coffeefreak Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 BARGH!!!!! It has been one of those weeks and this is the only place I can yell this: YES, I HAVE A JOB! NO, IT'S NOT OUTSIDE THE HOME! I'M SORRY WE CAN'T DO THE THINGS THAT YOU (the extended family) WANT US TO DO BUT WE'RE HAPPY, WHY CAN'T YOU BE HAPPY FOR US?!?!?! and NO, I'M NOT GOING BACK TO WORK!!!!!:cursing::banghead: Now I can share the backstory. DH had a part-time second job that was a huge blessing to us. For the first time, we were able to farm out some of my dd's school, and take vacation to see family etc. That job let him go on Monday. It was a huge blow simply because they were nasty and my dh's angry, but in a way it's a huge relief because they weren't the easiest people to work for, and at one time he was working over 60 hours a week because of both jobs. So today, we had to tell family that we weren't going to be able to visit this summer, and that we had pulled our oldest out of Veritas Press' Academy. I think you can see how that all went. You know, we feel bad enough as it is. I have gone around and around with myself this week, wondering if I really AM doing a good job, wondering if we can still provide a quality education for our kids without the accredited diploma, wondering if I will ever quit feeling like a failure?:crying: But you know what my oldest said to me? She said that while she has LOVED VP this year (she really has), she misses working with us. She was also worried about the workload and whether she could keep up (that was my worry too). And then, she said, "Mom, you haven't failed yet! We still have 6 more years, I mean, isn't that when you'll know whether you failed or not? When I move out?":lol: So, OK, I feel better. I'm not a failure, I'm just a homeschool mom that knew this time in life would be hard, and there would be lots of battles to fight. However, I still get discouraged when after 7 years, no one understands that what we're doing is OK.:glare: KWIM? OH, and BTW, VP has been very gracious and kind to us. They really are a great company to work with. Thanks for letting me yell :blush: Blessings! Dorinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 I understand what you are doing, and it's more than okay. :) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 :grouphug: And yes, homeschooling is a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 :grouphug: What your daughter said was so sweet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 And then, she said, "Mom, you haven't failed yet! We still have 6 more years, I mean, isn't that when you'll know whether you failed or not? When I move out?":lol: No, it's when she moves back in to STAY! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 :lol: Dh was talking about something the other day and said he had to be at work at 8 am but would probably be able to get home by 3 pm. DD27 (staying with us while her spouse deploys) said she had to work at 7:30 am. I said "oh I have to get to work by 9 am, but I hope to be done by around 2 or 3 pm, depending on how things go". Utter silence. Then dd8 cracked up laughing and said "oh, we don't mind at all if you take tomorrow off, actually!" YES IT IS A JOB! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 I've been in your shoes and it really stinks.:grouphug: It took almost 15 years before my inlaws realized that I don't sit on my bum all day eating bonbons and watching bad television. Your daughter sounds like a wonderful girl, so you must be doing something right.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xilka Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 BARGH!!!!!But you know what my oldest said to me? She said that while she has LOVED VP this year (she really has), she misses working with us. She was also worried about the workload and whether she could keep up (that was my worry too). And then, she said, "Mom, you haven't failed yet! We still have 6 more years, I mean, isn't that when you'll know whether you failed or not? When I move out?":lol: That's so awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 from the mouth of babes...... :grouphug: sorry things have been so stressful lately...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 And then, she said, "Mom, you haven't failed yet! We still have 6 more years, I mean, isn't that when you'll know whether you failed or not? When I move out?":lol: I love this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted March 18, 2012 Author Share Posted March 18, 2012 No, it's when she moves back in to STAY! :lol: :lol: HAHAHAH!!!! I sure hope not! And thanks everyone. My oldest IS a neat kid. She and I butt heads a lot, but when it comes right down to it, she knows how good she has it :lol: :grouphug: back at ya! Dorinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 You know what's odd? My MIL, who heartily disapproves of us homeschooling, tried to get DH to hire somebody to clean our house BECAUSE I HAVE A FULL-TIME JOB!! I was stunned. She is a schoolteacher and knows how hard I have to work to do what I do. DH didn't go for it, but I was so impressed she went to bat for me. She still doesn't like homeschooling, but she does recognize the amount of work I do. (BTW, she's never said anything negative to me. DH has gotten an earful over the years, though.