Jump to content

Menu

Recommended Posts

Guest LMonkey

My daughter is in the second grade, Catholic school. Her first report card she was praised for paying attention. Her second report card she was criticized for not paying attention. Concerned by the apparent change of behavior we asked the teacher to explain her analysis and flip flop. She said that my daughter (reading at 8th level) would often times launch into her work before she was given permission to do so, although her work was always excellent (she is at the top her class in math and reading) . The teacher told us she was a "leader" not a follower as though being a leader was a bad quality. We let her know that we felt that leading was a a good quality. The teacher didn't seem to like our position and seemed aggravated that we hadn't just "rolled" and gone along with her program. Long story short, now my daughter is being told (humiliated) that she is a "bad listener" at every available opportunity. The last time she was at computer workstation that kept crashing and having to be rebooted and she had to ask for the instructions several times. The teacher told her " you're a bad listener." We asked my daughter why she didn't tell the teacher the computer was having problems and she said, " because I didn't want to talk back to the teacher."

 

Our daughter is a demure, hard working angel...no really! Just ask her other teachers. Outside of Catholic school she studies at Kumon (math and reading), studies piano, take voice lessons, studies ballet, gymnastics, tennis, trains in Judo and soccer and each and every teacher has praised her attentiveness and hard work. We are concerned about this "teacher's" labeling of our daughter and how it might become a self full-filling prophecy.

 

At this point, we are concerned that the teacher has become ego defensive and is trying to find instances however contrived that will bolster her position as being "right" in her assessment instead of taking the non-ego approach that is essential to being a competent trainer.

 

Do we as parents address the issue with the school principal and suffer the political fallout or should we just sit tight and hope for the best while waiting for third grade.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 113
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I hope this doesn't come across as rude, but I can't help but wonder why you are asking this question on a homeschool forum. :confused:

 

Additionally, you have described a child who is so over-scheduled that it's almost impossible to believe that your story is true, particularly the part about her attending Kumon for math and reading, while you are also telling us that she is reading at an eighth grade level, and is at the top of her class in both math and reading.

 

Again, I'm sorry to be so abrupt, but your story is very difficult to believe.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oops -- sorry! Double post!

 

 

 

 

My daughter is in the second grade, Catholic school. Her first report card she was praised for paying attention. Her second report card she was criticized for not paying attention. Concerned by the apparent change of behavior we asked the teacher to explain her analysis and flip flop. She said that my daughter (reading at 8th level) would often times launch into her work before she was given permission to do so, although her work was always excellent (she is at the top her class in math and reading) . The teacher told us she was a "leader" not a follower as though being a leader was a bad quality. We let her know that we felt that leading was a a good quality. The teacher didn't seem to like our position and seemed aggravated that we hadn't just "rolled" and gone along with her program. Long story short, now my daughter is being told (humiliated) that she is a "bad listener" at every available opportunity. The last time she was at computer workstation that kept crashing and having to be rebooted and she had to ask for the instructions several times. The teacher told her " you're a bad listener." We asked my daughter why she didn't tell the teacher the computer was having problems and she said, " because I didn't want to talk back to the teacher."

 

Our daughter is a demure, hard working angel...no really! Just ask her other teachers. Outside of Catholic school she studies at Kumon (math and reading), studies piano, take voice lessons, studies ballet, gymnastics, tennis, trains in Judo and soccer and each and every teacher has praised her attentiveness and hard work. We are concerned about this "teacher's" labeling of our daughter and how it might become a self full-filling prophecy.

 

At this point, we are concerned that the teacher has become ego defensive and is trying to find instances however contrived that will bolster her position as being "right" in her assessment instead of taking the non-ego approach that is essential to being a competent trainer.

 

Do we as parents address the issue with the school principal and suffer the political fallout or should we just sit tight and hope for the best while waiting for third grade.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you're going to have her in school, she'll need to follow the teacher's instructions. Your dd being oh-so-smart doesn't mean she gets a free pass to ignore what the teacher tells her to do. Sorry. If that bothers you, you could try homeschooling. If you have time, that is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hate to be rude, but this smells like an attempt on the part of a troll to try and "get us going" here.

 

That is exactly what I was thinking, and why I posted as harshly as I did. Even the thread title is very odd. "Admonished teacher with agenda" -- what's up with that? :glare:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is exactly what I was thinking, and why I posted as harshly as I did. Even the thread title is very odd. "Admonished teacher with agenda" -- what's up with that? :glare:

Aaaaaauugh.

 

You most likely are correct. This is why I do not like to answer newbie posts due to this factor. Phooey. :glare:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Troll. Look at her other post which is nonsense.

