High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

[pqr]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/high-school-teacher-tells-graduating-students-special-article-1.1092109

 

Interesting speech to High School seniors.

 

"Yes, you've been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped," McCullough said in his speech. “Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again. You've been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored. You've been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie. ... But do not get the idea you're anything special. Because you're not."

 

 

.....

 

He continued to tell it like it is. Americans have come to appreciate accolades more than genuine achievement, he said, and will compromise standards in order to secure a higher spot on the social totem pole.

"As a consequence, we cheapen worthy endeavors, and building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of the Guatemalans," he said.

Edited June 8, 2012 by pqr

[Impish]

I think he's being blunt and honest.

[pqr]

I think he's being blunt and honest.

 

 

I agree, I doubt it will wake many up until they need to find a job (but that may be 4 years away)

[brett_ashley]

another good speech to high schoolers:

 

"You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you."

[regentrude]

Yep.

He's telling the uncomfortable truth.

 

Inflated self-esteem that is based on no tangible achievement but rather on receiving gold stars for trying even if the result is lacking is an epidemic. As is the desire to be treated to exceptions from the rules because one is "special".

 

I teach intro college courses. Some kids would really have benefited from somebody telling them this earlier... alas, they probably would not have believed him.

[*Michelle*]

another good speech to high schoolers:

 

"You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you."

 

"Best chapel speaker I have ever seen."

Edited June 8, 2012 by *Michelle*
Got the darn quote wrong!

[regentrude]

Yes, but not everyone had the coddling. Some people really did work dang hard to survive and get to where they are. So you tell them they suck and so do their efforts? Why?

 

 

At that school? Almost everybody had the material coddling. Only 4% of the students receive free or reduced lunch - an indication for an extremely affluent student body. Which is one of the aspects the teacher was most certainly referring to.

 

In addition, modern educational trends do tend to focus on encouraging overblown self-esteem in the absence of real achievement.

It does speak to me, because I see the effect of this and the feeling of entitlement constantly at work.

[happyhomemaker]

another good speech to high schoolers:

 

"You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you."

 

:lol::lol::lol: Love that movie!

 

I agree that the speaker's ideas were things that kids should hear, but I wonder if graduation is really the time to convey them. Even privileged kids should be able to celebrate their high school graduation and feel good about themselves for it. I guess I'm just picturing a family there to celebrate the graduation with grandma all dressed up and beaming and then having to sit through a speech about how her grandson isn't special. It just seems sad to me. Again, it's not because kids shouldn't be told these things, but because it seems inappropriate to the occasion.

[pqr]

:lol::lol::lol: Love that movie!

 

I agree that the speaker's ideas were things that kids should hear, but I wonder if graduation is really the time to convey them. Even privileged kids should be able to celebrate their high school graduation and feel good about themselves for it. I guess I'm just picturing a family there to celebrate the graduation with grandma all dressed up and beaming and then having to sit through a speech about how her grandson isn't special. It just seems sad to me. Again, it's not because kids shouldn't be told these things, but because it seems inappropriate to the occasion.

 

 

There is nothing wrong with being (economically) privileged the issue is spoiled and if the last chance to state this is graduation so be it. I would love to have had the wherewithall to make my children truly economically privileged, it is the American Dream..... perhaps my grandchildren.

 

Of course, growing up American does make one truly privileged....add to that loving parents and the world is their oyster.

Edited June 8, 2012 by pqr

[Impish]

Yes, but not everyone had the coddling. Some people really did work dang hard to survive and get to where they are. So you tell them they suck and so do their efforts? Why?

 

I guess that all just doesn't speak to me. :glare:

I don't see how 'you're not special' = 'you suck'

[stripe]

I think that misses the mark. One should be special to one's family and community. One may not be so important to the rest of the world, but what's the point in talking like this? I doubt this speech will cause any great moments of self-realization.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think that misses the mark. One should be special to one's family and community. One may not be so important to the rest of the world, but what's the point in talking like this? I doubt this speech will cause any great moments of self-realization.

 

:iagree:

 

Yeah it's like giving a speech at someone's wedding about all the negative aspects of marriage.

 

:iagree:

 

I wasn't impressed.

