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Those who have left their children with family during hospitalization


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Sometime in June I will go in for a c-section to deliver Baby Schmoo #3.

My eldest is almost 11 and is a very easy going child; she will be a huge help and can easily manage without us, lol (she frequently visits out of town relatives for sometimes a week at a time).

My concern is my almost 3 year old. He has had some very serious medical problems in his 3 years and has led a pretty sheltered existence (out of necessity for pre-op and post-op health). He doesn't really have much experience with people outside of our immediate circle (me, Dad, and Big Sis).

 

My mother and my aunt will be coming from 2 hours away to stay with our children and one of our dogs (Italian Greyhound) during the 3 or so days I'm in the hospital. We will be boarding our German Shepherd (AKA "Trouble"). My husband will be back and forth between here and the hospital, but because it's a c-section, he will be needed at the hospital (unless I kick him out and have Mom stay with me! Lol). Until my relatives can arrive, a neighbor will sit with them (I tend to go into labor around 36 weeks; despite the schedule sections at 39 weeks, lol).

 

I know I should leave some freezer meals (but what? I generally cook per the night) and some cash for activities and gas (how much?).

Call it pregnancy brain but I'm at a loss on what else to leave, make, or do before they come. Should I leave extra cash for them to shop for themselves (their food preferences) or should I stock up for them before I leave, because they aren't familiar with the area?

 

Also, what did you find necessary to have with you at the hospital? I mean, besides the obvious (clothing for me and babe, for example).

Edited by AimeeM
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I can't answer all of your questions but I've had surgeries where I was out of commission for a while. I had a few friends who offered to make meals - which helped but I also made some meals ahead, made lists for whoever was staying with my kids so they knew what they could eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks and I did leave money for any trips to the grocery store and for eating out. As to what to bring to the hospital...I did a quick Google search and actually saw a link to "What to Bring to the Hospital When Having a C-Section"! http://www.workitmom.com/articles/detail/6555 Hope this helps!!

 

Bless you!

Gisele

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When I had a c-section and had other children at home, my husband was their primary caretaker (other than during the actual operation and meeting the baby!) and my mom and sister and friends kept me company at the hospital.

 

I'm a minimalist, so I just had a few books/magazines and clothing. I always found that 4-5 days in the hospital very relaxing, even while holding my tummy together! Oh, and food, since they didn't provide kosher food and I had to have all my own food. :tongue_smilie:

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When I had a c-section and had other children at home, my husband was their primary caretaker (other than during the actual operation and meeting the baby!) and my mom and sister and friends kept me company at the hospital.

 

I was happy with a hospital gown and a hospital robe. Cotton and clean every day. I didn't crack a book. I napped, adored baby, and asked the nurses questions. Hubby came at night and slept on the couchy thing with baby on his chest. He'd pop in once during the day, but spent the rest of the time taking care of dog and doing finishing touches on the house and his life (he was going to start being a SAHD and he had lumber to move, etc.). Personally, I'd have hubby home more making sure the house was in order, and not have non-stop company during the day. I sure needed to store up some crisp-sheeted naps!

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Have you had a c-section before? They can be pretty unpredictable.

 

When I had mine, I also had an almost 3-year-old. My spouse was at the birth and for several hours after while we had a caretaker with our daughter at home. After that, either both of them were at the hospital, or both were at home.

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Some hospitals require there to be another adult in the room if the baby is in the room, after a c section, so I understand wanting hubby or someone with you. I know with mine I couldn't have my baby unless my dh or someone else was there and awake. They didn't want newly cut on mom in charge of getting the baby out of the bassinet and such. Leave some frozen pizzas and junk food, some stew makings or something, some sandwich makings, and snacks and cereal and milk.

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Have you had a c-section before? They can be pretty unpredictable.

 

When I had mine, I also had an almost 3-year-old. My spouse was at the birth and for several hours after while we had a caretaker with our daughter at home. After that, either both of them were at the hospital, or both were at home.

I have had two sections. We already have emergency child care in order (several neighbors; close knit subdivision) and family coming into town on a moment's notice. I have no desire to have my other children at the hospital for more than an hour at a time :D

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I have had two sections. We already have emergency child care in order (several neighbors; close knit subdivision) and family coming into town on a moment's notice. I have no desire to have my other children at the hospital for more than an hour at a time :D

 

I understand. :)

You are fortunate, and have obviously planned well, to have such well-organized support.

