swellmomma Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Lol Joanne. Men will be men. :lol: He has been too busy creating wiki and teacing infants to read to learn to read a post completely ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 My friend's DH is a scout leader, and my friend says that this kind if thing is totally not allowed in their troop. If a child was talking about double pen. , he would be EXPELLED from the troop. Because they have strict rules in their troop, they have VERY little problems with discipline and inappropriate language/bullying/unkind words. Ditto. I'm not sure about being expelled, but my son is in an LDS BS troop. This sort of talk would NOT be tolerated. Starting at a young age, in Church and in the troop, respect for girls and women is empasized, bad and/ or sexual talk is prohibited, cursing is very discouraged for kids and adults. The expectation of good behavior and consequences for bad behavior work a majority of the time. I'm sure it isn't a perfect system, but it works quite a bit.. Saying boys will be boys does not work. I would not leave my son in the troop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awisha. Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 S@x is good. It is what we are (partly) made for. This kid told your son about something that can be really good. In the right context, with the right person. [/Quote]:001_huh: You do know that double pen is TWO things in ONE hole right!?!? I don't know if it has been mentioned yet, but I saw that part and went "Whaaaaaaaat!!!" Pretty in pink (love that movie btw), you should be so proud to still have a mummys boy, I hope my ds is still like that when he is older. It sounds like the scout group dynamic is very... Odd??? Why is a 13 year old even knowing about extreme s* x acts?!?! I would be looking for a new troop yesterday. I'm sorry I have no good advice for you, my mind is utterly blown with what 13 year olds are getting up to these days... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I'd be more upset about the f*ggot word being thrown around than I would the penetr*tion discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amey311 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 :001_huh: You do know that double pen is TWO things in ONE hole right!?!? I don't know if it has been mentioned yet, but I saw that part and went "Whaaaaaaaat!!!" Not necessarily. It could also be one thing in two different places. /threadjack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awisha. Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Not necessarily. It could also be one thing in two different places. /threadjack Whatever it is called, it is still gross. And in reply to another post, I do agree that saying racist and homophobic things is 100% unacceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Wait, I thought it was two different things, (two males) in two different places in one woman? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Ugh. This happened Tuesday night and I'm still fuming about it. I haven't done anything about it yet because I am trying to gain my composure, but everytime I think about this I just get so **** angry I could spit nails. Dh took ds to scouts on Tuesday night. When they got home ds took me aside to tell me that something "really awful" had happened at scouts. I eventually coaxed out of him what the awful thing was: one of the boys was spouting off and swearing, calling another boy a f*ggot (not unusual, unfortunately) and then he made a joke about...uh...double p*netration.....:blink::blink::blink: My ds was very upset about what he had heard. I mean, wow. I am dumbfounded. They are 13 years old. I generally consider myself fairly open-minded and think that I have realistic expectations about typical adolescent behavior. I don't even know why I'm posting this here. I just need a sounding board, I suppose. My dh won't even discuss the issue with me, and in fact was aggravated that ds had even told me about it, so I'm not sure how he wants to proceed. I want to pull ds from this troop. Thanks for reading/letting me vent. ETA: I talked to dh and apologized for being a turd. While I am still upset that my 13yo is now aware of that particular physical act, I am grateful that he was confident enought to bring it to the attention of Scout Master and comfortable enough to share the details with us. Dh said that he is planning to discuss this at next week's meeting and suggest that the boys, as a group, be reminded of what is and is not acceptable. Dh made a good point: we are moving in a few months and will be getting a new troop at that time. Ds has a few friends in this troop and enjoys that aspect very much. Thanks for the input here, ladies. It is so helpful to hear different perspectives. This is very normal in the 13 year old boy world today. Kids are hideous. My son learned about masterb*tion and r*pe at a sleepover, after the Dad, who was watching a movie with them, went to bed. He was 11 and this was another Christian homeschooler who had no computer access, even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 This is very normal in the 13 year old boy world today. Kids are hideous. My son learned about masterb*tion and r*pe at a sleepover, after the Dad, who was watching a movie with them, went to bed. He was 11 and this was another Christian homeschooler who had no computer access, even. I hate sleep overs so much for carp like that. It has me wondering too how many