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How do you keep on track on a daily basis without medication?

 

I'm just meandering through life. I do get a lot done, but it's the things that get lost along the way that bother me the most.

 

I can totally relate to the bolded. :grouphug:

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Little routines, Google calendar, lists (in specific locations), alarms for various things on my phone. I put stuff in my own way. Need to mail some packages? Put them against the door so I can't get out without picking them up. Things like that generally keep me from forgetting too many important things.

 

Always put things in the same place every time. That cuts down on time lost looking for stuff.

 

Make sure your family knows how important these things are to your ability to do your job. I let them know if I have to look through fifteen cabinets for every little ingredient, it's going to delay dinner and make me very frustrated. This is why I need them to put it back where it belongs.

 

Just a few things off the top of my head.

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I sort of play the "mom" role in my household, so I face those struggles too. The most useful thing for me has been the local support group for adults with ADD/ADHD. We meet every third Thursday and share invaluable tips. It's fun and helpful. I would encourage you to poke around and see if some kind of similar group is available near you.

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Little routines...

 

I do all of these things. I use Google calendar to remind me of anything I need to do. It sends me an email which I leave bolded as new mail until I do it. I have gmail set up to keep all unread mail at the time.

 

I put my purse on things I don't want to forget instead of it's usual spot. My keys always go in my purse and my purse always goes in the same place. I don't lose my keys anymore (used to be a daily occurance).

 

I get on the kids to put dishes away in the proper places.

 

But I have not mastered the art of following a routine, even a short one. I have a morning routine that often doesn't get done or doesn't get until until late morning. Our after dinner routine is very difficult for me to follow. It's the end of the day and no one wants to do those chores. It's hard to make it happen, though DH does push a bit to make it happen most of the time. He has the job of doing dishes, which really makes the next day go better, but sometimes he has work (and some days he's just plain not home) so they don't get done which makes the next day start poorly.

 

I sort of play the "mom" role in my household, so I face those struggles too. The most useful thing for me has been the local support group for adults with ADD/ADHD. We meet every third Thursday and share invaluable tips. It's fun and helpful. I would encourage you to poke around and see if some kind of similar group is available near you.

 

I'll see if there is one that fits our schedule. It's hard to fit anything else in.

 

 

The hardest thing, I think, is setting a workable routine and then getting it down, without too many distractions, in a reasonable amount of time. I find that I'm behind all day. I wake up late due being unable to fall asleep before 1-3am, can't function because I'm tired, get distracted by the computer or a book I'm reading, then someone wants to eat so I start my morning routine which starts with showering. An hour later, I start cooking breakfast. Then we eat. Then I need to wash those dishes. I forget to start laundry in the morning like I want. I wanted to spend time with the littles before nap but now it's nap time because my morning didn't get done. And I can't spend time with them after nap because I have to wash lunch dishes and get started on dinner. And I haven't had to time to ______. Then we eat and DS/DH are off to TDK so dinner chores are on me. Before I know it, it's bedtime and I have a whole list of things that didn't get done and regrets.

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Or I get distracted doing school. From today:

 

Started out going back to the drawing board on Mika's writing assignment to write a paragraph explaining why, according to the Preamble, did the founding fathers write the Constitution. While we did go over the Preamble again, we also started going through the articles of the Constitution which led to discussions about how the House and Senate are formed, when the elections are held, the details of the impeachments of Johnson, Nixon, and Clinton, reading the Bill of Rights, what constitutes a legal search and seizure, why you should pick your friends carefully, what double jeopardy is, how juries are formed, some literary discussion about a book we are reading in which the Bill of Rights were tossed in favor of a New Rights Bill, and more.

 

It's 1:30pm and nothing assigned as been completed yet today...and most of that is on me because I didn't get them started until 10:30am and then got them off track with a hour and a half long sidetracked discussion.

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Joann I also have ADD, and of all the stuff out there, the only relatively inexpensive supplement that works for me is 5-htp. You can get it at Costco. It is a miracle drug. Basically it provides the precursor to the serotonin that we ADD brains burn like wildfire. Please try it out. It ...wow.

 

To the rest of it-- sigh. ((((Hugs)))) and know that you are not alone. You probably do get more done than you think you do BECAUSE you're working so hard to compensate. Everyone loses track of some things along the way, everyone.

