas, clothing, books, supplies, endless driving, dealing with the not-so-great socialization they too often get, etc.

 

I have a good friend who thinks "the system" is the best for kids. She just spent $160 for an hour section with a shrink for her daughter, because she's being verbally and emotionally abused by her peers at school.

 

I remember going through that, myself. Socialization isn't what it's cracked up to be. I know that isn't your point, but it too often is a problem out there.

Take care,

Kim

[PollyOR]

Krista, I agree with many of the posters...find a way to fill your bucket! :grouphug:

 

I also wanted to share that my oldest attended public school. Of course, there are pros and cons with all forms of education, but I have to say that my experience with her is what keeps me in the homeschooling business with my younger children. I used to visit the school to drop things off in her locker and those trips often felt like an assault (auditorially and visually). Are there any summer schools in session that you can visit?

[CLHCO]

I had never had burn-out before. At the beginning of last year, our 8th, I had no motivation. I wasn't interested in ordering material, I wasn't in the mood to try to keep up with any type of record keeping, etc. I would have liked to get inspired by thinking again about why I was homeschooling, reading good books, etc., but I really didn't want to hear all that again. It was all BTDT.

 

However, for us public school is not an option. It does not go with any of our beliefs in pretty much any realm, political, social, family, religion. I knew I couldn't back off on that because of an emotional fizzle out.

 

I just rode it out, as uninspiring as I fear that may be. I played the part in only a half-functioning manner, meaning I did make sure we covered some of the most basic subjects I felt manditory, though not always exactly on "schedule". My older daughters were expected to do their own learning in most things, my son just did some math, handwriting and reading but not every single day.

 

I didn't keep records, I just kept the big girls moving since they had to get ready for high school, and sat down with my son now and then.

 

You know what? I got over it, but only in the last month or so. I'm biting at the bit now to get started on planning for schooling but we're in the middle of the 4-H rush and I know we have curriculum to finish up from last year first.

 

Try just riding it out for now, doing the minimum that will match your needs. Dump all science and history for good DVDs at the library, go with a fairly independent learning curriculum choice, even if it's not the best ever, and see if it fades with time. You can reevaluate if it doesn't.