My 5-year old doesn't want to write anymore and acts silly all the time

[MamaBearTeacher]

It's not just writing. He's become difficult, saying no to many activities and wanting to act silly.

 

Basically, from September to February he was very interested in drawing, writing, coloring, numbers. He learned all uppercase letters but still makes them messy and still needs to learn the correct order of strokes completely. He learned to write numbers 1-7 properly. There is still more to do and work on. He cannot write most lowercase letters independently. Now, whenever I try to get him to sit and write he says no or he giggles and scribbles and throws crayons and acts silly. Same with coloring. He will still paint.

 

Basically, the silliness is the problem. A lot of the day he wants to be silly and I can't seem to get him out of it. His obedience which had improved dramatically from age 4 has gone down the drain. He is very well behaved in public, but not at home.

 

In early March I gave him a few weeks not doing the writing, thinking he might be interested again later. When we went back to it there had been a bit of a leap but he would only do it for one day, then he refused again. I have since then started a scheduled time every morning but he is refusing and acting silly and rebelling.

 

I don't know what to do. I am afraid if I push too much it will turn him off and I don't want him to think of writing as a drag or chore. I want him to love it like he did before. Still, these are the basics and he needs to learn them. Is there a particular product/curriculum that will make this more exciting? Anyone go through this with their child? Any advice?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I found Hooked on Handwriting at a discount store and bought it for my boys. The best part about it was that it came with a sort of chart that you could fill in when you learned the letters. I told my kids that when they completed their charts they could pick out a prize at the store. They were both reluctant writers, and the prize at the end really motivated them. You could try offering some kind of incentive, maybe.

[Jane in NC]

Have you considered Montessori-like activities? These are often designed to develop prehensile skills while directing the normal energy of a vibrant child.

 

Also, the child is five. Maybe he is too young for the program you are trying to impose, she asks gingerly.

[JudoMom]

It's not just writing. He's become difficult, saying no to many activities and wanting to act silly.

 

Basically, from September to February he was very interested in drawing, writing, coloring, numbers. He learned all uppercase letters but still makes them messy and still needs to learn the correct order of strokes completely. He learned to write numbers 1-7 properly. There is still more to do and work on. He cannot write most lowercase letters independently. Now, whenever I try to get him to sit and write he says no or he giggles and scribbles and throws crayons and acts silly. Same with coloring. He will still paint.

 

Basically, the silliness is the problem. A lot of the day he wants to be silly and I can't seem to get him out of it. His obedience which had improved dramatically from age 4 has gone down the drain. He is very well behaved in public, but not at home.

 

In early March I gave him a few weeks not doing the writing, thinking he might be interested again later. When we went back to it there had been a bit of a leap but he would only do it for one day, then he refused again. I have since then started a scheduled time every morning but he is refusing and acting silly and rebelling.

 

I don't know what to do. I am afraid if I push too much it will turn him off and I don't want him to think of writing as a drag or chore. I want him to love it like he did before. Still, these are the basics and he needs to learn them. Is there a particular product/curriculum that will make this more exciting? Anyone go through this with their child? Any advice?

 

When my boys are 4-5, I work on teaching them that when I say it's time for school, it's time to sit down and work. It's a time of developing habits. Anything they actually learn is a welcomed byproduct.

 

The refusal and the silliness would be met with a consequence. Lessons might only be 5-10 minutes long, but I require attention and obedience during that time. Some things simply aren't fun and exciting, but they're required because they lead to fun and exciting things in the future.

[MamaBearTeacher]

When my boys are 4-5, I work on teaching them that when I say it's time for school, it's time to sit down and work. It's a time of developing habits. Anything they actually learn is a welcomed byproduct.

 

The refusal and the silliness would be met with a consequence. Lessons might only be 5-10 minutes long, but I require attention and obedience during that time. Some things simply aren't fun and exciting, but they're required because they lead to fun and exciting things in the future.

 

What kind of consequence and how would you impose it exactly? I think the silliness is the biggest obstacle and I have not found a way to dealt with it effectively.