 

xo

Lory

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Things slip through the cracks. I keep trying various systems to keep track of stuff better. It helps to have a book that I like. It's pretty and I like the feel of the paper and it's fun writing things in it. Yes, this can actually make a difference for my organization. Other planners that I have are filled up for the first couple weeks then blank for the rest. You have to actually pick up and open your planner often to use it. Currently, I am not using an actual planner but just a blank book I picked up from B&N. Inside I have shopping lists, to do lists, ideas for the art class I teach for co-op, curriculum plans for next year, gardening plans for the garden I'm starting this year and so on. I printed out a couple of blank calendar pages and stapled those in as well. A naturally organized person would probably go nuts at the random, hodge-podge of my "organization" tool but it works for me because it's interesting to look at, and fun to use.

 

Still, sometimes I just forget things. When I say that I'll do something, I ask people to remind me. Text me or email me or something. My MIL knows me well enough to know that she needs to do this if she wants to count on me not forgetting. :p Yes, I feel bad that I don't naturally remember everything, and I really do honestly try. Last summer our piano routine changed. Lessons were on a different day. And I forgot half of them. I know my kids' piano teacher was very exasperated with me. I called or emailed, apologizing each time. When the school year started again, she put us back in our same time slot. :p My kids help to remind me of things, particularly my younger daughter.

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It helps to have a book that I like. It's pretty and I like the feel of the paper and it's fun writing things in it.

 

I can see how this would help. I use plain spiral notebooks which I misplace because they are plain. Then I pick a new one. I ended up with tons of spiral notebooks with a few pages used all over the place.

 

I have a really cute small notebook (about 3x5 inches) that a friend gave me that I haven't lost in a month. I'm using it for doodles.

 

I should get something similar for notes.

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So, how do you stop yourself from getting sidetracked from getting things done?

 

While an hour and a half long civics lesson isn't bad, it was not on today's agenda, ykwim?

 

Be flexible. No, it wasn't on the agenda. But the agenda is just a tool, it's not something you HAVE to follow. Just adjust. Cut out something that doesn't have to get done, or push it to the next day or get it done later today. One of the best things I've done lately is put a bunch of my kids schoolwork in one binder which we can easily take with us. They can get school done in the car now.

 

Give as much responsibility to the kids for following the schedule. We're on our fourth schedule this year. That's not a bad thing. We rearrange and adjust things to suit people's moods. I'm not afraid of changing stuff up so long as we are still getting things done. Give check lists to the kids so they can start checking things off. Sometimes schedules don't work and things fall apart for a while and I realize we aren't getting enough done so I put together another schedule and we follow it really well for a while. I set an alarm and get up early. My kids' best thinking time is first thing in the morning. Math needs to get done in the first couple hours of school. Schedule breaks. Use a timer.

 

And try to pull yourself away from the things that distract you the most. For me, it's this computer. I pop on just to skim the boards to check my email and time just flies by. So now I'm not letting myself even touch it for certain blocks of time during the day.

 

Please don't think I have this figured out. I've lived without medication my entire life, and my house is still a mess and I'm still having to rewrite schedules four times in a single school year. ;) These are just some ideas that have made things a little easier for me. But there are plenty of days I look at the clock and think :confused: where did all the time go and how did I accomplish so little?

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fwiw....

 

i set the timer before i do anything. so when the timer goes off, i know i'm supposed to stop and start something else.

 

and i have rules for myself: eg. if i turn something on in the kitchen, i may not leave the kitchen until it is off again.

 

routines are short, and in groups.

eg. i get up, go to the bathroom, weigh myself, walk to the kitchen, make coffee. while the coffee perks, i unload the dishwasher, and start loading it again. i start a load of laundry (which is right off the kitchen area). the coffee is done. i set the timer, pour a cup of coffee, and sit down at the computer with dh. we have our morning coffee and chat about news.

 

the timer goes off.

 

new routine.

 

if the children aren't already awake, i get them up. i make them breakfast. i get youngest ready for historyatourhouse which starts at 8am. when history starts, next youngest starts latin with me.

 

end of breakfast routine.

new routine.

 

40 minutes later, historyatourhouse is over. i have youngest narrate back to me what the class was about. then she moves on to 15 minutes free time.

 

then next youngest has finished latin, and we move on to math. when i have taught the math lesson, and she is working on problems, i call youngest to do music practice.

 

end of routine.

 

and so the day goes.

for me, i spent a long time looking at my early morning, and grouping things into "packets" or routines. then i tried one out and tweaked it. once i had one working, i did the next one.

 

the key for me is to have an external source to remind me its time to "do the next thing".... the timer, a child, the timer, a different child, the timer, the finishing of an event.....

 

we don't really have an after dinner/dance routine, as it just never happened.... except that after dinner dishes go to the kitchen, and after dance, dance bags go in the front hall. most nights, while dds get ready for bed i reboot the dishwasher.

