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Am I crazy or is this a positive pregnancy test?!?!


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Nice to wake up to all this extra support! Thank you all!

 

The bleeding slowed down last night and this morning but is still going on, kind of like a light period. Had some cramping on and off yesterday and at 5 this morning when I took a pain pill and went back to bed a few hours. No more clotting as far as I can tell. I feel kind of like an idiot because I really can't tell if I already did pass the baby with one of those larger clots. So I will just wait and see if anything further happens today or tomorrow, and I'll get a confirmation scan Tuesday.

 

The scan will be hard. It sucks that there was a heartbeat Friday and even though I never felt good about it and just kind of knew when I heard about the sac, a few days later I'm going to be told there's no baby. Even though I already know. Even though the closure is important.

 

I just hope it happens again quickly without too much disappointing waiting.

 

I have had a lot of support here and with my family and friends. One friend stopped over for a while last night. That has been really nice, and while putting so much of this in writing has been emotional it has also been helpful.

 

Last night I visited with a friend, deleted all the Baby Story type shows I had recorded, and ate ice cream in bed while watching Mob Wives instead.

 

Today I feel kind of peaceful like I've come to terms with it, but I know that sadness and feeling all emotional will still randomly blindside me for a while to come.

 

Thanks for being there!

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Nice to wake up to all this extra support! Thank you all!

 

 

The scan will be hard. It sucks that there was a heartbeat Friday and even though I never felt good about it and just kind of knew when I heard about the sac, a few days later I'm going to be told there's no baby. Even though I already know. Even though the closure is important.

 

I just hope it happens again quickly without too much disappointing waiting.

 

Today I feel kind of peaceful like I've come to terms with it, but I know that sadness and feeling all emotional will still randomly blindside me for a while to come.

 

 

It is hard, but our bodies are amazing things. The positive is, this was not an etopic, and you are able to conceive. You will again. The right baby that just needs you as it's mother is waiting. It's hard when you are in it, but I would not have my wonderful little girl if I hadn't had my miscarriages. She was worth the pain and emotion. She is not perfect, but she is the right child for me and brings me such joy. Your's is waiting, just don't give up hope.

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It is hard, but our bodies are amazing things. The positive is, this was not an etopic, and you are able to conceive. You will again. The right baby that just needs you as it's mother is waiting. It's hard when you are in it, but I would not have my wonderful little girl if I hadn't had my miscarriages. She was worth the pain and emotion. She is not perfect, but she is the right child for me and brings me such joy. Your's is waiting, just don't give up hope.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

Beautiful words Nicole. :grouphug::grouphug:

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It is hard, but our bodies are amazing things. The positive is, this was not an etopic, and you are able to conceive. You will again. The right baby that just needs you as it's mother is waiting. It's hard when you are in it, but I would not have my wonderful little girl if I hadn't had my miscarriages. She was worth the pain and emotion. She is not perfect, but she is the right child for me and brings me such joy. Your's is waiting, just don't give up hope.

 

This is what my sister kept telling me. :grouphug:

 

Can't stop thinking about you. Lots of love and prayers for today.

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I just wanted to let you know that I've been where you are three times. It sucked. There is nothing I can say to make it better but I wanted to send you a hug and let you know I'm praying for you. I also wanted to share that, for me, there was a reason to go through all that sadness and pain. After my 3 m/c in a row, I became pregnant a 4th time. It was a totally nerve wracking pregnancy. I was afraid of losing the baby. However, 9 months later I had a huge (9 lb 13 oz) healthy baby boy. To this day (14 years later) he is such a joy and I wouldn't trade him for anything. I would NOT have had him if I hadn't lost the others.

I pray that next time sticks for you (or whichever time is meant to be) and that some years down the road it will all make sense why it had to happen like this.

I am thinking about you and hurting for you right now. ((hugs))

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Nice to wake up to all this extra support! Thank you all!

