Kids & Television, Movies, Internet ...

[Guest solroger]

Hello all...new member here.

 

My wife and I are going to home school our two year old boy. Presently we are living with my parents.

 

I have restriction commercial television for our boy. Actually he watches none of it. We did let him sit with us to watch some soccer recently only because it was a family gathering and he was adamant about sitting with his grandpa.

 

It is really hard to keep him away from my laptop. I let him watch some nursery rhymes on youtube once a day. At least he isn't watching television commercials.

 

What would be an appropriate age to take him to the movie theaters? Is he too young for that? Or should we keep him away from that stuff just yet?

 

It would be really appreciated if you can share how you handle television and the internet and what movies kids watch. I really don't want my two year to watch beer commercials during a soccer game where women half undressed wash cars and many such commercials.

 

I am also not sure about Disney stuff such as Dora and current popular trends.

[Julie Herbster]

solroger, I share many of your concerns. It must be hard to limit this kind of thing when you're sharing living space with someone else. I know that in our house, any TV viewing is done after the kids are in bed at night, except for the occasional sporting event. And during those exceptions, we do not allow them to watch commercials. (We have that super-neat feature that allows us to pause live TV and then skip the commercials.)

 

I think there have been some studies done on young children's development/health and TV/movie viewing...Does anyone around here have a link to something like that? The one I'm thinking of recommended that kids under 2 watch absolutely no TV/movies, and then during their early childhood should watch hardly any at all.

 

Even our older kids somehow survive on less than one movie a month. They have so much else going on, and the free time they have is filled with imaginative play, reading, building things, riding bikes, etc. As they mature, I know we'll have more family movie nights...but not yet.

 

But that's just us...

 

About Dora and other trends...Since our kids don't watch the TV shows and latest Disney movies, they really don't know about these things, except when they get a figurine in their McDonald's happy meal and ask me what it is. The other day, I was shopping for sunglasses for my girls at Super Wal Mart. Wouldn't you know that the ONLY sunglasses for girls they had in stock were all movie/character oriented: Hannah Montana, Dora, H.S. Musical, etc. I finally got the Dora ones (they were clearance priced at $2). As we waited to check out, my 5yo asked, "Mommy, what is her name again? Dorell?" lol

[bkpan]

I find that the less exposure the better. My dc tend to latch on to popular culture when exposed, so we have little of it here at home.

 

We do not have television, and my kids have a computer without the internet. We have some educational software, and I limit each dc to no more than 1/2 hr a day. They might watch a documentary or acceptable movie once or twice a week on video.

 

Play stations and such are no way and never here, lol.

 

When we moved across the country over a year ago, I was 8 months pregnant. We had cable then and my mother came to help out for awhile. She would let them watch the Disney channel during the day. Ugh! We really could see a change in their attitudes. Things are much better now.

 

But, there are many families that watch plenty of TV, do video games, etc. and have no problem with it. I guess you just have to find out what works best for your family. HTH

 

Kim

[Kathleen in VA]

Well, first off, welcome to the WTM forums. Glad you joined us.

 

To answer your question, I think you will get quite the variety of responses from this group - we are very diverse.

 

I recommend a wonderful book called Endangered Minds: Why Our Children Don't Think by Dr. Jane Healy. I've linked it to amazon so you can check out what it's all about and read the reviews, although my library has a copy so perhaps yours does as well. It is basically about screen time of any kind being particularly hazardous for very young chlldren's minds.

 

That said, my children watched some tv when they were small - not much - but we limited it to videos that aligned with our worldview and avoided commercial television as much as possible.

[Aubrey]

Wow. I could have written your post almost verbatim 5 yrs ago, down to living w/ dh's parents.

 

For us, we didn't let our dc watch *anything* on any screen until...hmm...this is where it gets foggy. I know we didn't let them watch anything before they were 1yo, but...it *might* have been 2yo.

