Alice Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Which would be me... Background: Ds is 4 1/2 (and yes, he's my oldest. :001_smile:) I started teaching him to read this spring using OPGTR and ETC and Bob Books. While we are actually doing the work he mostly enjoys it, has fun, etc. But when I tell him it's time to do reading or school he complains and says he doesn't want to. I know he's only 4 and some of the complaining is normal. I don't want to push him because I do know he is only 4...but I also think he is ready to read. He is NOT having any trouble with reading. We're through the section on blends in OPGTR and he is doing beautifully. He has no trouble sounding out words and only needs work with fluency. So I don't think that it's too hard for him. But he complains and really doesn't show any interest in reading on his own, although he could do simple Bob Books, etc. Part of me worries that I'm going to kill his desire to learn...that is the paranoid part. Or maybe I'm not just paranoid? The other side of the coin is that he definitely has an Eeyore personality. He always complains about anything that is new or different. Even things that I know he likes he will say he doesn't want to do...but then we go do it and he has a great time. He's a wonderful boy but I've grown to realize this is just his personality. He's just a glass is half-empty kind of guy. So my thought with reading and "school" has been that he is probably always going to complain a little bit about it. I try to be sensitive to when something really isn't working for him but otherwise I just make him do it (and I should add that we're talking at the most 30 min a day of phonics, usually less.) And I add in a lot of games, reading books together, etc. Any thoughts? Should I just keep going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Lynx Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I'll give you my advice based on my own experience. I was in your position when my oldest was 4.5. I chose to keep going. We went through some very rocky times. He ended up hating phonics, and did not really read until 7 or 7.5. I waited until later with the others. If you have a 4.5 year old who loves to read, and enjoys working with phonics, that's great, go for it! But if not, 4.5 is really young, and you have plenty of time. I'd back off on the parts he dislikes. I'd keep the games and fun things, and call that "school." I'd pick fun books to read to him, and call that "school." I'd do that to just get him used to doing "school." At 5, I'd probably try again with the phonics, just ease into it. I mean, 10 or 15 minutes. And I'd let him know, kindly, that school is just something we do every day. My little ones sit on my lap. We snuggle. If there's something in the day they look forward to, well, that doesn't happen unless "school" is done first. My advice is, don't make it a struggle. Not at 4. Keep it short, and fun, and you will be able to ease into the rest, when the time comes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanie Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I'll give you my advice based on my own experience. I was in your position when my oldest was 4.5. I chose to keep going. We went through some very rocky times. He ended up hating phonics, and did not really read until 7 or 7.5. I waited until later with the others. If you have a 4.5 year old who loves to read, and enjoys working with phonics, that's great, go for it! But if not, 4.5 is really young, and you have plenty of time. I'd back off on the parts he dislikes. I'd keep the games and fun things, and call that "school." I'd pick fun books to read to him, and call that "school." I'd do that to just get him used to doing "school." At 5, I'd probably try again with the phonics, just ease into it. I mean, 10 or 15 minutes. And I'd let him know, kindly, that school is just something we do every day. My little ones sit on my lap. We snuggle. If there's something in the day they look forward to, well, that doesn't happen unless "school" is done first. My advice is, don't make it a struggle. Not at 4. Keep it short, and fun, and you will be able to ease into the rest, when the time comes! :iagree: I would ease up a little if he's not interested. My youngest (dd 6) was excited to learn to read, and then she just didn't want to. So I got her the Leap Frog videos,and she loved them. She thought she was so special that she got to watch a movie while everyone else worked. After a couple of weeks she was catching on even quicker. She's still not where her older sibs were, but I'm ok with that. She works better and learns better if I keep it easy going and fun. I find she will pick up books to read on her own if I ease up a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 ... along with a few other resources (word family cards and magnetic letters, for example). My daughter is 3.5 and absolutely begs to "do school." I don't even know where she came up with that phrase, since I never used it, but that's what I get every morning when the twins go down for morning nap -- "Okay, Mommy, the babies are down now, could we please just work on a little phonics?" Sigh. My approach with this one has been to resist her eagerness. Yes, you read that correctly. Sigh. When she was two years old, she came up to me and said, "I want to read this book, but I don't know the words, so could you please teach me to read TODAY?" I had two sick babies back then, so I told her, "Not today, Sweetie, maybe when you are three." We worked on letter sounds that summer, though, and when