Dealing with a tween and water usage

[Jean in Newcastle]

If she takes a shower in the morning then we run out of hot water and dh or I end up taking a cold shower. Besides making her hurry up (which I'm working on!) - what is the optimum way to stagger the timing of showers so no one ends up in the cold? If dh and I take showers in two different bathrooms at the same time, we both get hot showers. If dd takes one that morning too, then whoever she beat to the shower is frustrated.

[Ellie]

Have her shower in the evening?

 

Require her to shower after everyone else?

[bettyandbob]

You've brought up old memories of my older sister. She used all the hot water every time she showered. She'd agree to let me shower first and then race to the bathroom in the morning when she heard me get up. And my parents didn't think there was a problem.

 

Today, I have one who will shower forever, but I guess I have a larger water heater. She usually showers at night while dh and I shower in the morning.

 

I have a friend whose father would shut the hot water off at the water heater if he felt the shower was too long. You could do that. Put a timer in the bathroom that rang at 10 minutes to warn her and then turn off the hot water at 15 minutes.

[*********]

We have used a timer in the past. The kids have to set it for 10 minutes, and start it when the water gets turned on. When the timer goes off, the have to turn the water off.

 

It's the only thing that's worked for us. And the timer's loud enough to be heard outside the bathroom, so no cheating. :glare: :D

[Anne in CA]

A timer works for us also.

[butterflymommy]

On the show "Downsizing" the dad installed a 5 minute timer on the showerhead. Are you handy enough to do that?

[redsquirrel]

We have talked about the cost of high water usage, both monetary and environmental. We have discussed in science class how little usable water we all have to share. We have talked about how if we spend less on water and electricity and gas then we have more to spend on fun things.

 

Now, when the shower goes on I set the oven timer for 10 mins. For every minute under 10 my kids get a mini-marshmallow :lol: It is kind of a joke. They don't do it for the marshmallows. They are sort of competing with themselves and each other to take the shortest shower. They don't take water for granted.

 

eta: they are down to 3 and 4 min showers.

Edited April 8, 2012 by redsquirrel

[AngieW in Texas]

There are 5 of us, so we have to stagger our shower times. Any two of us can take showers at the same time and be okay. Whoever is 3rd is going to be cold. After the 2nd shower, there must be at least 30 minutes between showers for the rest of the people to get hot water. My 16yo usually takes hers in the evening. My dh and my 13yo are usually in the morning. My 19yo and I are usually in the late morning or early afternoon.

[JFSinIL]

Have her shower in the evening?

 

Require her to shower after everyone else?

 

One of these. She is the kid. You are the adults. You get the hot water. She has to work around YOUR schedule.

[Butter]

I'd either have her shower at a different time or limit the length. My husband can kind of get lost in the shower and not realize how long he's been in there. He made a playlist of songs that are each about 3 minutes long. He turns it on before he gets in and has to turn the water off after the 3rd song. My daughter uses the same playlist when she showers, also getting 3 songs to complete her shower.

[scrapbookbuzz]

One of these. She is the kid. You are the adults. You get the hot water. She has to work around YOUR schedule.

 

:iagree: Have her shower AFTER the parent or in the evening.

 

 

FWIW, is your dd related to my 7yo ds?? HE'S the one in our family who takes ridiculously long showers. Timing is of the essence there!

[eternalknot]

IIRC you spent time in Japan - right? Did you become familiar with that system of bathing/showering?

 

Can she scrub clean before she gets in, then take a (timed) hot shower to rinse and relax? Could everyone?

 

Signed,

Someone Who Couldn't

(Now that I know how you Westerners do it, I'm a huge fan of the long, hot shower)

(But I'm mean enough of a mother to make that an earned privilege rather than a right!)

(And it's earned upon payment of water bills or giving birth, whichever suits me at the time LOL)

(:D)

[jeri]

we limit showers to "sea showers" as we called them in the Coast Guard. You turn on the water to get wet, turn off water. Shampoo hair. Turn on water to rinse. Turn off water to soap up. Turn on water to rinse. Shouldn't take more than 5 min. We have 8 in our family and the kids are all between 9 and 15 and three are girls!

 

jeri

[QueenCat]

Our younger one likes HOT showers... He goes last when we all need to be up & ready in a short period of time.... He still gets enough warm water... I can't imagine using a timer because I would personally refuse to use it myself... When I'm done, I'm done; some days, I want/need to be in their longer than others.....

[Jane in NC]

We have talked about the cost of high water usage, both monetary and environmental. We have discussed in science class how little usable water we all have to share. We have talked about how if we spend less on water and electricity and gas then we have more to spend on fun things.

