HappyLady Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Let me give you a little backstory first. I met another mom through a local mom forum, but we didn't end up getting closer until we adopted our dogs (siblings) at the same time. After I adopted my dog she offered to watch him whenever I needed her to, for a fee. Ok, no problem. In the meantime, she kept asking me for my extra dog crate (I had 2 and used just 1 of them for my dog). I didn't want to part with it, but she kept asking for it and after her dog chewed up her leather furniture I figured I'd sell it to her. I didn't want money and instead asked for 2 free weekends of dog-sitting and she agreed to that. This was in the spring of last year. When summer came I had 2 weekend trips planned and she agree to watch my dog to "pay" for the crate. After she watched him the first weekend she said, "How about we just watch each other's dogs for free whenever the other one needs us to?" I was fine with that, but then after she said that she asked me to watch her dog for a weekend. She did end up watching my dog the second weekend as payment for the crate, but the way I looked at it was she really only watched him for free for one weekend because I didn't get paid to watch her dog. I let it go because I didn't want to make a big thing out of it, especially since she's also in the homeschooling group I'm in and I'll have to see her for years to come. Fast forward to this year. I asked her to watch my dog when I go on a 10 day vacation and she said she was too busy (she homeschools plus watches other kids). I understood that even though it's going to cost me over $600 to board my dog. I honestly don't hold it against her. I did ask her if she'd watch my dog for the 2 weekend trips we have planned for the summer and she said she would. Yesterday I got an email from her telling me that come September she wasn't going to be watching kids anymore and instead will be watching dogs (she used to watch both kids and dogs, but had to give up the dog watching because it was just too much) so whenever she needed me to watch my dog she would. I asked her if she was going to charge me and she basically said, "Well I have to make money somehow." Um, ok. Then I asked her if she was still watching my dog for free over the summer. She said, "Not unless you give me another dog crate." So, originally she was watching him for free because we agreed to watch each other's dogs for free, but now she's charging me. And btw, I haven't watched her dog since, but I've been asking to take her, even for no reason, just so things were fair because she hadn't mentioned needing me to watch her dog over the summer at all. At this point I'm really mad about all of this and don't even want her watching my dog. How can you let someone think you're giving them something for free and then turn around and tell them you're charging them? Is that how you see it or what? I just can't believe a "friend" would do this. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Is she desperate for money? Sometimes desperate people do despicable things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 She's not a friend. She got what she wanted from you and that is that. Sorry she took advantage of you. I would make other arrangements for the future. We help friends by taking care of their dog when they go away. The dog has to stay at their house because I am allergic. But we go several times a day to let the dog out and play, etc. Is there a responsible teen in your neighborhood who you could hire? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 There is no winning this. Let it go and move on. The crate is gone and so is the money. Cut your losses and learn from it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 Is she desperate for money? Sometimes desperate people do despicable things. I wouldn't say she's *desperate* but they aren't comfortable financially by any means. They do, though, find ways to take ski vacations, travel the country, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I would probably just end contact with her. She sounds kind of manipulative to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Ask for one free weekend of dog watching to complete payment for the crate or for the crate back and then be done with her. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I would probably just end contact with her. She sounds kind of manipulative to me. I agree with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) Technically she did watch your dog two weekend for free for the crate. However, she changed the rules in time so that you by the time you watched her dog you had agreed to do it for free. And you feel that the weekend that you watched her dog for free cancelled out one of the weekends she watched your dog. According to the original agreement, you should have been paid for the time you watched the dog, but the original agreement was changed and agreed upon by both of you, that you would watch her dog for free. I'm thinking that if you wanted to be paid, you needed to have spoken up at that point. It was sneaky on her part to have kept changing the rules back and forth. Whether or not you say anything now, depends upon your personality and hers and how you spin it. If you lay it out clearly, and are an upfront, assertive person, you can do this. If you don't lay it out clearly, or are going to wimp out in the middle of the conversation (no judging--I would wimp out), then it will go badly. If you bring it up, clearly state: You would give me 2 free watches for the crate, yes, but I also had to give you a free watch, so I think the free watch I gave you cancels out one of the watches you gave me. I dunno. When I type it out like that, I can see her saying, "But I DID watch your dog for free twice like we agreed! I can't help it that you started watching my dog for free that one time, too!" Perhaps she really feels you are even, and it was just nice that you watched the dog that one time for free before she started up her business. Oh I dunno! I'm rambling. I hope someone else knows what to do! Edited March 29, 2012 by Garga Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Technically she did watch your dog two weekend for free for the crate. However, she changed the rules in time so that you by the time you watched her dog you had agreed to do it for free. And you feel that the weekend that you watched her dog for free cancelled out one of the weekends she watched your dog. According to the original agreement, you should have been paid for the time you watched the dog, but the original agreement was changed and agreed upon by both of you, that you would watch her dog for free. I'm thinking that if you wanted to be paid, you needed to have spoken up at that point. It was sneaky on her part to have kept changing the rules back and forth. Whether or not you say anything now, depends upon your personality and hers and how you spin it. If you lay it out clearly, and are an upfront, assertive person, you can do this. If you don't lay it out clearly, or are going to wimp out in the middle of the conversation (no judging--I would wimp out), then it will go badly. If you bring it up, clearly state: You would give me 2 free watches for the crate, yes, but I also had to give you a free watch, so I think the free watch I gave you cancels out one of the watches you gave me. I dunno. When I type it out like that, I can see her saying, "But I DID watch your dog for free twice like we agreed! I can't help it that you started watching my dog for free that one time, too!" Perhaps she really feels you are even, and it was just nice that you watched the dog that one time for free before she started up her business. Oh I dunno! I'm rambling. I hope someone else knows what to do! I agree with this. She agreed to watch your dog twice for free. She did that. The bargain was kept in her mind. Sure, you watched her dog for free once, but that was sort of separate from the original agreement. If it bothers you that badly, just taper off the friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I think it's going to stress any friendship to ask someone to keep a dog for ten days. It's too long, unless the friend has a great dog set up with kennels. I know it's expensive to board a dog, but that's part of pet ownership (I have to do it next week, and I HATE what it costs). By my calculations, you really got shorted one free weekend of pet sitting. And I understand why you are annoyed. But I would let it go. I think your friend probably got stressed by the number and length of times you were asking for free sitting in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Unfortunately with bartering someone usually gets the short end of the stick, especially when one person (the other lady) really needs the money (not that she should complain if she can take expesnsive vacations, but whatever). I would just start paying to have the dog boarded at a reputable place. It apparently costs a lot more where you live, and that is a bummer. 10 days would cost me $150 at several local places. Keep looking for a place that is a bit cheaper or hire someone to come to your home while you are away. I would no longer mix business with pleasure with her if I wanted to remain friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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