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The time has come...we simply MUST relocate! Help me!


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I started to describe the main reasons why we must move, but it got too long. :tongue_smilie: Take my word for it...we're miserable and desperate! 6 years of our lives gone despite our best efforts to belong and participate in a new life here. Blah! if you were me, and you were facing a house full of decades of stuff, really neat stuff lol, but a ton of it in every room and the basement, how would you do a massive purge of most of it, furniture and curriculum, too, so you could be physically and emotionally unburdened to start planning your escape? ;) How do decide what to keep? We're looking at getting a travel trailer for recreation (so the kids can have some kind of life besides sitting and reading and watching old movies and doing schoolwork) and to use during a relocation when that need arises. I am constantly taking donations, but that is such a slow process. I need to do big things now. How do I get the house...and our lives...ready to GO?

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I've moved a lot in my life (!) for various reasons....and before I put an item in a moving box I ask myself "Is this worth the money it'll cost to move?" - if yes, then pack it immediately; if unsure, put it aside to rethink it in a few days; and if not, then chuck it into a black plastic trash bag (Why black? So it's out of sight, out of mind - done with completely!) I do the exact same thing after I move when I'm unpacking but in reverse and it's amazing how many black trash bags you can fill up even after you moved!

 

Myra

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Can you have a yard sale to get rid of things?

 

I'm not a saver of things, so something has to have pretty significant sentimental value in order for me to keep it. If it doesn't evoke strong emotional ties to something or if I don't use it more than once a year, it goes. That's how I purge.

 

:grouphug: Good luck with your purging and your new adventure.

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We have started a similar project at my mother's home. My step-father passed away 6 weeks ago and he was a mild hoarder. We were able to declutter the entire house within a week but the garage is an entirely different story. The garage is huge and is packed from floor to ceiling with "stuff".:001_huh: My husband is great at organizing and has a plan for us to attack it efficiently. We can't just throw everything away because my step-dad would buy junk and also treasures. I have found so many nice collectibles stuffed in weird places. We will have to go through every box.

 

Our plan is to have a dumpster delivered to the house, have a truck from a donation place like the Salvation Army, and a truck (maybe a U-Haul) to take things to an auction to sell. Then as we go through things we can put it in the appropriate container. We are hoping it will take about a week. It will be exhausting but it will be such a blessing to my mother. She hasn't been able to park in her garage for 20 years and we plan on correcting that!

 

Good luck!

 

Elise in NC

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Donate as you go. Don't try to save it all up for one massive donating dump. If you do that, the stuff will either impede your progress by being in the way or it will reintegrate into your home.

 

Just start sorting. At the end of the day, throw away the garbage, put away stuff you have sorted and want to keep, and make a quick run to Salvation Army or Goodwill or AmVets or whatever and get rid of the pile.

 

This way, each day your home becomes lighter and free-er, and this will fuel the excitement to make this happen.

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I think it's Flylady where I heard, do a 27 item purge. Go through a room and find 27 items to get rid of. Some it will be trash. But work at it until there are 27 items. Then take a break. You can do purges every day or one in the morning, one in the afternoon. It will take a while, but it will get done.

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Do it in reverse - move the things you absolutely have to keep (family heirlooms, current school supplies) to an off limits area and hire an estate auction company to come in and give you an estimate of what they will take, what will sell, how much etc. It seems like the only way to just get it done. Any thing else involves hours of sorting and hundreds of trips to the dump and charities. It is what we did when my father in law passed away. I suppose they would do it for living people also :)

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Thank you. I am desperately seeking to 'fuel the excitement to make this happen'! Great ideas, ladies! I was in the basement this morning, looking at the extra dining table and 6 chairs, the extra headboards, the disassembled bunk beds, the hundreds of 'extra' books...the shelves with 3 crockpots and holiday platters and beautiful baskets and piles of dress-up costumes...I am bewildered. I cannot imagine moving again, but we are dying here. :tongue_smilie: My black haired husband is now completely white headed...the girls have no one to call a friend...I think all this great *stuff* is such a burden and is the main reason we're still here. Really, I can see us living in a new, vibrant community with lakes and Christmas lights and friendly people who wouldn't treat us like we're from Mars...the joy! I've got to try and figure out how to part with my books. That will be nearly impossible. Half a lifetime of accumulation of things with memories attached.

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Thank you. I am desperately seeking to 'fuel the excitement to make this happen'! Great ideas, ladies! I was in the basement this morning, looking at the extra dining table and 6 chairs, the extra headboards, the disassembled bunk beds, the hundreds of 'extra' books...the shelves with 3 crockpots and holiday platters and beautiful baskets and piles of dress-up costumes...I am bewildered. I cannot imagine moving again, but we are dying here. :tongue_smilie: My black haired husband is now completely white headed...the girls have no one to call a friend...I think all this great *stuff* is such a burden and is the main reason we're still here. Really, I can see us living in a new, vibrant community with lakes and Christmas lights and friendly people who wouldn't treat us like we're from Mars...the joy! I've got to try and figure out how to part with my books. That will be nearly impossible. Half a lifetime of accumulation of things with memories attached.

