ktgrok Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Had my ultrasound yesterday, and it is a healthy baby boy! I'm SO excited. I REALLY wanted a boy this time, and felt guilty wanting one sex more than the other as I had no preference really with the first two kids. This time though I knew it was probably my last and wanted my husband to have a biological son of his own if possible...he is the last to carry his name. Anyway, it IS a boy!!! I'm thrilled to do the boy thing again. HOwever, behind that, is the realization that this is almost assuredly my last baby. If it had been a girl I probably could have convinced dh to try one more time for a boy..but it would have been a stretch. I always wanted a REALLY big family....but with a 10 year gap between babies one and two that just didn't happen. And now I'm 36, with a soon to be 13 year old son, having a baby. I know there is time for one more if I really really wanted, but they would probably have to be spaced closer than I like, and it gets riskier each year. Plus, honestly....I as of right now don't feel like there are more children for us...I feel like this is probably our family. I'm GLAD I feel that way. But also sad. And a bit jealous of those families with 5 or more kids. I always wanted 5 kids...but will only have 3. Which is an AMAZING blessing, I know. I guess none of this makes much sense. I just started thinking about this yesterday as DH mentioned he is thinking vasectomy after this one, and I panicked. I think he knew I would. The idea just upsets me. I told him I'd think about an IUD, which I don't love the idea of, rather than something that permanent. But again...I think we are ready to move on. We want to travel, it is important to dh particularly, and I think the family we will soon have is just right for that. I just get sad that there aren't more kids. does any of this make sense? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Had my ultrasound yesterday, and it is a healthy baby boy! I'm SO excited. I REALLY wanted a boy this time, and felt guilty wanting one sex more than the other as I had no preference really with the first two kids. This time though I knew it was probably my last and wanted my husband to have a biological son of his own if possible...he is the last to carry his name. Anyway, it IS a boy!!! I'm thrilled to do the boy thing again. HOwever, behind that, is the realization that this is almost assuredly my last baby. If it had been a girl I probably could have convinced dh to try one more time for a boy..but it would have been a stretch. I always wanted a REALLY big family....but with a 10 year gap between babies one and two that just didn't happen. And now I'm 36, with a soon to be 13 year old son, having a baby. I know there is time for one more if I really really wanted, but they would probably have to be spaced closer than I like, and it gets riskier each year. Plus, honestly....I as of right now don't feel like there are more children for us...I feel like this is probably our family. I'm GLAD I feel that way. But also sad. And a bit jealous of those families with 5 or more kids. I always wanted 5 kids...but will only have 3. Which is an AMAZING blessing, I know. I guess none of this makes much sense. I just started thinking about this yesterday as DH mentioned he is thinking vasectomy after this one, and I panicked. I think he knew I would. The idea just upsets me. I told him I'd think about an IUD, which I don't love the idea of, rather than something that permanent. But again...I think we are ready to move on. We want to travel, it is important to dh particularly, and I think the family we will soon have is just right for that. I just get sad that there aren't more kids. does any of this make sense? It all makes perfect sense to me. We have stopped at 4 which in my heart I feel is just right for us. However, I still have those baby longings sometimes and a little sadness that I didn't have the 6 I had always wanted. But when I think realistically of having another I know that that would be wrong for us. And, I am glad you got the boys you wanted. I hoped my last was a girl and she was. I was delighted. (I would have welcomed a boy, of course, but this made us "even.") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Congratulations! I understand your feelings about the last one, too. Dh and I started quite late with our family, so only two for us, but I still long for another sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bensmom Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 :grouphug: Yes, that makes perfect sense. I just have one child and always dreamed of more, but things don't always work according to our plans. I think that a bit of sorrow and longing for what is not to be is pretty normal. Enjoy your family and that precious new son you will soon be welcoming into the world. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I had two boys and thought maybe that was it, then along came our dd--we were thrilled. I honestly would've been fine with another boy, just like you would have been fine with another girl, but we were tickled that we got a girl, so I really do understand! I went thru baby mourning about 4 years after she was born. I am working thru some regrets in my life and trying to let them go, but first I have to feel them. Blech. I wish I'd been healthier (had severe depression) and wiser and could have handled more kids, but this is my life, and I need to find peace and satisfaction in it as it is. I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I will say you are blessed that you have two close in age--dd is sort of an "only" and I wish I'd had one more before her or after, but that just didn't happen, and it's probably best. Rambling... Congratulations, enjoy your blessings, and live YOUR life fully. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Congratulations! And yes, it makes sense. Enjoy your beautiful family and all the planning and dreaming for your new little boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Congratulations on your darling baby boy!!! I can relate to your feelings. I always thought I would have 4-6 kids. I am so very, very thankful for the two I have and am happy with our life together, but still find my heart yearning for the other children I didn't bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Congrats! I understand. I always thought I would have 4 kids. However, we just couldn't get pregnant. We have two wonderful kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 :grouphug: Perfect sense. Congratulations on your little boy! :) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 It makes sense to me because I feel similarly. My dh had to be convinced to have a 3rd so there will be no 4th but I really want more kids. It is not getting better now that my youngest passed the age where I conceived my 2nd and 3rd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Aww. I have 4 kids, 12-18. They are all wonderful. I wanted more. My dh said no way. Yesterday, I looked at him lovingly and said, "Thank you so much for saying no to me all those years ago." LOL Like I said my kids are the best, but having a house full of teens make you thankful to know that you stopped when you did. Love on that baby. I do miss babies occasionally, but not the lack of sleep. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Yep, I think it makes complete sense! I think that every woman, especially, has a little part of her that would just keep having babies. ;) I always wanted 3, we had 3, and I was totally done at 3. I'm happy to be done. I'm happy to be past the baby stage! :) But sometimes it's like, wow, we really won't have any more kids! Because part of me could see us with a houseful. :) Even though I know that isn't 'us'. So yeah, that probably makes zero sense - but you definitely know that I know where you are coming from! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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