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Did you cosleep with your infant?  

  1. 1. Did you cosleep with your infant?

    • Nursing... coslept all the time.
      345
    • Nursing... moved baby to bed after first awakening.
      48
    • Nursing... occasionally slept with baby.
      77
    • Nursing... never slept with baby.
      59
    • Bottles... coslept all the time.
      26
    • Bottles... moved baby to bed after first awakening.
      4
    • Bottles... occasionally slept with baby.
      12
    • Bottles... never slept with baby.
      20
    • Other.
      21


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I'm an "other." I did nurse all 3 early on, but I never figured out how to nurse lying down in bed. At times when the babies took bottles, I would give them the bottle in bed. When they were finished, the bottle went back on the nightstand.

 

DD5 slept w/us until she was around 3.5. She slept in between us. Usually w/her feet on DH's face, so he wasn't too keen on co-sleeping after that.

 

DD2 slept in a swing / her own crib in our room. We tried co-sleeping, but she was extremely restless. Even as a NB, she would wiggle down to the foot, and if we weren't careful, would wiggle herself onto the floor. It is a long drop down. She also seemed to sleep better when she was by herself. On the very rare occasion, we'll pull her into bed with us - such as when she's sick or can't calm down after a bad dream.

 

DS doesn't co-sleep per say. Again, he does better when he's by himself. However, there are times when he is restless and needs to snuggle (several times per month). That's when I'll pull him into bed with us.

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With my first I breastfed, but he slept in his own cot. With the second I breastfed and, while he had his own cot, he ended up in bed with me more often than not. I had terrible sleep problems with my second DS. When my third DS arrived, determined not to suffer the same sleep problems, I kept him in bed with me from day one, he was also breastfed. I never even contemplated putting my last DS in a cot, he also breastfed and slept next to me from the moment he was born. With my last DS I think we both rather slept through a lot of the night feeds.

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Baby 1 bottles and coslept until age 1

Baby 2 nursing until age 3 months then bottles coslept 8 weeks

Baby 3 nursing 5 months then bottles coslept 3 years

Baby 4 nursing only still cosleeping at 4.5 years old

 

Now adays most peds are warning against it however with baby 1 it was the ped that told me cosleeping saved baby's life. I cosleep even in the hospital, and baby 1 was prem and slept on my chest. At 3 days old they discovered he has severe apneas and the ped told me that had I been using the bassinet like a "normal" mom he would have died. By sleeping on me my own breathing patterns kept him stimulated enough to take another breath everytime he stopped. After that I was sold.

 

Yes cosleeping has it's risks but it can be done very safely and I feel over all the benefits out weigh the risks.

 

If you or your spouse are overly heavy sleepers, are prone to tossing and turning in your sleep, excessively over weight, drink alcohol, take drugs (even prescription ones that have a drowsiness warning), or you have a water bed or overly plush bed put baby to sleep in his/her own space. If you are a healthy person, no drugs no alcohol, bed stripped back etc it is relatively safe.

 

What I would do is put baby into a sleep sack high enough on the bed to be away from my blankets. Because all my babies were late summer/early fall babies I could have just a thin thermal blanket on my bed in the early months and we would both be warm and safe. By the time winter came and I wanted a heavier blanket baby was already able to roll over, lift head etc and in general be safer around it though I still used the sleep sack and placed baby higher up on top of my blanket. I would curl up around them and still be in that position when we woke for the next feeding.

 

It's funny because so many dr's etc are warning against it now, yet even when I had my 3rd the nurses would place him to sleep in my hospital bed after they finished checking him. I am sure with the 4th they would have too but she was in the NICU.

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I nursed but we never co-slept. I tried at first with Sweet-pea but she would just scream. She wanted no part of it. In the beginning, she slept in cradle next to my bed until we realized that no one was sleeping that way either because I would wake at every single grunt. Put her in her own room and all of us began sleeping better. She started sleeping through the night then and never stopped.

 

Boo-Boo pretty much just started in her crib after the first few days. She was an excellent sleeper as well so it worked well for us.

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If you feel a bit unsafe, then shove your bed up against the wall, put the baby there. There are little rectangles that they can sleep in... kinda like a little cot in your bed. Then they are with you, but don't get under (your) covers as easily. Under most circumstances I think it's just fine and not more risky than sleeping alone. (If you're doing drugs... legal or not... or drinking... or have some type of sleep problem that you don't wake up.. then don't...)

