I was just told I'm expected to go to dinner

[elegantlion]

Okay, say she is on the spectrum, not just quirky. Don't you think because the dhs work together there should have been some sort of warning? Like, hey my dw is bit eccentric, but she's great once you get to know her. Not everyone wwould have been gracious like Audrey, it could have been a real disaster and more stress for the dw.

[laundrycrisis]

Okay, say she is on the spectrum, not just quirky. Don't you think because the dhs work together there should have been some sort of warning? Like, hey my dw is bit eccentric, but she's great once you get to know her. Not everyone wwould have been gracious like Audrey, it could have been a real disaster and more stress for the dw.

 

A heads-up from the husband would have been nice, but she may not be diagnosed. If that is the case, she may not be aware that there is anything "officially" different about her, and he may not know how to mention it. He may just be used to one social disaster after another with her. That is what happened with my parents. Eventually my mom decided to build her own social life apart from him, and then they divorced.

[KidsHappen]

Wow! I feel positively normal. My nefew and his wife visited us recently. He is defintitely LD and I think she is as well. They are both on disability and have special services with life skills. I am also somewhat challenged with my own mental illness. I guess I am used to him after being around him since he was three but she and I were both in tears by the time she left. I don't think that they will be coming again.

[Heather in AL]

Wow. I've just been a silent observer on this and the previous thread, but wow.

 

Audrey, kudos to you for being so gracious. Seriously. Everything shows on my face so every emotion would have been plastered all over me for the world to read.

 

The theory of her being an Aspie is interesting, and one I will remember in case I am ever in such a situation.

 

The dinner she served reminded me of The Burbs with Tom Hanks when the neighbors all went over to the "strange house" to see who lived there and were invited in and served crackers with sardines. :001_huh: I'm not familiar with the Charlie Brown dinner others have mentioned, so The Burbs is what popped into my mind.

 

I'm glad for you this is over, though. While I can imagine the stress you felt wasn't fun, I am glad you can laugh at it all.

 

I feel for the poor woman.

[Slartibartfast]

 

The dinner she served reminded me of The Burbs with Tom Hanks when the neighbors all went over to the "strange house" to see who lived there and were invited in and served crackers with sardines. :001_huh: I'm not familiar with the Charlie Brown dinner others have mentioned, so The Burbs is what popped into my mind.

 

 

 

I love that movie!!

 

ITA, I feel bad for her. It sounds difficult. :(

[sheryl]

And "who" is the crazy lady?

[Cinder]

I'm not familiar with the Charlie Brown dinner others have mentioned . . .

 

Really? The Thanksgiving episode where Charlie Brown is forced to have Tday dinner for his friends at his house. He gets Snoopy to help him and "dinner" consists of popcorn, pretzels, buttered toast. Here's a

.

[Jen500]

Audrey, you are so gracious and open-minded. I love your attitude!

[Amy in NH]

:smilielol5:

 

:iagree:

[Stacia]

.

[Marylou]

I'm thinking it was supposed to be an episode of "What Would You Do?" but John Quinones got sidetracked and that's that.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Don't you think because the dhs work together there should have been some sort of warning? Like, hey my dw is bit eccentric, but she's great once you get to know her.

 

No, because I'm sure many spouses are not really tuned into this. I have a friend who shared how embarrassed she was at the way her husband would treat their guests (deciding he didn't like them, walking away mid-conversation, ignoring them, refusing to show them something his wife asks). And then she continued to invite us over as a family.:001_huh: We always declined.

 

In the past couple of years, I've come to realize that her son is clearly an Aspie. When I was reading part of Audrey's story to my ds, he even exclaimed, "Hey, that's John!" (Not real name.) I think the dad is surely on the spectrum too.

 

The mom has never given any indication that either her dh or ds has issues and has certainly never mentioned dr. appts. or anything else, when I believe there was a time that we were close enough that she would have. Unfortunately, it's apparent to many they've encountered over the years.

 

So, no, I don't think that Audrey's dh's co-worker would have thought to mention it.

[Mrs Mungo]

Okay, say she is on the spectrum, not just quirky. Don't you think because the dhs work together there should have been some sort of warning? Like, hey my dw is bit eccentric, but she's great once you get to know her. Not everyone wwould have been gracious like Audrey, it could have been a real disaster and more stress for the dw.

 

A heads-up from the husband would have been nice, but she may not be diagnosed. If that is the case, she may not be aware that there is anything "officially" different about her, and he may not know how to mention it. He may just be used to one social disaster after another with her. That is what happened with my parents. Eventually my mom decided to build her own social life apart from him, and then they divorced.

 

Even undiagnosed, you would think there might be some warning. I have brilliant people in family who are clearly on the spectrum, but have never been diagnosed (I'm sure they would be now). As teenagers my sisters and I would warn boyfriends who attended family events about the quirkiness they might encounter.