 

The bleeding slowed down last night and this morning but is still going on, kind of like a light period. Had some cramping on and off yesterday and at 5 this morning when I took a pain pill and went back to bed a few hours. No more clotting as far as I can tell. I feel kind of like an idiot because I really can't tell if I already did pass the baby with one of those larger clots. So I will just wait and see if anything further happens today or tomorrow, and I'll get a confirmation scan Tuesday.

 

The scan will be hard. It sucks that there was a heartbeat Friday and even though I never felt good about it and just kind of knew when I heard about the sac, a few days later I'm going to be told there's no baby. Even though I already know. Even though the closure is important.

 

I just hope it happens again quickly without too much disappointing waiting.

 

I have had a lot of support here and with my family and friends. One friend stopped over for a while last night. That has been really nice, and while putting so much of this in writing has been emotional it has also been helpful.

 

Last night I visited with a friend, deleted all the Baby Story type shows I had recorded, and ate ice cream in bed while watching Mob Wives instead.

 

Today I feel kind of peaceful like I've come to terms with it, but I know that sadness and feeling all emotional will still randomly blindside me for a while to come.

 

Thanks for being there!

:grouphug:

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Oh, what a roller coaster ride.

 

:grouphug:

 

I had 2 m/c's before my first healthy pregnancy. For me, a thyroid supplement and progesterone suppository applicators made all the difference (I am still hypothyroid and I used the progesterone with all 3 pregnancies). If your doc is cavalier about your m/cs because of your age or your previous birth(s), I'd recommend considering a change of doc.

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How are you doing, hon? I want you to know that we are all going to be loving you through the u/s tomorrow. :grouphug: (It is tomorrow, right? I will read back through the thread and verify that.)

 

I am so sorry you are going through this. :(

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How are you doing, hon? I want you to know that we are all going to be loving you through the u/s tomorrow. :grouphug: (It is tomorrow, right? I will read back through the thread and verify that.)

 

I am so sorry you are going through this. :(

 

Once again, thank you all for being there for me!

 

I called the doctor at 9 AM when they opened and got an "Oh, wow, we are beyond booked solid today, there is not a free minute anywhere...let me talk to them and call you back."

 

About an hour later they called back and told me to come in at 11:30.

 

I was there well over two hours (during which time I tried to studiously avoid looking at the newborn there with its mom and the several very pregnant women- good thing I brought a book along).

 

They did the ultrasound and I had to wait for the doctor to interpret it. The doctor said the lining looks very thin, meaning pretty much everything is already out and over and done with, though I still may have some bleeding for a few days.

 

The plus, I guess, is that no medical intervention is required, leaving me able to try again as soon as possible. She says when I get my first normal period to go for it again. She also seems to think it's good that the ectopic and the m/c were two different things, I guess meaning there's not a history of one particular thing repeatedly going wrong. She says that unfortunately as we get older things are more likely to go genetically wrong but that that doesn't by any means imply that I will keep having problems or anything like that.

 

I do have to head over to the lab in a few minutes...since I am RH Negative, I need a shot of Rhogam, and she's going to have them check my HCG levels while I'm there. She then wants me to return in about a week to check them one more time as she feels obligated to follow them down.

 

So, that's where things stand now. I will try again as soon as I can and hope for the best.

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Once again, thank you all for being there for me!

 

I called the doctor at 9 AM when they opened and got an "Oh, wow, we are beyond booked solid today, there is not a free minute anywhere...let me talk to them and call you back."

 

About an hour later they called back and told me to come in at 11:30.

 

I was there well over two hours (during which time I tried to studiously avoid looking at the newborn there with its mom and the several very pregnant women- good thing I brought a book along).

 

They did the ultrasound and I had to wait for the doctor to interpret it. The doctor said the lining looks very thin, meaning pretty much everything is already out and over and done with, though I still may have some bleeding for a few days.