 

 

:iagree:

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I nursed and co-slept with all 3 and were in their own rooms mostly full-time by age 2 or 3. The oldest was partially bottle fed the first 6 weeks and any attempts at putting him to sleep in his bassinet were failures. He needed physical contact to sleep well.

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I chose nursing and occasionally slept with baby but maybe should have chosen other. I would nurse and put baby to bed in his crib. If/when he woke up in the night, into our bed he came. So he started out on his own but usually wound up with us later. This was how it worked with my younger two. With my oldest I was working full time so he switched to a bottle much earlier. I don't remember him getting up as much during the night.

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With my oldest I was working full time so he switched to a bottle much earlier. I don't remember him getting up as much during the night.

 

this was me too. unfortunately i was working full-time when my daughter was born & only had a six week maternity leave. my only thought was trying to figure out some kind of schedule for when i had to return to work. probably not a great mom moment for me, but it's the truth.

 

with my son, i was able to quit working fortunately but i never slept with him when he was an infant (although he slept in our room at first because he was very ill). a friend of the family had her newborn suffocate and i really think that traumatized me. when my children were/are sick, i will sleep with them though. i usually go to their room and stay there through the night.

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I checked nursing...coslept all the time. However, after I did that it occured to me that I only nursed 3 of my 6 children but all of them slept with dh & I. They all had their own crib or bassinet in our room and usually started out the night there, but after waking the first time it was just easier on my & baby to let them sleep in my bed. Plus, dc #3 (our first son) refused to sleep in his own bed after he turned 7 months old. We finally got him back to his own bed by the time he was 3! Today, we still end up with at least 1 kid in our bed several times a week (usually dd5...she likes to snuggle:D). But if we enforce it, they all do well sleeping in their own beds, too. We figure life is short, they will all be gone soon enough so we need to enjoy them while there here even if it means sharing our space from time to time.

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With my twins (my first children) I was scared to death by the NICU nurses to sleep with them however after just a few days both DH and I felt that it was the only way we could survive. Also, we really felt strongly that after 4 months in the hospital they needed that kind of interaction with us.

 

I am SOOO happy we did it. We co-slept with them until they were about 6 or 7 months old and then transitioned them to their cribs. They loved it and really seemed to crave and need that kind of closeness with us.

 

Our third child was perfectly happy sleeping tightly swaddled in a moses basket next to our bed so we let him be.

 

ETA: Twins were nursed and our 3rd was adopted and I nursed/used a lactaid nurser simultaneously so more up and down prep for that baby.

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nursed/bottle fed and coslept for first five months, then moved baby to bed next to my bed. He' sleep in it till 2am then I'd put him in bed with me. I wasn't getting any sleep so dh moved into baby's room with him and co slept for a few years. DS sleeps on his own mostly now.

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I co-slept with my oldest and after how hard it was to move him to his own room, I promised myself I wouldn't do that ever again. My other babies had a bassinet right beside our bed. They were close enough I could reach in and touch them. With my daughter she even had her crib in our room for awhile once she outgrew the bassinet just because I found it so much easier to have her close by. Both of the younger children were easier to move to their own rooms when they were old enough though, and both of them slept through the night earlier than their older brother did with his co-sleeping. I found that a child that sleeps well also tends to eat better (instead of constantly snacking) and tends to be easier to deal with.

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Me too....different kids....different needs. Most of them had a sidecar type crib next to my bed, that way we could co sleep, But also have our own space:D

My kids did mostly end up sleeping with us until about 2or3.

 

Faithe

 

This is what we do.

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We coslept with all 3 for about 2-3 yrs. DS1 and DD went into their own beds at age 3. DS2 is just over 2 and is now sleeping in his own bed. I go in about 2x a night to cuddle him and he may nurse a bit at that time, but he's now in his own bed, although technically I cosleep for part of the night with him.

 

We followed Dr. McKenna's advice on safe cosleeping practices. He's the director of the Mother-Infant Sleep Laboratory at Notre Dame and an expert on safe cosleeping.