[JudoMom]

What kind of consequence and how would you impose it exactly? I think the silliness is the biggest obstacle and I have not found a way to dealt with it effectively.

 

What are your family consequences for other misbehavior? I would probably have him stand with his nose in the corner when he was silly, and then bring him back to finish the lesson.

 

With the lessons, though, you want to set him up for success. I rarely told my boys their full plan for the school day when they were young. That left me wiggle room to change course depending on attitude. There were times I sat down with a boy and a handwriting page with the intention of having him do the whole thing. But as soon as we sat down, I saw that he really wasn't in the right frame of mind to do what I'd planned. So I would have him do half of it, and then I would tell him that he'd completed handwriting for the day. Then there were days we sat down and they were ready to do double what I'd planned.

[MamaBearTeacher]

My son will either run out of the corner or he will not care. We haven't really found consequences that work for him. Maybe I haven't been strict enough but I don't really know how to do that.

 

I do like the idea of telling him the lesson is done when I see he is done though lately he will not even start.

[JudoMom]

My son will either run out of the corner or he will not care. We haven't really found consequences that work for him. Maybe I haven't been strict enough but I don't really know how to do that.

 

I do like the idea of telling him the lesson is done when I see he is done though lately he will not even start.

 

I guess we're pretty strict, especially when they're younger (as they've gotten older we've been able to lighten up). I would simply quietly put him back to the corner every time, and start his time over. I would start with just having him write one letter.

[kalanamak]

When my boys are 4-5, I work on teaching them that when I say it's time for school, it's time to sit down and work. It's a time of developing habits. Anything they actually learn is a welcomed byproduct.

 

The refusal and the silliness would be met with a consequence. Lessons might only be 5-10 minutes long, but I require attention and obedience during that time. Some things simply aren't fun and exciting, but they're required because they lead to fun and exciting things in the future.

 

:iagree: I joined in the silliness. We wrote very silly things. Since was no longer easy or a passion, I would make it the minimal, but expect it to be done properly. School always ended on a "good" note for us. If he had a bad time, at 5, I'd coax and be firm for just 5 mintues of good behavior, and then we'd do some science hands on things. Plus, at the end of school, for my wiggly, wiggly boy, it was often right out the door to outside play or, if nasty out, the gym to swim. His language was and is physical movement, and once he's done his sit down work, he knows it'll be be wild time. This strategy has paid off for us.

 

If every day had turned into a battle and a melt down, at 5, I would delay those things, and just try to get 10-15 minutes sitting and focusing on something bookish, to train the legs to bend, the rearend to stay put, the lip to button, and the ears to open.

[kalanamak]

My son will either run out of the corner or he will not care. We haven't really found consequences that work for him. Maybe I haven't been strict enough but I don't really know how to do that.

 

I used the When .... then. "When you are done with your work, Papa is going to play ball with you." "When you are done with X, you may call your friend down the street." "When you are done, I'll get the legos down from the top shelf". This mimics my life: when you are done with work, you get to go home and take off your hose.

 

But at 5, it is tough for some. I was very wiggly, I come from a wiggly family, and I didn't ask for some of what other people ask of their child. Aside from learning to cue to sitting and paying attention even if for a short time, my goal at 5 was to develop JOY in learning about the world. I work for carrots. Sticks make me anxious and defensive, and I don't do my best work. I'm a carrot girl. And I think my son has my attitude.

 

Noses in the corner would have backfired for us. The very few times I did that was for physical disobedience/destruction, when a number of minutes to calm and think would be useful. I think I stopped at age 4. I did the minute per year of age rule. My gradeschool had its equivalent of noses in the corner and it RUINED my attitude towards school at age 6. It is one of the reasons I homeschool. So my son wouldn't have to have a year of trips to the principal's office and a year of big, red, frowny faces drawn on every page of written work because it was "sloppy".

 

HTH.

[Ellie]

Sounds as if he's finished with the school year. I say let it go and enjoy.

 

He's just 5. He doesn't need to Do School. Give him some time off; work on general behavior if you need to, but I'd let Official School Stuff go for awhile.