 

 

I handed my then middle school aged son a stack of water and electricity (we heat our water with electricity) from a two year and had him create histograms mapping our utility usage. He saw the costs of these bills. By increasing his awareness, he dramatically reduced his energy footprint.

 

A tween is old enough to understand these things so having a rational discussion is the first approach.

 

One of these. She is the kid. You are the adults. You get the hot water. She has to work around YOUR schedule.

 

And if she fails to understand or cooperate, I would go with the above plan.

[dangermom]

Check the temperature on your water heater. We had ours set to 120 because we didn't want the kids accidentally scalding themselves when they were little. Since we turned it up a couple of ticks, we haven't had problems with running out of hot water any more.

[PollyOR]

One bathroom

 

Two teenage girls

 

Since we homeschool, we stagger showers throughout the day. If a couple of family members both need a shower, 16yo chooses to go last as she knows she takes long showers and will use up the hot water.

 

Added:

My girls are also very good about asking if they can take a shower. I know it sounds weird to ask permission, but they want to make sure that I don't need hot water for the washing machine or dishwasher.

Edited April 8, 2012 by PollyOR

[Carol in Cal.]

Plan a schedule so she can use up the hot water and it has time to recover before anyone else needs it. You don't want to discourage personal hygiene, and a nice long shower is kind of a simple pleasure. I know a lot of people who would love to be able to get their tweens to be able to take any regular showers at all, LOL!

[Stellalarella]

All the water in the world

 

is all the water in the world.

[TXBeth]

All the water in the world

 

is all the water in the world.

 

:confused:

 

True, but taking a long, hot shower does nothing to decrease this amount.

[catz]

We use a 5 minute timer. My 11 year old would spend all day in there if he could. I rarely get longer than 5 minutes myself.

[nd293]

This comes back to the "hurry up" issue, but we used a 4 minute shower timer for a while. We also replaced the shower head with one which has a lever to cut off water supply to a dribble while leaving the taps on. This allows the water to be easily switched off during extended hair washing and body soaping rituals. Both are very cheap solutions. Dd11 also often showers in the evening. We've never had hot water issues (4 people, one bathroom), and I expect this is the reason, along with staggering showers - dh showers early before work, and I often delay mine until later in the morning, after I have had breakfast and tidied up a bit. We once had a visitor for a week, and I forgot to mention the 4 minute shower rule at her first (30 minute!) shower, and then felt too uncomfortable too mention it - dh muttered about cold showers for the week...

 

ETA: Oh, and do you have a "waterwise" showerhead? An efficient one with a good water use rating (not sure if this is only an Aussie thing)? In our state the water corporation actually switches out old inefficient showerheads for free, as they make a substantial different in water use. The efficient showerheads often come with the little on/off switch I mentioned above. You still get a good shower from these showerheads, but you won't be using so much water for each shower

Edited April 9, 2012 by nd293

[Haiku]

Put a timer in the bathroom that rang at 10 minutes to warn her and then turn off the hot water at 15 minutes.

 

Wow! That is a LOOOOOONG shower. We do five minutes or less here. What is one doing in the shower for 15 minutes??

 

Tara

[eternalknot]

What is one doing in the shower for 15 minutes??

 

Tara

 

Relaxing and hiding from the children? :blush:

 

Signed,

I shower til the hot water runs out!

[Sk8ermaiden]

Wow! That is a LOOOOOONG shower. We do five minutes or less here. What is one doing in the shower for 15 minutes??

 

Tara

 

I have long, extremely thick hair? Lathering up and working the shampoo through thoroughly takes a minute or two, and then rinsing it out takes quite a long time. If I don't do a really good job of it I get horrible buildup and that's gross. I also have to shave my legs - takes several minutes...add in everything else....then if I want to exfoliate or something.

 

If don't have to shave or wash hair I can be out in 3 minutes. But add those two things in (I do them every day) and the absolute minimum I can rush though a shower is 10 minutes. And I feel frazzled after. 15 minutes is the norm for DH and myself around here. If we had a hot water problem we'd stagger showers. I prefer middle-of-the-night showers anyway - right before I crawl into bed.

[justamouse]

If I were you, I'd tell her she had to shower last. If that was the way she was going to be, totally inconsiderate of anyone else, then she goes last, and gets what she gets.

 

We have a lot of people in this house, and we all manage to not run out of hot water. And I normally have two in the showers at a time.

[ssavings]

When we were teenagers, my parents turned up the temperature on the hot water heater a bit. It helped a LOT. They also installed a low-flow shower head and we turned off water while shampooing or whatever.

