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I am afraid this will be somewhat anti-climactic. Apologies for those who had hoped for drama. There was none. It simply went like this:

 

We did get ready to go, and at about 5:30, I got a phone call from her saying "you're coming at six." I replied, "of course!" with as much cheeriness as I could possibly muster. It was actually a lot of cheeriness because I was truly looking forward to this. We arrived 5 minutes early. We know it was 5 minutes early because she mentioned that throughout the evening several times.

 

The meal was nice, but curious. Considering the list of restrictions she had given me, I was a bit confused to be served frozen pizza with cheese and most certainly with a wheat crust. We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert. Everything was tasty.

 

The dinner conversation had been carefully prepared ahead of time and consisted solely of an informative lecture on how serving a variety of foods was important. I certainly agreed with her and complimented her on what a lovely job she had done accomplishing just that. As soon as everyone had finished eating, she graciously showed us to the door and said good-bye.

 

We thanked her for an unforgettable evening. And that was it!

 

Are you sure that you haven't just been trolled in real life?!?!

 

Because either the woman is smarter (i.e.crafty) than she appears or else you should be going to the hospital to get your stomachs pumped.

 

 

Wow, just w.o.w :lol:

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Audrey. I need a head-shaking, incredulous, mouth-hanging-open smiley. If you weren't a veteran here, I would totally think you were full of it. I don't even have anything else to say about what happened.

 

Honestly, I'd be so tempted to cultivate a relationship with that wacko just to see what else she pulls out of her hat (and by hat, I certainly mean A$&!).

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Can I just say that I'd be pretty peeved?

 

For one thing, w/her list of restrictions, I would have assumed that I'd have been able to eat whatever she'd be serving.

 

Second, wth was the point of putting YOU through all of that?

 

 

I'm thinking real life troll.

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Don't mind me. I'm just over here in the corner trying to reconcile her instructions to you:

 

No dairy, no gluten, no seafood, no brassicas, no nightshades, no artificials colours, etc. etc.

 

With the food she served:

 

We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert.

 

 

Okay. I think I might see what happened. She didn't send you a list of what she wouldn't eat, she sent you a list of the only things she would eat. Because from her list she served you:

 

gluten & dairy (pizza), nightshade (tomates) artificial colors (Kraft, jello), and there may have been some brassica (I think mustard seed qualifies?) in the pickles. Only the seafood was missing.

 

She must have been so confused when none of her acceptable items were on your menu. ;)

 

What a loon.

 

And you were so gracious. I would not have been able to resist asking her to repeat her dietary restrictions and then "innocently" asking her what they thought they meant and then asking why they were all on the menu...

Edited by matroyshka
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Hmmm, I wonder if she did not really expect you to show up and just pulled out some odds and ends she had in her pantry and freezer when you told her you were. Who serves guests frozen pizza and kraft dinner. That's what I would make for my kids when dh is out of town or if my picky bil was coming to dinner.....lol

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Sounds like she served up the random carp she scrounged out of the back of her freezer and pantry.

 

Cooking Lesson #1: Real cooking does not involve actually making anything! Just open a random combination of jars, cans, and boxes and serve!

 

WTH is Kraft Dinner? I really don't know because I guess I'm just not an accomplished chef.

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I am afraid this will be somewhat anti-climactic. Apologies for those who had hoped for drama. There was none. It simply went like this:

 

We did get ready to go, and at about 5:30, I got a phone call from her saying "you're coming at six." I replied, "of course!" with as much cheeriness as I could possibly muster. It was actually a lot of cheeriness because I was truly looking forward to this. We arrived 5 minutes early. We know it was 5 minutes early because she mentioned that throughout the evening several times.

 

The meal was nice, but curious. Considering the list of restrictions she had given me, I was a bit confused to be served frozen pizza with cheese and most certainly with a wheat crust. We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert. Everything was tasty.

 

The dinner conversation had been carefully prepared ahead of time and consisted solely of an informative lecture on how serving a variety of foods was important. I certainly agreed with her and complimented her on what a lovely job she had done accomplishing just that. As soon as everyone had finished eating, she graciously showed us to the door and said good-bye.

 

We thanked her for an unforgettable evening. And that was it!

 

She served that to guests?!? I don't think I could feed my kids that combination if I was desperate. What a very, very bazaar menu. Maybe she grew up eating at a lot of buffets :confused:, because that is the only place I can imagine finding all those foods served at the same time.