[Kathleen in VA]

I wonder, like Jean, if the program you are using is creating the behaviors you are seeing. Personally, I think 5yo is much too young for a child, especially a boy, to be expected to sit at a desk and write. I'm old school. I think it does more damage to push academics at this age than it does to let them play, color, paint, squish playdough, etc. His fine motor skills may just not be ready for whatever it is you want him to do.

 

If he were mine, I'd set the paper work aside and instead work on building fine motor control through activities such as cutting, molding with clay, playing with legos, etc. I'd read to him a lot. I'd spend time outside working on a garden and/or just going on nature walks. I'd do some birdwatching. Turn over some logs or rocks and find out what bugs live underneath. Try to identify the trees in your yard or a nearby park.

 

Whatever takes you a year to teach a 5 year old will take you much less time to teach a 7 year old. Your main objective should be to inspire enthusiasm for all the world has to offer. Use everyday life to draw out your child's natural curiosity about the world around him - ask questions and let him ask questions. Find the answers together.

 

I feel like I'm not putting this very well. The main thing is get your little one to wonder - to make observations - to just ponder the world around him. Take whatever is happening - chores, the weather, holidays, visitors, trips to the store - just anything at all - and create a desire to know.

 

There will be plenty of time for academics, for sitting still, for writing, for math facts. Right now, it should be about "I wonder why," "I wonder how," "I wonder what would happen if" etc.

 

That doesn't mean he will just be playing all day. He needs to learn to obey your voice. He can learn that as you go through the day as well. He should be learning to make his bed, keep his room tidy, put away anything he gets out, help with the chores, etc. You can direct his activity and expect him to obey you. Work on that main character quality - obedience - until he's got it down pat. Then, later, when you will require him to sit and do academic work he will be prepared to do what you say and not resist you. I think Dad needs to be involved in this, too, if at all possible. Dad should make it very clear that your son is expected to do what he is told and to respect you. That should be settled before he is ever asked to sit at a desk and do academic work.

 

Let the child's first lesson be obedience, and the second will be what thou wilt. Ben Franklin

[kalanamak]

What kind of consequence and how would you impose it exactly? I think the silliness is the biggest obstacle and I have not found a way to dealt with it effectively.

 

Run the pants off of him. I school in the late afternoon, and hubby's job is to have the boy fed, bathed, dressed, and having had the pants run off of him by the time I get home from work.

 

I learned this trick from dog training. A big hard run with a panting dog willing to sit down. Give them a little rest and some water, and once the panting stops, start the lesson.

[JudoMom]

I wonder, like Jean, if the program you are using is creating the behaviors you are seeing. Personally, I think 5yo is much too young for a child, especially a boy, to be expected to sit at a desk and write. I'm old school. I think it does more damage to push academics at this age than it does to let them play, color, paint, squish playdough, etc. His fine motor skills may just not be ready for whatever it is you want him to do.

 

If he were mine, I'd set the paper work aside and instead work on building fine motor control through activities such as cutting, molding with clay, playing with legos, etc. I'd read to him a lot. I'd spend time outside working on a garden and/or just going on nature walks. I'd do some birdwatching. Turn over some logs or rocks and find out what bugs live underneath. Try to identify the trees in your yard or a nearby park.

 

Whatever takes you a year to teach a 5 year old will take you much less time to teach a 7 year old. Your main objective should be to inspire enthusiasm for all the world has to offer. Use everyday life to draw out your child's natural curiosity about the world around him - ask questions and let him ask questions. Find the answers together.

 

I feel like I'm not putting this very well. The main thing is get your little one to wonder - to make observations - to just ponder the world around him. Take whatever is happening - chores, the weather, holidays, visitors, trips to the store - just anything at all - and create a desire to know.

 

There will be plenty of time for academics, for sitting still, for writing, for math facts. Right now, it should be about "I wonder why," "I wonder how," "I wonder what would happen if" etc.