parents stay up until their kids are asleep no matter how late. I do with my kids, and when I went to the scout sleepover last weekend, my oldest and 1 other boy were awake until 3am, not making noise or anything but awake so I stayed up reading quietly. All the other leaders and parents in our area were asleep and there I was reading. I was also the first one up before the boys were (yeah I am still making up for lost sleep from that night). I wanted to be sure no one was up with out an available adult just in case. I got a lot of reading done that night. It makes me wonder if I am the odd duck out that does that, or if other parents stay up until everyone including their teens are asleep. I would never go to sleep with other people's children here still awake, but even home with just my own. Once the kids are all asleep I make the rounds checking each kid, the locks, the windows, the thermostat, lights etc and then finally head to bed content that the house and everyone in it is safe and sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 think female, 2 phallic objects, 2 entrances at the same time. Not something that any 13 year old should know about imo. That's what I thought it was. (ugh). NO 13 year old should know about this. I shouldn't know about this. I can't believe the repeated comments that I've read that this seems to be ok to talk about but somebody better get ON that "faggot" comment. Both are reprehensible. One is not worse than the other. Inappropriate comments and inappropriate context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorrainejmc Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 This is very normal in the 13 year old boy world today. Kids are hideous. My son learned about masterb*tion and r*pe at a sleepover, after the Dad, who was watching a movie with them, went to bed. He was 11 and this was another Christian homeschooler who had no computer access, even. This is why I don't do sleep overs. I heard way more than I should have at a sleep over, before anyone had computers. The head of the family was a church elder, of course.:glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I hate sleep overs so much for carp like that. It has me wondering too how many parents stay up until their kids are asleep no matter how late. I do with my kids, and when I went to the scout sleepover last weekend, my oldest and 1 other boy were awake until 3am, not making noise or anything but awake so I stayed up reading quietly. All the other leaders and parents in our area were asleep and there I was reading. I was also the first one up before the boys were (yeah I am still making up for lost sleep from that night). I wanted to be sure no one was up with out an available adult just in case. I got a lot of reading done that night. It makes me wonder if I am the odd duck out that does that, or if other parents stay up until everyone including their teens are asleep. I would never go to sleep with other people's children here still awake, but even home with just my own. Once the kids are all asleep I make the rounds checking each kid, the locks, the windows, the thermostat, lights etc and then finally head to bed content that the house and everyone in it is safe and sound. Me either! Although we have rarely had sleepovers since the event in question. Only with one trusted friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 This is very normal in the 13 year old boy world today. Kids are hideous. My son learned about masterb*tion and r*pe at a sleepover, after the Dad, who was watching a movie with them, went to bed. He was 11 and this was another Christian homeschooler who had no computer access, even. Kids are hideous? Is this actually your perspective? I think kids are great, even those who know phrases like "double penetration". I think kids are creative, loyal, cuddly, sarcastic, interesting, spontaneous, and, for the most part, wanting to be loved, respected, and cared for. Hideous? All of my kids knew about masterbation and rape by 11. Masterbation because, well, it is enjoyable and there is no reason to *not* know. The other because they need to know about rape in order to build information they need to build layers of protection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 All of my kids knew about masterbation and rape by 11. Masterbation because, well, it is enjoyable and there is no reason to *not* know. The other because they need to know about rape in order to build information they need to build layers of protection. OT but seriously?? How on earth did you bring that up? "Kids, there is this activity called Masturbation, and it is when you do x y an z, and it is fine to do, but we do it in private." How do you SAY THAT?? :confused: :bigear: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 That's what I thought it was. (ugh). NO 13 year old should know about this. I shouldn't know about this. I can't believe the repeated comments that I've read that this seems to be ok to talk about but somebody better get ON that "faggot" comment. Both are reprehensible. One is not worse than the other. Inappropriate comments and inappropriate context. The term faggot is derogatory in and of itself. It can somewhat accurately be compared to the use of the "n" word. Both are used to denigrate a person's being/core/self. Using a derogatory term to slam another human being by calling them the derogatory term IS worse than using a sexual term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 OT but seriously?? How