 

The plus, I guess, is that no medical intervention is required, leaving me able to try again as soon as possible. She says when I get my first normal period to go for it again. She also seems to think it's good that the ectopic and the m/c were two different things, I guess meaning there's not a history of one particular thing repeatedly going wrong. She says that unfortunately as we get older things are more likely to go genetically wrong but that that doesn't by any means imply that I will keep having problems or anything like that.

 

I do have to head over to the lab in a few minutes...since I am RH Negative, I need a shot of Rhogam, and she's going to have them check my HCG levels while I'm there. She then wants me to return in about a week to check them one more time as she feels obligated to follow them down.

 

So, that's where things stand now. I will try again as soon as I can and hope for the best.

 

:grouphug: I am so sorry.

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Once again, thank you all for being there for me!

 

I called the doctor at 9 AM when they opened and got an "Oh, wow, we are beyond booked solid today, there is not a free minute anywhere...let me talk to them and call you back."

 

About an hour later they called back and told me to come in at 11:30.

 

I was there well over two hours (during which time I tried to studiously avoid looking at the newborn there with its mom and the several very pregnant women- good thing I brought a book along).

 

They did the ultrasound and I had to wait for the doctor to interpret it. The doctor said the lining looks very thin, meaning pretty much everything is already out and over and done with, though I still may have some bleeding for a few days.

 

The plus, I guess, is that no medical intervention is required, leaving me able to try again as soon as possible. She says when I get my first normal period to go for it again. She also seems to think it's good that the ectopic and the m/c were two different things, I guess meaning there's not a history of one particular thing repeatedly going wrong. She says that unfortunately as we get older things are more likely to go genetically wrong but that that doesn't by any means imply that I will keep having problems or anything like that.

 

I do have to head over to the lab in a few minutes...since I am RH Negative, I need a shot of Rhogam, and she's going to have them check my HCG levels while I'm there. She then wants me to return in about a week to check them one more time as she feels obligated to follow them down.

 

So, that's where things stand now. I will try again as soon as I can and hope for the best.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I haven't been able to post a lot, but I have been following your updates and praying for you. I'm sorry.

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I was away and just saw your updates. You are in my thoughts. :grouphug:

 

eta: maybe ask for a progesterone check next time, just to see if you can stack the deck in your favor? I used progesterone in an IUI/injectables cycle with my oldest child. I used crinone gel following ovulation and up through my positive test and most of first trimester. At the time most docs weren't doing that but my RE liked doing it just to try to help things. Then in my 2nd pgcy (no infertility treatments), my progesterone was a 5 or 6, which is really, really low. I had to beg, plead, etc. for progesterone but did get it. Many docs feel it doesn't work and that low progesterone just means things were "off" to begin with, but from reading PCOS boards through the years, I knew of a lot of women who found it helped. In my third pregnancy my midwives at the time offered to give me progesterone supplementation once we started trying, using it from ovulation to negative test (or continuing if it was positive). My levels were really high so I didn't stay on it long that time. Just something to look into or consider. I know the evidence is not the best, but I think some women with PCOS ovulate late, etc. and maybe our follicles are a little atypical to begin with, so I think it can be something to keep an eye on.

Edited by Momof3littles
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Oh, what a roller coaster ride.

 

:grouphug:

 

I had 2 m/c's before my first healthy pregnancy. For me, a thyroid supplement and progesterone suppository applicators made all the difference (I am still hypothyroid and I used the progesterone with all 3 pregnancies). If your doc is cavalier about your m/cs because of your age or your previous birth(s), I'd recommend considering a change of doc.

 

I needed progesterone and also have thyroid issues which made it hard to maintain pregnancies past 35. With my last 2, I had progesterone suppositories and also had to keep an eye on my thyroid levels. I also had complete bed rest from subchorionic bleeds. It was an emotional roller coaster that did a total number on me. If you see the ages of my kids, you will see some big gaps in ages. Those were my miscarriages.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am so sorry for your losses. It is horrible. I would definitely have your OB at least try the progesterone...and lots of bed rest.