 

That doesn't mean he will just be playing all day. He needs to learn to obey your voice. He can learn that as you go through the day as well. He should be learning to make his bed, keep his room tidy, put away anything he gets out, help with the chores, etc. You can direct his activity and expect him to obey you. Work on that main character quality - obedience - until he's got it down pat. Then, later, when you will require him to sit and do academic work he will be prepared to do what you say and not resist you. I think Dad needs to be involved in this, too, if at all possible. Dad should make it very clear that your son is expected to do what he is told and to respect you. That should be settled before he is ever asked to sit at a desk and do academic work.

 

Let the child's first lesson be obedience, and the second will be what thou wilt. Ben Franklin

 

Well said, Kathleen. While we chose to do some desk work early, obedience should absolutely be the first lesson.

[kalanamak]

Well said, Kathleen. While we chose to do some desk work early, obedience should absolutely be the first lesson.

 

:iagree: My mother gave me 4 bits of direct advice over the 49 years I knew her. The last one was this. Since she gave such little advice, I listened to each very closely.

(The other three were:

Don't sign anything without reading and understanding it all.

Never marry a man with the intention of changing him, you won't.

"Just because you are pregnant, don't shut down the lunch counter."

--and when she said that to me, aged 24, I thought she meant "don't stop making dinner!!" I was probably 40 before it dawned on me my MOTHer had spoken about sex to me, her one and only time! :lol:)

[ssavings]

Well, I understand wanting him to learn to write - I do. But, honestly, to me it seems like he's just developmentally not ready for seatwork of that kind just yet... he's only 5, and he's a boy.

 

He needs to be obedient. It needs to be required in areas of home life as well as in public. We run a pretty tight ship here, personally. But, if he's simply not at a developmental stage where he is able to sit for seatwork, it's very difficult for him to be obedient.

 

I think, if I were you, I'd try to find a different way to accomplish the learning you want. My DD learned to write her letters with sandpaper letters (tracing the shape of the letters with her fingers to learn the shape and the correct strokes), a tray of sand (using her finger to practice writing the letter in the sand), and a ziplock bag full of hairgel (to practice writing the letter in again). Her fine motor skills were improved, like PP said, by cutting, and gluing, and bead-stringing, etc.

 

Encouraging calm seatwork might be better served, at his age, with a book of mazes, or a fun critical thinking book.

[Jilly]

Sounds as if he's finished with the school year. I say let it go and enjoy.

 

He's just 5. He doesn't need to Do School. Give him some time off; work on general behavior if you need to, but I'd let Official School Stuff go for awhile.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Farrar]

That doesn't mean he will just be playing all day. He needs to learn to obey your voice. He can learn that as you go through the day as well. He should be learning to make his bed, keep his room tidy, put away anything he gets out, help with the chores, etc. You can direct his activity and expect him to obey you. Work on that main character quality - obedience - until he's got it down pat. Then, later, when you will require him to sit and do academic work he will be prepared to do what you say and not resist you. I think Dad needs to be involved in this, too, if at all possible. Dad should make it very clear that your son is expected to do what he is told and to respect you. That should be settled before he is ever asked to sit at a desk and do academic work.

 

Let the child's first lesson be obedience, and the second will be what thou wilt. Ben Franklin

 

Kathleen said a lot of wise things. :)

 

But for me, I frame this piece a little differently... if we want our children to be respectful of what we tell them they need to do, then first we must tell them to do things that are within their power to do. For me, that's the implicit contract I've tried to create with my kids - You do what I ask, and I'll ask things you can do. Neither of us are perfect at it, but if I had made them do a lot of seatwork at 5 yo, I think it would have set us on a road where I had violated my end of that contract and they wouldn't be as good as listening to me as they are today.

[MamaBearTeacher]

Thanks for all these words of wisdom and keep them coming.

 

Yes, I think a lot of it has to do with disobedience. He wants to disobey and has said so and has also said that he wants us to listen to him instead of the other way around. He is not always like this but very often lately. I was a very obedient child. I don't know how to deal with this effectively.

 

There is also a desire to be silly which is somewhat related but somewhat separate from the disobedience. I have tried joining in on it but most often it is too much, too nonsensical, it goes on too long.

