When you have a student who would benefit from a classroom setting, what do you do?

[razorbackmama]

I'm thinking my oldest could benefit from being in a classroom with peers for a least a class or two. Quite frankly, he needs to clue into the fact that his work is not up to snuff and that no, Mom is NOT expecting too much out of him and is NOT just being picky picky picky.;) He needs to learn how to be accountable for his own work and deadlines, with consequences OUTSIDE OF MOM.

 

He is currently taking a class online with Potter's School, and it's good for ME in that I am not having to grade and all that. But he still isn't tuned in to deadlines, etc. It's not just pure laziness - he's just not used to this sort of thing and having to pay attention to when assignments are due. I could just ignore all the deadlines and leave him be, but honestly it wouldn't even cross his mind to care about failing. Since it's an online class, it's really easy for him to pretend it doesn't exist. (Again, not in a bad way.)

 

So I'm thinking that an "in person" class might be good for him. If he missed a deadline, he'd have to own up to the teacher rather than me. He'd also realize that UH OH, he missed a deadline that EVERYONE ELSE DIDN'T. I think being around the other kids' work might help too - I'm hopeful that he'd realize that wow, 2 sentences does NOT an essay make.;)

 

However, WHERE TO FIND THIS??? I do live in a major metro area, but I've been very surprised at how little there is around here to do that. I know of 2 co-ops in our city, but I really don't want to do a co-op where I would be required to teach (I'd be required to teach 2-3 classes with these). Currently he is enrolled in a public charter for homeschoolers, but his classes are primarily enrichment. Also, he is one of only 3 high schoolers in his little school, so there's not a large group of kids for him to compare himself with. While legally I can send him to a class or two at our local high school, I don't want to do that because it literally is one of the worst high schools in the state academically. I'd like the bar to be set a smidge higher.;) I do know of a co-op that doesn't require parents to teach (the students pay the teachers), and I'm looking into it for him, but it's a 45-minute drive one way.:glare:

 

IMO I have a LOT of options here, compared with other places we've lived. None of them is ideal though, and that got me to wondering...what if we still lived in some of those other places, where there AREN'T options? Then what would we do? (And what might we have to do if this co-op thing doesn't pan out?) What do others in this situation do?

[Rebecca VA]

Is there a private school that will allow him to take a class or two for a fee?

[Bluegoat]

It's an interesting problem. I think in some cases people just have to do without.

 

My kids are much younger, but I think for us the thing that has given dd7 the most 'accountability" factor is her music/piano class. They have designated workbook pages plus practices to do each week in a class of four kids. practices are kept track of and they get small gifts along the way for milestones, like pencils or stickers. It isn't competitive, but it gives a sense of structure.

 

So maybe something else that might not be academic could fill the roll you are looking for, like a sports or robotics team or 4-H, or even a job or volunteer work, or something like teaching a Sunday school class. Something where other people depend on him to do his part.

 

In a rural area, I'd be big on encouraging serious work requirements from kids, like helping in the garden or helping with animal care, or doing the same things for a neighbour.

[razorbackmama]

Is there a private school that will allow him to take a class or two for a fee?

Can you believe that in my city of 300,000 people, there is not a single private high school that I know of???:001_huh: I do know of 2 in neighboring suburbs, and one of them does have a part-time option for homeschoolers, but OH MY STARS is it pricey. I haven't looked into the other school, but that's a good idea. It's "only" 45 minutes away also.

[razorbackmama]

It's an interesting problem. I think in some cases people just have to do without.

 

My kids are much younger, but I think for us the thing that has given dd7 the most 'accountability" factor is her music/piano class. They have designated workbook pages plus practices to do each week in a class of four kids. practices are kept track of and they get small gifts along the way for milestones, like pencils or stickers. It isn't competitive, but it gives a sense of structure.

 

So maybe something else that might not be academic could fill the roll you are looking for, like a sports or robotics team or 4-H, or even a job or volunteer work, or something like teaching a Sunday school class. Something where other people depend on him to do his part.

 

In a rural area, I'd be big on encouraging serious work requirements from kids, like helping in the garden or helping with animal care, or doing the same things for a neighbour.

When it comes to a generic work ethic, he has that. He just is completely naive when it comes to what others produce academically, and he needs to be woken up a bit in that department.

[regentrude]

My DD thrives on live class settings, too. She is dually enrolled at the local university.

Can you try community college?