 

The message is what? You are all spoiled, cossetted, ignorant, naive, lazy, entitled, and worse because of my generation and how we chose to raise you. We didn't let you climb up the slides or play dodgeball. We didn't let you choose teams. We gave you participation trophies. We let you play video games for hours every day because it was safer than letting you take a walk or ride your bike in your own suburban neighborhood. We didn't bother informing you until now that we screwed up your brains and your character, but believe me, you are so screwed up. You're probably irrevocably screwed up. And, by the way, you won't be able to pay back your college loans or even get a job, so don't even think adulthood is going to work out for you. You'll have to keep living with your parents, you know, the people who failed to prepare you for these times, but you'll be safe in their basement. And they think you are very special. But, once again, I'm here to remind you that you're not.

 

Happy Graduation! Go out and change the world! You can do anything you set your mind to, and the world depends on you!

 

Ye gods.

[regentrude]

I don't see how 'you're not special' = 'you suck'

 

:iagree:

Of course they are special to their loved ones - but they are not special in their accomplishments, and they are not special when it comes to rules. (I see the entitlement aspect frequently. Many young people have been so indoctrinated with the "you're special " message that they thin the rules that are made for everybody do not apply to them. "I am only ten points from the C, can't you do something?" "I know you said no makeups, but can't you make an exception?")

 

Also, as nice as high school graduation is, it is not really an earthshattering accomplishment. But then, in this country even preschool graduation is celebrated as if it was one...

Edited June 8, 2012 by regentrude

[Mergath]

I think the speech was great. I wish someone would have given that same speech at my high school graduation, because it took me a few years to figure all that out. Most kids can probably use a good dose of reality.

[Mergath]

:iagree:

Of course they are special to their loved ones - but they are not special in their accomplishments, and they are not special when it comes to rules. (I see the entitlement aspect frequently. Many young people have been so indoctrinated with the "you're special " message that they thin the rules that are made for everybody do not apply to them.)

 

Also, as nice as high school graduation is, it is not really an earthshattering accomplishment. But then, in this country even preschool graduation is celebrated as if it was one...

 

:iagree:

[4wildberrys]

I think that misses the mark. One should be special to one's family and community. One may not be so important to the rest of the world, but what's the point in talking like this? I doubt this speech will cause any great moments of self-realization.

 

But hopefully this message did reach some kids. I wish to God I had heard someone say something like this to my class when we graduated from our spoiled, pampered rich kid school---it would have made my life SO much easier for the first 10 years after graduating! :001_huh: I canNOT stand looking at my alumni magazine that always has bragging articles about the few rich kids that went on and became richer and successful (with that trust fund being über helpful mind you) because I am one of those 'special' students who did nothing but get married and have a couple of kids that I homeschooled. Nothing worth mentioning at any reunion or in an alumni catalog, making me feel like I am a 'loser' because I didn't make a lot of money in a successful international career and I certainly didn't marry a rich man who could pay for my,kids to attend that exclusive school. Stupid---because success is not just about money and public achievements :glare:

[Lang Syne Boardie]

 

Reminds me of the lousy college graduation speech I endured. It was so winded, negative, and pointless that at the end the crowd of graduates cheered when the speaker said "and in conclusion". I don't even think it was rude.

 

:lol:

[Rebecca VA]

n/m

Edited June 9, 2012 by Rebecca VA

[bettyandbob]

I don't think graduation is the place to give that speech. It is a family event and it is rude the parents, during a time of celebration. If you want to give this message do it at freshmen orientation when the kids are just starting high school and tell the parents to back off then.

 

High school graduation may be the only graduation the families see--even at wealthy school. When I taught at a wealthy public school we definitely had students who were not going to college. Even among those who go to college there is a significant percentage who don't "walk" even though they do graduate. My dh didn't attend his graduation from college. I know quite a few who didn't. High school graduation is the one milestone event nearly everyone attends.

 

My ds is a real pain sometimes, but if some faculty member chooses to go in this direction next week when I attend ds's graduation, I will be disappointed. I have the right to celebrate and be happy and so does my ds. Getting to this point has been a long and difficult road over the last 17.5 years.This event is a culmination of everything I did (encouraging him to crawl, reading aloud for hours, homeschooling, doing enrichment in some areas and remediation in others, watching/advising him as he entered public high school). I will not be so invested in his future education or endeavors, both because of physical distance and because it would just be inappropriate. From here he really has to make his own educational decisions. I will be proud as reaches other educational milestones, but it won't be nearly the same.

[Joyofsixreboot]

After spending two days at college orientation this week, from what I saw, I think he may have it right.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

He ripped off The Incredibles! It sounds like he saw that movie the night before and composed his speech on the way over. Anyone can give a speech like that, not everyone can be motivating and inspiring.

