misidawnrn Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 My dad is moving back home to his own house today which is a good thing. I have worked very hard over the last week to get him homehealth approved from the V.A. (veteran's affairs), randomly picked one of 3 agencies that provide home services, etc. I have let DD do her own work as already written in my planner and haven't had time to check it and thankfully she has been a big helper and just getting it done. Now, I have to work the next 4 days, 12 hour shifts, which is why I have spent HOURS on the phone getting it lined up. It was supposed to be at my home and dad wants to go home...more power to him. Well now 1. Home health won't come until his hoyer lift gets here because we told them he may need it to get in and out of shower. Mind you, we have been transferring well without it at my house with just me for 7 days! Last night and this morning he did almost the whole transfer alone with just me guiding him by his pants. HH won't listen to that as they have a hoyer lift mentioned, they want it. It is on order. (A hoyer lift buckels a person into a harness like seat and lifts mechanically for those who aren't familiar). 2. My dad is firing the HH agency because he didn't like the way to 2 women who came to interview him yesterday look. In his words "they don't look smart enough to be doing any interviews" :banghead: WTH? what does looks have anything to do with it? Steven Hawking isn't all that to look at and he is very smart so they say! My dad has always been like this...looks are everything, he wants the pretty waitress, the pretty nurse, etc...I have many, many issues related to this since I am NOT the prettiest sister. Anyways, I digress... 3. He is also mad that they won't furnish him with a stack of resumes to choose an aid from. No matter how many times I tell him, that isn't how healthcare works, he doesn't care. He wants to know if they are a single mom with one paycheck, working because they are going to school, yada yada yada... (and wants to know how cute they are! GAG!) Now, I have to work tomorrow, he is almost all moved out of my house except his bed and my BIL is coming in a few minutes to get that and he has NOBODY to get him up or put him to bed this weekend or ever for that matter!!! I told him I give up. I will miss work tomorrow (at the tune of 1/4 of my paycheck since I only work 4 days a paycheck!) to get him up but after that he is on his own. I gave him the numbers of the other 2 HH agencies and the caseworker from the VA that approves his hours and he can figure it out! OK, rant over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 :grouphug: My FIL is behaving in a similar manner of late, and I have been very grateful that dh's brother has been handling most of it. We live too far away to be of much help (although dh spent 7 weeks out there last fall taking care of his dad while his mom was in the hospital), but FIL and BIL both call up dh to complain about each other and the health care situation(s). It's enough to make me want to tear out my hair, and I'm not even living in the middle of it. I can only imagine how frustrated you must be! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Perhaps you could explain to him that what their personal backgrounds may be is against the law to enquire about? It wouldn't be on their resume...And, it's likely a breach of privacy for the agency to provide that to him as well. Taking the legal aspect may get him to comply. You could also point out that judging by looks is discrimination, and could get him w/either no services, or potential legal hot water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 :grouphug: It can be very difficult in these situations. We went thru something similiar with my father before he passed away. Home health that my brother and I thought were amazing - he would fire them. Finally, I had to just walk away. I would still visit with him on a regular basis, but he had to make all of his arrangements for assistance himself. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKidAcademy Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 :grouphug:It can be very difficult in these situations. We went thru something similiar with my father before he passed away. Home health that my brother and I thought were amazing - he would fire them. Finally, I had to just walk away. I would still visit with him on a regular basis, but he had to make all of his arrangements for assistance himself. :grouphug: This is exactly what I told him he needed to do. Tonight, we got him moved in and I had to leave to go get DD-8 from a playdate. I told him I would be back in about an hour to bring him food and check on him and would also then come back when he wanted to go to bed. I brought him food and he said "never mind, the neighbor brought me some." OK. I asked when he wanted to go to bed. "Neighbor is going to do it." She is a CNA so good deal. I asked when he wants to get up in the morning...remember, I have already called off for work in order to get him up since HH canceled. "I will call if I need you." UGH. I give up. I am sure he is now telling his friends and neighbor how I abandoned him, didn't have time for him, thought he was a burden, etc. Totally not true! He wanted and insisted on going home which I was supportive of IF we had HH lined up for him, which we arrainged. He can do it himself from now on. I guess I have to live with not being the "perfect" daughter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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