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I understand. :)

You are fortunate, and have obviously planned well, to have such well-organized support.

Planned well? *chuckle* No. Just lucky to live in such a wonderful neighborhood; otherwise, considering the closest family is just over 2 hours away, I would NOT be this prepared :tongue_smilie:.

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I've never had a C/S before, but I have left my family to give birth in the hospital. My parents live nearby, but I still wanted to make things easier for them.

 

Yes, have some meals made up in the freezer. If I were you, just make your kids' favorite casseroles and freeze them. Some things I like to have on hand:

 

homemade chicken pot pie

homemade chili

homemade pizza dough

lasagna and other pasta bakes

 

banana bread

blueberry muffins

homemade waffles or pancakes (make a big batch and freeze)

 

 

As for activities, I think that providing $$ for the local zoo would be nice, or children's museum. Money for gas? Sure, why not?

 

As for food for them? I dunno, can't they just eat what you have in your house? Are there dietary restrictions?

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I've never had a C/S before, but I have left my family to give birth in the hospital. My parents live nearby, but I still wanted to make things easier for them.

 

Yes, have some meals made up in the freezer. If I were you, just make your kids' favorite casseroles and freeze them. Some things I like to have on hand:

 

homemade chicken pot pie

homemade chili

homemade pizza dough

lasagna and other pasta bakes

 

banana bread

blueberry muffins

homemade waffles or pancakes (make a big batch and freeze)

 

 

As for activities, I think that providing $$ for the local zoo would be nice, or children's museum. Money for gas? Sure, why not?

 

As for food for them? I dunno, can't they just eat what you have in your house? Are there dietary restrictions?

Good call on the zoo. We have a family membership, but it can't be used without me, so I need to find out their per person rates. We also have a children's museum within 5 minutes from us (yay for living in downtown district! Lol).

 

Dietary restrictions. Yes, my mother is on a strict diet (for weight loss reasons following a series of mini strokes a year ago). I definitely want her to NOT feel obligated to cook her own meals, on top of the help she is providing already. Unfortunately, my children are underweight and on their own "diets"... diets that are opposite my mother's; so they can't eat the same foods. I think I'll call her and ask what her favorite prepared meals are, or if she has some special frozen meals she can eat, that I can pick up for her.

 

I know they won't ASK for gas money, but I also know that my mother had to take a less stressful position at work because of her strokes... and she took a pay cut, on top of supporting my younger sister and her child. I don't want to be a burden to her. KWIM?

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The most helpful thing I can think to tell you is what I would want/need from the perspective of the mom or aunt coming to take care of the kids and dog, so I'll do that.

 

I'd want to know the dog's care schedule. I know nothing about dogs, so hopefully either they *do*, or your 11 yo can handle it, or you typed it out somewhere. I seriously would need to know: how/what/when to feed and water, where/when to let them out, and anything else.

 

I'd want to know where I was sleeping (I assume that's arranged, but jsut throwing things out there). If you had your dishes caught up, that'd be good. Also, stock your fridge and pantry with the basics, like beans, flour, sugar, eggs, milk, cheese, butter, meat, produce, etc; whatever staples you keep in your house. Then have an envelope with cash that's clearly marked : "This is money for Mom and Aunty to use for any groceries, take out, gas, or anything else they need. I EXPECT you to use it! :)" on it. That way, your mom and aunt don't feel like they're putting you out.

 

Also as mom or aunty, I'd love it if there was a paper that laid out what the 'typical' day was for your kids. Things like when they usually get up, when they usually go to bed, when they usually eat. Stuff like that. I realize that 'mom's having a baby' time is going to be different than normal days, but something to refernce is good.

 

Just some ideas. Oh, and If anyone ever asked me to do this for them, I'd feel so blessed. My boys are old enough now that they could come along and be good help. I could clean, make meals, do laundry. Man, I gotta start thinking about my girlfriends who are expecting and see if any of them would like me to come help...