[razorbackmama]

My DD thrives on live class settings, too. She is dually enrolled at the local university.

Can you try community college?

Maybe when he's older. I doubt very seriously he'd even get in at this point in time.;)

[MidwesternMom]

Maybe sending him to the local school wouldn't be such a bad plan. Sure, they aren't up to snuff academically, but he'd be getting the "here comes a deadline, ignore it at your peril" piece. If he is currently producing two-sentence essays ;) it may be worthwhile just to see him produce a real paper, even if it's not of the highest caliber.

 

IME, homeschooling co-op's don't feature much accountability, so I'm not sure if yours are like ours that he'd feel any worse about not having his work done for them than he does not having it done for you.

 

FWIW, my friend's son NEVER did a thing at home and dragged his feet like there was no tomorrow even about online classes. When he started PS high school (his request) there was a quick "welcome to reality" period and he shaped up really well. He had the skills, but not the motivation, until he was with peers. His competetive nature (same nature that made him a game aholic at home) makes it so he can't stand to do worse than others.

[razorbackmama]

Truly, our local high school is bad news (more reasons than academics). I literally would have to be dead before we sent our kids there. (And then I'd hope my husband would try to get them into other schools.)

 

You do bring up an interesting point about the co-op. I'll have to ponder that. I THINK he'd do better simply because I wouldn't be his teacher and any information about any assignments, etc. would be more "in your face" from his teacher and other students. But maybe not.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've had to become more hard-line on deadlines, assignment requirements etc. this year. No, ds doesn't get to see others handing stuff in but he does see me handing things back to him for him to redo and he sees me marking things down for being late. If he gave me grief, then the person he would be handing things into would be his dad. I see this as not an artificial lesson but a necessary one for learning how high school and eventually college works and of course the working world as well.

[razorbackmama]

I've had to become more hard-line on deadlines, assignment requirements etc. this year. No, ds doesn't get to see others handing stuff in but he does see me handing things back to him for him to redo and he sees me marking things down for being late. If he gave me grief, then the person he would be handing things into would be his dad. I see this as not an artificial lesson but a necessary one for learning how high school and eventually college works and of course the working world as well.

What consequences do you have in place? I already mark stuff up a lot and make him redo (even my 1st graders have to redo something if it's not "A" material...on regular work they redo till it's right and on tests for a grade they correct it once and then I average the 2 grades for their final grade. In high school I take their first grade but still make them correct it.) I have marked off for missing deadlines before. He honestly doesn't give a rip. OR he thinks I'm just being too hard-nosed. I cannot count on Dad because he is either not here enough or he's so out of the loop (pretty much from not being here - the kids see him for about 30 minutes a day during the week and then on the weekends he's so busy that it's not like we truly interact a bunch) that he has absolutely no clue what goes on with our school (until it gets REALLY bad).

 

I WANT to just handle it all in-house (less running around ROFLOL!!!), but I can't come up with decent consequences.

[Barbara H]

This may not be financially practical, but I'm wondering about the possibility of getting him working with a tutor. Or, if the co-op classes aren't rigorous, possibly hiring a tutor/teacher and setting up a little class splitting the cost with a couple of other families. Having the motivation of an outside class can be helpful, but only if the class is really going to require the kids to work.

[razorbackmama]

This may not be financially practical, but I'm wondering about the possibility of getting him working with a tutor. Or, if the co-op classes aren't rigorous, possibly hiring a tutor/teacher and setting up a little class splitting the cost with a couple of other families. Having the motivation of an outside class can be helpful, but only if the class is really going to require the kids to work.

Nope, not financially possible. :( But also, I think he needs several other kids more than he needs another teacher, if that makes sense. He's very social, so I think he needs that positive peer pressure.

[Sandragood1]

My ds really does better in a small class environment. He likes being around other people, he does well with their deadlines, he is learning accountability. He is taking classes at one co-op-ish organization - it is actually for home schoolers in 7-12th, but you pay by the class and they hire teachers. Next year we will be adding classes from 1 or 2 other similar organizations.

 

I found these opportunities through networking with the local home schooling community. Only two of the three groups are advertised online. One I found totally by word of mouth.

 

By attending some home school events, such as home school skate at the ice rink, I hear about many opportunities that I would otherwise have no idea even existed! Is there something like this that you can be a part of?

 

Otherwise, hire a teacher and look for 4-5 others to join in the class. This way you get exactly what you want, it could even be at your home or a close library!

