Jean in Newcastle Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 If you verbally correct a teen - on their behavior or their schoolwork or their work habits or whatever - what kind of response do you look for? I realize that this might be a bit different from the response you actually get, but what are you hoping for? For example - if my boss (back when I had one) corrected me, I would listen and would perhaps ask a question or two for clarification of what he/she wanted from me and would give some sort of an equivalent of "Yes, ma'am. I'll get right on that." But I was an adult. What might be a reasonable expectation of a teen - even if it is just what we should shoot for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Assuming the correction was given kindly (not necessarily perfectly scripted to be 100% guaranteed not to offend, even of the crankiest PMS day) rather than for the thousandth time through clenched teeth, I would hope for an "Oh, OK! I understand, thank you!" But honestly, anything better than rolling eyes, a grunt, and storming off muttering is good for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 I expect an acknowledgement of the situation. I'm open to discussion if they believe I'm wrong but we don't let it escalate to rudeness. If it's a behavior, I expect them to remember our conversation. If it's something like school work, I expect corrections to be made immediately, or with permission, to correct it the next time they do that subject. And yes, sometimes we have had to have the same conversation more than once. It's learning in progress I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerbread Mama Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Ideally, I'd shoot for "Yes Ma'am." If they've done something egregious, then an "I'm sorry." would also be in line with what I'm hoping to hear. I DON'T like arguing over whether or not they are in the right, sarcasm, eye rolling, sulking/seething, refusing to make eye contact, the ever popular teen expression "Whatever" (or, if you are my niece apparently it's "WhatEV", because you're far too cool to even finish a word), or something worse like flipping the bird or cursing. None of that is tolerated here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joani Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 My oldest gives pretty good responses - usually something like "Oh okay, that makes sense", "Sorry, mom" or "I'll try it again" or he asks me to explain. There's no big "thanks mom, you're so helpful and kind and whatever would I do without you?", but I think what we've got going now is fine. My daughter usually groans and walks away, so we're working on that here too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 What would I like to happen? You're right, Mom. Sorry about that. What happens? An eye roll and a groan. We are working on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 A resounding "Yes M'am!" :D My minimum expectation was a polite response, no eye rolling or sassy remarks. I never minded discussing the issue if ds presented and argued his case logically and respectfully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamajo Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Yes, mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 14, 2012 Author Share Posted June 14, 2012 Thank you. Sometimes I wonder if my expectations are reasonable, you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Behavior: I would like, "you're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." I get, "of course, I'm always in the wrong," or similar snarky or over-defensive response. But ... if I let it go, she always comes back later with the response I wanted. She's a really good kid. But like anything else we're trying to teach them, sometimes when it comes to behavior you have to let them sit with the wrong answer for a while before they come up with the right answer. Schoolwork: I get either "Oh, you're right, thanks" or, gently, "Mom, I don't think you understand the math. It's okay, Why don't you just help Middle Sister with her Latin and I'll handle this?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 14, 2012 Author Share Posted June 14, 2012 Behavior:I would like, "you're right, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." I get, "of course, I'm always in the wrong," or similar snarky or over-defensive response. But ... if I let it go, she always comes back later with the response I wanted. She's a really good kid. But like anything else we're trying to teach them, sometimes when it comes to behavior you have to let them sit with the wrong answer for a while before they come up with the right answer. Schoolwork: I get either "Oh, you're right, thanks" or, gently, "Mom, I don't think you understand the math. It's okay, Why don't you just help Middle Sister with her Latin and I'll handle this?" I get tears. It doesn't matter which gender of kid in my house. It's tears. Every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Eye rolls and mumbling are not acceptable. Ever. You respond kindly or I will correct again. You will then be given a chance to respond again. And again.:D. If you act like a two year old you will be corrected like one.:D:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I get tears. It doesn't matter which gender of kid in my house. It's tears. Every time. Oh, I was assuming the tears. Boys too, then? That's a relief. When all three girls are weeping simultaneously, we call it "the Trifecta." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 15, 2012 Author Share Posted June 15, 2012 Oh, I was assuming the tears. Boys too, then? That's a relief. When all three girls are weeping simultaneously, we call it "the Trifecta." :D You don't know how much better you make me feel! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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