Help! Parents of NLD kids: I feel like I'm free-falling...

[Geo]

I'm struggling to get my words down. So, I'm just going to start typing in a "flow-of-consciousness-mode", it's my only hope of getting this posted.

 

After five years of working with ds, now 10yo...I finally have answers that

fit the puzzle we've been trying to solve. Not surprisingly, his WISC-IV scores strongly indicate a "nonverbal learning disorder". He fits the unofficial profile to a "T". However, it's these numbers that have me spinning in a free fall:

 

Processing Speed, extremely low= 1 percentile

 

Perceptual Reasoning= 6th percentile

 

The Educational Psychologist said the numbers would have been even lower had he used ds's age as a measure. Instead, Dr. used ds's grade (3rd) to measure performance...because ds hasn't yet been exposed to the typical course of study for his age level. **Bad sentence construction, I know. Just typing my thoughts as they come, remember? ;)

 

How much can we possibly (or desperately) hope to improve these areas?

 

I have so much more I would like to discuss, but want to tackle one idea at a time.

 

 

Thanks in advance

Edited May 14, 2012 by Geo

[peacefully]

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[Geo]

Your empathetic reply felt like warm oil on a wound, and I can't thank you enough for that. I love the women on this board....smart AND sensitive.

 

Well, his working memory is in the 21st percentile. That's much better than the other two, but still pretty low.

 

His Verbal Comprehension is in the 95th percentile.

 

The Dr. recommended focusing on his strengths, and using assistive writing software like "Dragon". He also referred us to a NP for a full-team neuropsychological evaluation, including a Q-EEG.

 

HMy ds's reason for getting out of bed in the morning is science. He loves robotics, physics, chemistry, and computer programming.

He's a STEM student at heart, with a Math Fluency GE of K.8.

 

My heart is breaking for him. I won't be this low forever...I will rise again,

but Mama needs a little time right now. :crying:

Edited May 15, 2012 by Geo

[TippyCanoe]

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[Geo]

My dd had a huge gap between processing speed and verbal skills, although I don't think it was quite as extreme as your son's. And I wasn't at all savvy enough about working memory at the time to be able to give you specific advice on how to improve that.

 

What I can offer are three books that have been exceptionally useful and heartening for me:

 

Rhonda Varney Whitney, Nonverbal Learning Disorder

Pamela Tanguay, Nonverbal Learning Disabilities at School

Kathryn Stewart, Helping a Child With Nonverbal Learning Disorder or Asperger's Disorder

 

When I finished with these books, I no longer felt like my child was necessarily doomed to be academically unsuccessful or continually frustrated or "behind."

 

I think your doctor was spot on with the advice to work from your child's strengths; it's advice you'll see echoed in many of the books on various LDs. This doesn't mean you ignore or don't try to remediate the weaknesses, just that you don't emphasize them to the extent that the kid is always having to confront and work on things he finds terribly difficult, day after day after day; or that he starts to think of himself in terms of his failures rather than his gifts. And NLD kids have stunning verbal gifts (sometimes it can feel like waaayyyy too much!). A talent and passion for science sounds like another of your son's gifts; encourage it in every way possible.

 

One of the things we did when DD (now 16) was younger was work on processing and visual-spatial weaknesses through games. We played Bop It and Simon Says, Slamwich and other games with timers and fast paces. It was hard for DD at first and often we'd dispense with the timers, but we could gradually speed up once she got used to them. We played games that emphasized word retrieval, like Scattergories. We played games that worked on spatial skills, something NLDers are generally weak in: RushHour, Gobblett, Cathedral, beginner's chess, River Crossing, etc. (ThinkFun has lots of great games of this sort.) We went through all the Klutz kits we could find: juggling (still not mastered, but better than before), string figures, ball games, finger football, Lego Contraptions, etc. We set up a temporary table tennis game on our dining room table (made dinner interesting!).

 

Have you had your son's eyes checked by a developmental optometrist/vision therapist (not a regular optometrist)? Sometimes processing speeds are greatly affected by visual processing issues or hand-eye coordination issues that can be greatly helped with a course of vision therapy. It doesn't magically cure all ills, but it can certainly target and work on specific problems.

 

Holding your hand virtually -- right after the diagnosis is a tough time, but it gets better. If it helps, my DD, now 16, is totally independent with a regular algebra II textbook, Latin, regular science readings and work. At 11 she was diagnosed with severe dysgraphia as one of the elements of her neuropsych evaluation, and hand strength that was in the 2nd percentile. Today she would no longer qualify for any kind of academic accommodations; she writes very well, legibly -- even spells mostly correctly -- and fluently. She can take notes with some speed. She reads like a house afire. She's still got relatively weaknesses with visual processing; I don't know whether she'll ever drive, because peripheral movements are so frightening to her. But her hand strength is greatly improved. And best of all, she's just a terrific kid who has confidence in her ability to learn and accomplish what she thinks she wants to do with her life. There will be obstacles and glitches along the way, challenges related to remaining visual issues and anxiety. But overall, she's doing brilliantly well and it's been one of the pleasures of my life to see her grow into the young adult she is today.

 

Thanks Doodler.:) I have gobbled up your recent posts on this board...ones that described how you have worked with your daughter, and some resources that you shared...like Tinkering School. That is my son, through and through! Even still, his motor skills can limit him to a degree, depending on the project. Anyway, dh and I have already started thinking of how we can start a small co-op or tinkering club for him in the near future. I'm saving this page for all the resources you listed, which is remarkable.