 

I know that by the time ds was 2, I was *very* pg w/ dd, & dh & I were both in school. I was doing an MEdT online while he was on campus, so Sesame St was sacred, lol.

 

Around that age, though, we did let them watch PBS. Sesame St, Between the Lions, etc. Between our own school & fixing lunch, those shows were life-savers. We didn't just blindly ok everything on PBS, & dh even had some reservations about SS--not educational enough, he thought--but that's what we did. I don't remember how long those shows are, but I'd guess we didn't let them watch more than an hr/day.

 

When we moved out, though, our dc stopped watching any TV. They'd watch videos maybe 1-2/mo, mainly because they weren't interested enough to ask for them more often. Of course, by then, dd was 2 & ds was 4, so they had ea other to play w/.

 

As far as *what* is ok, that's obviously a pretty personal decision. My take is that you can always ease up when they get older, but you can't really restore innocence, kwim? If a character shows *any* behavior we don't want our dc to exhibit, they don't watch the show. Because, esp at that age, dc WILL copy what they see. To a lesser extent, though, I believe this is true at any age, incl adulthood.

 

Theater? We've done *very* little of that, mainly because the time & $ involved in previewing something there is prohibitive. We've made exceptions, but I can only think of 2, & both times, if I'd seen the movie 1st, I would not have taken the dc. They weren't awful, it was fine, but having *seen* them...they weren't really for us, iykwim.

 

Disney is kind-of funny. You remember stuff from when you were a kid, & it's great. Then you re-watch it w/ your dc in mind, & oh. my. goodness! They're so violent! That said, though, we studied fairy tales, etc. in hist this yr, & after reading a fairy tale, we watched the Disney version. Dd is 5, & ds is 7, & we watched them *together* ONE time. Not just pull-it-off-the shelf-at-your-pleasure. That was really, really fun. But for it to be fun like that, we had to save it, kwim? I think it was a great reward, but that's us.

 

Let's see...did you ask about computers? We don't do them yet. Period. I've pulled up a couple of reading quizzes for ds7 recently, & there are links in our Usborne books that I've previewed & will let him do in the coming mos. So I guess around 3rd g, we're phasing a very limited amt of computer time in. MUCH earlier than I'd planned. I guess we'll see how that goes. Again, I think it's a lot easier to change your mind & give more than it is to change your mind & give less. Generally, I think it's wise to tread w/ caution when it comes to media/electronics.

 

GL & welcome!

[Mom to Aly]

When my daughter was 4 & 1/2 I let her watch a little Dora and Nick, and a little Disney (my husband and I had split up and he apparently let her sit in front of the t.v. when he had her, so I felt I didn't have a lot of choice), but I always sat with her. Then, one day, I saw a "teaser" commercial on Disney for a movie that looked so sleasy, I said forget it, called up cable, cancelled it that day (they were truly dismayed), packed up our t.v., and did not take it out again for nearly 3 years.

 

Those were amazing years! It was a little bit of an adjustment at first, but I was never a big t.v. person (I loved the weather channel, which used to play Windham Hills music, but had given up the news a long time ago, not wanting her to hear or see anything, and really didn't care about anything else). My daughter was an early reader, and instead of being glued to a t.v., we read, and we talked, and we spent time together, and it was wonderful. Then, a year and a half ago, I ruptured two discs in my back, and had to spend a good amount of time in bed, so I said OK to the t.v. coming back, and to some movies, but my daughter hardly watched any, maybe one or two a month, and we will still rent one, but sometimes wait a week or more to watch it, or take it back without seeing it, it just isn't a priority.

 

I guess my point is, your son is young--if you show him it isn't important, and give him other alternatives, it won't be important. Don't have him in the room when t.v. is being watched--skip it yourselves. Sit and read with him, let him see you read, or do other things, and he will chose to as well.

