Guest tigke Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 (edited) I NEED HELP WITH FEEDBACK ON THIS :confused: old book essay BOOK ESSAY Do you have a family like the people I am going to talk about in this essay? If you do God help you. I do not know how you put up with them. This essay is about the diary of Anne Frank, the book Summer of my German Soldier and my life. In this paragraph I am going to talk about the diary of Anne Frank. I think the author is trying to tell us that family is annoying at times, but if we do not have them life is worse. The Frank family is always pushing each others buttons. The father and the mother have a bad marriage. There is no mother-daughter relationship. In this paragraph I am going to talk about Summer of My German Soldier. I think the author is trying to tell use that family can be a little extreme with their beliefs and other things. Patty’s parents are people with extreme Jewish beliefs. Patty had to pray that her Dad would not come in and see her praying to Jesus. And her family would not see her in prison. This paragraph focuses on things about my life. I think I am trying to say that sometimes family can be fun. For instance, one time I sledded off the roof of our house and my Dad found out, then he and I did it again together (do not worry he was not on the sled). Another time my Dad and I were out in the road tossing a baseball together. Another time me and mom where making earrings together. This essay was about the diary of Anne Frank, Summer of My German Soldier and my family. Sometimes family can be annoying, sometimes family can be a little extreme and family can also be a lot of fun. Is your family annoying, extreme or fun? new improved book essay BOOK ESSAY Are you seeing signs of tragedy, dysfunction or annoyance in your family? If you do God help you. You may be headed down the long road of this essay about the Diary of Anne Frank, the book Summer of my German Soldier and my life. So if you do sit back, relax and enjoy and if you do not, read it anyway it may come in handy sometime in the future. In this paragraph you will hear about how annoying people come into play with family in these books. In the Diary of Anne Frank the annoying person is Anne Frank. In Summer of my German Soldier the annoying person is Sharon. In my life the annoying person is me. Anne Frank is annoying because she is always in the way. Asking the wrong questions and is always “mucking things up”. In Summer of my German Soldier the annoying person is Sharon because she is a brat. She always gets her way. She always has her mom on her side. In my life the annoying person is me because I am always complaining about doing things. I am always reading when I need to be doing other things. I never know when to stop the sarcasm and the side comments. In this paragraph you the reader will hear about how family is dysfunctional in these stories and in my life. In the Diary of Anne Frank the dysfunction is the mom and dad. In Summer of my German Soldier the whole family. In my life the dysfunction is my dad being gone. Anne Franks’ mom and dad had never had that “spark” as Anne Frank put it. They are always pushing each others buttons. They never I think had a very serious marriage. In Summer of My German Soldier dysfunction is found throughout the whole book because the mom took the cash that the grandmother gave the kids. Patty’s parents refused to see her in jail. Only Ruth was on her side when she was in trouble. Dysfunction runs rampant in my life because at Smithton when my dad kicked the bucket I got teased at school and this is I kid you not an exact quote “ha ha Wyatt your daddy’s dead, you loser”. I have no one in the house who I can talk to without mom freaking out. And I just miss him. This paragraph focuses on the tragedy in all the books. In Anne Frank only Otto Frank survives. In Summer of my German Soldier everyone in her life abandons her. In my life my dad died. The Diary of Anne Frank is a tragedy because Margo died. Anne Frank’s mom dies. Everyone just dies in that book which is so sad. In Summer of my German Soldier Patty goes to prison. In my life my dad is dead. This essay was about how tragedy and dysfunction and annoying people play into family in the Diary of Anne Frank, Summer of My German Soldier and my family. And how even with all this things the families somehow get by of course not without losses, in the Diary of Anne Frank everyone but one dude died. In Summer of my German Soldier Patty was disowned by her own family. In my life I have a dad who is six feet under. So even with all the challenges we face mostly everyone will make it through. Edited April 25, 2012 by tigke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tigke Posted April 24, 2012 Share Posted April 24, 2012 costlycactus@gmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Could you tell us what grade level this is for and what the actual assignment was? It would help a lot with giving you feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tigke Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 my grade is 8th and it is an essay about how family ties in with the diary of Anne frank,summer of my German soldier and my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 I like your improved essay much more than the first one.:001_smile: Here is my main suggestion: Take out all the parts where you say "In this paragraph. . ." Instead, for the first paragraph just say, "Annoying families come into play. . ." Your reader will figure out that that is what you are saying in your first paragraph.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tigke Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 you are a GRADE saver:party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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