[justamouse]

When we were teenagers, my parents turned up the temperature on the hot water heater a bit. It helped a LOT. They also installed a low-flow shower head and we turned off water while shampooing or whatever.

 

You know, that is true, we do this, too (not turning it off to shampoo, though.)

[AuntieM]

(Haven't read all the replies yet...)

 

Well, in my house, I am just thankful to hear that shower running at all, for two of my kids! They are just now needing that daily wash (prior to this fall every other day truly was enough), and they don't always want to carve out the time to take it, morning or evening.

 

Much as I prefer a morning shower, I am currently adjusting to being the one who showers in the evening. At least I know that way I won't end up cold and soapy! As for the morning hot water, I'll let them duke it out. :D

 

(Seriously, dh is always the first up so there's no danger he will be left with no hot water, or else we'd be setting up a rationing strategy.)

[Peaceful Isle]

Yeah, that's a tough one. My dd is almost 10 and she really likes to take nice, long, hot, showers too. I want her to enjoy herself, yet I need her to be conscious of others as well. Most of the time, I have her take them at night. Saves us all a headache in the morning. At other times, if we are in a hurry ( church etc..) I just give her a quick reminder to take a short one, cuz daddy needs some hot water too. The I go in at about 5 minutes and tell her to wrap it up. She's a kid. I don't expect perfection, but that usually helps her to hurry it up. :)

I have found that it usually takes about 15 minutes to get hot water again, so if the first person takes a 10 minute shower, it will take another 15 to warm up. So, I would plan on about 1/2 hour each person. At least that is the way it is at my house. That's probably not much help, but anywho :)

Edited April 9, 2012 by mommyof4AZ

[Dustybug]

Wow! That is a LOOOOOONG shower. We do five minutes or less here. What is one doing in the shower for 15 minutes??

 

Tara

 

And here I am wondering how on earth anyone takes a shower in 5 minutes or LESS?! lol

 

I take about a 15 minute shower and I don't dilly dally.

[Haiku]

And here I am wondering how on earth anyone takes a shower in 5 minutes or LESS?! lol

 

Get in, soap up, rinse off ... takes about 90 seconds. Wash hair (now granted, my hair is short, but dd10's reaches mid-back) + rinse ... 90 seconds. Condition + rinse ... 60 seconds. Wash face, enjoy the hot water ... 60 seconds. Done. ;)

 

If I want to luxuriate, I take a bath. :D

 

Tara

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just getting back to this thread now. I guess I forgot to say that this is not a daily thing at all. In fact, it is only an issue on Sunday morning when she washes her long (down to her butt) hair. Thanks for all the suggestions. I appreciate them all.

[Aggie]

we limit showers to "sea showers" as we called them in the Coast Guard. You turn on the water to get wet, turn off water. Shampoo hair. Turn on water to rinse. Turn off water to soap up. Turn on water to rinse. Shouldn't take more than 5 min. We have 8 in our family and the kids are all between 9 and 15 and three are girls!

 

jeri

 

Jeri! Good to see you here!! How are y'all?!

 

Jean...if you have a gas water heater, look into getting a tankless one. Saves money and everyone gets a hot shower!:001_smile:

[A.Balaban]

I have long, extremely thick hair? Lathering up and working the shampoo through thoroughly takes a minute or two, and then rinsing it out takes quite a long time. If I don't do a really good job of it I get horrible buildup and that's gross. I also have to shave my legs - takes several minutes...add in everything else....then if I want to exfoliate or something.

 

If don't have to shave or wash hair I can be out in 3 minutes. But add those two things in (I do them every day) and the absolute minimum I can rush though a shower is 10 minutes. And I feel frazzled after. 15 minutes is the norm for DH and myself around here. If we had a hot water problem we'd stagger showers. I prefer middle-of-the-night showers anyway - right before I crawl into bed.

 

This is so me. I love long, hot showers. They are my escape from the kids. I don't have a big soaking bath, so the hassle of a bath doesn't make it worth it. I wash my face twice. My hair gets a scalp treatment, and I let the conditioner sit in my hair for about 3-5 minutes before I rinse. It takes me about 3 min to rinse everything out.

 

If I have to shave, give it up. I am going to be in there all day. Depends on how much "build up" otherwise I have to split it over two days because I run out of hot water. We only get about 20-25 min of hot water, but at 15 min mark water starts getting cooler.

[Carol in Cal.]

Just getting back to this thread now. I guess I forgot to say that this is not a daily thing at all. In fact, it is only an issue on Sunday morning when she washes her long (down to her butt) hair. Thanks for all the suggestions. I appreciate them all.