 

but i have to be brutal with myself about getting up at the same time each morning. sleeping in is not an option, even if i've been awake most of the night. (chronic pain). so each day starts at 6am. eventually, i am so tired that i sleep. if it is going on and on and on, then i nap after lunch.... with the timer set, and the dc told to waken me if i don't appear when the timer goes off.

 

so maybe start by linking two or three things...... soon, whenever you do thing A, you will almost automaticallly move on to do thing B and C.... then three things get done when you remembered one thing.

 

eg. when i take children anywhere, i take the garbage out on the way to the car. its a rule. ;)

 

and then there are Those Other Days, when i just wander aimlessly from one place to another..... but they are productive, just not quite as i'd planned....

 

:grouphug:

ann

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My husband handles all of the subjects that require a lot of concentration and focus. The subjects I teach; history, science, languages, geography, I do in 20 minute segments daily, which suits my kids just fine. I also try really hard to stay off the internet until bedtime, which obviously isn't working today.

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Be flexible. No, it wasn't on the agenda. But the agenda is just a tool, it's not something you HAVE to follow. Just adjust. Cut out something that doesn't have to get done, or push it to the next day or get it done later today. One of the best things I've done lately is put a bunch of my kids schoolwork in one binder which we can easily take with us. They can get school done in the car now.

 

Give as much responsibility to the kids for following the schedule. We're on our fourth schedule this year. That's not a bad thing. We rearrange and adjust things to suit people's moods. I'm not afraid of changing stuff up so long as we are still getting things done. Give check lists to the kids so they can start checking things off. Sometimes schedules don't work and things fall apart for a while and I realize we aren't getting enough done so I put together another schedule and we follow it really well for a while. I set an alarm and get up early. My kids' best thinking time is first thing in the morning. Math needs to get done in the first couple hours of school. Schedule breaks. Use a timer.

 

And try to pull yourself away from the things that distract you the most. For me, it's this computer. I pop on just to skim the boards to check my email and time just flies by. So now I'm not letting myself even touch it for certain blocks of time during the day.

 

Please don't think I have this figured out. I've lived without medication my entire life, and my house is still a mess and I'm still having to rewrite schedules four times in a single school year. ;) These are just some ideas that have made things a little easier for me. But there are plenty of days I look at the clock and think :confused: where did all the time go and how did I accomplish so little?

 

 

This this this this this.

 

And i gave the kids-- and myself-- these monster trapper-keeper like notebooks that really help with organization. The kids know that in the morning they are supposed to do their civics, geography and spelling for the day, maybe even get in some piano practice, before I do anything with them.

 

I did the same thing you did, Joann, with the million spiral notebooks, until I gave myself a honking big "portable desk" in that trapper keeper. I sparkly purple heart love it.

 

But really embrace the not-on-the-schedule, but not-bad-either thing, if you can. That's how LIFE is, for Pete's sake, and home schooling gives us more than enough flexibility to make up for moments like that. But frankly, I see your impromptu lesson as a STRENGTH, not a weakness, of your homeschool program.

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Is it possible that your ADD may be improving so that the Adderall is now acting more like a stimulant on your body? That would explain why you don't think it works anymore and you are less able to focus.

 

Is that your puppy in your avatar? Adorable!!

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But really embrace the not-on-the-schedule, but not-bad-either thing, if you can. That's how LIFE is, for Pete's sake, and home schooling gives us more than enough flexibility to make up for moments like that. But frankly, I see your impromptu lesson as a STRENGTH, not a weakness, of your homeschool program.

 

I think my frustration needs background.

 

Before CVA (virtual academy for all you non-Washington folks), I homeschooled. We did practically no history or science or anything really. I did manage to do phonics and math using Evan Moore type workbooks. That's about all we accomplished. I tried to do history and science but couldn't organize or stay on track well enough. Then I tried Konos, which required too much decision making and planning. It wasn't until I found SOTW and Apologia when DD was in 4th grade that I accomplished any history or science.

 

After CVA, the accountability pushed me to get something done. When Wednesday rolled around and we hadn't touched history, I'd do history first that day so there'd be something to report. When monthly reviews were due, I'd crisis schedule the subjects we were short on for the month. We started actually getting work done.

 

We're leaving CVA next year. That excites me because the pressure I feel every week/month would be gone. But it worries me because without that pressure we may not accomplish much.

 

Then there's the fact that I spend next to no time with my littles. I must feed everyone so cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner are my first priority. And because I cook from scratch, I spend 3-4 hours a day cooking, eating, and cleaning up. Then I focus on crisis managing school for the olders. Then I crisis manage the housework. "Oh, I don't have any clean underwear today!" Then the littles get whats left over, if anything is left.