 

Sandra

[EKS]

I had a student like that (except mine did and does care about failing). I put him in school full time in January.

 

I've made two excellent decisions regarding this kid's schooling: when I decided to homeschool him in 2nd grade and when I decided to stop homeschooling him in 10th.

[razorbackmama]

My ds really does better in a small class environment. He likes being around other people, he does well with their deadlines, he is learning accountability. He is taking classes at one co-op-ish organization - it is actually for home schoolers in 7-12th, but you pay by the class and they hire teachers. Next year we will be adding classes from 1 or 2 other similar organizations.

Yes, we have one of those available - it's my "possibility" that I listed above. I love the model totally. Just am not looking forward to the drive.:glare:

 

I found these opportunities through networking with the local home schooling community. Only two of the three groups are advertised online. One I found totally by word of mouth.

 

By attending some home school events, such as home school skate at the ice rink, I hear about many opportunities that I would otherwise have no idea even existed! Is there something like this that you can be a part of?

I'm a part of them LOL. That's actually how I found out about that co-op-like thing. One of the co-ops I'm ruling out (since I would have to teach) doesn't even HAVE a website that I can find - I've only heard about it through word of mouth.

 

Otherwise, hire a teacher and look for 4-5 others to join in the class. This way you get exactly what you want, it could even be at your home or a close library!

Now THAT is something I hadn't considered. I've said to other people that if I knew at all what I was doing I'd want to start one of those co-op-like groups in our city because I know there are people who might want to do it. In fact, several of our charter high schoolers have left and are going to public school part-time, and I wonder if it's due to the lack-of-rigor factor. Maybe I could start with just one class and expand from there?????

[razorbackmama]

I had a student like that (except mine did and does care about failing). I put him in school full time in January.

 

I've made two excellent decisions regarding this kid's schooling: when I decided to homeschool him in 2nd grade and when I decided to stop homeschooling him in 10th.

If it weren't for how incredibly bad our schools are here, I probably would have already done it. That and the fact that they don't hold kids back (and he probably would need to be held back) - they just pass them on through.:glare:

[Momofeat]

I'm thinking my oldest could benefit from being in a classroom with peers for a least a class or two. Quite frankly, he needs to clue into the fact that his work is not up to snuff and that no, Mom is NOT expecting too much out of him and is NOT just being picky picky picky.;) He needs to learn how to be accountable for his own work and deadlines, with consequences OUTSIDE OF MOM.

 

He is currently taking a class online with Potter's School, and it's good for ME in that I am not having to grade and all that. But he still isn't tuned in to deadlines, etc. It's not just pure laziness - he's just not used to this sort of thing and having to pay attention to when assignments are due. I could just ignore all the deadlines and leave him be, but honestly it wouldn't even cross his mind to care about failing. Since it's an online class, it's really easy for him to pretend it doesn't exist. (Again, not in a bad way.)

 

So I'm thinking that an "in person" class might be good for him. If he missed a deadline, he'd have to own up to the teacher rather than me. He'd also realize that UH OH, he missed a deadline that EVERYONE ELSE DIDN'T. I think being around the other kids' work might help too - I'm hopeful that he'd realize that wow, 2 sentences does NOT an essay make.;)

 

However, WHERE TO FIND THIS??? I do live in a major metro area, but I've been very surprised at how little there is around here to do that. I know of 2 co-ops in our city, but I really don't want to do a co-op where I would be required to teach (I'd be required to teach 2-3 classes with these). Currently he is enrolled in a public charter for homeschoolers, but his classes are primarily enrichment. Also, he is one of only 3 high schoolers in his little school, so there's not a large group of kids for him to compare himself with. While legally I can send him to a class or two at our local high school, I don't want to do that because it literally is one of the worst high schools in the state academically. I'd like the bar to be set a smidge higher.;) I do know of a co-op that doesn't require parents to teach (the students pay the teachers), and I'm looking into it for him, but it's a 45-minute drive one way.:glare:

 

IMO I have a LOT of options here, compared with other places we've lived. None of them is ideal though, and that got me to wondering...what if we still lived in some of those other places, where there AREN'T options? Then what would we do? (And what might we have to do if this co-op thing doesn't pan out?) What do others in this situation do?

 

When we hit this with my dd(12), I became an IEW registered instructor and began offering classes out of my home. Soon I was asked to offer them in a second location. Although I'm still her teacher, she is very motivated by her peers to complete her assignments.