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

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We never intended to co-sleep, but for DS1 that was the only way he would sleep until he was about a year old. DH was really unsure of it at first, but we're both light sleepers and we liked getting enough sleep so we kept on doing it. With DS2... I always assumed we would, because we both really liked co-sleeping with DS1, but after my cousin lost his 5 month old boy to SIDS (child was in a crib in another room) DH demanded that we co-sleep. Being able to half-wake up multiple times and hear/feel baby breathing was exceptionally reassuring for both of us.

 

It is definitely not something I would recommend if you and/or your DH are heavy sleepers (that is where I believe the danger lies in co-sleeping - if you are a dead-to-the-world type of sleeper), but it is probably one of our favorite aspects of parenting. It has always been a very special time for us - snuggling as a family.

DH and I have also found that even though we sleep better when baby is in bed with us better doesn't equal a deeper sleep. If anything we are both hyper aware, even when sleeping soundly, of where the baby is.

 

ETA:

DS1 was sleeping on his own, for pretty much the whole night, by the time he was 14 months. It was like one day he just decided that he would sleep better on his own. DS2 is starting to get to that stage now ... in the last couple of weeks he has preferred to sleep by himself for the first half of the night and then snuggled up with us for the second half.

Edited by theAmbitiousHousewife
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B-fed and co-sleep with all of them. DS7 sleeps on his own about 99% of the time now, while DD5 and DD3 will go to sleep in another bed but always end up in ours. DS8 has maybe spent a week of his life not sleeping in our bed. He just likes it and we have no problem.

 

Honestly, lately with all the moving stress we generally end up with 4 kids, a Great Dane, a Great Pyrenees and at least one cat in bed with us.

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Yes, we coslept. I breastfed, too.

 

:iagree: I had to ff my two eldest after 8-9 months and 2 months for medical reasons, respectively. The first coslept until about 2 years old or so, and the second hated cosleeping and did so rarely. The next three were EBF until 2.5 yo (or still going for my LO!) and coslept until that time.

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I never set out to be a co-sleeper, but after too many nights of little to no sleep (while my co-sleeping neighbor rested away) it just happened.

 

We never bothered purchasing a crib for my 2nd. Poor little fellow just snuggled in with us from day one.

 

By then, I'd grown a deaf ear to all naysayers.

 

I say, sleep how and when ever you can with a little one. Unless you are using alcohol or drugs of course.

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I would guess that because the current "standard" is on their backs on a flat mattress, your ped really can't say anything else. Malpractice suits you know. :glare:

 

There are risks to every situation, you have to make the best decision for you and be willing to accept the risks.

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#1 was unable to nurse and pumping alone wasn't enough to keep my milk supply from drying up. We co-slept with her until she became mobile at 6 mos., not by choice but because it was the only way she'd sleep at all.

 

#2 and #3 were BF and occasionally co-slept but mostly were in the bassinette by our bed for the first 6 mos.

 

At 6 mos. I transition my babies to the crib in their own room.

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I voted move to bed on first waking but we are all over the place. All of my dc have been breastfed on demand and nursed from 1 year to almost 3 years for my little one now. First DD slept with me from birth and often times on my chest when she wasn't nursing. Those nursing hormones kept me from falling into to deep of sleep. My Ped at the time told me her heart rate and breathing would respond to mine, I don't know if that was her opinion or ??? Second Ds was a terrible sleeper waking up all of the time, my husband didn't want him to co sleep so he was right by my bed and we were both exhausted. He would wake up every hour. Third Dd slept by me in a bassinet and was a great sleeper, she was also my shortest nurser weening right after turning 1. Fourth Dd co sleeps when she wakes up and we all sleep well. She'll be three this month and still nurses, mainly at nap and night.

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I answered the top one, but I should have chosen the second one. I would lay baby down in their own bed in my room, and then move them with me after the first wake up (for 3 out of 4 kids). Ds 12 slept with me beginning to end. He's still in our room, but in his own bed. His seizures and breathing problems require us to be close at all times.

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I breastfed and co-slept with all four of mine. They left the bed anywhere between 18 months and 4 years old. Except for the baby, she still co-sleeps. It's getting harder with her though, she keeps rolling all over the place when she is in between sleep/waking up.

 

Same here. DS is 8 and still a very sensitive sleeper. He gets me almost nightly once but they have full sized beds for this very reason ;)

 

DD on the other hand has always been a great sleeper. She LOVES to stretch out and sleep and rarely comes out of her room though she knows it's an option. SHe has no insecurity about night.