 

Have you ever had hair that long? I have, and it is significantly harder to wash than people with shoulder length or shorter hair might think. It takes forever, and it tangles something awful. It's hard to get out all the shampoo. I would say that she could do it Saturday night though.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Have you ever had hair that long? I have, and it is significantly harder to wash than people with shoulder length or shorter hair might think. It takes forever, and it tangles something awful. It's hard to get out all the shampoo. I would say that she could do it Saturday night though.

 

Yes, I think that Saturday night would be the time to do it. She used to do that but it often wouldn't dry and then she'd be going to bed with wet hair. Maybe I need to make sure I help her blow dry it.

[fairfarmhand]

Have her shower in the evening?

 

Require her to shower after everyone else?

 

We have used a timer in the past. The kids have to set it for 10 minutes, and start it when the water gets turned on. When the timer goes off, the have to turn the water off.

 

It's the only thing that's worked for us. And the timer's loud enough to be heard outside the bathroom, so no cheating. :glare: :D

:iagree:

 

this was us!

 

And if Dad gets a cold shower, there will be payback. Perhaps the hot water heater gets cut off the next morning while she is in there or some other consequence.

[scooby-do]

Set a timer and when you feel her time is up shut the water off or the hot water off . Things will fix quickly.

[Carol in Cal.]

Yes, I think that Saturday night would be the time to do it. She used to do that but it often wouldn't dry and then she'd be going to bed with wet hair. Maybe I need to make sure I help her blow dry it.

 

I don't think that it is necessarily bad to go to bed with damp hair.

[AdventureMoms]

Yes, I think that Saturday night would be the time to do it. She used to do that but it often wouldn't dry and then she'd be going to bed with wet hair. Maybe I need to make sure I help her blow dry it.

 

I had long butt-length thick wavy hair for most of my life. I have always showered at night and I never used a blowdryer. Just go to bed with it damp (or wet, depending). It'll probably dry by morning. If it is a tangling issue, braid it loosely, it will help with the tangling (though it will slow the drying somewhat).

[SonshineLearner]

I'm going to look at the instant water heaters. I wish it wasn't a problem, as seriously, it takes her longer to shower... (long hair, shaving, etc.)

[Cathy in TX]

When my teen repeatedly used all the hot water, and when using a timer failed, we enforced a new rule: we had her stop up the tub before starting the shower. Then, after her shower was over, she had to remove all the water from the tub using a five gallon bucket. The water was carried outside and poured on the flower beds. After a week of carrying several bucketfuls of water outside each day, her showers became remarkably shorter.

[kewb]

We use a timer. So far it works. If it fails I think I will utilize the empty the tub with a bucket method.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

When my teen repeatedly used all the hot water, and when using a timer failed, we enforced a new rule: we had her stop up the tub before starting the shower. Then, after her shower was over, she had to remove all the water from the tub using a five gallon bucket. The water was carried outside and poured on the flower beds. After a week of carrying several bucketfuls of water outside each day, her showers became remarkably shorter.

 

This is awesome!

[eternalknot]

This is awesome!

 

:tongue_smilie: Sounds like something my parents would have done.

 

The most awesome part of parenting is coming up with creative "solutions" - it's way better on the parent side than it was on the kid side!

 

My hair was always long, thick, and heavy. I used to get dull headaches from going to bed with wet hair, plus random strands would stick to my face and neck - ugh, I hated it! Still do.

 

I wash my hair once a week, and rinse it once or twice beyond that - depending on the time of year. I'm a huge fan of the mid-day shower anyhow, but particularly on days that I need to wash my hair. It takes a long time to dry so by bedtime it's usually only slightly, barely-noticeably damp (if not completely dry). Is that an option? I usually sneak it in during the kids' lunch or afternoon downtime.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

I wash my hair once a week, and rinse it once or twice beyond that - depending on the time of year. I'm a huge fan of the mid-day shower anyhow, but particularly on days that I need to wash my hair. It takes a long time to dry so by bedtime it's usually only slightly, barely-noticeably damp (if not completely dry). Is that an option? I usually sneak it in during the kids' lunch or afternoon downtime.

 

Yes, that's an option. We'll just have to get in a new habit.

[EKS]

If she uses all of the hot water and has no regard for the other members of the household, then she goes last.

[eternalknot]

Yes, that's an option. We'll just have to get in a new habit.

 

Good luck with that :lol: I keep hearing it takes 28 days to form a new habit.

 

I'm on my fourth round in 18 months of trying to set about a new habit. I'm about ready to decide that some of us are just creatures of habit and should be left to our routines. Let the world adjust around us :D LOL. (Read: sorry mom and dad, let the girl child be!)