 

The thing is that he loved the writing and coloring for several months this year and we would do it for an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon and then he suddenly stopped wanting to. I don't think it has to do with his fine motor skills or his lack of ability to sit. Maybe he is no longer interested? When he was doing the writing he did not want to play with his toy castle anymore. Now he wants to play with it for several hours every day so maybe his interests are waxing and waning from one thing to another. I could follow his interests but that makes me think of unschooling which I like but scares me (someone posted this week about an unschooled teen who had not learned some basics and wanted to go back to school). I'm trying to figure this all out. I want to do what's best for him.

[Teachin'Mine]

Drawing the letters in a sandbox or on a table with shaving cream come to mind. Or, I'd call it summer and let him have fun and begin again in the fall.

 

Another way to make it fun is to get a small bamboo and let him draw the letters on there and see them on the screen. There are probably some fun programs out there too. I'd keep it all light as his silliness might just be his way of saying - I'm 5. :)

[MamaBearTeacher]

I think part of it is that some of these things are things he does enjoy. For example at Christmas time he was spending over an hour coloring every day and he hardly went out of the lines. Now he refuses to color for 1 minute.

 

I tell him: "Do you want to read this book?"

him: "No, I don't want to."

me: "What do you want to do?"

him: "I want to roast you in a pot."

(We have been reading a lot of fairy tales lately so I suspect this is coming from that.)

me: "I don't want to be roasted. I am reading this book to your brother."

him: No!

I read the first page.

him: "Can you read the book to me too?"

He sits for the whole book and a few others.

[Barbara H]

 

But for me, I frame this piece a little differently... if we want our children to be respectful of what we tell them they need to do, then first we must tell them to do things that are within their power to do. For me, that's the implicit contract I've tried to create with my kids - You do what I ask, and I'll ask things you can do. Neither of us are perfect at it, but if I had made them do a lot of seatwork at 5 yo, I think it would have set us on a road where I had violated my end of that contract and they wouldn't be as good as listening to me as they are today.

 

YES! Very well put.

 

My suggestion would be to look at other ways to explore the skills that you want to explore. Games, household activities, out of doors activities. Peggy Kaye books like Games for Writing may be helpful.

[dirty ethel rackham]

His behavior screams that he is not ready for seat-work. If learning is your objective, make it as active and silly as needed to keep him engaged.

 

Instead of writing on paper - what about a magnadoodle? Sidewalk chalk? Whiteboard and marker? Does he really need to learn how to color? For some kids coloring is just torture. Is there a point to it?

 

Is he getting enough large motor play? Little kids that age have the wiggles and they are silly. Do things to tire him out then (jumping jacks, hopping on one foot, going up and down stairs etc.) Then have him work on settling down - deep breathing, relaxing (becoming a rag doll), then bring back to sitting up straight and focusing. Keep lessons really short. Use a timer if you need to. I found that with my kids, I could show them with a timer that we would be working for 10 minutes. If they focused for those 10 minutes, we would stop when the timer went off. If they didn't, the timer would stop until they were ready.

 

I would definitely minimize the seat work and find ways to do the rest of lessons with the whole body (math with manipulatives, throwing number cards on the floor and jumping from one to the next or skip counting, etc.)

 

Like our famous Joanne says, you can't punish a child out of a developmental stage.

[Ellie]

Thanks for all these words of wisdom and keep them coming.

 

Yes, I think a lot of it has to do with disobedience. He wants to disobey and has said so and has also said that he wants us to listen to him instead of the other way around. He is not always like this but very often lately. I was a very obedient child. I don't know how to deal with this effectively.

I feel your pain. :-(

 

However, I wouldn't make official school work part of the process in teaching him obedience, not at this age.

 

There is also a desire to be silly which is somewhat related but somewhat separate from the disobedience. I have tried joining in on it but most often it is too much, too nonsensical, it goes on too long.

And that could still be a disobedience issue, sort of passive/agressive, don't you think?