 

I have always had to be creative and gentle in regards to his learning, and am glad that we have focused so much on his strengths in the past. Lego WeDo & Mindstorm, Snap Circuits, stop-motion animation, robotics kits. We're regulars at the GoodWill electronics section, always looking for things to take apart and. He set up his chemistry lab in the basement after we read Thomas Edison's biography. The Ed Psych was surprised and delighted by his positive self-esteem...which dh and I credit to homeschooling (no bullying/teasing and being compared to peers, perfomance-wise).

 

He can read on a 5th grade level, with good comprehension, but processes it faster and better if he hears it, so I still read aloudhis academic subjects at this time. He usually only reads when pursuing a "special interest" on the computer or at the library. Other than that, he rejects fiction and reading for mere enjoyment, inspite of the fact that I have always read aloud in our home. He does enjoy audiobooks, and has exhausted the local library.

 

I would love to take him to a COVD eye doctor. I have an older son who had vision therapy...26 years ago. It did wonders for him. Problem is, my husband is now on disabilty (due to arthritis), which puts the kids on Medicaid. Well, our state no longer pays for vision therapy as related to a learning disability. :confused: However, they may pay for it if it hinders his daily functioning. I am so hoping the full-team NP eval could possibly open a door for that.

 

I forgot to mention before that the Ed Psych recommended the use of a calculator for math. That could speed up his math progression...since his low processing speed makes mental math almost impossible. I'm not sure what the negatives could be...any ideas?

 

Btw, all the NLD books you listed are in my Amazon shopping cart . :) You're my NLD mentor!

Edited May 16, 2012 by Geo

[TippyCanoe]

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[Geo]

It sounds as though you are already doing wonderful things for and with your son, building on his strengths and interests. He's a lucky guy!

 

Regarding read alouds -- my daughter's main form of "reading" was to be read to for years upon years. I don't think we stopped until one day when she was fourteen she decided she'd read to herself at bedtime (the last remaining read-aloud time -- we dropped them one by one kind of like babies gradually stop nursing). She and her dad both still listen to audiobooks ALL THE TIME; it's DH's main form of intake and DD is about even-handed with listening and reading herself. When she was a child she could literally, I'm not kidding, go from dawn to dusk listening to a book on tape over and over and over. We wore out three tape/CD players before DD finally accepted digital downloads. Listening to material read aloud, whether by you or on a download, is a great way to lighten their academic stress load as these kids gradually build stamina and speed in reading on their own.

 

(My dd is the opposite of your son, though, in that she sees no purpose for the existence of non-fiction!)

 

Regarding calculators... I've always given DD free access to one. Many, many kids with low working memory and/or a particular mind-mapping constellation in which they organize information not in tidy discrete subject categories but in a web of association and context, flounder with memorizing all their math facts. Until they develop multiple pathways into that web of connections and speed up their retrieval time, they are so slowed down by rote computations that it's a very real danger they will learn to loathe math or think they are "stupid." DD learned her multiplication tables before she learned to add basic small numbers, like 8 + 3, reliably. She could also mess about with primes and squares and square roots before she could accurately count out the candles for her birthday cake. A calculator allowed her to tackle word problems, which she found far more interesting, at higher levels, and to learn conceptually at her own pace without being stopped dead by the demands of rote computations. I did make sure that eventually she knew how to do long division and fractions and all that by hand. But we didn't spend ages getting it down in the abstract, without any context. Rather, I allowed her to gradually get addition and subtraction down through working at problems at higher levels, especially word problems, which she liked doing, and through games. It's a constant juggling act, making sure they do understand the concepts behind what they're doing, making sure they can do some rote calculations by hand if they need to, but not stopping them cold in their tracks or ruining their love of conceptual math until they memorize all the basic calculations.

 

And much as I'd love to take credit for discovering the Tinkering School, that was yllek at work. She's an incredible resource on these boards.

 

Finally, just :grouphug::grouphug: regarding the insurance situation. It infuriates me how much parents have to sacrifice to pay privately for issues that deeply compromise their kids' performance and well-being while schools and insurance companies pass the buck: it's not our problem, it's not a medical issue but an academic one; it's not our problem, your kid can read at grade level so doesn't qualify for services. AARRRGGGHHHH. Just a great big AARRRGGGHHHH.

 

There are some good books on vision therapy that I know others have posted about in the past. OhElizabeth has written about seeing a VT infrequently and asking for lots of work to be done at home, due to financial hardship. Maybe you won't be able to afford the full course of weekly therapy, but I'm crossing my fingers that you'll find an alternate way to get at least a good portion of what your son would benefit from in this area.

 

Lapping it up, all of it. You're an absolute treasure trove of insight and perspective on NLD "wiring". I'm already springing back into pro-active mode, and casting off the shroud of grief.

 

I'll be searching the archives for OhElizabeth's home VT posts. I just "heart" her.

 

Apologies to Yllek! Thank you, thank you, thank you! We are already a project lovin' family (of the tinkering/building kind)...but this renewed our vision! My husband is seriously considering taking this to a community level. He loves turning kids onto the thrill of discovery and self-empowerment. He's been a Cub/Boy Scout Master for decades...but the idea of a tinkering club just broadens his scope of influence. We now both believe dh has undx'd NLD...but survived the soul-crushing frustration by going to work full-time, doing construction, at the tender age of 13 (circa 1970). It was life-saving for him, and the only alternative (at that time) to a pathetic school situation. He had been transferred (er,...funneled) into a horrible school and even more horrible classroom of comprised mostly of social deviants and left there to rot...the "teacher" was only a babysitter and didn't even try to teach. He has been my most grateful and eager student via my family read-aloud habit.

 

I adore all you ladies here. Your willingness to share your time and gifts has the potential for life-altering consequences...please KNOW that.

 

 

In love,

Geo

Edited May 17, 2012 by Geo