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This has been a horrible two weeks. First I get a hand injury which refuses to heal. Second and more important I'm having serious doubts about hs. DS is very bright -he is actually sounding words and reading after a long struggle. However...:banghead:.

 

We took himto a martial art class and he was horrified and said it was too violent. Right...following his own requests we took him for a trial paino lesson and the teacher said the same thing I've noticed in the past. DS can do things, but he doesn't do things "seriously" -he wants to clown around and "perform"for an audience -he'll do anything to get a laugh out of you. He seems to have trouble letting other people "teach" him. DH is NOT amused. He blames hs for ds's lack of discipline. He says a school might not provide the best education but at least they teach children how to obey and follow rules. He thinks ps is what is needed.

 

Of course I feel terrible. I'm sure all this is my fault. All this short and happy lessons have worked very well in the academic sense but I can sense DH is just fed up with ds being such a stubborn/clown character. The sad thing is that ds is a happy child and for the most part well-behaved and super affectionate. Yes, ds is 5yo but...I'm pretty sure most hs children are well disciplined and I have somehow truly messed up.

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:grouphug:You poor thing...:grouphug:

 

Your ds is 5 and will learn as he grows...You haven't messed up; he's just a little guy. Trust me, you'll blink and your baby will be turning 15 wanting to shave.

 

fwiw, Most of our local piano instructors wouln't think of teaching a 5 y/old.

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I agree! He's 5! And he's a little boy! I have 2 boys. They are little balls of energy. They don't sit well.

Lots of :grouphug::grouphug: and a few suggestions.

 

My boys didn't start formal martial arts until 6. Well, my little one was 5, but had been around it for 3 years at that point. We have been active in taekwondo for the last 6 years and love. Give it another year and try again.

 

My oldest read at 2. My youngest was closer to 7. Each kid is different. My oldest would sit for hours and listen to me read books. My youngest wanted to run and climb and jump and play.

 

If you don't want to take a break from schooling until he' a bit older, try 10 minutes of instruction 30 minutes of play. You will be much happier and so will he. Our trampoline is the best thing I've ever bought. Instant energy buster!

 

Looking back, now that my boys are 9 and almost 12, I wish I had slowed down. I wish that I had rough housed and played and been silly more. I wish I had not pushed my oldest so hard-yes, he read at 2 and was capable of lots by the time he was 5, but that didn't mean he was ready, regardless of the fact that I was ready.

 

Hang in there. You're doing fine! Is your boy happy? Does he like to play and does he laugh? Then you're a good mom and a good teacher.

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Sounds very much like my almost 5 yo. He can be so sweet and well behaved, but at times (especially when tired) he can be the biggest clown or whiner. If he gets attention for this behavior it just makes it worse.

 

I was a substitute teacher for several years, I saw several children like this. It's usually just a phase that they'll grow out of. Impulse control is not one of there better skills right now.

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DH is NOT amused. He blames hs for ds's lack of discipline. He says a school might not provide the best education but at least they teach children how to obey and follow rules. He thinks ps is what is needed.

 

I would actually make the opposite argument. School should be where children go to learn. Home should be where they learn to obey and follow rules. I think kids that have trouble obeying at home also have trouble obeying at school. However, the school is more limited in discipline options because they aren't the parent.

 

That said, I think I would reevaluate if he has discipline issues or if he is just a silly boy. From my understanding 5 is youngish to start piano. How about an active class like trampoline or tumbling? Or swimming lessons this summer? Something that is short lived and doesn't require a long term commitment?

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5 may be far too young for piano, or anything that is too structured and requires the kind of attentiveness that is difficult for many 5 year old boys.

 

I would try soccer, or t-ball, or a tumbling class. When DS was 5 he was horrified by the trial tae kwan do class we tried. Aikido is a gentle martial arts and is quite beautiful. If you want a martial arts that teaches respect and discipline, this does so by instilling manners in a very gentle and loving way. It is more about avoiding/getting out of a fighting situation than active punching/kicking. Kind of like self defense.

 

But if you are just worried that your 5 year old seems nutty just enjoy the silliness before it goes away :hugs:

 

My DS is now going on 8 and he is all the maturity and responsible you could imagine!

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Send him to my house. Our homeschool nickname is Clown College. :D I think a 5 year old who is a cut-up is a gift from above! How tedious to have a boring child. You do not! The trick is to help your child determine when are appropriate times to cut loose.

 

I don't see why you can't instill rules that would satisfy you and your husband's requirements while still homeschooling and retaining your happy child. My children are required by me to focus and put effort into things they join. They know going in that if I write a check for something, such as swim team, T-ball or dance, they must participate to the best of their ability. Clowning is fine for home and before and after practice, but once Coach calls order, or Mom rings the schoolbell (it was my Mother's when she was a teacher), the clowning gets put aside. Do we have funny moments during school? You bet. But they spontaneously happen, v. my children trying to orchestrate them happening. I guess that's where I draw the line during formal teamwork or schoolwork. My 2 cents would be to determine where your lines are, and simply work to enforce them.

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5 may be far too young for piano, or anything that is too structured and requires the kind of attentiveness that is difficult for many 5 year old boys.

