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s/o relaxed schooling... Those that can't! :)


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Well, I am a relaxed sort and would be closer to an unschooler in some ways except for the fact that my son NEEDS structure and order and plans. So, I do what works for him because after all, that is the point of us homeschooling him in the first place- to make an education that works for him.

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I need to have a plan of action. My kids do much better with structure, too. That said, I'm not inflexible. Last Tuesday was so gorgeous, I said, "The heck with school, let's go to the zoo!" So, we did. I make lesson plans and schedules and they serve as a guide for me. I don't rigidly follow them to the letter if I see it's not working for us. So, I'm structured, which I like, but I'm not uptight about it.

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I am just not relaxed in general.

 

Violin string are we? ;)

 

I need to have a plan of action. My kids do much better with structure, too. That said, I'm not inflexible. Last Tuesday was so gorgeous, I said, "The heck with school, let's go to the zoo!" So, we did. I make lesson plans and schedules and they serve as a guide for me. I don't rigidly follow them to the letter if I see it's not working for us. So, I'm structured, which I like, but I'm not uptight about it.

 

Exactly. I am not the gestapo but I need a list to check off!

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I have gotten more and more rigid with each passing year. Yes, I know all 4 of them :tongue_smilie::D. I was relaxed the K year.

 

I enjoy the planning and researching. I like to be intentional and lean heavily toward box-checking. It's just my nature. I function better this way. I probably over plan, but my plans are my homeschool security blanket.

 

1120-linus.jpg

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If there is not a structure to our day, most things don't get done. I am a selfish introvert. If I don't schedule time for school, I do what I want to do. I am not lazy, and what I'm doing is worthwhile, however I love my alone time, so I don't make a point of involving the kids.

 

I really need to work on this...

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We go through periods where we are fairly relaxed. I will force the kids to pick something in math & LA each day off the numerous resources I have on our shelves or at the library, but take a break from our regular schedule.

 

The last time I did an extended period of relaxed schooling was during my 3rd trimester and post-partum recovery when #3 was born. I was surprised to discover that oldest DD actually had made progress in math during this time (my goal had simply been to maintain her skills).

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If I don't have structure, one of two things happens. Either nothing gets done or I *way* overdo it and make everyone, including myself, miserable. For example, a few years ago, I started seeing a psychologist because I simply was obsessive with housecleaning. I thought every single chore should be done daily. I'd get overwhelmed and upset easily because I couldn't be perfect. I downloaded a household management checklist. It said what chores to do which days (daily, weekly, monthly, yearly included).

 

I see homeschooling similarly. I don't need to be rigid. If science doesn't get done today, we'll do it tomorrow. No biggie. But I need to see what our daily/weekly goal is also.

 

My new kids need a lot of structure in order to function decently. So we have a full schedule with afterschooling and a very full schedule for homeschooling next year (preK, Kindy, and 1st). We can drop everything and go fishing occasionally or skip a certain reader tomorrow or whatever; but I definitely want to have a full structure as it seems like what both they and I need.

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I'm so "Type A" that I have to read books about the value of being relaxed. :lol: Once I've read and researched, I schedule it in to my planner. Then I check it off.

 

Heh.

 

Seriously, though, I have actually expended great effort in the last 3 years to be more relaxed, because I know it is good for my children; it's just not natural to me in any way, shape, or form. I'm ok with the balance we've currently struck, though I have a feeling it's not something I'm ever going to be able to give up. I do philosophically agree with "tightening down" the academics as the children get older, so I'm dreaming that our balance will be easier as we all grow together.

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Ironically, I am a pretty laid back person. My general parenting choices probably tend to fall on the "permissive" side in many things. I tend to take time constraints less "seriously" than most people and the notions of punctuality or deadlines, for example, are more fluid in my mind.

 

But when it comes to school, I do draw a firm line and I mean "business". That does not mean that it is my way or the highway all the time, but there is a certain framework that I require, certain boxes that I want checked - what we can discuss are specifics (incl. small "cosmetic" changes) and the modalities of execution of the plan.

 

My children get plenty of that "interest-driven", relaxed, "self-paced" thing with their own interests. Because - gasp! - they still have them and my having a certain master plan and insisting we actually adhere to it (with revisions and modifications as needed) has not drained the life out of them nor killed their "love of learning". On the contrary, it has given them tools to enjoy areas of their particular interest even more - in terms of a broad perspective, a solid skill foundation, and so forth.

 

I am not even sure they would not be good candidates for unschooling or a more relaxed thing. Judging by how they tend to spend their free time, they are quite into the whole learning thing. I just choose not to, because I think a structured basis is a needed cohesive element, a glueing principle, for any "random" interest-led education to make more sense and perspective, and then there is the issue of things I find culturally necessary to cover.

 

I allow self-scheduling, I do not micromanage, I am willing to negotiate how to tie things with their interests. But at the end of the day (more like week / month, we do better with more broad goals that leave more leeway in when and how they are accomplished), the box is checked off. Kids happy, mom happy. If occasionally life gets into our way, or we really get carried away by something, oh well. That is why I always schedule MORE time than we actually need, with extra weeks, because in my "planner" mindset I have even thought of that and calculated, with some trial and error, how much leeway we need for the structure to function and for us to be happy rather than miserable. :lol:

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I am just not relaxed in general.

 

:grouphug: A kindred spirit!!

 

 

I like the idea of unschooling, but there's no way I'd be able to back off enough. As it is, I argue and elaborate with the texts we do use. Allowing my son more space to do work on his own and fail as he gets older is going to be so tough.

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