In a case like this I would ask that you seriously consider that each person take 10 things that mean something to them and then ditch the rest. Really do a starting over. Nothing that can bring bad memories to the new situation.

 

That way when you get where you are going you can do a hunt for the perfect item(s). Make an adventure out of it and it will give you a way/reason to get out of the house on the weekends and after school to meet people. Go to yard sales, antique stores, farmer's markets, craft fairs.

 

Plus 10 things will add up fast and storage in a travel trailer is very limited.

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In a case like this I would ask that you seriously consider that each person take 10 things that mean something to them and then ditch the rest. Really do a starting over. Nothing that can bring bad memories to the new situation.

 

That way when you get where you are going you can do a hunt for the perfect item(s). Make an adventure out of it and it will give you a way/reason to get out of the house on the weekends and after school to meet people. Go to yard sales, antique stores, farmer's markets, craft fairs.

 

Plus 10 things will add up fast and storage in a travel trailer is very limited.

 

:iagree:

 

Hunting for new at your new place will be a lot of fun.

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What I remember is that the "stuff" is designed to be used and loved. If it isn't blessing my family than I should pass it on to someone that CAN be blessed by it. Those extra books that are sitting in a basement could totally make someone's day. And the extra beds could be a life saver for a family that had another kid and has no way to afford new beds. Think about how happy your stuff will make someone else, and TRUST the universe/God/Fate to return the favor when you need something.

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Just popping in to cheer you on. :)

 

Since you don't have a timeline (yet?), just plug away at it every day. Keep sorting. I tend to use freecycle, as our group is very active, and I know that I can put an item on the porch and have it disappear. Plus, I like choosing where items will go, when I'm really emotional about it. Somehow it feels better.

 

We are in the same boat, and I could have written the same posts about our area. We are desperate to leave, as we are fish out of water here, but we have a house full of gorgeous, hand-made items, all with memories attached - and I detest moving. I've moved 30+ times in my life, and at some point just want to stop.

 

I finally decided that the memory is not in the item, it's in my heart. Many items were inherited from my professor/mentor/best friend when she passed away, and many are from my lifetime involved in the art show world, so I know the artist and each piece brings back a series of conversations, dinners out together, fun. I find myself evaluating each piece, and when I'm hung up on the emotion of a piece but it doesn't fit my other objectives (is it beautiful? do I love it? is it useful?)... I find myself repeating over and over, "She is not in this chair, this dish, this [fill in the blank]." It's helped.

 

As for books - that's the hardest. But someone here mentioned that they when they go through their books, they have a "keep" box and a "donate" box. They hold each book and contemplate giving it away. If what they feel is genuine regret because they are going to re-read the book, they keep it. If what they feel is guilt... It goes to the donate box. That helped me a lot. I didn't describe it as eloquently, and probably mangled their technique, so maybe that WTMer will pop in here and clarify!

 

Cheering you on!

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One thing we did was donate a lot of stuff to a church in a poor area. I was friends with the pastor and his wife. They knew several families that were in need. They picked up the stuff and had a morning at their church that was a give away for these families. I assume the things that people didn't want went to a donation center. We did take pictures and make an inventory for tax purposes of the things that we donated.

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Thank you. I am desperately seeking to 'fuel the excitement to make this happen'! Great ideas, ladies! I was in the basement this morning, looking at the extra dining table and 6 chairs, the extra headboards, the disassembled bunk beds, the hundreds of 'extra' books...the shelves with 3 crockpots and holiday platters and beautiful baskets and piles of dress-up costumes...I am bewildered. I cannot imagine moving again, but we are dying here. :tongue_smilie: My black haired husband is now completely white headed...the girls have no one to call a friend...I think all this great *stuff* is such a burden and is the main reason we're still here. Really, I can see us living in a new, vibrant community with lakes and Christmas lights and friendly people who wouldn't treat us like we're from Mars...the joy! I've got to try and figure out how to part with my books. That will be nearly impossible. Half a lifetime of accumulation of things with memories attached.

 

 

write this down. Put it on the fridge or write it on your shirt as you go through this stuff.

 

Order a dumpster. Borrow a friends pickup for the weekend. Then spend 3 whole days purging.

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If you want to seriously purge, do it the other way around: think about how much room you will have available to take stuff and then pick whatever things are important to you that have to come.

Get rid of the rest - yard sale, giving away, donating.