 

The thing is that he loved the writing and coloring for several months this year and we would do it for an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon and then he suddenly stopped wanting to. I don't think it has to do with his fine motor skills or his lack of ability to sit. Maybe he is no longer interested? When he was doing the writing he did not want to play with his toy castle anymore. Now he wants to play with it for several hours every day so maybe his interests are waxing and waning from one thing to another. I could follow his interests but that makes me think of unschooling which I like but scares me (someone posted this week about an unschooled teen who had not learned some basics and wanted to go back to school). I'm trying to figure this all out. I want to do what's best for him.

There's nothing wrong with unschooling a 5yo. IMHO, 5yo dc *should* be unschooled, 'cuz they're just, you know, little. :) It doesn't mean that you can't be more structured when he's 6 or 7. And unschooling doesn't mean that you have to be on the watch so that you can "follow his interest." Just let him follow it. Unschooling doesn't mean that you hang around waiting for your dc to be interested in something so you can jump on it. It means letting your dc follow his interests, in his own way, on his own time. If there's something you can add to it that is gentle and non-invasive, then do that; otherwise, leave him alone. :-)

[AK_Mom4]

When DS(now16) was that age, writing was torture. We used:

 

chalk on the driveway

White boards

shaving cream writing on the table

Mud - make letters with mud on the wall of the garage - a HUGE hit!

bribes (each letter made right was worth 1 M&M)

 

He still hates to write by hand, but he is 16yo and certainly can do it when needed. Which is to say - this stage doesn't generally last forever.

[Ellie]

His behavior screams that he is not ready for seat-work. If learning is your objective, make it as active and silly as needed to keep him engaged.

 

Instead of writing on paper - what about a magnadoodle? Sidewalk chalk? Whiteboard and marker? Does he really need to learn how to color? For some kids coloring is just torture. Is there a point to it?

 

Is he getting enough large motor play? Little kids that age have the wiggles and they are silly. Do things to tire him out then (jumping jacks, hopping on one foot, going up and down stairs etc.) Then have him work on settling down - deep breathing, relaxing (becoming a rag doll), then bring back to sitting up straight and focusing. Keep lessons really short. Use a timer if you need to. I found that with my kids, I could show them with a timer that we would be working for 10 minutes. If they focused for those 10 minutes, we would stop when the timer went off. If they didn't, the timer would stop until they were ready.

 

I would definitely minimize the seat work and find ways to do the rest of lessons with the whole body (math with manipulatives, throwing number cards on the floor and jumping from one to the next or skip counting, etc.)

 

Like our famous Joanne says, you can't punish a child out of a developmental stage.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Farrar]

I think part of it is that some of these things are things he does enjoy. For example at Christmas time he was spending over an hour coloring every day and he hardly went out of the lines. Now he refuses to color for 1 minute.

 

That seems really normal to me. That's why you keep the seatwork coloring, tracing, making letters stuff on hand for those moments he's ready... and are ready to ditch them when he's not. This sort of thing still frustrates me with my kids... what do you mean you can't write a paragraph?!? You did it yesterday!

[AuntieM]

In a nutshell... he's FIVE! Ease up and get some joy back! Take a break, then reintroduce in smaller bites. Or when he suggests it.

 

Yes, a time will come when he doesn't have a choice about whether or not to do the work. But...not at five years old. For now, be sure you are gently fanning that flame, not stomping it out.

[AuntieM]

Have you ever met an adult who, in response to frustration or stress, just laughs? However inappropriate it seems, that's their response - kwim?

 

I think it's entirely possible that your ds's reaction - silly and/or disobedient - may be a stress reaction. Maybe he feels that he is unable to accomplish what you are asking of him. Maybe he fears disappointing you. Maybe he really does not want to do school. Any such feelings could cause a 5yo to be silly and disobedient when what they're really feeling is stress and frustration. Also, I taught my kids to label and identify feelings at that age - made things easier to dissect whenever behavior went south.

 

Take a break from the seat work. You will "get it all done," eventually, trust me! In the meantime, work on the obedience in non-stress situations, as others have so wisely suggested.

 

:grouphug:

You're in it for the long haul. Your results may not come overnight. But with patience and diligence, they will come.

[MamaBearTeacher]

Thanks all. These comments are full of good ideas and very affirming. I guess as a homeschool mom I worry if I am making the right decision and all this is part of that worry.