 

Yes, I do get a lot done, but I still feel like I'm failing on so many levels. And part of the issue is that I'm not "making up" for those moments. My goal is one art project a week. I've been pushing it back and pushing it back and pushing it back for lack of planning/time. Today I crisis managed art and made them do it with minimum instruction while I made dinner. DS5 wanted to do art, too, but it was beyond his ability to do without help so he had to be happy with watching from a distance where he wouldn't mess them up by moving the table.

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Joann you sound like you do well with an externally-imposed structure, and I obviously VERY MUCH relate to what you're saying. It's the CRISIS! feeling that sucks the joy right the heck out of life. It can make you miserable.

 

I can highly recommend using calendars like Motivated Moms. That will seriously help you with managing cleaning and purchasing tasks. It's a purchase, but a minor one, and in my own mothers' group here, we all bought it like 5 (?) years ago and we learned so much from it that none of us uses it now. It teaches you how / what / when to clean so that you're not chaos-cleaning in fits and starts. Best thing for a fricking ADD Mom I have ever seen. http://www.motivatedmoms.com/

 

If your kids are getting older, I second or third the recommendations on this thread about giving the children weekly / monthly assignment charts and making THEM in charge of getting to their work, the stuff that doesn't require you. I have had success with that from 4th grade up. The littles, not so much.

 

I know you said in another thread that you don't teach cooking classes or whatnot. But if you're making everything from scratch (we have food allergies so we do this as well), then get those kids in the kitchen with you. Part of my own success in containing my spastic going in circles thing is that I have delegated a LOT of things to the kids. 1. It really does help me and 2. they're actually engaged in the household and know it and 3. it keeps them occupied while I spastically go around in circles.

 

Have you done month-of-meals or freezer cooking? I used to do that for a living and it really is a wonderful help. Crock pot love, I am sure you have that.

 

Be gentle on yourself. I experience so much self-loathing when I feel like I am a flibbertygibbet. It's hard to read it from someone else.

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Then there's the fact that I spend next to no time with my littles. I must feed everyone so cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner are my first priority. And because I cook from scratch, I spend 3-4 hours a day cooking, eating, and cleaning up.

 

Two of the key elements of being organized and productive are recognizing what is actually possible, and prioritizing. 3-4 hours in the kitchen every day does not leave enough time for everything else you have to do. That isn't because you're ADD or disorganized; it's because you're human, and there are only so many hours in the day :D

 

I'm not saying to reduce your priority on serving healthy food, but, if you are going to meet your other goals, you need to reduce your time in the kitchen. You can provide healthy food without COOKING breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. Meals can be simple, and leftovers are good.

 

Simplify. Cook one big meal, and eat it for lunch and dinner, or for two days the same week. Teach the older kids to cook a few simple items. Make a list of easy meals that cook quickly, or don't need cooking at all. Use a set menu. Have the kids on clean-up duty, and require it to be done before they get some treat - screen time, a snack, going outside, whatever motivates them. Use a crock pot. Use paper plates occasionally. Make a big long list of suggestions like these, and decide which ones might work for you.

 

I realize that you mentioned other issues as well, and yes, keep working at those, but also realize that 21-28 hours in the kitchen every week limits what you can do elsewhere.

 

To briefly address other stuff, try setting your phone or other timer to buzz at set intervals - this might be key times, like an hour before lunch and an hour before school ends, or it might need to be every hour to start with. It can help keep you from getting distracted or hyperfocused. In the case of your long civics lesson, it would let you make a concious decision as to whether the discussion was worth going off-schedule, or if you really needed to wrap it up. Good use of time is all about concious choices, imo.

 

Routines really are key. One way of getting into the habit of a routine is to post it in ALL the rooms - a constant visual reminder. These should be big and bright and beautiful! Yes, it might look a bit odd at first, but once the household is on the schedule, you can probably go to one in the school room (wherever you do school) and one in the kitchen. And if not, who cares, if it's working? When your timer goes off, all you have to do is glance up to see your schedule/routine.

 

I second the thought of having your important notebooks be both lovely and noticeable.

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one of the largefamilylogistics.com suggestions was to have one or more of the dc read aloud to you while you are in the kitchen.... or you read aloud in the kitchen while they do food prep/clean up?

 

fwiw, i don't think 3+ hours a day is out of the ordinary for making meals and cleaning up.... but i do make two meals worth of the same thing many times, so that i can freeze one and we can eat one.... that way, at least one day a week, and often more, i have something i can thaw and heat, which saves me a lot of time..... and preparing double of something doesn't take that much longer than doing just one recipe of it..... mostly chopping time for me.... can your dc chop things?