she turned three she would not be denied any longer. I get the same sense you have with your son -- here's a child who has the ability and desire, but maybe needs a bit more time. We "work on phonics" a few times a week, read aloud A LOT, play, cook, go to Grammy's house, do other things.... how can I put this? She is 3 years old! There is time, even if she thinks she wants to read (older cousins = influence). :001_smile: I would drag my feet on it, honestly. What I mean is, read to him, read to him, read to him. Tell him stories. Listen to books on tape. Go places. Make story characters out of felt (or puppets) and re-enact your favorite stories again and again. We are using The Flannel Board Storytelling Book, by Judy Sierra, these past several months and are greatly enjoying it! My daughter can tell (with pizzazz! :001_smile:) The Three Billy Goats Gruff, The Three Little Pigs, The Caterpillar, The Turnip, The Little Red Hen, and The Fearsome Beast (A Masai Tale) -- all with felt characters on a felt board (very inexpensive to make, and fun to do). She is becoming a storyteller, and her vocabulary is growing every day. We still "work on phonics," but it's a very small (and optional) part of the day. Some days, yes, some days, no. I know people talk about phonics and consistency, but for my daughter, there just needs to be lots of review, lots of patience, lots of low-stress language activities, and time to simmer. Your son is young, so he might need phonics to be less of a must-do. HTH. Keep smiling! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I agree, I would back off now. You can get plenty of games, dvds, etc, that will help him learn to read without him realizing it (I love dvds with subtitles, it really does help), and he'll be reading in no time. If you force him and he sees it as a neg thing, he could rebel against everything, from reading to school, etc. Give him time, do fun things, show him how much fun learning can be, you have plenty of time to make him miserable with necessary subjects later on : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 I went through the same thing with my ODS. He asked to read at 3, so we learned all of his letter sounds and even some 2 letter phonemes. This was fun. However, when we started a formal phonics program (100 EZ Lessons), he started complaining. So, I dropped it. I don't want him to be in the habit jof complaining when it's time to "do school." Right now, he begs me to "do school" and I like it that way. Instead of phonics, we just talk about the words in our read alouds, do Bob books (minimal), and watch the Leapfrog videos (He LOVES them). I'll probably keep trying 100 EZ Lessons every few months over the next year, but I'm not too worried if it doesn't work. We are going to start WRTR next June (he'll be over 5 by then) and then he'll have to do it. HTH, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 Thanks for the advice. I have to admit it's not exactly what I was hoping to hear but sometimes that's a good thing.;) It's definitely made me re-think my approach with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolinagirl710 Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 One had a desire to read so we began phonics at 5 and she read beautifully....not so much with my ds at 5 :-). But now several years later, he loves to read and we often find him curled up with a book. Be patient - just keep providing great books (my children loved picture books) and read, read, read to them. It will work out. HTH, Elaine in PA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babs Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 don't sweat it - make it fun. Though he is intellectually capable, he may need to catch up emotionally (the desire to do it and readiness to learn). Also, if he has negativity that you want to address then find another situation outside of school to train him to be positive. You can choose the battlefield as well as the battle! I have 3 boys and my second was later to learn than my first but is as strong a reader as my first. They all catch up - reading aloud good lit is KEY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
titianmom Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 You can always read to him every night and discuss a little of the story together, for example. Reading *to* the child is very important and we forget that sometimes. They learn a great great deal just listening to us reading! Put a lot of drama into, etc and that'll motivate them to want to do the same some day! Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 We were using ETC and Phonics Pathways at that point. She was making progress, but she was not really enjoying herself very much. I backed off the PP and we tried Headsprout since she really enjoys using the computer. At around that time she also got very interested in writing (her fine motor skills made a big leap), so she actually started looking forward to ETC. Now we can't keep her from reading! She reads anything and everything in sight, and consistently wants to do "extra" pages in ETC (we just started Book 4). She will turn five next month. So I think that it's possible to back off a part of what you are doing and just modify your approach. Now this dd is also a child who complains about anything and everything before we begin, and then always ends up doing well and asking for more, so I have no sage advice on dealing with that sort of a personality:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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