 

The other post might not be nonsense. It means that Google Translate has Latin and Greek as some of the language options, and you can even utilize an audio feature. She may have been just trying to share a resource.

 

As to the first post, I know ps and private school families who have their kids doing hours of activities every night of the week. I don't agree with that, but it's true. Some of the TKD students in our school had piano lessons and another sport before TKD, three nights a week! And they'll have tutoring after. The rest of the week is just as over-full. Not my cup of tea, certainly, but it happens.

 

OP, if you are a sincere person sharing a true account, then I advise you to just be glad it's the last quarter of the year. Teach DD to suffer this one teacher, trying to do as she's told but gathering her own self-esteem and sense of worth from the more realistic perception and praise of other teachers in her life. One rotten second-grade teacher doesn't weigh much when figured against so many others who think she's the bee's knees. Don't let this become a big thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm going to give OP the benefit of the doubt, and my 2 cents.

 

If you have the resources to engage your child in so many extracurricular activities in addition to providing a private education you have many options. Here are a few off the top of my head:

 

-Talk to the teacher again, and if you do not meet with success go higher. You can request a new teacher within the school even. (Unless it is a too small for multiple classes at each grade level.

 

-Change schools if you cannot work with the current school.

 

-Hire a tutor and finish the year at home. Start at a new school next year.

 

-Homeschool using tutors.

 

-Homeschool.

 

-Leave it alone. If your child is getting lots of positive feedback in her extracurricular activities this teacher would have to be pretty out there to cause damage.

 

Whatever you do, beware of your personal blind-spots in your child's behavior and abilities. We all have them. I would check them first before doing any of the above because I would hate to get my knickers in a twist, ream someone out, and then realize I was the one in the wrong.

 

(I apply this philosophy to odd newbie posts as well. :D )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To those who think this is legit:

 

Why would she need tutoring at Kumon if she's reading at an 8th grade level and is at the top of her class in reading and math?

 

That was one of the first things that jumped out at me, too. It didn't make sense.

 

And it was a very odd first post to make at a homeschool forum. It doesn't make sense that she would join this particular forum if she had a legitimate question about a public school situation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She'd need tutoring because they cannot address that level within the classroom and make a special case for her?

 

Then one pauses and wonders who pegged her at 8th grade level reading and with what test as well.

 

If it were my shoes and this was an issue in class with my child, I'd listen to the complaint but paying for it...I'd expect a remediation plan, solution and concrete steps to solve the problem, not just laying on the floor and whining about it.

 

I'd be ticked right off red, white and blue.

 

Bring lawyers, money and guns.

 

But I'm like that. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To those who think this is legit:

 

Why would she need tutoring at Kumon if she's reading at an 8th grade level and is at the top of her class in reading and math?

 

I worked at a similar place before I had children. While the majority of our students were remedial, we had a surprising number of accelerated students.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP, it sounds like the teacher is frustrated with your dd not following directions. Starting work without being given permission to do so is a case of not listening and not following directions.

 

I think you may want to talk to the teacher again and point that while you are happy with your DD being confident, but agree she needs to follow directions that pertain to school work. The teacher may be going overboard with the "bad listener" crud, but from her perspective she has no parental support for a fairly reasonable issue she brought to your attention and is on her own to rectify it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am starting to sense theme of threads here. There's a whole lot of stirring going on ;)

 

Exactly my thought. Someone needs to find a new hobby.

 

FTR - I know accelerated kids that go to Kumon on occasion too. I still think this is a pretty gutsy post for a first visit on a homeschool board and I still smell troll.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Exactly my thought. Someone needs to find a new hobby.

 

FTR - I know accelerated kids that go to Kumon on occasion too. I still think this is a pretty gutsy post for a first visit on a homeschool board and I still smell troll.

 

:iagree:

 

If a regular poster had asked a similar question, I would have been far less suspicious, but a brand new poster, who doesn't homeschool, who has the Ultimate Perfect Child, and who titles her thread so strangely... Hello! Troll Alert!

 

There is way too much of this sort of thing going on here lately. :glare:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LMonkey

Firstly, I just a dad. Secondly, I don't wear kilts and don't expect to start wearing them anytime soon. Thirdly, I'm not a "troll" . That being said, I did post earlier in an abbreviated form about Google translate as I thought it might be useful for homeschoolers. I have posted to this group because my feeling was that readers of the "Well Trained Mind" would have some perspective that would be reasoned and thoughtful.

 

My daughter does do many different activities currently but that will be winnowed considerably as she grows older and must decides what she really likes doing and would like to become expert at.

 

Kumon is being taken simply to make certain that all "i's are dotted and t's are crossed" in learning the fundamental skills of reading, writing and arithmetic.

 

Homeschooling isn't an option for us but I am trying to cover as many bases as possible as outlined in "The Well Trained Mind."