[violingirl]

I agree with PP- obedience comes first and that is the priority for preK and K years at our house. When it is time to work it is time to work. If I'm met with resistence over a few days in a row I do step back and make sure I'm not expecting too much, but otherwise we work when it is work time. I expect very little from a 5yo though ("real" school starts in first grade at our house) so even though we would do writing and other schooly things as part of work time, I don't really force the issue.

 

I also think at this time of the year with outside calling it is so hard for little guys to stay focused at the table. So I purposely try to be mostly finished by this point in the year so that we can school for just a little bit in the morning (or longer if it's a bad out weather-wise) and then be out and busy the rest of the time.

 

 

I tell him: "Do you want to read this book?"

him: "No, I don't want to."

me: "What do you want to do?"

him: "I want to roast you in a pot."

(We have been reading a lot of fairy tales lately so I suspect this is coming from that.)

me: "I don't want to be roasted. I am reading this book to your brother."

him: No!

I read the first page.

him: "Can you read the book to me too?"

He sits for the whole book and a few others.

 

 

Instead of asking him such an open ended question like "What do you want to do?" give him options you would be happy with no matter what he chose. Like: "Would you like to read this book with us or are you going to build with blocks?" And the obedience part comes in with him being able to choose between only those two things.

[Pookamama]

There has been so much wisdom shared in this thread. Thank you all!

I have seen a big difference between 5 and 6. My oldest has been six since September and there are so many things he can and will do and enjoys differently than he did a year ago.

So now my second son is five and although he has a totally different mindset than his brothers, and different skills, I am just trying to chill, keep it hands-on and open-ended, and build up the character obedience thing. We kept our first year of school (2011-2012) pretty simple academically-just reading, writing, and math with the six year old and little bits here and there with the four year old who turned five in February.

 

My older boy benefited strongly by me sticking to a routine. Not a detailed schedule, mind you, it is rather turbulent here. But in general, we followed this routine on school days:

Wake Up

Eat Breakfast

Get Dressed

School

Eat Lunch

Chores

Outside Time

Free Time/TV Time/Wii Time

Dinner

Reading Bible

Jammies

Bed

 

I wrote it down and would go over it with them whenever they wanted to watch a show when school or chores weren't done. Eventually they got that they would have time for things later, and they had to do school because it was on the list. You can't argue with a list! i purposely kept 'school' open ended because some days were not sit down and do everything days, some days were very lax, we didn't do every subject every day. There was lots of hands-on with Cuisinaire rods, counters, coloring (mix it up with markers or colored pencil for a change of pace), and sometimes we'd read or watch Salsa for Spanish, and sometimes we'd take a week off if needed. We did do school but a lot of it was character and responsibility building-doing chores, learning to get along with each other, etc. I am so glad we took it easy this year because I think the character building was a good foundation for this coming year when we will be doing a lot more school subjects on a much more regular process for the six year old, and a little bit more for the five year old. But overall I'm not sweating it-I know sometimes waiting till they are ready is the key to making the learning process more natural.

[myfunnybunch]

What kind of consequence and how would you impose it exactly? I think the silliness is the biggest obstacle and I have not found a way to dealt with it effectively.

 

At that age, we had "silly time." Now it is work time. After work time, let's have silly time! If we get through the work time quickly, we get extra silly time.

 

Silliness has been one of the most difficult behaviors to deal with in our house. (The girls? Silliness was not an issue. :confused: ) The best solution I've been able to come up with at that young age, in addition to the usual consequences for not listening/following directions, has been designated silly time.

 

For a 4-5 y.o., consequences for being silly were very mild. I'd withdraw all attention, praise immediately when silliness stopped, sometimes ask the silly boy to do five push-ups and five jumping jacks then refocus. I focused mostly on teaching when it's appropriate to be silly and when it isn't.

 

M&m's were a great way to get an unfocused boy to want to get through a 5-10 minute lesson quickly. It's not necessarily a silliness solution except that the goal often kept the silliness from starting, which helped establish a good work habit.

 

Cat