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The most helpful thing I can think to tell you is what I would want/need from the perspective of the mom or aunt coming to take care of the kids and dog, so I'll do that.

 

I'd want to know the dog's care schedule. I know nothing about dogs, so hopefully either they *do*, or your 11 yo can handle it, or you typed it out somewhere. I seriously would need to know: how/what/when to feed and water, where/when to let them out, and anything else.

 

I'd want to know where I was sleeping (I assume that's arranged, but jsut throwing things out there). If you had your dishes caught up, that'd be good. Also, stock your fridge and pantry with the basics, like beans, flour, sugar, eggs, milk, cheese, butter, meat, produce, etc; whatever staples you keep in your house. Then have an envelope with cash that's clearly marked : "This is money for Mom and Aunty to use for any groceries, take out, gas, or anything else they need. I EXPECT you to use it! :)" on it. That way, your mom and aunt don't feel like they're putting you out.

 

Also as mom or aunty, I'd love it if there was a paper that laid out what the 'typical' day was for your kids. Things like when they usually get up, when they usually go to bed, when they usually eat. Stuff like that. I realize that 'mom's having a baby' time is going to be different than normal days, but something to refernce is good.

 

Just some ideas. Oh, and If anyone ever asked me to do this for them, I'd feel so blessed. My boys are old enough now that they could come along and be good help. I could clean, make meals, do laundry. Man, I gotta start thinking about my girlfriends who are expecting and see if any of them would like me to come help...

Luckily they have stayed with us for extended periods before (when my almost 3 year old had his lung surgery about a year ago), so they are familiar with the one dog they will be sitting with. Autumn (the elder) can more than handle feeding the dog (and it is a "chore" she had daily). Since we are boarding the insane German Shepherd, dog care should be cake leaving them only with the 10 lb Italian Greyhound who just wants a blanket to curl under. Lol.

I am blessed to have such a wonderful family. They travel down up to help for births, health problems with the children... and just to be available during stressful times.

If I stick to my schedule section date, dishes will be caught up and the house will be clean (I'm a nut for a clean house); but if I go into labor *surprise* style like I usually do (around 36 weeks), I can't promise it. I hope they don't mind :(

 

I know this will pose a problem for my younger sister (who lives with my Mother and depends on her for childcare while she works), so I did tell my Mom she is more than welcome to bring my sister's toddler (same age as my almost 3 year old); unless, of course, she needs a "break" (my house is sometimes used as a refuge for family who need a rather quiet, laid back "break", lol). In which case I'm happy to provide an excuse for her to get away :D.

I'm thinking of nixing school work for my oldest while I'm in the hospital - she will have her hands full helping (and she is a HUGE help always - I've never met a more involved big sister, almost to a fault) and being excited. Lol.

You did remind me that I need to write down medication schedules and a list of my son's specialists and the children's regular pediatrician, as well as our paid sitter should the need arise. All of our neighbors are great and it's a close knit subdivision - they all want to help. I'm afraid that my Mom and Aunt will hesitate to ask though. Thing is, if my son starts freaking out, my neighbors know him so well that I really HOPE my Mom listens to me and just takes him on a walk to knock on neighbors' doors. Lol. It will calm him and it's familiar to him (walks, playing in random yards, seeing familiar faces, etc).

I'm over thinking this. Bad habit of mine. Last time I left the house with them (and my daughter, while we stayed at the hospital with my son), I left a detailed list of every movement my daughter might make during the day. It was never touched and guess what? My house and child survived regardless. Lol. I need to chill :tongue_smilie:.

Edited by AimeeM
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:grouphug: You aren't over thinking! You're doing great and over planning is easier than under planning and then having to deal with an emergency.

 

I am guilty of over thinking these types of situations! My mom and dad were going to stay at our house while I was in the hospital delivering our oldest. For some reason, I decided to label everything in the kitchen. I spent an hour labeling cabinets and drawers and containers. My dh came home from work and thought I had lost my mind! We spent the entire evening laughing that I thought my parents might need a label to find a fork. Our entire house was 1000 square feet, so the kitchen was really tiny. For several months, my dh would walk in a circle in the kitchen and act like he couldn't find anything. :lol:

 

I hope everything goes well with your delivery and your guest/helper!

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