Are you fulfilled by homeschooling?

[hsmomto5]

I am completely fulfilled by teaching my children. I left my job as a special care baby nurse 14 years ago. Although I did love that job nothing compares to being home and educating my children. I have graduated 2 and have 3 more to go. I cannot imagine what will come after they all graduate. My youngest is 9 so I have awhile!

 

Lora in NC

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[edelweiss]

Yes, I am fairly fulfilled by homeschooling. It is definitely exhausting, sometimes thankless, work, but I do feel like I'm doing the best thing for my children. It also helps that they really want to be homeschooled and do their best to be cooperative because they don't want our situation to change. I'm also grateful that DH is very supportive and appreciate of my efforts.

 

I had a great career before kids, but I was never fulfilled by it. I hope never to return to paid work again. I see no appeal in going back to having a career.

 

We are fortunate though in that we have a very comfortable income with just my husband working. I am able to buy whatever curriculum I want, as well as any extras too. It makes it easier to get through the drudgery of school when we are able to break it up with any field trips we want, etc. We also travel a lot as a family, so being able to takes numerous trips during the school year breaks up the monotony and makes homeschooling even more enjoyable.

Edited March 13, 2012 by edelweiss

[G5052]

I really relate to this. I felt very fulfilled when my children were small. Now they don't NEED me in the same way. I feel that my job is very important but I don't have the same zeal for homeschooling that I did years ago. I don't wait by the mailbox for homeschool catalogs to come in the spring. I don't love the planning anymore. I don't anticipate sending any of my children to school because I see so many benefits in continuing to homeschool. I just wish I had some of the passion I used to have.

 

In five or so years I'll be a "retired" homeschool mom. And I'm tired NOW. I used to be horrified when friends put their always homeschooled kids into the classroom. No longer. A number of our friends are doing it, putting their teens into public school or full-time dual enrollment. I'm not fond of either option, so we slog on and I do my best. Certainly every "career" has difficult periods, and summer is coming.

 

For me, local and online classes have helped. Online is lovely because they get people who have a passion for their subject, and I don't have to haul them there. That is a biggie for me.

[goldberry]

No, I don't feel fulfilled by homeschooling, but hsing isn't done for me but for the kids. I am happy, proud, and satisfied that I am doing my best for each of my kids. I also don't think my identity is based on homeschooling.

 

:iagree:

 

My original plans were to start back to school myself when my daughter was in school. When she was in 4th grade PS I was in my first year of college - after 20 years out of school! I loved it.

 

But it was becoming clear that DD was going to need something different. PS was not what was best for her.

 

I was disappointed...I really was looking forward to being in school again and working toward some of my own dreams. But I know I only have a certain amount of time with my DD. And when I decided to have a child, I was determined to give her what she needed from me.

 

I would not say I am "fulfilled" by homeschooling. But as PP said, I am happy, proud, and satisfied that I am doing my best for my kid.

 

My time will come!:001_smile:

[razorbackmama]

I was having this discussion with dh yesterday. We were at his office so he could take some pictures and show me the project he's been working on. I was really proud of him, (he and his partners have built this company from the ground up), and I could tell he was really proud of himself and his staff.

 

The weird thing is, I also felt jealous! Jealous that there is a whole aspect of his life that I don't know a lot about, but also jealous that he is fulfilled by what he does each day.

 

Do any of you feel fulfilled by homeschooling? I don't, and I know it is because I don't value what I do. It doesn't help that I don't get any outside validation, (other than from dh), for what I do. I know that shouldn't matter, and I know I should feel proud of what I do for my family each day, but how do I get there? How do I make myself value myself? Does that make sense to anyone?

In a word, no, I don't feel fulfilled. There is a WHOLE lot more baggage behind that answer, but you're not alone for sure.

[stripe]

I feel very conflicted about the whole stay at home thing. On the one hand, am I doing something important? On the other, are my doubts because there is some societal view that unpaid=unvalued that is disturbing me? I am not really sure. All I know is I hate working mother bashing.

 

The only intelligent discussion I've seen besides these forums, I've been recommending for almost two years! Here's an old post of mine from this thread:

 

I found this article by Sandra Tsing Loh, which is really a book review, to be a good read. The book she references (A Mother's Work: How Feminism, the Market, and Policy Shape Family Life) is a good one and covers a lot of fascinating ground. Especially with regard to the view that work is somehow liberating, except no one ever stops to ask what kind of work we're talking about. Loh's "riff" on this is funny.

 

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/...y-choice/6847/

[nukeswife]

I do, but then again I would feel fulfilled if I was just a Stay at home mom and my kids were in PS. I think it's because all I've ever wanted was to be able to be a mom who can stay home full time with her kids. I've never wished I could work outside the home.