[stripe]

The message is what? You are all spoiled, cossetted, ignorant, naive, lazy, entitled, and worse because of my generation and how we chose to raise you. We didn't let you climb up the slides or play dodgeball. We didn't let you choose teams. We gave you participation trophies. We let you play video games for hours every day because it was safer than letting you take a walk or ride your bike in your own suburban neighborhood. We didn't bother informing you until now that we screwed up your brains and your character, but believe me, you are so screwed up. You're probably irrevocably screwed up. And, by the way, you won't be able to pay back your college loans or even get a job, so don't even think adulthood is going to work out for you. You'll have to keep living with your parents, you know, the people who failed to prepare you for these times, but you'll be safe in their basement. And they think you are very special. But, once again, I'm here to remind you that you're not.

 

Happy Graduation! Go out and change the world! You can do anything you set your mind to, and the world depends on you!

 

Ye gods.

Yeah, I don't get it. Who signed the kids up for "Free to Be You and Me," anyhow? You can't make a league where all players get a trophy and then complain that, after years of this, kids expect trophies. I also think it's bizarre to talk about high school kids having had their bottoms wiped, as if that somehow has anything to do with achievement or happened recently.

 

What's the point? Life is nasty, brutish, and short? The fact that someone is a loved individual does not mean that person cannot function in society. I don't think newborns would fare well in the Marines.

 

At any rate, I hope he gets one of these kids as his nurse or health care aide when he needs his bottom and mouth wiped in a few years. Hopefully they don't use the same tissue.

 

The details of my college graduation speech, I forgot. But it was given by a member of a religious order who has dedicated her life to helping the downtrodden. I found her inspiring. There are other ways to function. I'd rather work on building people up and changing their focus than screaming "You don't know how good you've got it!"

Edited June 9, 2012 by stripe

[pqr]

At any rate, I hope he gets one of these kids as his nurse or health care aide when he needs his bottom and mouth wiped in a few years. Hopefully they don't use the same tissue.

 

 

Rather nasty don't you think?

 

He was obviously trying to impart a lesson to the children and the idea that fair punishment for this would be to be mistreated in his infirmity....

[stripe]

Rather nasty don't you think?

 

He was obviously trying to impart a lesson to the children and the idea that fair punishment for this would be to be mistreated in his infirmity....

No.

 

Not at all. You totally misread me.

 

If he is quick to shoot off his mouth, he should be prepared for the consequences and what others may think who follow his advice about the low value of care giving.

 

I didn't say (or mean) that he SHOULD be mistreated. I think he SHOULD be grateful that people care for each other and take care of the helpless, such as infants, the sick, and the elderly. To be dismissive of those who require care, is to set oneself up for an ugly end. If you dismiss caretaking, then I think an epiphany might be important before one prepares to meet one's maker.

 

Matthew 25

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

[pqr]

No.

 

Not at all. You totally misread me.

 

If he is quick to shoot off his mouth, he should be prepared for the consequences and what others may think who follow his advice about the low value of care giving.

 

I didn't say (or mean) that he SHOULD be mistreated. I think he SHOULD be grateful that people care for each other and take care of the helpless, such as infants, the sick, and the elderly. To be dismissive of those who require care, is to set oneself up for an ugly end. If you dismiss caretaking, then I think an epiphany might be important before one prepares to meet one's maker.

 

’

 

 

I do not see him as being quick to shoot off his mouth, I suspect some great effort went into prepping his speech and that his actions were thought out and planned ahead.

Edited June 9, 2012 by pqr

[catz]

I think the speech was great. I wish someone would have given that same speech at my high school graduation, because it took me a few years to figure all that out. Most kids can probably use a good dose of reality.

 

:iagree: It's the over coddled world that help lead to us homeschool. Many of the best schools in our area are just so rich, it's ridiculous. I don't think it's healthy for kids to be drowned in luxury and over privledge constantly. Don't get me wrong, we're far from poor and my kids have many advantages and privileges. But they're not allowed to forget what the real world looks like to many. I don't plan on coddling them into adulthood.

[pqr]

I think the speech was great. I wish someone would have given that same speech at my high school graduation, because it took me a few years to figure all that out. Most kids can probably use a good dose of reality.

 

Something is wrong in the world when Mergath and I are in agreement. Now we need determine who will change their mind; as long as it is not both of us because then we would have the same problem.

[Caroline]

How..um motivating. :glare:

 

Did you listen to the whole speech? The part about go to Paris to see Paris, not to check it off a list? The part about read read read The part about success is not defined by material possessions?