[SKL]

Even undiagnosed, you would think there might be some warning. I have brilliant people in family who are clearly on the spectrum, but have never been diagnosed (I'm sure they would be now). As teenagers my sisters and I would warn boyfriends who attended family events about the quirkiness they might encounter.

 

Well, the husband did mention they were having trouble making friends. Maybe that was his way of saying there is some difficulty there.

[mommaduck]

Even undiagnosed, you would think there might be some warning. I have brilliant people in family who are clearly on the spectrum, but have never been diagnosed (I'm sure they would be now). As teenagers my sisters and I would warn boyfriends who attended family events about the quirkiness they might encounter.

My stepfather would never had warned anyone about my mother. We would just pray for a good event and pretended that nothing was happening is she was a bit "off" that night.

[Mrs Mungo]

My stepfather would never had warned anyone about my mother. We would just pray for a good event and pretended that nothing was happening is she was a bit "off" that night.

 

Maybe it depends upon the specific types of issues?

 

For example, the first time now-dh met my dad's side of the family? It was at my uncle's birthday party. My uncle refused to come out of his room.:tongue_smilie:

 

AND yet dh still married me!!! :lol:

[Audrey]

Even undiagnosed, you would think there might be some warning. I have brilliant people in family who are clearly on the spectrum, but have never been diagnosed (I'm sure they would be now). As teenagers my sisters and I would warn boyfriends who attended family events about the quirkiness they might encounter.

 

I feel the same about some of my family. But, I do warn people the standard caveat: "I am from the South, where we don't ask if insanity runs in the family, we just ask which side it runs on." :D

[mommaduck]

I feel the same about some of my family. But, I do warn people the standard caveat: "I am from the South, where we don't ask if insanity runs in the family, we just ask which side it runs on." :D

:lol::lol::lol:

 

And we don't hide the skeletons in the closet. Since we all have them, we put them on display for humour if for nothing else.

 

You have to be proud of the General So Many Greats Ago and you have to wink at Off Beat Cousin So Many Times Removed (or Not). People hear my maiden name, they look at me funny, and I have to mischeviously add, "yes, Larry is kin"

[Tap]

Even undiagnosed, you would think there might be some warning. I have brilliant people in family who are clearly on the spectrum, but have never been diagnosed (I'm sure they would be now). As teenagers my sisters and I would warn boyfriends who attended family events about the quirkiness they might encounter.

 

It is helpful for others to be given a warning. When this story happened, we didn't know that DD5's bio-grandmother is bipolar.

 

One day in court, dd5's grandmother was staring dh and I down. She was glaring at us and purposefully trying to intimidate us. She was to the point of looking back over her shoulder to glare at us for full minutes at a time. At a court room break, dh went.off.on.her outside the building (she went out to smoke and dh followed her out). He threatened that if she did it again, we were walking out of court and handing dd5 (under 2 at the time and our foster dd) over the foster system case worker and we would never look back.

 

Her adult kids saw what was happening, and sheepishly told us about her issues. At least it helped to explain the situation (and foreshadowed some of dd5's issues as well). They also had her sit in the car for the rest of the court session. LOL

 

Over the years, we got to know her, realizing that she was hit an miss with her meds...and we assessed day to day on whether we would spend time together or not. Had they not told us about her issues, there is no way I would have ever spent another minute with her, and dd5 would have missed out on getting to know her fun, kind bio-grandmother (as long as she is on her meds :) ).

[melissel]

It is helpful for others to be given a warning. When this story happened, we didn't know that DD5's bio-grandmother is bipolar.

 

One day in court, dd5's grandmother was staring dh and I down. She was glaring at us and purposefully trying to intimidate us. She was to the point of looking back over her shoulder to glare at us for full minutes at a time. At a court room break, dh went.off.on.her outside the building (she went out to smoke and dh followed her out). He threatened that if she did it again, we were walking out of court and handing dd5 (under 2 at the time and our foster dd) over the foster system case worker and we would never look back.

 

Her adult kids saw what was happening, and sheepishly told us about her issues. At least it helped to explain the situation (and foreshadowed some of dd5's issues as well). They also had her sit in the car for the rest of the court session. LOL

 

Over the years, we got to know her, realizing that she was hit an miss with her meds...and we assessed day to day on whether we would spend time together or not. Had they not told us about her issues, there is no way I would have ever spent another minute with her, and dd5 would have missed out on getting to know her fun, kind bio-grandmother (as long as she is on her meds :) ).

 

Tap, I don't know if I've said this before or not, but your little girl is so lucky to have you guys.

 

And to everyone else, thanks for the perspective. ITA that it sounds like more than just rudeness after all. We don't have anyone on the spectrum in our lives, so I would never have recognized any of it.