[sassenach]

Yes and no. Homeschooling is a part of my life and I find my life as a whole fulfilling. I don't hang my fulfillment on the coat peg of homeschooling alone, though. On my list of priorities, homeschooling ranks very, very highly, but it isn't the only thing. I am a homeschooler, but I'm so much more than that. I'm not just a mom, not just a wife, not just a homeschooler, not just a Witch, not just a friend, not just an employee, not just a farmer, etc. etc. I think it helps to keep that in mind when one of those facets of my life isn't going well. In other words, don't let one facet of yourself define you completely.

 

I think that it is important to invest yourself in a variety of things, but keep your priorities in line, and invest most in those things that matter most. Homeschooling, like so many things in life, gives back what you put into it. If you're not investing in it, the returns seem negligible.

 

That said, we all go through periods where homeschooling is not fulfilling in its part. There are rough patches in everything, and you just have to find ways to get through them, or change them.

 

This perfectly sums up my thoughts.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've been thinking about this more as I go throughout my day and have some extra thoughts.

 

When my ds was first born, I was excited by the firsts of being a mom. It was all new and that provided a freshness to the experience that made it pop out at me.

 

When ds was a toddler and preschooler, there were more firsts and the joy of seeing him develop before my eyes.

 

When ds was in the primary grades everything he did was so cute. Plus the whole process of homeschooling was fresh and new.

 

Then we hit the intermediate grades. By this time I was reliving the early years with my dd while still trying to keep ds moving. Things weren't so fresh and it was starting to become hard work! I went through a pretty dry time during these years.

 

Now we are in high school and intermediate grades. The process of homeschooling isn't fresh anymore. My kids aren't so cute. The paperwork of high school is hard work and tedious. But now I'm starting to get interested in the actual content for myself. Yesterday we listened to a lecture on Plato. It was interesting! Now I want to find out more. Of course I care if ds understands it but now it's more about feeding my own love for knowledge.

[T'smom]

No. I don't feel fulfilled. I can see the value when I look at other SAHMs, but I can't see the value in my own family. I don't know why. I've been toying with the idea of getting a part-time job, so I've been scanning the ads every once in awhile. A couple weeks ago there was an ad to work in a home for developmentally delayed people who couldn't live on their own. And I thought "What an awesome job- you would be directly contributing to someone's quality of life. What could be better?" Then it occurred to me. That's what I'm supposed to be doing. I decided to be a SAHM/homeschooling mom to improve the quality of life for my family. Why isn't it the same thing?!?!?

 

I go to a mom's group (similar to MOPS) and another mom confessed that she worries that her speech-delayed twins are going to be more delayed because she's home with them instead of putting them in a daycare with other kids. I can see clearly that her kids are better off at home with her- why can I NOT see that my kids are better off with me? Well, I do believe it- I just don't feel it, I guess. I don't know.

[LMD]

But then I'm also happy and satisfied and challenged in other areas too. (Except for housework. I don't think the challenge of never getting it done counts as fulfilling. . . )

 

See, I just spent 2 days cleaning my house - maybe not fulfilling but gratifying for sure! NEVER thought I'd say that, my MIL would be proud :lol: It's still not 'european MIL clean' though...

 

I think that at this stage I do find homeschooling fulfilling - it's not the only thing that I find fulfilling though, I love my God, my marriage, my family, my music etc. Homeschooling challenges me and gives my days purpose.

I couldn't imagine being happier spending my days doing anything else realistic. I feel like homeschooling has benefitted me, it's allowed me to grow and develop good characteristics (and spotlighted the bad ones!), to learn, an opportunity to see things from a different perspective, to think about what is important to us (I doubt DH and I would have the same amazing conversations if I wasn't planning lessons on topic x,y,z).

I really look forward to schooling my children all the way through, even though we have our tough days - similarly I really look forward to the adults my children will become, even though some days in the parenting trenches are nothing but hard work.

[-M-]

Yes and no. Homeschooling is a part of my life and I find my life as a whole fulfilling. I don't hang my fulfillment on the coat peg of homeschooling alone, though. On my list of priorities, homeschooling ranks very, very highly, but it isn't the only thing. I am a homeschooler, but I'm so much more than that.

 

[snip]

 

I think that it is important to invest yourself in a variety of things, but keep your priorities in line, and invest most in those things that matter most. Homeschooling, like so many things in life, gives back what you put into it. If you're not investing in it, the returns seem negligible.

 

That said, we all go through periods where homeschooling is not fulfilling in its part. There are rough patches in everything, and you just have to find ways to get through them, or change them.

 

This. Thank you for saying it well.

[justamouse]

Does it fulfill me? Heck no. I do it because I refuse to sacrifice my children to the system. My *family* fulfills me, who they are, who we are together, but not the act of homeschooling. That's like asking if laundry fulfills me. :D Art, writing, making things and loving my family, church fulfills me.