DawnM Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 and we have had our SN child do NOTHING today. NOTHING. The entire morning has been arguing, fighting, fit throwing, book throwing, yelling, and tantruming. I am SO frustrated. He has schoolwork to do, cleaning/chores to do, and scout stuff to do. He has shut down. I sent him to his bed. He has been punished.....no electronics/games for today and now tomorrow has been added. Thankfully we are starting testing next week. I am emotionally drained. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghanL Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 :grouphug: I'm so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyomarie Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 It sounds like test day can't get here soon enough! Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) 5:41 and he is getting his work done now but with a lot of attitude. I cannot take this much longer. He has already been taken off of electronics for the day and may be off for the rest of the weekend. He lives for gaming. He is MAD. Edited March 22, 2012 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I would advise (from personal experience) taking a step back and taking as long as you need to evaluate what your true and ultimate goals are for your child and whether your approach and response to him are achieving that. I know with my DS, his mannerisms trigger a very negative response from me. Intellectually, I know he can't help some of his behavior and that if I respond negatively it will escalate, but I can't help it! So a great deal of our work between therapy sessions involves how I anticipate and respond to DS' behavior and reactions as much as DS learning to control his behavior. If you are daily driven to the point of exasperation, then something has to change and it may be that in the short term what has to change is your goals. I'm sorry I don't know your background- how long you've been at this. We're about 16 months into the process so we are just now getting to a point where things are calm most days. I still have to walk on eggshells quite a bit though. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 It isn't always this bad. We can go weeks without major issues but when it is major, it tends to be a blowout. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Deep breath, it will pass. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 Oh, believe me, I know all the "right" things to do.....count to 10, breath deeply, walk away, take a break, don't let him get your goat because then he wins, rewards not punishments, etc......I could spit out every "counseloreze" to you all day long. But my son and I, well, let's just say that we can be like oil and water sometimes. Walking away does NOT take the issue away.....when I come back in 10 minutes, he continues the fit unless I "give in" which I was not willing to do yesterday. It is not daily. It was more often when I was trying to do Sonlight with him (which I loved, he hated). We now do workbooks. They are boring, but they are independent work. I have become far more hands off so that I can deal with him and so that he actually gets SOMETHING done. I would advise (from personal experience) taking a step back and taking as long as you need to evaluate what your true and ultimate goals are for your child and whether your approach and response to him are achieving that. I know with my DS, his mannerisms trigger a very negative response from me. Intellectually, I know he can't help some of his behavior and that if I respond negatively it will escalate, but I can't help it! So a great deal of our work between therapy sessions involves how I anticipate and respond to DS' behavior and reactions as much as DS learning to control his behavior. If you are daily driven to the point of exasperation, then something has to change and it may be that in the short term what has to change is your goals. I'm sorry I don't know your background- how long you've been at this. We're about 16 months into the process so we are just now getting to a point where things are calm most days. I still have to walk on eggshells quite a bit though. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dkpalaska Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I have bad days with my NT child, too. Though it's never as bad as the bad days with my SN kids! I hope today is better, and next week will be a welcome break for you both. You know how much good you are doing for him, he doesn't. It can feel sooooo unrewarding, even as you do exactly what you feel you are being called to do. One day at a time! (Though more often it's one hour, one minute, or one second...:001_smile:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyfordlr Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I have bad days with my NT child, too. Though it's never as bad as the bad days with my SN kids! I hope today is better, and next week will be a welcome break for you both. You know how much good you are doing for him, he doesn't. It can feel sooooo unrewarding, even as you do exactly what you feel you are being called to do. One day at a time! (Though more often it's one hour, one minute, or one second...:001_smile:) I sooooo needed to read this just now!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 THANK YOU! Today has been a much better day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetsouthern Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 :grouphug: u have described my 11 yr old to a tee most days. im sorry... i know many days i pull my hair out of my head!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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