 

I once moved overseas for two years with one backpack and one suitcase; it was remarkable how little of my stuff I missed.

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If you want to seriously purge, do it the other way around: think about how much room you will have available to take stuff and then pick whatever things are important to you that have to come.

Get rid of the rest - yard sale, giving away, donating.

 

I once moved overseas for two years with one backpack and one suitcase; it was remarkable how little of my stuff I missed.

 

:iagree: this.

 

but also its important to keep memories.

 

we've moved a lot, and have used different approaches. what has worked for me best in the end has been to set limits. eg. everyone needs one bed, except dh and i who can share. we choose those, the others go. i need one table. the others can go. i need 3 pair of jeans. the others can go. i have three book cases. all books must fit on the book cases. the others go.

 

so i work in categories (eg. furniture first, because its big). label what is staying. get rid of what is going.

 

if you can set a garage sale day and work towards it, that's great. maybe choose the first saturday of each month, and spend the rest of the month getting ready for it?

 

auction houses, book sellers, etc are great resources, too.

 

for me, the key is getting started. if i think about it too much, i have 19 different plans, and none of them get done.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

ann

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If I wanted to fuel the excitement to get rid of things, I would choose a charity or cause that was really important to me and then hold a huge yard sale to collect funds to donate. I might even make posters, etc. to share with purchasers what I'm doing with the money and make it a party-like atmosphere.

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Thank you. I am desperately seeking to 'fuel the excitement to make this happen'! Great ideas, ladies! I was in the basement this morning, looking at the extra dining table and 6 chairs, the extra headboards, the disassembled bunk beds, the hundreds of 'extra' books...the shelves with 3 crockpots and holiday platters and beautiful baskets and piles of dress-up costumes...I am bewildered. I cannot imagine moving again, but we are dying here. :tongue_smilie: My black haired husband is now completely white headed...the girls have no one to call a friend...I think all this great *stuff* is such a burden and is the main reason we're still here. Really, I can see us living in a new, vibrant community with lakes and Christmas lights and friendly people who wouldn't treat us like we're from Mars...the joy! I've got to try and figure out how to part with my books. That will be nearly impossible. Half a lifetime of accumulation of things with memories attached.

 

Others have given you plenty of great ideas on the mechanics of making this happen, but I just wanted to give you these: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I have no idea what your story is, but my heart hurts at these bolded parts. I pray you find the peace and happiness you long for!

 

~coffee~

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When I moved from one state to another I would pick a room each week to work on. I would purge everything I didn't use often and donate the rest to charity. I picked several charities to give to such as the homeless shelter and battered women shelter with books going to the library. There also was a church in the area that helped refugees find homes and furnish them. The more I gave the better it felt. I was not burdened with all this stuff and was able to help people in need. The first room was the hardest because I wanted to keep most everything, the last room I had to keep reminding myself that some of this I would need. I ended up purging the first couple of rooms twice:)

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I've got to try and figure out how to part with my books. That will be nearly impossible. Half a lifetime of accumulation of things with memories attached.

 

You don't have to purge all at once. Start by picking out the books you can easily part with, and immediately donate them to charity. Then work on something else - outgrown clothes, for example. Cycle through your items, then cycle back to the books. Look again - anything else you can part with? Take the next layer and give them away. And so on.

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I cannot imagine moving again, but we are dying here. :tongue_smilie: My black haired husband is now completely white headed...the girls have no one to call a friend....

 

:grouphug: I know exactly how you feel. I am so dog-tired of giving NY "one more chance." Dh, dd, and I have tried again and again and again, and I have come to the same conclusion you have- We're dying here. I have actually considered moving in with my parents in VA *shudder* just to get my child away from this horrid place. Of course, that would mean serious downsizing. I have actually had a bit of luck with Craigslist recently, and whatever doesn't sell there within a reasonable amount of time is going to be donated to a local church that does a massive mid-summer rummage sale.

 

Best of luck to you in getting to where you want to be! (Actually, judging from your location, I think you might be just where I want to be! Funny, in a sad sort of way!)

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Thank you. I am desperately seeking to 'fuel the excitement to make this happen'! Great ideas, ladies! I was in the basement this morning, looking at the extra dining table and 6 chairs, the extra headboards, the disassembled bunk beds, the hundreds of 'extra' books...the shelves with 3 crockpots and holiday platters and beautiful baskets and piles of dress-up costumes...I am bewildered. I cannot imagine moving again, but we are dying here. :tongue_smilie: My black haired husband is now completely white headed...the girls have no one to call a friend...I think all this great *stuff* is such a burden and is the main reason we're still here. Really, I can see us living in a new, vibrant community with lakes and Christmas lights and friendly people who wouldn't treat us like we're from Mars...the joy! I've got to try and figure out how to part with my books. That will be nearly impossible. Half a lifetime of accumulation of things with memories attached.