 

So, I don't think cosleeping has anything to do with being able to sleep one day on their own. Mine both slept with me the same amount of time and are polar opposites on the matter

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Only with one. He was the absolute worst sleeper and the fussiest. My husband was deployed, so it was only me in the bed with him. It was the only way to get him to sleep and I needed to sleep because a newborn and a toddler didn't allow for much napping for me during the day.

 

The other kids never had issues sleeping in their cribs. I really prefer not to have kids in the bed, especially when they start adopting that crazy "H" sleep position between my husband and me.

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I checked other.

 

I nursed for 5 months with my oldest and he co-slept occasionally when he was an infant and more when he was a young toddler. Some people (like Sears) consider having the baby in your room to be one version of co-sleeping and he was in our room or in a small room open to our room for the first 2+ years of his life.

 

With my younger, I nursed for 18 months or so and he co-slept in our bed or adjacent to the bed in a co-sleeper for most of the first year and then in our room until about age 2 or so and then he moved in with big brother.

 

Cosleeping is safe if done with care by mindful adults. The deaths that get attributed to cosleeping often have to do with heavily medicated or intoxicated people falling asleep with a baby in a bed with a sh!t ton of blankets and pillows or on a couch, chair or other non-firm non-bed surface.

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Exclusively breastfed all 3 kiddos, child-led weaning. Oldest weaned around age 3, ds2 around 2.5, nearly 2 year old dd still nursing. Never owned a crib, oldest co-slept until age 4, ds2 is 4 and recently moved into his own bed, dd is still cosleeping. Used an Arms-Reach cosleeper when they were infants, not exclusively. Oldest ds loved to sleep in it, second ds hated it, dd only napped in it but wouldn't stay in it at night.

 

Any dr who warns against it is bunk imo. I want drs to help with medical issues and leave parenting issues up to me---I don't think it's any of their business. Cosleeping needs to be a conscious, committed choice, not an accidental choice or every now and then. There are safety things that co-sleepers do. Our sheets are secured tightly underneath the mattress. We use bed rails. We have the bare minimum pillows and they are high well away from the babies. We do not sleep under the top sheet and we don't use heavy blankets. I do not wear baggy pjs with any sort of string, especially my pj top. A nursing tank or form fitting tee so that there's no excess fabric any where near a babies face. I put babies in the sleeper blankets. And I never turn my back on the baby while sleeping. Cosleepers should not use waterbeds or pillow topped mattresses. And I never leave an infant alone while sleeping. I think that rooming-in is another option if full cosleeping isn't an option or desire..

 

Cosleeping with toddlers and older kids? The rules get laxer obviously as they get older.

 

http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/cosleeping.pdf

Edited by Walking-Iris
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I voted that we moved baby to bed after first waking but that is only partially true. The first month or two baby was usually in bed with us all the time ... After that it was come to bed with us after first waking ....until a year and then we night wean, if it hasn't happened before...

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No cosleeping here, with the exception of the times when a toddler climbed into bed with us for a little while during the night. Cosleeping with a toddler is downright uncomfortable! :tongue_smilie: And cosleeping with an infant much too dangerous. We have friends whose baby died as a result of being smothered when one of the parents rolled over on her in their sleep. It was such a terrble, sad situation, one that you never think will happen to you.

Edited by ereks mom
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I coslept with mine, but didn't set out to do it. I always put them in their own cribs after the last feeding of the day when I was ready to go to sleep, but after a LONG TIME of hopping up and down all night, I gave in and we coslept. DH never felt comfortable with it (thought he might smush the baby during the night), so he slept on the couch. We did that for over a year, then he just couldn't take it anymore. The baby is 2.5 years old and we just recently got her to sleep on the floor in our room.

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I wanted to add also that I co slept with my newborn and newly 2 year old when DD was born. I think it helped create a strong bond. We had a king mattress, with another on the floor where I slept in the middle of the two. If DD stirred, she got a boob before waking DS LOL....who was also still nursing. DS 2 at the time, really felt he had the same place as the baby, and never had any jealousy issues. It can be a beautiful thing!

