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How do I motivate my dd to do her best??


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My 8yo dd is not a fan of schoolwork. She does struggle in certain areas, but what drives me crazy is her lack of effort. When she writes, it is usually really sloppy. I thought that she just didn't have the ability until one time when I asked for her best writing ever. When she finished, it was beautiful! She is the same way with math and reading. It's like she doesn't care about doing well. She only cares about finishing. Actually, this is true with chores as well.

 

So how do I get this girl to do her best in chores and schoolwork? She is both lazy and very flighty. HELP!

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One thing you can do is to shorten up assignments. Get her to work for a short time but give her best work to that time. As she can achieve that, then gradually lengthen them.

 

Also, know that it takes a lot of time and concentration to be super neat, so you may want to compromise somewhere in the middle. It should be easily readable though. I make my kids redo any work that is sloppy. (If their zeroes look like 6's, they have to rewrite them even if I KNEW they meant zero--if the average person would probably misread it, I tell them it's too sloppy for me to read). Having to redo work, especially if it's "homework" during a scheduled "freetime" has been an incentive here.

 

You mentioned that she can be flighty, and she might have a mild ADD and find concentration really challenging. That's another reason that short bits of time & work, gradually building up her ability to work on them, might help. But you may find a limit too--a short lesson with good concentration is more effective than a longer lesson with wandering focus, so that's something to keep in mind too. Some kids may not "look" like they are working hard, when really they are--it's just a bit harder for them.

 

Same thing with chores--you may want to go back and show her how to do it, then have her talk through the steps, then you talk her through while she does it, and when she can do an excellent job with you there, then have her try it on her own again. If it's a job with many steps, you may want to break it down with a list or a picture diagram to help her not to forget any steps.

 

Hang in there! Merry :-)

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