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We did get ready to go, and at about 5:30, I got a phone call from her saying "you're coming at six." I replied, "of course!" with as much cheeriness as I could possibly muster. It was actually a lot of cheeriness because I was truly looking forward to this. We arrived 5 minutes early. We know it was 5 minutes early because she mentioned that throughout the evening several times.

 

My eldest dd's ukulele teacher is like that. We are "in trouble" if we are 5 minutes early *or* late, lol!

 

The meal was nice, but curious. Considering the list of restrictions she had given me, I was a bit confused to be served frozen pizza with cheese and most certainly with a wheat crust. We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert. Everything was tasty.
Like Melinda said, this is hard to reconcile with:

No dairy, no gluten, no seafood, no brassicas, no nightshades, no artificials colours, etc. etc.

 

How bizarre. The menu is bizarre enough on its own, but doubly so given the restriction list that she gave you? :confused: eta: It's particularly bizarre that she specified "no nightshades" and then served tomatoes? Does she know what a nightshade is? I would have called her on it.

 

 

The dinner conversation had been carefully prepared ahead of time and consisted solely of an informative lecture on how serving a variety of foods was important. I certainly agreed with her and complimented her on what a lovely job she had done accomplishing just that. As soon as everyone had finished eating, she graciously showed us to the door and said good-bye.
Man, she is so lucky that this was you versus some of the rest of us. How hilarious. Edited by Mrs Mungo
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:001_huh:

 

Don't mind me. I'm just over here in the corner trying to reconcile her instructions to you:

 

No dairy, no gluten, no seafood, no brassicas, no nightshades, no artificials colours, etc. etc.

 

With the food she served:

 

We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert.

 

Audrey, you'll win the Iron Chef match-up any day of the week. I hope any lingering bad feelings from the night they came to dinner at your house are gone, because it seems clear to me that this woman is hampered by something that is either not diagnosed or not sufficiently treated and this is all about the world she lives in and has nothing to do with reality.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

I have always admired you Audrey....but this week....YOU SHINE!!!!

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The meal was nice, but curious. Considering the list of restrictions she had given me, I was a bit confused to be served frozen pizza with cheese and most certainly with a wheat crust. We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert. Everything was tasty.

 

:lol::lol::lol: I'm wondering what exactly everyone did with the cranberry sauce? Ate it with a spoon? Scooped it onto their pizza?:confused:

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I am blown away. The only thing I would have eaten is the tomato. I'm just...speechless. It really does sound like she threw together the contents of the pantry and freezer.

 

Did she explain ...anything? In her lecture, did she touch on how and why she chose those foods, or why your menu was unacceptable?

 

I'm just... ah... I don't know.

 

How are you handling this so calmly? I would be so freaked out by this experience.

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We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert.

 

Wow. Did she at least give you some dijon ketchup to go with it? (Sorry, that's what Kraft dinner always make me think of!)

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Did you get to take your own mini slice of pizza, or did she serve each person?

 

Was there no dessert?

 

What kind of napkins?

 

What did you say after the third time she reminded you that you were "early"?

 

You realize you left way too many details out of the story, right?!

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Okay. I think I might see what happened. She didn't send you a list of what she wouldn't eat, she sent you a list of the only things she would eat. Because from her list she served you:

 

gluten & dairy (pizza), nightshade (tomates) artificial colors (Kraft, jello), and there may have been some brassica (I think mustard seed qualifies?) in the pickles. Only the seafood was missing.

 

She must have been so confused when none of her acceptable items were on your menu. ;)

 

What a loon.

 

And you were so gracious. I would not have been able to resist asking her to repeat her dietary restrictions and then "innocently" asking her what they thought they meant and then asking why they were all on the menu...

 

Personally, I'm a little miffed that you didn't ask her to clarify her position on the items ousted above. We need answers!!!

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Sounds like a dinner I'd dig out of my kitchen when dh was out of town & I wanted to make some stuff I could tolerate (cranberry sauce - LOVE the jellied out of the can, btw!! - and creamed corn) and stuff the kids would really want (pizza, mac & chees) with a few random "here, I had some of this around" items thrown on the table (pickles, jello). This was actually a PLANNED dinner, and you got a lecture on how variety is the *key* to an appropriate meal? Well... it DID have variety... :D

 

Amazing

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Sounds like a dinner I'd dig out of my kitchen when dh was out of town & I wanted to make some stuff I could tolerate (cranberry sauce - LOVE the jellied out of the can, btw!! - and creamed corn) and stuff the kids would really want (pizza, mac & chees) with a few random "here, I had some of this around" items thrown on the table (pickles, jello). This was actually a PLANNED dinner, and you got a lecture on how variety is the *key* to an appropriate meal? Well... it DID have variety... :D

 

Amazing

 

:lol: Who doesnt add a little of this and that but call it dinner every now and then?