[ereks mom]

FABULOUS speech! He did a great job of encouraging the graduates to live life to the fullest, not just to achieve things, but to get all the good out of life and to make it count.

[nmoira]

another good speech to high schoolers:

 

"You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you."

:D

 

More a girl's movie, but:

We're all about to enter 'The Real World'. That's what everybody says. But most of us have been in the real world for a long time. But I have something to tell everybody. I've glimpsed our future, and all I can say is... 'Go Back'.

 

Well, it's almost over. We've gone to school together for three years, and we've been through a lot. But with that training out of high school gone, what's going to happen to us? We all know what the answers are. We want to be happy, go to college, own a car, maybe raise a family. But what if that doesn't happen? I have, I have to be honest though, I have all the hope and ambition in the world. But when I think about the future, the truth is, I am really...scared.

[pqr]

Did you listen to the whole speech? The part about go to Paris to see Paris, not to check it off a list? The part about read read read The part about success is not defined by material possessions?

 

I think you are spot on, one need listen to the speech. It is superb.

[elizabeth]

Something is wrong in the world when Mergath and I are in agreement. Now we need determine who will change their mind; as long as it is not both of us because then we would have the same problem.

 

I am about to really upset the applecart. I agree with pqr and Mergath. How terrifying is that trio??:D

[nmoira]

I am about to really upset the applecart. I agree with pqr and Mergath. How terrifying is that trio??:D

Now I'm waiting for Bill to weigh in. :tongue_smilie:

[DianeW88]

:iagree:

Of course they are special to their loved ones - but they are not special in their accomplishments, and they are not special when it comes to rules. (I see the entitlement aspect frequently. Many young people have been so indoctrinated with the "you're special " message that they thin the rules that are made for everybody do not apply to them. "I am only ten points from the C, can't you do something?" "I know you said no makeups, but can't you make an exception?")

 

Also, as nice as high school graduation is, it is not really an earthshattering accomplishment. But then, in this country even preschool graduation is celebrated as if it was one...

 

 

:iagree:and amen!! I tell my kids repeatedly that the world doesn't give a rat's you know what about them. People aren't going to open doors without them proving their worth. Work hard, be honest, give your all, be your best, show people what you know, and don't think you're more entitled to anything than anyone else. Because you're not. My two oldest have done just that and are very successful because of it. Some of their friends who were coddled and told how special and amazing they were all through high school are now floundering and flunking out of college. Reality has smacked them in the face...and they can't handle it. Sad.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

Love it!!!!!!! :) Now if we could get more people to give that type of speech it might do away with so much the the entitlement mentality that is so widespread.

[Kissy]

If someone said that on my graduation day I would have felt like I sucked and they didn't know the struggle I had. We were not on reduced lunch or anything that marked me as having a struggle however, I did struggle. I lost my mom at 6 and was shuffled around my family. I lived with a neglectful father and was a single teen mom (the dad left me). I worked since I was 15 to have the things I wanted and to get out of my home. No one at my school knew it because there was nothing that marked me as any of this. My point is just because this school seems like they were coddled maybe they weren't and just because they have money doesn't mean they didn't struggle. I think it was awful timing to lump everyone up and say that. What gave me the strength to get through everything I went through was that someone made me feel special. I was a 2000 graduate and here they made a big deal about being a millenium graduate so we were told we were special since kindergarten. I really thought all of those people thought I was something and that I better make them proud.

 

On my graduation they played I hope you dance a country song and talked about making something of yourself. I think his message could have been said in a better way. I think empowering people doesn't mean knocking them down a notch and I don't think assuming because they have money they need to be knocked down a notch is a fair assumption.

[mommymilkies]

Yes, but not everyone had the coddling. Some people really did work dang hard to survive and get to where they are. So you tell them they suck and so do their efforts? Why?

 

I guess that all just doesn't speak to me. :glare:

 

:iagree: I was a lower class student that went to school hungry a lot. I was bullied, harassed, and mistreated even by my teachers. Nobody ever thought I would amount to anything. I was never coddled. I graduated high school as a single mom after a lot of hard work.

 

At that school? Almost everybody had the material coddling. Only 4% of the students receive free or reduced lunch - an indication for an extremely affluent student body. Which is one of the aspects the teacher was most certainly referring to.

 

In addition, modern educational trends do tend to focus on encouraging overblown self-esteem in the absence of real achievement.

It does speak to me, because I see the effect of this and the feeling of entitlement constantly at work.

:iagree: For some students/school districts.