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I said yes, but I should qualify. First child coslept almost entirely until about 3 years old. Occaisional naps in his crib, or sometimes a brief stretch of a few hours at night right after the c-section, when he was kicking me in my incision. Second child has almost never coslept, after the first week, mainly because she hates it. She can't sleep with people nearby. I was really upset, and missed it, but it was for the best. My dh (different dh than previous child) is one of the few people that should never cosleep. He has actually rolled over on ME! And when he figured out I was kind of lumpy he put his pillow over my head to make it more comfortable!!!! Needless to say, the few times the baby was in the bed with me he was NOT. If this new one is a cosleeper we will figure something out, probably a sidecar crib.

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We coslept with 5 out 6 kids. I was never sleep deprived, never had any incidents that made me question the practice. Esch child was a little different, remaining with us until 3, 4, 5, or 6yo. Now we cosleep with our "forever baby"...our long-haired chihuahua.

 

Come to think of it, ds10 still chooses to fall asleep with his papa on occasion, I just move him out when I want in. ;)

 

I do think personality can play into the workable-ness of it. Some babies thrash and wake easier, and some moms are more easily disturbed than others. No one should feel guilty if it just doesn't work for them.

Edited by Geo
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Nursing, slept with Rebecca more when she was tiny. I had a hard time sleeping with a baby in the bed, honestly. Sylvia co-slept more but was supplemented from birth. Sylvia also co-slept over half the time until just recently. She's our snugglebug.

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No cosleeping here, with the exception of the times when a toddler climbed into bed with us for a little while during the night. Cosleeping with a toddler is downright uncomfortable! :tongue_smilie: And cosleeping with an infant much too dangerous. We have friends whose baby died as a result of being smothered when one of the parents rolled over on her in their sleep. It was such a terrble, sad situation, one that you never think will happen to you.

 

This. I am so saddened when a death occurs because of it. I think they may have to start prosecuting the parents who kill their infants this way, though I believe it is no a frequent thing. I feel so sad for the parents, but these kinds on infant deaths are entirely preventable.

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I bottle-fed all of mine and I'd say we co-slept with all of them for at least the first 7-8 months, but usually after they'd fallen asleep and I put them in their own bassinet or bed right next to mine or in our room. (That's how I voted--bottle-fed, brought baby in after awakening.) I had supplies right in our room so that snuggling was at a maximum and my inconvenience was a minimum. LOL

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I answered the poll for my youngest. He co-slept a ton as a baby and still comes in my bed every morning around 5 am. There would have been no sleep with out co-sleep for him. He didn't even sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. My older three kids slept in a crib in our bedroom and occasionally co-slept if I fell asleep nursing. I got more relaxed about it the more babies I had and each one slept in my room longer than the last.

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This. I am so saddened when a death occurs because of it. I think they may have to start prosecuting the parents who kill their infants this way, though I believe it is no a frequent thing. I feel so sad for the parents, but these kinds on infant deaths are entirely preventable.

 

um, by that logic than every time I read about a baby that dies in a crib I should get rid of my crib? There are dangers in both places, and you do what you should to minimize it. (no drinking or taking medications while cosleeping, no cosleeping with a soft mattress, etc etc etc)

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I put never in our bed. They have ended up there very occasionally for an extra hour or two in the morning, but generally no. I breastfed for 9-12months each time, babies were in a bassinet in our room then in their own room. No-one gets a good sleep here with a baby in the bed.

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And cosleeping with an infant much too dangerous. We have friends whose baby died as a result of being smothered when one of the parents rolled over on her in their sleep. It was such a terrble, sad situation, one that you never think will happen to you.

 

This. I am so saddened when a death occurs because of it. I think they may have to start prosecuting the parents who kill their infants this way, though I believe it is no a frequent thing. I feel so sad for the parents, but these kinds on infant deaths are entirely preventable.

 

It is sad, of course. However, it gets me to thinking about something I read about co-sleeping once upon a time (something by Dr. Sears, maybe?) that discussed how it was a lopsided viewpoint to look at deaths caused by co-sleeping while discounting the number of children whose lives may have been potentially saved by co-sleeping. Mother-baby responsiveness, breathing patterns/movements, etc. can provide safety benefits that a crib cannot.

 

ETA: I also wonder which one of the parents it was. Of children who have died in a co-sleeping situation, I wonder how many would have succumbed to SIDS in a crib, how many were smothered by a heavy blanket that shouldn't have been there (and the same mistake can be made in a crib), how many were next to dad instead of mom, etc.

Edited by Alte Veste Academy
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