on earth did you bring that up? "Kids, there is this activity called Masturbation, and it is when you do x y an z, and it is fine to do, but we do it in private." How do you SAY THAT?? :confused: :bigear: A lot of children touch themselves. Sometimes when other people are around. These children are usually told by someone not to do it in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) NM Edited March 9, 2012 by MegP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 OT but seriously?? How on earth did you bring that up? "Kids, there is this activity called Masturbation, and it is when you do x y an z, and it is fine to do, but we do it in private." How do you SAY THAT?? :confused: :bigear: Kids touch themselves. They touch themselves from birth. Moving towards calling it masturbation was a natural process as they got older. :confused: Touching their bodies was not a new idea, and they knew from toddlerhood doing so was a private event. Nonetheless, I'm baffled at your thinking there is something inherently wrong with saying some form of your quote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicMom Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I would be horrified! :mad: Being Christians, I would never put my kids in boy scouts or girl scouts to begin with, for this reason (being around who-knows-who kids, a lot of whom are from public schools are are more immoral, saying who-knows-what). The risk is too great. I'm impressed that your son told you about it and he should be commended. I would take him out in a heartbeat. Not worth another 5 minutes with "filthy mouth kid." You can't trust kids as far as you can throw em, so it's a parents' duty (if you care about what goes in their minds) to be VERY wary of sleepovers, chatting in the dug-out, camping trips, basically any talking behind closed doors. I am horrified at how many parents think that 13 yr olds "already know" about these "topics" and how many parents think name-calling is WORSE than serious talk of sexual impurity. Which provides more temptation to think on filthy things, or to sin? Which gives (a 13 yr old boy, for crying out loud!) a clearer "mental image"? I don't care to have a big argument about it, but I just thought I'd represent the ultra-conservative Christian parents who think protecting your kid's mind is of utmost importance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Kids touch themselves. They touch themselves from birth. Moving towards calling it masturbation was a natural process as they got older. :confused: Touching their bodies was not a new idea, and they knew from toddlerhood doing so was a private event. Nonetheless, I'm baffled at your thinking there is something inherently wrong with saying some form of your quote. No, I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all! I guess I wish I had brought this up with my kids years ago. It is not so easy to bring up with older kids. I am kind of shy about talking about this kind of thing. I wasn't being critical at all. Sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssavings Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I think (granted, I don't have teenagers yet, so the proverbial grain of salt applies) that I'd talk to DC before deciding to take him out. I don't think the talk is appropriate at all, and SOMETHING (taking him out, changing troops, talking to the scoutleader, etc.) should be done. I'd just involve DC in the decision 1) because he showed a lot of maturity when coming to you and 2) so he doesn't feel like telling you the truth caused him to be forced to leave his group without any discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I would be horrified! :mad: Being Christians, I would never put my kids in boy scouts or girl scouts to begin with, for this reason (being around who-knows-who kids, a lot of whom are from public schools are are more immoral, saying who-knows-what). The risk is too great. I'm impressed that your son told you about it and he should be commended. I would take him out in a heartbeat. Not worth another 5 minutes with "filthy mouth kid." You can't trust kids as far as you can throw em, so it's a parents' duty (if you care about what goes in their minds) to be VERY wary of sleepovers, chatting in the dug-out, camping trips, basically any talking behind closed doors. I am horrified at how many parents think that 13 yr olds "already know" about these "topics" and how many parents think name-calling is WORSE than serious talk of sexual impurity. Which provides more temptation to think on filthy things, or to sin? Which gives (a 13 yr old boy, for crying out loud!) a clearer "mental image"? I don't care to have a big argument about it, but I just thought I'd represent the ultra-conservative Christian parents who think protecting your kid's mind is of utmost importance. Wow. This perspective is so extreme that it is nearly a caricature for homeschoolers. But, just in case, yes name calling a person a "faggot" is beyond worse than possible "sexual impurity." And, frankly, the phrase used could be an act between a married heterosexual couple who are alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I would be horrified! :mad: Being Christians, I would never put my kids in boy scouts or girl scouts to begin with, for this reason (being around who-knows-who kids, a lot of whom are from public schools are are more immoral, saying who-knows-what). The risk is too great. I'm impressed that your son told you about it and he should be