[bettyandbob]

I don't disagree with the statements. I think the venue is wrong. I think the content of the statements and the chosen venue are two different issues.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I think it was well done. And pretty true for the most part.

So many young people have grown up in school systems where they remove scores in sports so "no one's feelings are hurt", where they have actual "graduation" ceremonies for non-accomplishments like Kindergarten and 8th grade. They are continually babied and held to low standards and low expectations. Of course they think they are the center of the universe.

I have to go today to my sister's stepdaughter's graduation party.

I can't stand the girl, she has played "princess" since I've known her.

She actually pitched a fit when she found out her 87 year old grandfather was having issues with prostate cancer and therefore couldn't be there today. It was "her" day and she couldn't believe he "won't" come.

The real world is going to come as a major shock to these kids.

[Farrar]

Did you listen to the whole speech? The part about go to Paris to see Paris, not to check it off a list? The part about read read read The part about success is not defined by material possessions?

 

While I thought those were things I could agree with and well stated, I seriously doubt many of the kids could hear them after all the negative things he said to that point.

 

I think the speech was great. I wish someone would have given that same speech at my high school graduation, because it took me a few years to figure all that out. Most kids can probably use a good dose of reality.

 

But would you have been able to process it? Even if some of his sentiments had value, I guess I just don't think most of those kids would get anything of value from them in that context with that attitude.

[pqr]

 

But would you have been able to process it? Even if some of his sentiments had value, I guess I just don't think most of those kids would get anything of value from them in that context with that attitude.[/quote

 

As a high school graduate? Absolutely I would have been able to process it, but then again I received a real education. If a child could not process that speech then we are making an even worse indictment of our system of education. Remember, most of these kids will be able to vote within the next 2 years.......if they could not process that speech then.....God save us.

[Caroline]

 

As a high school graduate? Absolutely I would have been able to process it, but then again I received a real education. If a child could not process that speech then we are making an even worse indictment of our system of education. Remember, most of these kids will be able to vote within the next 2 years.......if they could not process that speech then.....God save us.

 

I totally agree. (And I teach public high school. My students would all (and will all in the fall when I make them read this) get this speech.)

Edited June 9, 2012 by Caroline

[DawnM]

I waited until I had actually listened to the speech. Initially, before listening to the speech, I wasn't as sure it was a nice way to send kids off from high school.

 

Now that I have listened, I think he did a good job. I would have responded just fine to his speech, even though I had low self esteem in high school.

 

He ended on a very good note....where to go with this information? Dream big, lead a relevant life, do what you love, learn well, read well, lead extraordinary lives because no one is special, but everyone is.

 

Love it.

[FaithManor]

 

But would you have been able to process it? Even if some of his sentiments had value, I guess I just don't think most of those kids would get anything of value from them in that context with that attitude.[/quote

 

As a high school graduate? Absolutely I would have been able to process it, but then again I received a real education. If a child could not process that speech then we are making an even worse indictment of our system of education. Remember, most of these kids will be able to vote within the next 2 years.......if they could not process that speech then.....God save us.

 

This is very true.

 

I know some people are not aware of just how much of a toll the false self-esteem movement and inflationary grading has taken on this generation. As a part-time school guidance counselor who has spent the last semester with my back against the wall fighting valiantly to shout a reality based message to kids and parents who are about to find out that Johnny's paltry effort isn't going to get him places in life, nor pats on the back any longer, I am in agreement with the speaker's thoughts. Most of the kids that will graduate from the school I worked at (past tense - they wanted me back, I have not signed the 2012/13 contract and am not likely to do so) will get a high school diploma and they will be given all kinds of accolades and many, many of them will have high grades to boot for very little effort. Yet, the vast majority of them are unemployable due to the belief that just showing up should be good enough to earn a paycheck because it was good enough to earn a passing grade.

 

The new principal and I, after an audit of grading procedures and interviews with faculty, estimate that 80% of all the grades handed out in this school were bogusly raised a full letter grade. My best estimate is that Miss Valedictorian would have earned, had she attended the high school of my youth, a 2.75-2.9 G.P.A. and that roughly half of the graduating class would not have been issued a diploma way back in 1984 when the principal and I graduated. The fact that they will be lauded for being handed a diploma they did not earn should be cause for grave concern from our society.

 

Certainly not all high schools are this bad. However, the number of them that are is rising rapidly as NCLB created ridiculous pressure on teachers to give passing grades to non-performing students in order to keep "numbers" high and graduation rates artificially inflated. As far as my area is concerned, "Johnny" thinks he's the best thing that happened to planet earth just because he exists. I agree with Regentrude, kids are that special to their family. But, with nearly 7 billion people on earth, they need to have a clearer picture of who they are in the grand scheme of things and the current educational climate does not give that to them.