 

Prayers and :grouphug:

Faithe

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Ugh. Just had my blood drawn at the lab and was told I have to go in an hour to get my rhogam shot. Where? At the maternity ward of the hospital. I HATE that they send women going through a loss to the maternity ward. Last time I was there, it was to get a shot of methotrexate for my ectopic and I had to see babies being wheeled around in those little plastic crib things, and heard a nurse counting for a woman in labor. I went to my car after and cried and cried. I feel like crying now. I don't want to go there.

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Ugh. Just had my blood drawn at the lab and was told I have to go in an hour to get my rhogam shot. Where? At the maternity ward of the hospital. I HATE that they send women going through a loss to the maternity ward. Last time I was there, it was to get a shot of methotrexate for my ectopic and I had to see babies being wheeled around in those little plastic crib things, and heard a nurse counting for a woman in labor. I went to my car after and cried and cried. I feel like crying now. I don't want to go there.

 

:grouphug: I am so sorry.

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I called my dr office and started crying and said it is so hard to have to go to a maternity ward during a miscarriage and could I get the shot somewhere else. They said they'd call me back. Then they called and said they are going to call over and ask someone from maternity to meet me elsewhere in the hospital to do the shot and will call me back again with details.

.

.

.

And they called back and said my choices are going to the ER where I would have to be registered and wait to see a dr there, which would prob take hours, or to go to maternity where "you'll be in and out in five minutes."

 

Some choice. :(

 

Oh and my kids are at work with dh because I had no one to watch them, which makes spending hours in an ER less desirable. Not that any of these options are desirable. So I prob have to suck it up and go to maternity. :(

Edited by NanceXToo
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Ugh. Just had my blood drawn at the lab and was told I have to go in an hour to get my rhogam shot. Where? At the maternity ward of the hospital. I HATE that they send women going through a loss to the maternity ward. Last time I was there, it was to get a shot of methotrexate for my ectopic and I had to see babies being wheeled around in those little plastic crib things, and heard a nurse counting for a woman in labor. I went to my car after and cried and cried. I feel like crying now. I don't want to go there.

 

I called my dr office and started crying and said it is so hard to have to go to a maternity ward during a miscarriage and could I get the shot somewhere else. They said they'd call me back. Then they called and said they are going to call over and ask someone from maternity to meet me elsewhere in the hospital to do the shot and will call me back again with details.

.

.

.

And they called back and said my choices are going to the ER where I would have to be registered and wait to see a dr there, which would prob take hours, or to go to maternity where "you'll be in and out in five minutes."

 

Some choice. :(

 

Oh and my kids are at work with dh because I had no one to watch them, which makes spending hours in an ER less desirable. Not that any of these options are desirable. So I prob have to suck it up and go to maternity. :(

 

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. :( :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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Well, it took more than five minutes, but I was in and out in under 25 min and spent it all in the waiting room by myself where I got to watch Sponge Bob and did not see or hear any babies or pregnant women.

 

In return for that small favor, I came out to a drenching downpour and had to walk across the street and to the other end of the parking lot in a thin teeshirt, jeans that were immediately plastered to my legs, and slippery rubber sandals. I got into my car freezing, barely able to see out of my glasses, and my ponytail dripping down my neck, and could only think, 'Glad that is over with.'

 

My husband is leaving work early to come home and deal with dinner, and I'm going to find some mind-numbing trashy movie or DVR'd show to get lost in afterward, and tomorrow will hopefully be a less craptastic day.

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to you, Nance. I had three miscarriages before my three were born and I so vividly remember the pain of being in the OB clinic in the middle of a loss, surrounded by new babies or happy pregnant women. I wanted to cry and throw up at the same time. It just flat out sucks to hurt so badly and feel like the world is going on around you anyway. I'm so very sorry. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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