commended. I would take him out in a heartbeat. Not worth another 5 minutes with "filthy mouth kid." You can't trust kids as far as you can throw em, so it's a parents' duty (if you care about what goes in their minds) to be VERY wary of sleepovers, chatting in the dug-out, camping trips, basically any talking behind closed doors. I am horrified at how many parents think that 13 yr olds "already know" about these "topics" and how many parents think name-calling is WORSE than serious talk of sexual impurity. Which provides more temptation to think on filthy things, or to sin? Which gives (a 13 yr old boy, for crying out loud!) a clearer "mental image"? I don't care to have a big argument about it, but I just thought I'd represent the ultra-conservative Christian parents who think protecting your kid's mind is of utmost importance. WOW! There is so much here that is leaves me scratching my head. For instance, do you really believe that Kids from public schools are immoral? Really? And you know this HOW?! So do you keep your kids away from ALL children, because as has been outlined above, "even Christian homeschooled kids with no internet access" are not above discussion sex. It sure is sad that you feel you can't trust kids as far as you can throw them. If your kids are so pure and godly, are they not trustworthy? I guess it's a good thing that you wouldn't want your kids around mine, because I certainly wouldn't want these views expressed to my child. astrid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Joanne: Kids are hideous? Is this actually your perspective? I think kids are great, even those who know phrases like "double penetration". I think kids are creative, loyal, cuddly, sarcastic, interesting, spontaneous, and, for the most part, wanting to be loved, respected, and cared for. Hideous? Kids ARE hideous to OTHER KIDS in public school settings/sports settings, etc. I regret that my failure to spell it all out specifically left an erroneous impression. They say mean things, ridicule others, act like jerks, make sex jokes in the locker room, touch or bully other kids, make fun of other kids' size/shape. They don't have to do this. It seems to be directly correlated to how oblivious the parent is to their behavior, I have noted. I watched one 10 feet away right in front of me loudly ridicule another teammate at an awards ceremony just this week; his mother was sitting there and did NOTHING. But...some kids ARE great. These kids are hard to find but they are out there. All of my kids knew about masterbation and rape by 11. Masterbation because, well, it is enjoyable and there is no reason to *not* know. You must be so proud. Mine did not, I'm happy to say. He was pretty innocent - until the sleepover I mentioned. Fortunately, the other mother was as horrified as I was and both of us immediately knew the source - a third kid we were both acquainted with, with whom her son spent time. The other because they need to know about rape in order to build information they need to build layers of protection. Your kid knew sex jokes about rape and what "double penetration" was? Or just basic info on how kids can be sexually molested and what/who to avoid and how/when to tell. Mine only knew the latter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicMom Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 WOW! There is so much here that is leaves me scratching my head. For instance, do you really believe that Kids from public schools are immoral? Really? And you know this HOW?! So do you keep your kids away from ALL children, because as has been outlined above, "even Christian homeschooled kids with no internet access" are not above discussion sex. It sure is sad that you feel you can't trust kids as far as you can throw them. If your kids are so pure and godly, are they not trustworthy? I guess it's a good thing that you wouldn't want your kids around mine, because I certainly wouldn't want these views expressed to my child. astrid You made some logical leaps here. I said public school kids are "more immoral," meaning they are on average more immoral than homeschoolers, especially as they get older, yes. Concerns about children losing their innocence, being teased, etc, etc, is very commonly cited by parents as a reason for homeschooling. I do trust MY kids, but I don't trust other peoples' kids. I don't keep my kids away from all kids... They play with other kids, do group activities with other kids, we have kids who visit our house, but I don't let them sit and chat behind closed doors. The fact that my kids are trustworthy doesn't keep someone else's kid from informing my kid about whatever they see fit. That's what other parents should think about my kids, too. You can't just trust that the other kids aren't going to talk about very inappropriate things if you're not around. That's why you stay around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Using a derogatory term to slam another human being by calling them the derogatory term IS worse than using a sexual term. I don't know how many locker rooms you've been around, but the F term is used regularly, to put others down. It is no reflection on the sexuality of the person - heck, they don't even know much about this as early as the name-calling starts (like 8). Except your kids, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 And, frankly, the phrase used could be an act between a married heterosexual couple who are alone. No, I believe they'd need a third person for that. Or long arms and implements...ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 You made some logical leaps here. I said public school kids are "more immoral," meaning they are on average more immoral than homeschoolers, especially as they get older, yes. Concerns about children losing their innocence, being teased, etc, etc, is very commonly cited by parents as a reason for homeschooling. I do trust MY kids, but I don't trust other peoples' kids. I don't keep my kids away from all kids... They play with other kids, do group activities with other kids, we have kids who visit our house, but I don't let them sit and chat behind closed doors. The fact that my kids are trustworthy doesn't keep someone else's kid from informing my kid about whatever they see fit. That's what other parents should think about my kids, too. You can't just trust that the other kids aren't going to talk about very inappropriate things if you're not around. That's why you stay around. And again I ask, you know this HOW?! That's a very stereotypical statement. I can't trust that I"m not going to be hit by a bus when I walk down the sidewalk, but I do walk on the sidewalk. I can't trust that some kid won't offer my daughter drugs at high school, but I'm secure in the knowledge that she knows enough to say no and discuss it with me. I wish you lots of luck insulating your children from all that you deem immoral, indecent and all who don't measure up to your standards. Again, I find myself finding less and less in common with Christians if this is the pervasive belief. Sad. astrid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyK Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I don't know how many locker rooms you've been around, but the F term is used regularly, to put others down. It is no reflection on the sexuality of the person - heck, they don't even know much about this as early as the name-calling starts (like 8). Except your kids, I guess. I think this must vary by locale, but I have 2 boys both over 8 and they report that they don't hear that "regularly". In fact when I asked them they were appalled that people would think this was OK. And they've both been in public school. On the sexual impurity issue, I can't think of anything worse than the sexual molestation of a child, but both my kids know about that issue. In fact, it is required when you join scouts that you discuss this with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Ugh. This happened Tuesday night and I'm still fuming about it. I haven't done anything about it yet because I am trying to gain my composure, but everytime I think about this I just get so **** angry I could spit nails. Dh took ds to scouts on Tuesday night. When they got home ds took me aside to tell me that something "really awful" had happened at scouts. I eventually coaxed out of him what the awful thing was: one of the boys was spouting off and swearing, calling another boy a f*ggot (not unusual, unfortunately) and then he made a joke about...uh...double p*netration.....:blink::blink::blink: My ds was very upset about what he had heard. I mean, wow. I am dumbfounded. They are 13 years old. I generally consider myself fairly open-minded and think that I have realistic expectations about typical adolescent behavior. I don't even know why I'm posting this here. I just need a sounding board, I suppose. My dh won't even discuss the issue with me, and in fact was aggravated that ds had even told me about it, so I'm not sure how he wants to proceed. I want to pull ds from this troop. Thanks for reading/letting me vent. ETA: I talked to dh and apologized for being a turd. While I am still upset that my 13yo is now aware of that particular physical act, I am grateful that he was confident enought to bring it to the attention of Scout Master and comfortable enough to share the details with us. Dh said that he is planning to discuss this at next week's meeting and suggest that the boys, as a group, be reminded of what is and is not acceptable. Dh made a good point: we are moving in a few months and will be getting a new troop at that time. Ds has a few friends in this troop and enjoys that aspect very much. Thanks for the input here, ladies. It is so helpful to hear different perspectives. :glare: That is very frustrating and disheartening. We have a problem with the crude and s@xual talk in my son's troop as well, boys showing off you know. :glare: Feel your pain. Our scoutmaster had a talk with the boys about such awful speech but apparently it is time for him to revisit that topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 You must be so proud. Mine did not, I'm happy to say. He was pretty innocent - until the sleepover I mentioned. Fortunately, the other mother was as horrified as I was and both of us immediately knew the source - a third kid we were both acquainted with, with whom her son spent time. Your kid knew sex jokes about rape and what "double penetration" was? Or just basic info on how kids can be sexually molested and what/who to avoid and how/when to tell. Mine only knew the latter. I don't know how many locker rooms you've been around, but the F term is used regularly, to put others down. It is no reflection on the sexuality of the person - heck, they don't even know much about this as early as the name-calling starts (like 8). Except your kids, I guess. Stop the snark. (bolded comments above) Using derivatives of gay as a put down insults on many levels. Using a derogatory name FOR gay towards another