 

As far as films, that is a completely personal choice. There are great review sites online. One of them, something like "kidsinmind", reviews everything, any sexual talk or content, violence, drug use, etc, and is very detailed and honest. Actually, I'm sure there are plenty that are, that is just the one I have used. It is all a personal preference, and no one can tell you when or what your son can see. Disney presented a problem to me in that Walt Disney felt there should be realism in his films, so Bambi's mother died, etc, which I hated. Little Bear was threated with a spanking, which I don't believe in, in one video, so that was another prob, so it all depends on you. Some shows are very educational--my daughter only watched Dora a few times, but still remembers Spanish from it, so you need to decide what you feel is good or worth it, if anything at all. I think, more than anything, at this point, it will be a matter of what he can take, if you are talking about taking him to a movie. They have kids movies at lots of theaters over the summer for free or for a dollar--movies that have come out before that they rerun at 10:00 during the week--always a good thing to try, but he is really young to go to a movie.

 

As far as your laptop, if it were me, I would just tell him that there are things he cannot see on Daddy's laptop. I do that with my daughter. She has always known she cannot look when I am reading the news. I will go with her to safe sites to kids, etc, but certain things are not for her eyes, and your son needs to learn that as well, and it is never too early to teach him.

 

Whatever you decide, congrats on the homeschool decision, I don't think you can make a better choice or commitment.

 

Welcome!

[Guest solroger]

I recommend a wonderful book called Endangered Minds: Why Our Children Don't Think by Dr. Jane Healy. I've linked it to amazon so you can check out what it's all about and read the reviews, although my library has a copy so perhaps yours does as well. It is basically about screen time of any kind being particularly hazardous for very young chlldren's minds.

 

Thanks for the recommendation. I have ordered the book. I have also read Jerry Mander whom I like a lot.

 

I thank you all for replying with your points of view. So far its a consensus that its better to keep away the screens at least for a few more years.

 

In my case it is very tough but so far I have had no two ways about it except for the "If you are happy and you know it" youtube video which he now wants to see everyday and that EuroCup soccer games he was watching.

 

It is tough in the sense that I live with my parents. We have a 60" television in the living room and one in the kitchen. My parents respect our decision not to let our son watch television but there times when he would run and hide behind grandpa while he watches tv and we cannot do anything otherwise we would get that "you don't want him to be with me" attitude and i'd rather avoid that whole thing.

[JFSinIL]

I second the Healy book. It is an eye-opener.

 

A kid doesn't need to go to a movie theater until age 5 - 6 ish AND there is a film worth paying the $$$ and seeing on the BIG screen. Wait until the next Pixar comes out (2 is too young to go see WALL-E imo. )

[Dayle in Guatemala]

We don't allow TV, internet, or computer-type games during the school week, only on the weekends and then, only a short amount of time.

 

How we handle movies is checking here for detailed reviews. We don't really care what they are rated, ratings mean absolutely nothing. We look at content.

 

For home movie viewing, we have this to let us watch movies that are good, but, may have one or two things we don't want our dc to "experience" just yet.

 

I would hold off on TV and movies for as long as you can! We did, and we don't regret it!

[Christy]

A good book on this subject is: "The Plug-In Drug, Television, Computers, and Family Life" by Marie Winn.

I grew up without TV, with only parent approved movies, and with educational computer games (and when I was a young teen, some clean gamecube games which we got bored of after a year) limited to half an hour a day. I am so grateful for that now when I see other teenagers blowing all their time on stupid tv shows and all their money on the latest x-box, etc. I know teens who don't read ("Reading takes longer, what's the point when I can just see the movie?") and it's really sad. I never felt "deprived" from lack of TV because I loved books! My parents read to me every night and I read a ton on my own as soon as I learned. Books were (and still are) magical to me.

Don't even get me started on Dora the Explorer and Hannah Montana. I hate them with a passion. I babysit children who are Dora zombies. Seriously, they would do anything Dora told them to. And Hannah Montana is a boy crazy pop star teenager who shouldn't be the role model for tons of four-year-old girls! Grr!

Anyway, I hope all goes well with you and your son!

~Christy