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Audrey, you are a true class act. I so dislike cooking, and I would never consider serving that to a guest. Sounds like hubby reminded her tonight and she cooked the emergency we're broke meal.

 

Are you sure you weren't Punked?

 

Oh and if you ever come to my house, we'll at least serve two pizzas.

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Wow, Audrey, I have much admiration for you. Do you think there will be any more invitations?

 

Jen, She'll be inviting you as she knocks you over on her way to school on Monday!

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Audrey, you are a true class act. I so dislike cooking, and I would never consider serving that to a guest. Sounds like hubby reminded her tonight and she cooked the emergency we're broke meal.

 

Are you sure you weren't Punked?

 

Oh and if you ever come to my house, we'll at least serve two pizzas.

 

This is what I keep thinking. It has to be a joke. Right? :lol:

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:001_huh:

 

Wow.

 

Okay, I am more inclined to think that there is something *legitimately* wrong with her and the fact that you all had them over and then came to their home must be something that the husband and children are breathing a sigh of relief over and are GRATEFUL. Really. I bet it's been a while since there were people like you who would overlook mom's quirkiness and look beyond that and COME. I'm proud to *know* you.

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:001_huh:

 

Wow.

 

Okay, I am more inclined to think that there is something *legitimately* wrong with her and the fact that you all had them over and then came to their home must be something that the husband and children are breathing a sigh of relief over and are GRATEFUL. Really. I bet it's been a while since there were people like you who would overlook mom's quirkiness and look beyond that and COME. I'm proud to *know* you.

 

:iagree:

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I am afraid this will be somewhat anti-climactic. Apologies for those who had hoped for drama. There was none. It simply went like this:

 

We did get ready to go, and at about 5:30, I got a phone call from her saying "you're coming at six." I replied, "of course!" with as much cheeriness as I could possibly muster. It was actually a lot of cheeriness because I was truly looking forward to this. We arrived 5 minutes early. We know it was 5 minutes early because she mentioned that throughout the evening several times.

 

The meal was nice, but curious. Considering the list of restrictions she had given me, I was a bit confused to be served frozen pizza with cheese and most certainly with a wheat crust. We had the one 12" inch pepperoni pizza for the 7 of us which doesn't seem like a lot, but she also served creamed corn, homemade cranberry sauce, cut up tomatoes, sweet pickles, Kraft dinner and a rainbow jello salad with marshmallows for dessert. Everything was tasty.

 

The dinner conversation had been carefully prepared ahead of time and consisted solely of an informative lecture on how serving a variety of foods was important. I certainly agreed with her and complimented her on what a lovely job she had done accomplishing just that. As soon as everyone had finished eating, she graciously showed us to the door and said good-bye.

 

We thanked her for an unforgettable evening. And that was it!

 

:blink: I'm stumped, speechless. After all that talk of teaching you how to cook?!? Well, you are gracious, that's for sure. :D

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:lol::lol::lol:

 

She deserves some sort of award...I'm just not sure what it is yet.

 

You also deserve an award for not pointing out how much of an A$$ she is right in front of everyone.

 

I am seriously LOLing at her "restrictions" list vs. what she served, though. Whackaloon is too mild a word for what she is. I feel sorry for her DH and kids...most especially the kids. The DH chose to live with this, the kids did not.

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WTH is Kraft Dinner? I really don't know because I guess I'm just not an accomplished chef.

 

It's what Canadians call the regular Kraft macaroni and cheese in the blue box. I've been here so long now, it didn't occur to me to edit that.

 

 

Like Melinda said, this is hard to reconcile with:

No dairy, no gluten, no seafood, no brassicas, no nightshades, no artificials colours, etc. etc.

 

How bizarre. The menu is bizarre enough on its own, but doubly so given the restriction list that she gave you? :confused: eta: It's particularly bizarre that she specified "no nightshades" and then served tomatoes? Does she know what a nightshade is? I would have called her on it.

 

I was able to find out that she does not actually know what a nightshade or a brassica is. She specifically stated we were having none at the meal because those "give you bowel cancer."

 

Wow, Audrey, I have much admiration for you. Do you think there will be any more invitations?

 

By all the gods there may or may not be, please no.

 

 

Audrey, I have to say you are one classy woman. Did you at least bless her heart?? :tongue_smilie:

 

I am very sorry to say that a "bless your heart" did pass my lips in front of her. Thankfully, only my own family understands Southern.