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayb842 Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I'm a former public school teacher. This is the amount of work. You know the main difference is I teach until he masters it. I can't lay any of at my parents feet. It's the biggest challenge and the most fun of my career. :001_smile::) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I am not quite understanding. Did your family imply you should get a job to help pay for trips to see them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted March 19, 2012 Author Share Posted March 19, 2012 I am not quite understanding. Did your family imply you should get a job to help pay for trips to see them? Yes. Among other things.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I think it sounds like your daughter is a gem and that you are doing something really right there! Chin up, mama, people will not always understand, but you are doing what you know to be right before God and for your family. That is the most important. Hugs to you and God bless your whole family! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 My husband keeps hinting that I should go get a job and he'll stay at home all day with the kids. Mmmhmmm. These people (including your in-laws) just.do.not.get.it. Next time, smile and say, "Please pass the bean dip." And don't say another word. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I see. My MIL keeps implying that all of our money is Dh's money since HE works and I don't. :glare: Dawn Yes. Among other things.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 I see. My MIL keeps implying that all of our money is Dh's money since HE works and I don't. :glare: Dawn :blink: Besides the obvious, that's RUDE!!!!!:banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I see. My MIL keeps implying that all of our money is Dh's money since HE works and I don't. :glare: Dawn My MIL wouldn't dare, Dh was a SAHD for a few years and 'our' money was certainly 'our' money THEN.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 My husband keeps hinting that I should go get a job and he'll stay at home all day with the kids.Mmmhmmm. These people (including your in-laws) just.do.not.get.it. Next time, smile and say, "Please pass the bean dip." And don't say another word. ;) Let him. See how long he lasts! :D Mine did it. He REALLY appreciates me now and rarely opens his mouth to complain about anything at home or with the kids. I tell him now and then that I'm thinking of going back to work again and would he switch with me...he literally begs me to reconsider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 :grouphug: And yes, homeschooling is a job. Amen!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Let him. See how long he lasts! :D Mine did it. He REALLY appreciates me now and rarely opens his mouth to complain about anything at home or with the kids. I tell him now and then that I'm thinking of going back to work again and would he switch with me...he literally begs me to reconsider. Mine didn't even have to stay home. He took a month of leave for our move. He was MORE than ready to go back to work after his month was up. :) He also told me the house isn't my job - we share that workload. His job is work, my job is school, our job is house/meals/groceries, etc. :D If family wants to visit so bad, why can't they come your way? Or...pay for you to come to them if that's what they really want? I flat out told my family that I would not be home for a visit until, at the very least, next summer...but they are more than welcome to come visit us whenever they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trlt Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I go through similar things with my in-laws (and the rest of my dh's extended family). They KNOW we are homeschooling our dd and yet they still ask (every single time we get together) what we spend our time doing at home...seriously?! My MIL was over one day and was looking at our new bedroom furniture and commented "wow, that's a lot of pillows...I guess you have time to make a bed like that since you don't work". It's so frustrating. My dh's family is very close and they all work, I am the only adult in their family that doesn't work outside the home. I always feel like they look down on me for that. I am just so lucky that my dh understands all I do and how hard I do work and he constantly tells me that he is so glad I don't have an outside job because raising our daughter is the greatest thing I could ever do. Just wish my in-laws got the memo!:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Let him. See how long he lasts! :D Mine did it. He REALLY appreciates me now and rarely opens his mouth to complain about anything at home or with the kids. I tell him now and then that I'm thinking of going back to work again and would he switch with me...he literally begs me to reconsider. My DW takes the kids sometimes on the weekend while I go out for awhile. I've occasionally declared that I'm going back to work and she can stay home for awhile. She is 100% against that. She says if I go back to work we'l have to hire a nanny and housekeeper and both work, there's NO WAY she could do what I do. She's very appreciative and that is awesome. My family is a sometimes a little mystified, but usually refrain from being outright rude about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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