 

As far as high school graduation being a celebration that shouldn't be rained on, I'm not certain about that. This celebration of the end of school is a much more recent phenomenon in our culture. During my parents generation, commencements were not elaborate nor particularly well attended...rougly half the class had better things to do such as be at work, heading off to the military, getting married, preparing for whatever....my parents did not attend their graduations and no one threw a huge party either - this was the norm. School was just your job at the time and you were moving on to your next "job" whatever that was. My parents had an "openhouse" for me and I had a typical commencement, but my parents viewed these as "luxuries" not rights. So, that may alter my perception of the purpose of these celebrations. I, for one, will admit to really enjoying my college baccalaureate service. :001_smile:

 

As parents, we've struggled with this notion and when it came time to graduate dd from homeschooling, we really had to figure out what we thought was appropriate and kind went a different way with it.

 

I don't believe that a graduation speaker has an obligation to the audience to keep everything nice, nice. At the point at which these kids are about to embark upon adult responsibilities, adult post-high school training, jobs, marriages, and voting for the president, we should be able to, if we feel the need to, give such a message and have it digested, understood, and accepted for what it is and move on without major damage to the psyche or angst from the hearers.

 

I understand that for many, their PS education was something they merely survived. I get that! I really do. I was so badly bullied in middle school that I stopped eating, lost significant weight, and nearly ended up force-fed in the hospital. So, I've BTDT. However, that said, my mere survival is important only to my family...the achievement is a private one, not a public one. Out of 7 billion people, my survival is inconsequential in the grander scheme of things and I understand that. I understood that the day I received my diploma and made my ridiculous valedictory speech - which by the way, the original was quite well grounded in reality and definitely atypical...not offensive, just atypical and it was rewritten by faculty because it wasn't the "cheerleading" number that they wanted to hear. :001_huh: So, I've also been on the other end of that stick and have empathy for the speaker.

 

One of the best truths I took away from the brick and mortar experience is that school is an artificial contrivance that doesn't actually mirror reality and it's best to NOT take your sense of self-worth from such an entity. I wish more kids digested this and were better grounded internally.

 

We will all disagree on the speech and the venue because we all have different experiences. Mine lead me to want to stand up and say BRAVO to the speaker. I just hope he understands that he's preaching to a deaf crowd. I know I just spent an entire semester wasting my breath, time, resources, and energy for nothing. Harsh reality will become the mistress of the kids I sought sooooo hard to help! That breaks my heart, but I also have to embrace the truth that there isn't anything I can do about it but hope that they learn to adapt efficiently and rapidly to the outside.

 

Faith

[Mergath]

Something is wrong in the world when Mergath and I are in agreement. Now we need determine who will change their mind; as long as it is not both of us because then we would have the same problem.

 

I would say that I agree, but that would seem to only make the problem worse. :tongue_smilie:

[Mergath]

I am about to really upset the applecart. I agree with pqr and Mergath. How terrifying is that trio??:D

 

:lol:

[KungFuPanda]

I don't disagree with the statements. I think the venue is wrong. I think the content of the statements and the chosen venue are two different issues.

 

I think it's a time and place issue too. It seemed a bit tacky and presumptuous to make this a graduation speech. I wonder what he says at weddings and birthday parties? I'll bet he felt quite proud of himself that he provided a much needed wake-up call despite not knowing anything about the individual students.

[pqr]

despite not knowing anything about the individual students.

 

 

He is a teacher in the school; I suspect he knows a great deal about many of the individual students..

[Greta]

I liked it. The "you're not special" message was only the first half of the speech, the second half was very positive and encouraging. I felt he actually struck a great balance, and the whole thing was delivered with humor and style. I don't even remember my high school graduation commencement address. This one I would have remembered, and fondly so.

 

I think it's a little unfair to criticize him on the basis that he didn't assign blame to the parents for coddling their children. That wasn't his point or his purpose. His purpose was to tell those graduates what they needed to hear, what he felt would be most helpful to them as they begin their adult lives. "It's all your parents' fault!" would certainly not have accomplished that.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think I need to know more about the audience. Were those kids the entitled rich kids burdened by artificially-inflated self-esteem, or were they from the 49% of American families currently on food stamps?

 

I apologize if someone already shared knowledge about this particular school's demographic profile. I skimmed the thread but didn't see anything about it.