 

I would try soccer, or t-ball, or a tumbling class. When DS was 5 he was horrified by the trial tae kwan do class we tried. Aikido is a gentle martial arts and is quite beautiful. If you want a martial arts that teaches respect and discipline, this does so by instilling manners in a very gentle and loving way. It is more about avoiding/getting out of a fighting situation than active punching/kicking. Kind of like self defense.

 

But if you are just worried that your 5 year old seems nutty just enjoy the silliness before it goes away :hugs:

 

My DS is now going on 8 and he is all the maturity and responsible you could imagine!

 

:iagree:

 

My son hated piano lessons at age 5. We waited and started him on classical guitar at age 6 and he has thrived. He now takes two different private lessons each week, one of which is taught by a man who used to perform in major venues the world over. His lessons are VERY structured, VERY high expectation, and ds practices for an hour a day. The fact that he wasn't ready for lessons at age 5 has not held him back musically in any way. If you could hear him playing Beethoven you would agree.

 

Ds also balked at reading when he was 5. I was nearly in tears over this because my dd had done really well with reading and phonics earlier than this. I left it alone for four months until one day ds came to me and said, "I really need to know about the letters and the sounds and stuff." He demanded I teach him, which I was glad to do. He mastered reading without difficulty, and I was glad that I hadn't pushed too hard earlier.

 

My son is a high-energy boy who needs a LOT of activity. We are grateful that homeschooling allows him to get as much exercise as he needs. When he was 5, we did lessons for 20 minutes at a time, after which ds needed to go climb a tree or kick a soccer ball. He alternated work and play throughout the day.

 

Ds is now 11yo. He can work steadily for a couple hours before needing a break. He has a business weeding and doing yard work. When the heat is intense he works early, at 6:30 or 7am, followed by school work at home. He practices guitar for an hour a day--challenging, advanced stuff, not just chords. Ds is athletic and plays sports year round (soccer, volleyball, track, basketball, swimming, etc.). He is able to sit still and respond to instruction for his coaches, Spanish teacher, music instructors, at church, etc. My point is not to brag about my son, but to show that he went from a VERY wiggly little guy to a boy who handles responsibility comfortably.

 

Some kids are ready for structure at 5, and some are not. Just keep teaching and coaching and you will find he grows into maturity just fine. He's only 5.

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Send him to my house. Our homeschool nickname is Clown College. :D I think a 5 year old who is a cut-up is a gift from above! How tedious to have a boring child. You do not! The trick is to help your child determine when are appropriate times to cut loose.

 

I don't see why you can't instill rules that would satisfy you and your husband's requirements while still homeschooling and retaining your happy child. My children are required by me to focus and put effort into things they join. They know going in that if I write a check for something, such as swim team, T-ball or dance, they must participate to the best of their ability. Clowning is fine for home and before and after practice, but once Coach calls order, or Mom rings the schoolbell (it was my Mother's when she was a teacher), the clowning gets put aside. Do we have funny moments during school? You bet. But they spontaneously happen, v. my children trying to orchestrate them happening. I guess that's where I draw the line during formal teamwork or schoolwork. My 2 cents would be to determine where your lines are, and simply work to enforce them.

 

Love your post. BTW What is being a "cut up"?

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Goodness, I've never met a five year old boy who COULD sit still for very long, or who was disciplined enough to stick with much of anything. They're not supposed to at that age. We tried Tae Kwon Do when DS was 4 or 5... he was also horrified, upset that the leader "yelled" at them (raised his voice over the din of young children in a commanding manner), and didn't want anything to do with it.

 

Honestly... sending him back to school will not help "change" the personality. Instead, he may be fueled by other "class clown" types. The environment of a bunch of kids that age is not a serious, disciplined one.

 

He's fine, and you're doing a great job! Do activities that let him get some energy out, and keep working with him on rules, on there being a right time and place for acting certain ways. It will work out.

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He's 5! Let him Play!! Behavior problems only get worse in ps. He sounds like a normal 5 year old. They shouldn't be stuck inside having to sit in the same seat all day long. I totally agree w/ Mathew Cuthburt (Anne of Green Gables), Children should not attend school before age 7 (and then it should be at home, for elementary school at least-me)

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Thank you all so much for the replies. DH is less grumpy now.

 

I rang my mum and she totally agreed with you lot! I forgot to say that I had booked a 30min lesson and it ran for 45min!

 

I think ds needs to take things more seriously, but we also need to be more patient with him and what he can realistically do.

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A cut up is someone that makes lots of jokes.
Aha! I thought so...;)

 

He's 5! Let him Play!! Behavior problems only get worse in ps. He sounds like a normal 5 year old. They shouldn't be stuck inside having to sit in the same seat all day long. I totally agree w/ Mathew Cuthburt (Anne of Green Gables), Children should not attend school before age 7 (and then it should be at home, for elementary school at least-me)
I agree. Now I need to convince dh. :glare:

 

To be fair, it's totally normal to freak out as a parent too. :D
I seem to freak out every 10 minutes .:tongue_smilie:

 

And, now going for a cuppa. I wish I could give you all a hug. Once again the Hive saves my sanity. :D

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Like everyone else said, it's typical behavior for a 5 yr. old boy. My kids still goof around and make silly noises during school time, outside lessons, etc. And, homeschooling students aren't necessarily better behaved than any other kids. At least, not in my experience. I really don't think school will help with changing his behavior. I think those expectations should come from you and your dh as parents. Your son's behavior will hopefully mature as he does.

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