 

:lol::lol::lol: I'm wondering what exactly everyone did with the cranberry sauce? Ate it with a spoon? Scooped it onto their pizza?:confused:

 

The cranberry sauce was actually very, very good. It was homemade and had nice, subtle touches of cinnamon and nutmeg to it. I did ask her for the recipe, and she was kind enough to give it to me.

 

I am blown away. The only thing I would have eaten is the tomato. I'm just...speechless. It really does sound like she threw together the contents of the pantry and freezer.

 

Did she explain ...anything? In her lecture, did she touch on how and why she chose those foods, or why your menu was unacceptable?

 

I'm just... ah... I don't know.

 

How are you handling this so calmly? I would be so freaked out by this experience.

 

We gleaned a bit more info on the food selections from her lecture, but it seems that she isn't really aware of what a nightshade or a brassica is, and her understanding of gluten is clearly not accurate. She told us that "since there is no yeast in pizza dough, there is no gluten."

 

I am handling it calmly because it is so humourous and I do love a good joke -- even if it is possibly being played upon me.

 

Did you get to take your own mini slice of pizza, or did she serve each person?

 

Was there no dessert?

 

What kind of napkins?

 

 

We were served a plate with some of everything on it. It was not a family style dinner with the dishes on the table.

 

Dessert was the rainbow jello with marshmallows. My son loved it, but sadly, there were no seconds to be had.

 

The napkins were the really nice Royale paper napkins.

 

 

Weeeeeeiiiiird. Did SHE eat everything she served?

 

I think so. She didn't eat much, but I think she had a bit of everything.

 

Bizarre!!! It's almost like she keeps a list of 'trendy' (for lack of a better word) food allergens, but doesn't really know what they entail. Or maybe she was just yanking your chain to see if you would rise to the challenge.

 

Well, dh and I have been trying to figure it out all evening. It's better than tv. We feel sure that she has a lot of issues and while we can speculate on what they are all night long (and we did!) we can't know for sure. She definitely has some kind of food issue, as again, she didn't eat much. She also doesn't know much about food, as her conversation proved. I think she may be using food and making pretenses to engender some kind of sympathy or other emotion from others. I don't think that it is the food as much as the attention that drives her -- attention to the food itself and attention paid to her because of her "restrictions."

 

As much as we do feel a kind of sympathy for her, though, we really can't be engaging with her on a regular basis. It is very stressful being around her, and we're not stress-loving people. We like to be laid back with our friends and we aren't masochists either. Her dh and kids are really nice people, but as a package deal, she's the deal breaker, I'm afraid. I just don't have that kind of emotional energy to devote to trying to befriend her.

 

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but to paraphrase.... "a gal's gotta know her limits."

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I'm just so... perplexed. I think perhaps you actually went to the Twilight Zone...

 

Seriously, though, it's clear she has issues of SOME sort, even though as you said, we can't know what they are. Wow. I don't fault you, really, for saying you can't be around them regularly... I think we all need to place some boundaries on people in our lives who suck out all our emotional energy.

 

I'll give her points for creativity. I've never served Kraft Dinner, frozen pizza, and cranberry sauce all at the same meal. The good news (and at the same time, bad news) is that you'll never forget either of these two evenings...

 

You are an amazing gracious woman and I'd be proud to share dinner with you anytime!!

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The cranberry sauce was actually very, very good. It was homemade and had nice, subtle touches of cinnamon and nutmeg to it. I did ask her for the recipe, and she was kind enough to give it to me.

 

 

 

I love cranberry sauce and that sounds very good but I always think of it as being served with something (turkey, chicken, pork roast, etc). It just seems like the cranberry sauce was the most random part of the meal.

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I don't think that it is the food as much as the attention that drives her -- attention to the food itself and attention paid to her because of her "restrictions."

 

this sounds accurate. I almost feel sorry for her... but not enough to stop laughing at her :001_smile:

 

As much as we do feel a kind of sympathy for her, though, we really can't be engaging with her on a regular basis. It is very stressful being around her, and we're not stress-loving people. We like to be laid back with our friends and we aren't masochists either. Her dh and kids are really nice people, but as a package deal, she's the deal breaker, I'm afraid. I just don't have that kind of emotional energy to devote to trying to befriend her.

 

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but to paraphrase.... "a gal's gotta know her limits."

sounds like a good decision to me... but I do think you need to share a meal with them once every 6weeks or two months, just for our entertainment.

 

I learnt a new word in this thread, and I think it's accurate... whackadoo!

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