 

If I were in your situation I would either enlist the help of a super-organizer friend, or I would hire a professional organizer. Seriously. I think an extra hand, either free or hired, would be the best way to get momentum on this job, fast. I would come help you myself if I were in your area.

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Ask everyone to keep only the things they really love and really need.

 

We have purchased a lot of great items on Craigslist.....have you thought of listing the big items there?

 

I also loved the thread here about leaving items you don't want any more by the curb and posting a Craigslist ad selling it for say, $10, and listing the location. If you list it as free, they said people don't come get it. If you list a price, they come steal it. (But that's good for you if you were going to donate it anyway....saves you some gas money!:D)

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I would pick a room. Maybe the room were most of your very precious stuff is, and start there. Because on our cross-country move, after the first day of packing up, I got real sick of having to do it and I took the overwhelming task to freecycle.org. I freecycled everything that I wasn't 100% on. I say just start boxing up for a day, and you will see how easy it is to start tossing everything out. Good luck! It is hard work, but it does feel good.

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Thank you. I am desperately seeking to 'fuel the excitement to make this happen'! Great ideas, ladies! I was in the basement this morning, looking at the extra dining table and 6 chairs, the extra headboards, the disassembled bunk beds, the hundreds of 'extra' books...the shelves with 3 crockpots and holiday platters and beautiful baskets and piles of dress-up costumes...I am bewildered. I cannot imagine moving again, but we are dying here. :tongue_smilie: My black haired husband is now completely white headed...the girls have no one to call a friend...I think all this great *stuff* is such a burden and is the main reason we're still here. Really, I can see us living in a new, vibrant community with lakes and Christmas lights and friendly people who wouldn't treat us like we're from Mars...the joy! I've got to try and figure out how to part with my books. That will be nearly impossible. Half a lifetime of accumulation of things with memories attached.

 

Just start! I find that once I get on a roll with de-cluttering I actually get at least as much pleasure out of getting rid of stuff as I ever do from acquiring stuff. In your case I would get rid of the big stuff first--it will make a bigger psychological impact having all that extra space and help you then tackle the "small" things like books.

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Ladies, you've all made me cry today! Happy tears. :) I am so encouraged. Your suggestions and sweet comments have been such a balm to my tired mind. The girls and I are less than 2 weeks away from finishing this school year so this will be our summer project. Our goal is to get ready to move away, back to family and familiar things. I took some time this morning to talk to them both about this. We popped corn and sat on floor pillows and imagined how lovely it would be to start ridding our home of all the lovely, but burdensome goodies. They were all for it. I'm getting them each a box for their special *keepers*. Dd18, however, is the English major, literary gal, and we may have to rent a temp. storage building just to house all her beloved books. ;) I think we will start with the basement things, and it will be a good model for them to let go of perfectly nice things that will bless others. I am giving serious thought to gathering tons of curriculum and opening my home to the community and trying to sell it all for cheap. Not sure if anybody would come way out here, but if I put an ad in the paper, they might. I would donate what didn't sell. Still not sure if we should tote donations weekly (we've been taking small amounts monthly) or have a garage sale or auction that would be much quicker (but more frightening lol). But at least y'all have lit the spark. Many, many thanks. :001_smile:

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  • 1 month later...
But at least y'all have lit the spark.

 

Is the spark still burning??

 

We want to "get rid of everything" so we can buy a liveaboard sailboat. But we don't know when/if we'll be able to... Two years? Ten years? Have to learn to sail first! The uncertainty of it all is making it hard for me to get rid of anything. :svengo:

 

I was going to post a thread when I remembered this one. And wondered how you were doing. :D

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I started to describe the main reasons why we must move, but it got too long. :tongue_smilie: Take my word for it...we're miserable and desperate! 6 years of our lives gone despite our best efforts to belong and participate in a new life here. Blah! if you were me, and you were facing a house full of decades of stuff, really neat stuff lol, but a ton of it in every room and the basement, how would you do a massive purge of most of it, furniture and curriculum, too, so you could be physically and emotionally unburdened to start planning your escape? ;) How do decide what to keep? We're looking at getting a travel trailer for recreation (so the kids can have some kind of life besides sitting and reading and watching old movies and doing schoolwork) and to use during a relocation when that need arises. I am constantly taking donations, but that is such a slow process. I need to do big things now. How do I get the house...and our lives...ready to GO?

 

I'm sorry you aren't happy. I miss the Blue Ridge, but not all of the people. ;)

 

When we made our cross country move, we called Habitat for Humanity and Salvation Army and made a good long list for our fellow homeschoolers.

 

Best wishes on your move. :001_smile:

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