 

:grouphug: its such a worthwhile goal!

ann

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I know you said in another thread that you don't teach cooking classes or whatnot. But if you're making everything from scratch (we have food allergies so we do this as well), then get those kids in the kitchen with you. Part of my own success in containing my spastic going in circles thing is that I have delegated a LOT of things to the kids. 1. It really does help me and 2. they're actually engaged in the household and know it and 3. it keeps them occupied while I spastically go around in circles.

 

Have you done month-of-meals or freezer cooking? I used to do that for a living and it really is a wonderful help. Crock pot love, I am sure you have that.

 

I definitely second this. Yes, it seems like you can get more done without the kids underfoot, but it usually just ends up that mom is getting pulled in twenty different directions - for me, that was a huge part of the stress when my kids were younger. What worked was for us to move through our routine as a unit. When it was clean-up time, it was clean-up time for EVERYONE, and we did nothing but that for an hour or two hours or whatever. Even toddlers can be giving a wet rag to wipe the appliances and baseboards, and they are generally delighted to do so. Actually, group clean-up time is still what works best, we get soooo much done.

 

And so on through the routine. Everyone in the kitchen until lunch is prepped, eaten, and cleaned up. The bigs can definitely help out here, and the littles can wipe stuff down, or mine used to love sweeping with one of those mini brooms, the kind you might keep in your car? Staying together for much of the routine kept us on track and taught them the routine - it really can help to verbalize it frequently as you go along.

 

If you absolutely cannot make the all together routine work for all of the kids, I would at least require them to follow a parallel routine: while you do ABC, they do XYZ, every day. This can be as simple as: while mom preps lunch, Son A practices handwriting (any task that is easily stopped when lunch is ready).

 

While I am a big believer in routines, you may need a timed schedule for the short run. At various times, when our days start to fall apart, I have implemented timed schedules, and stuck to them closely until we got back on track.

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<snip> fwiw, i don't think 3+ hours a day is out of the ordinary for making meals and cleaning up....<snip>

 

I don't think it's unusual when factoring in actual cooking time, but I'm not in the kitchen that whole time; I'm getting other stuff done. I could never spend 3-4 hours JUST in the kitchen, and still do everything else.

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I don't think it's unusual when factoring in actual cooking time, but I'm not in the kitchen that whole time; I'm getting other stuff done. I could never spend 3-4 hours JUST in the kitchen, and still do everything else.

 

:iagree:

 

And let's not forget that most people manage to do some other things that involve stepping in and out of the room during that time. This is tricky for ADD folks without burning the house down. :tongue_smilie:

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Well, on the kitchen time, I'm factoring in...

 

cooking a hot breakfast

washing dishes and cleaning counters

preparing lunch (sometimes sandwiches, sometimes leftovers, sometimes cooked)

washing dishes

baking bread/tortillas

cooking dinner

washing dishes and cleaning counters (3 times a week)

baking dessert (couple times a week)

 

We eat mostly dairy free and low cost things.

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Well, on the kitchen time, I'm factoring in...

 

cooking a hot breakfast

washing dishes and cleaning counters

preparing lunch (sometimes sandwiches, sometimes leftovers, sometimes cooked)

washing dishes

baking bread/tortillas

cooking dinner

washing dishes and cleaning counters (3 times a week)

baking dessert (couple times a week)

 

We eat mostly dairy free and low cost things.

 

That reminds me of another tip, very useful for both school and general tasks: time yourelf. Spend a week or so figuring out exactly where your time goes. It's hard to plan your time if you dont' have a good handle on how long various tasks actually require. This goes for the kids as well (and sometimes it's easier to time yourself one week, and the kids another week): you want to allow ENOUGH time for their work, but not too much, b/c most people, kids and adults alike, will let the task expand to fill the time allotted.

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:iagree:

 

And let's not forget that most people manage to do some other things that involve stepping in and out of the room during that time. This is tricky for ADD folks without burning the house down. :tongue_smilie:

 

Again, timers will save you! I set the kitchen timer before I walk away - I don't use the vibrating timer for this, it needs to be different so I realize there's something I actually need to check on (rather than just being reminded of the time).

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Again, timers will save you! I set the kitchen timer before I walk away - I don't use the vibrating timer for this, it needs to be different so I realize there's something I actually need to check on (rather than just being reminded of the time).

 

The oven timer on my new range is absolutely obnoxious. It gives three long loud beeps every few seconds until you shut it off. I love it. ;)

 

The one on the micro is similar. They can both be used w/out the oven or micro being on. I use them all the time, but they would be less effective depending on your floorplan.

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