[razorbackmama]

When we hit this with my dd(12), I became an IEW registered instructor and began offering classes out of my home. Soon I was asked to offer them in a second location. Although I'm still her teacher, she is very motivated by her peers to complete her assignments.

How did you go about doing this? IEW is actually the class I was thinking about trying to put together with a group of kids. Is there a way to find a registered instructor in my area? Is there a directory of sorts on their website or anything?

[Jean in Newcastle]

What consequences do you have in place? I already mark stuff up a lot and make him redo (even my 1st graders have to redo something if it's not "A" material...on regular work they redo till it's right and on tests for a grade they correct it once and then I average the 2 grades for their final grade. In high school I take their first grade but still make them correct it.) I have marked off for missing deadlines before. He honestly doesn't give a rip. OR he thinks I'm just being too hard-nosed. I cannot count on Dad because he is either not here enough or he's so out of the loop (pretty much from not being here - the kids see him for about 30 minutes a day during the week and then on the weekends he's so busy that it's not like we truly interact a bunch) that he has absolutely no clue what goes on with our school (until it gets REALLY bad).

 

I WANT to just handle it all in-house (less running around ROFLOL!!!), but I can't come up with decent consequences.

 

When he has to redo something it is on his own time. He is still responsible for keeping up with the normal school schedule. So there is the added consequence of no fun activities during his free time until it is done. But I do have to say that my ds has responded well to me upping the ante so I don't have a lot of BTDT advice if someone doesn't respond.

[Nan in Mass]

I second the community college idea. I, too, had problems getting mine to stick to mummy-set deadlines. Every assignment was a negotiation, both as to timing and details. (This is not a bad model for real life, actually, so I wasn't that unhappy with it, especially as I am not the best judge as to what is reasonable, but it wasn't good preparation for college.) We began community college classes in 10th or 11th grade. At that point, I thought they were old enough to deal with it. We began with a semester of drawing and speech - easy classes, but ones which allowed them to get used to learning in a classroom, keeping track of their assignments, and dealing with the college. Then they took science and math and a few other things. I found that mine needed time to get used to juggling several classes, and then more time to get used to juggling a full schedule of outside classes. I'm glad I didn't send them straight to college at the end of high school. The community college classes didn't always raise the bar, since some of the cc classes were not exactly a challenge, but some were a challenge (chemistry). Both my sons enjoyed the classroom interaction, at least at times. At the end of 8th grade, mine would not have been able to score high enough on the placement tests to be able to take classes for credit, at least in writing. (I think they would have in math and reading.) We spent 9th grade working on that, and working on study skills. Perhaps your son would find that motivating? I completely understand being oblivious to grades. Grades were not a motivator for my children until they were in community college classes knowing that whatever universities they applied to would require certain grades from those classes. At home, they either learned something because I told them they had to and they trusted me or they learned something because they wanted to. Community college "fixed" that. (In an ideal world, this would not be a good thing, but unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world. High school, if one's is trying to get into college and is not naturally brilliant and academic-minded, is sort of the point at which we as parents have to tell them not to do what we have been teaching them all along, but do what is not right but is the way the world works. It is a weird situation, one which non-homeschoolers meet much more quickly, like at about age 6.)

 

Nan

Edited March 16, 2012 by Nan in Mass

[razorbackmama]

I'm wondering if the Lord has solved my dilemma.:001_smile:

 

I talked with our charter coordinator today, and apparently there are going to be several more high schoolers next year. (Currently there are 3.) So many, in fact, that they most likely will have to split up the current class of 7th-12th graders into a jr. high and a sr. high class. (And actually there will be so many 7th graders due to the current 6th graders that they may have to have a 7th grade class and an 8th grade class.)

 

5-6 of the high schoolers are also going to go to our technical college in the morning (my ds may be one of them, if I can figure out how to squeeze everything in for him), so he would do that every morning and then go to our charter for Spanish and some other academic class in the afternoon one day a week. I told her that he needs to "produce" more and have a larger group of kids to work with. I'm VERY excited about having a separate high school class so that it can be a more rigorous class. And I will encourage the teacher to do a more academic class like writing or something (it hasn't been decided yet). Like I said, he just needs to be able to PRODUCE more and realize just what a grade-appropriate expectation is.

 

So maybe it will work out to just leave him in the charter????? I hope so because that really is the easiest solution....