 

Based upon some of the "hive intelligence" and my own conservative nature we will wait until we receive her report card tomorrow and go from there.

 

Thanks all who contributed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, it's a man. That explains a lot, my dh is a straightforward, bare bones type of communicator too. :)

 

OP (original poster), have you considered homeschooling for her? She sounds like she would benefit from the kind of intense, one-on-one learning experience that homeschooling provides.

 

ETA: Oops, I just reread, and realized homeschooling isn't an option for you. That's a shame. :(

Edited by Mamabegood
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As this is mainly a homeschool forum, most people are going to wonder why not just pull her out of school for (at least) the rest of the year and homeschool her.

 

If you wan the opinion of those who have mostly read TWTM and have kids in public/private school, head over to the afterschooling board. Those parents pretty much regularly deal with the school system. They may have more insight for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Firstly, I just a dad. Secondly, I don't wear kilts and don't expect to start wearing them anytime soon. Thirdly, I'm not a "troll" . That being said, I did post earlier in an abbreviated form about Google translate as I thought it might be useful for homeschoolers. I have posted to this group because my feeling was that readers of the "Well Trained Mind" would have some perspective that would be reasoned and thoughtful.

 

My daughter does do many different activities currently but that will be winnowed considerably as she grows older and must decides what she really likes doing and would like to become expert at.

 

Kumon is being taken simply to make certain that all "i's are dotted and t's are crossed" in learning the fundamental skills of reading, writing and arithmetic.

 

Homeschooling isn't an option for us but I am trying to cover as many bases as possible as outlined in "The Well Trained Mind."

 

Based upon some of the "hive intelligence" and my own conservative nature we will wait until we receive her report card tomorrow and go from there.

 

Thanks all who contributed.

1. Kilts make everything better. Really.

 

2. I had this problem, it's the reason we homeschool.

 

Try going to the principal, there might not be fall out, it might get handled well, there's always that chance ;) Otherwise, I hate to say it, but you need to teach your little girl to just do what she's been told to do, when she's been told to do it. This can (will) effect her later. She will know how to lower herself to the level expected and possibly end up lazy enough never to try reaching any higher. Sorry to sound so glum, but I've been there done that.

 

:grouphug:

 

Hope it works out for you. And I highly recommend you rethink your stance on kilts. Really.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To those who think this is legit:

 

Why would she need tutoring at Kumon if she's reading at an 8th grade level and is at the top of her class in reading and math?

This wouldn't be what gave me pause.

 

The vast majority of the children at our Kumon center are working above grade level. It isn't uncommon to see children working several grades or more above grade level. Their parents use Kumon to keep their child challenged, to help the child to move forward, and/ or to alleviate boredom, because for one reason or another homeschooling isn't an option and the child's educational needs are not being met in the classroom.

 

Mandy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I just a dad" and "must decides" really? Thank God for tutors I guess...

 

On second thought, if this is for real then the poor kid must be super exhausted! I couldn't keep up with that kind of schedule at any age! What about giving her a break and letting her be a kid :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Secondly, I don't wear kilts and don't expect to start wearing them anytime soon.

 

Well, there's the problem. I think kilt-wearing is a requirement for the Well-Trained Dads. ;)

 

(I hope you understand that's meant lightly. Welcome to the board. We won't really make you wear a kilt.)

 

My input: When my children are tired or overloaded, they act up. If your daughter is struggling with behavior in the classroom, it might be because she's doing too much. The number of activities you've listed, some of which are usually held more than once a week (soccer) or require daily practice (piano) is simply too much for a...7? 8? year-old. The winnowing should start now.

 

It's a lot easier to behave for the "fun" teachers. It is entirely possible that your daughter is a darling angel for her extracurricular teachers and acts out with her classroom teacher because that's where she spends the bulk of her time.

 

That's my not-so-humble opinion. ;)

 

Cat

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Really. :001_rolleyes:

 

My sentiments exactly.

 

I'm also wondering if this is a new identity of someone we already "know," because let's face it, how many newbies would ever think to mention the "hive intelligence" -- or even know what "the Hive" was.

 

Sorry, but I'm still not buying into this one. :glare:

 

My Troll-o-Meter is off-the-charts right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm also wondering if this is a new identity of someone we already "know," because let's face it, how many newbies would ever think to mention the "hive intelligence" -- or even know what "the Hive" was.

 

To be fair, it does say "The Well-Trained Mind Forums (aka Hive Mind)" at the top of the tool bar on my browser.

 

Rosie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LMonkey

I'm not pretending to be someone else or changing my identity. The " intelligence of hives " phrase wasn't coined here but it part of the cybernetic vernacular; glad to see it being used here though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...