human being is abhorant. I think it's interesting that you are arguing with me about it; I am against the behavior of the children in question. And, yes, they do know what it means when they use it for the most part. They just don't value being kind and safe towards homosexuals. They see it as a non-issue. Maybe you just want to get personal and snarky with me? And, yes, my kids knew what rape was. I don't think we've ever had a conversation about double penetration, but it would not upset me or freak me out, or weird me out if we needed to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I think this must vary by locale, but I have 2 boys both over 8 and they report that they don't hear that "regularly". In fact when I asked them they were appalled that people would think this was OK. And they've both been in public school. On the sexual impurity issue, I can't think of anything worse than the sexual molestation of a child, but both my kids know about that issue. In fact, it is required when you join scouts that you discuss this with them. Scouts have some of the best material for this purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yes, Boy scouts has a really well done movie that all scouts are required to watch each year about sexual abuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 All of my kids knew about masterbation and rape by 11. Masterbation because, well, it is enjoyable and there is no reason to *not* know. The other because they need to know about rape in order to build information they need to build layers of protection. Joanne: Using derivatives of gay as a put down insults on many levels. Using a derogatory name FOR gay towards another human being is abhorant. No more abhorrent than talking about double penetration. I think it's interesting that you are arguing with me about it; I am against the behavior of the children in question. That's good to know. I can't figure out how you are arguing with me about this. And, yes, they do know what it means when they use it for the most part. They just don't value being kind and safe towards homosexuals. They see it as a non-issue. You aren't getting that they don't value being kind and safe toward other kids PERIOD. Hence, all the garbage. The gay thing is just another thing in a long line for which a kid will be mocked and ridiculed. You were the one nearly bragging that "all my kids knew about this at an early age", hence, my comment "Except your kids" in discussing how it starts so early it isn't even about any sort of sexual behavior. I personally don't think that's a great thing. Others apparently think it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 You must be so proud. Wow. :001_huh: astrid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 No more abhorrent than talking about double penetration. . Insulting a person by calling them a derogatory name used to put-down a group of people is more abhorrent than using a graphic sexual term. That seems quite obvious to me. I feel the same way about the "n" word, which was also mentioned as being used. I'm going to ask you, again, to stop being deliberately provocative, snarky, and personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 OT but seriously?? How on earth did you bring that up? "Kids, there is this activity called Masturbation, and it is when you do x y an z, and it is fine to do, but we do it in private." How do you SAY THAT?? :confused: :bigear: By talking about it in context from infancy. I knew my son had absorbed some of it, because at age 5 he suddenly chimed from the back seat: I'm opposed to rape! I replied, "so am I!" I am funny about the word masturbation. It is an ugly word. It just sounds ugly. It would sound ugly if it was the name of the cutest cream pie in history. So, I use "touching themselves sexually" or "frotteurism". Since I see a lot of this at work, it can actually be part of natural conversation in my house. I've also told my son about the silly people who show their parts (my Victorian mother even told me about this, so I could have a pat answer, e.g. "Won't you catch cold?" with a laugh, which works very well to make them disappear.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I am horrified at how many parents think that 13 yr olds "already know" about these "topics" and how many parents think name-calling is WORSE than serious talk of sexual impurity. Which provides more temptation to think on filthy things, or to sin? Which gives (a 13 yr old boy, for crying out loud!) a clearer "mental image"? Name-calling gives a child an opportunity to learn to bully and grow up to be a Brown Shirt. There is more to sin than sex. I choose not to give sex such a powerful status in my life that I'm "horrified" at the mention of it. It is giving it MORE power than it should have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Name-calling gives a child an opportunity to learn to bully and grow up to be a Brown Shirt. There is more to sin than sex. I choose not to give sex such a powerful status in my life that I'm "horrified" at the mention of it. It is giving it MORE power than it should have. :iagree: YES. astrid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Why not? They will. They won't be girls and you shouldn't make them be like girls. By no means am I defending the bad behavior of those misbehaving scouts, who I would insist be punished. But this is a good time to remind folks that boys have particular requirements and have to be understood on their own terms. :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: "Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention." I've heard some very raunchy talk from woman. Some of the raunchiest is from nurses. Larry, baby, I could make your hair curl. All the way down to the college roommate who brought home various men, got up in the morning, and sat at the table and critiqued their performance in a loud enough voice I'm sure the guys heard. Her middle aged mother came for a visit and was WORSE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Wait, I thought it was two different things, (two males) in two different places in one woman? Someone want to put up a poll? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Someone want to put up a poll? ;) As long as it has option 3. It is both. I think most take it to mean 2 men 1 woman in separate "entrances" But it also refers to 2 men using the same "entrance". It means both. WHich for the purposes of this discussion doesn't really matter, the concern was these are barely teens that are discussing it. Regardless of which way they mean it is still inappropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrySanger Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Coming back to add that the "boys will be boys" excuse has been used to excuse/forgive many forms of aggression, sexual assaults, bullying, and verbal taunting. So a truism has been misused. Shame on those who did so. That doesn't make it any less a truism. I'm going to keep using it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegP Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I am still shocked that some people think it is good to tell 5 year olds what rape is. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treestarfae Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I just wanted to :lol: at the fact this thread is tagged with Poe's Law. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicMom Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) Name-calling gives a child an opportunity to learn to bully and grow up to be a Brown Shirt. There is more to sin than sex. I choose not to give sex such a powerful status in my life that I'm "horrified" at the mention of it. It is giving it MORE power than it should have. Clearly we have completely different worldviews and so it's silly to argue about what status sex should have in our lives unless we came to an agreement on where and how we find truth. ETA: It's another logical leap to assert that I am horrified by the mention of sex in general. Of course, there's a time and there's a place and there's a way we can talk about sex and its role in our lives, and I'm not horrified at all by talking about it in the right context and, in terms of kids, at an appropriate age. And of course I want to clarify that I think it's terrible and sinful to try to humiliate someone by calling them names. But as far as the harm that can come to a child who is a bystander, I think hearing the explicit talk about sex acts is more harmful to him as a person than hearing the name-calling, but both are really bad. But, seriously, like I said, it's silly to even discuss which is worse when we probably don't agree on where and how we come to know the Truth. Edited March 9, 2012 by TaraJo29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Clearly we have completely different worldviews and so it's silly to argue about what status sex should have in our lives unless we came to an agreement on where and how we find truth. Indeed. I consider Brown Shirts much more scary than nookie, and I'm positive I got this from my parents, whose adventures included sneaking out of Nazi Germany while my mother was pregnant, and giving birth on a freighter in bad seas 3 days later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Indeed. I consider Brown Shirts much more scary than nookie, and I'm positive I got this from my parents, whose adventures included sneaking out of Nazi Germany while my mother was pregnant, and giving birth on a freighter in bad seas 3 days later. Well! It was nookie that got her into that predicament, now, wasn't it? :D (Not in any way making light of your parents' plight in Nazi Germany. Just couldn't resist drawing the parallel between nookie and giving birth on a freighter in bad seas. astrid (it's late...forgive my humor..) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Well! It was nookie that got her into that predicament, now, wasn't it? :D(Not in any way making light of your parents' plight in Nazi Germany. Just couldn't resist drawing the parallel between nookie and giving birth on a freighter in bad seas. astrid (it's late...forgive my humor..) Once, when I was a kid, we were driving by a field full of cows. There was a mom cow with a pair of calfs nursing to beat the band, and the cow had her head thrown back and bellowing. My mother rolled down the window and yelled out: That'll learn you!! :lol: I miss my mother. She called those plastic rings around 6 packs "hog brassieres" and called bOOks "lungwarts". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Once, when I was a kid, we were driving by a field full of cows. There was a mom cow with a pair of calfs nursing to beat the band, and the cow had her head thrown back and bellowing. My mother rolled down the window and yelled out: That'll learn you!! :lol::lol::lol: I think my giggling at this woke up dh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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