Chain Letter Situation--What Would You Do?

[Mrs Twain]

DD got a chain letter from one of her best friends.

I hate chain letters and mostly just disregard them.

However, this letter is from a special friend, and it says that we need to inform the sender if we are not going to participate because it will mess the whole thing up for all of the other kids.

 

What should we do? I am tempted to just buy my daughter's friend a bunch of the things that she is expecting to receive in the mail and not send out any letters. Dh just says to ignore the chain letter and throw it away.

 

I want my dd to have special friends, but I really don't like the whole principle of chain letters.

 

Is there any good way to get rid of this chain letter problem in a nice way?

 

If you voted for telling friend (in a polite way) we don't do chain letters, please share an example of how you might word that.

 

Thanks!

Edited March 8, 2012 by Mrs Twain

[fraidycat]

I would just inform the sender that my family does not participate in chain letters so she can send it on to someone else if she wants.

[DawnM]

I have never heard of the end result actually being what they think it will be. I hate chain letters.

 

Dawn

[mumto2]

Is it one with stickers?

 

Dd got one. To make it worse we knew the friend before the friend. Anyway we did it. I felt guilty. I doubt anyone received stickers because dd didn't.

 

I would not bother again!!!

[*Lulu*]

It depends on the age of DD.

 

If she is younger, I would have/help her write a letter to the friend stating that she won't be doing the chain letter, but thanks for thinking of me, yada, yada, yada......

 

If she is older, and you do not find the situation to be risky in any way, I would allow her to make up her own mind. Lay out for her what you do not like about chain letters, and the responses you've detailed above. Even if she participates and it is a total flop it will not be a wasted life lesson.

[Jenny in Florida]

I voted for saying something polite.

 

I think I'd talk to the parents, saying something like, "Hey, My Little Darling got a chain letter from Your Little Darling. We don't want to hurt Your Little Darling's feelings, but I wanted to let you know that we don't participate in those kinds of things. Now, how about some of this yummy bean dip?"

[maddykate]

I voted to just toss the letter, which is what I would probably do, but if you feel compelled to explain to the friend, you can tell her that you wanted her to know that your family doesn't participate in those kinds of things. You might make the suggestion that she can send another letter to a different friend so the chain won't be broken.

 

I hate chain letters...I am still waiting for my dish towels to arrive from 1997!

[ThisIsTheDay]

If you voted for telling friend (in a polite way) we don't do chain letters, please share an example of how you might word that.

 

I didn't vote "polite," because I can only think of two alternatives:

 

1) "We don't do stickers, ya little creep! Don't send my kid stuff like this again!"

 

2) "I'm sorry, we don't participate in chain letters. I wanted you to know so you can send it to someone else if you'd like."

 

Choose something along the lines of #2.

 

:D

[Mrs Twain]

I hate chain letters...I am still waiting for my dish towels to arrive from 1997!

 

I didn't vote "polite," because I can only think of two alternatives:

 

1) "We don't do stickers, ya little creep! Don't send my kid stuff like this again!"

 

2) "I'm sorry, we don't participate in chain letters. I wanted you to know so you can send it to someone else if you'd like."

 

Choose something along the lines of #2.

 

:D

 

:lol:

[Zebra]

Because it's a kid and because it's a friend, I would try to be as nice as possible and tell them your family doesn't do chain letters. I would also say that you are trying to be nice so you don't mess up the whole thing, before they get mad at you for not participating.

[KungFuPanda]

Ignore it. Everyone else will and nothing will come of it. It's a life lesson for the originator. If asked about it later, just shrug and say " Oh, I didn't know anyone ever responded to those."

[beaners]

I still feel a little guilty that my mom wouldn't let me send on a chain letter from a friend in elementary school. Wow, that was a long time ago! Maybe all the people that keep sending me chain e-mails and asking me to repost things on Facebook had the same experience, and now they are trying to soothe that guilt. :lol:

[Mrs Twain]

Is it one with stickers?

 

Dd got one. To make it worse we knew the friend before the friend. Anyway we did it. I felt guilty. I doubt anyone received stickers because dd didn't.

 

I would not bother again!!!

 

Yes, it is the one with the stickers.

I guess I shouldn't get any stickers for the friend. If I do, it may encourage her to send more chain letters!

[angela in ohio]

"I'm sorry, we don't participate in chain letters. I wanted you to know so you can send it to someone else if you'd like."

 

This is how we have handled it.

[Twigs]

Yes, it is the one with the stickers.

I guess I shouldn't get any stickers for the friend. If I do, it may encourage her to send more chain letters!

 

:iagree:

[Angel]

I don't really see the sticker thing as "chain mail." It doesn't say dire things are going to happen if you don't pass it along, etc. My dd just received one from her cousin and I let her send them out to her friends. I told her that nobody ever receives the amount of stickers that they say she'll get (because of people like you guys :D) but she can go ahead and try. It was good practice for her writing out all the addresses and addressing the envelopes. We bought a pack of stickers (cost a dollar or two) and sent them on their way. Dd even sent a paper letting the little girl know that she was so and so's cousin and where the stickers were coming from. One of dd's friend's mom came to me and said so and so doesn't like stickers will you hate me if we don't do this. I laughed and said of course not, she'll send it to her cousin.

 

Just my 2 cents!

[I talk to the trees]

I'd have dd write a reply letting the friend know that she won't be participating. If necessary, she can make you the "bad guy," by saying something like "Darn! My mom won't let me participate in things like this! Oh, well!" Hopefully, that will keep the friend from passing along similar letters in the future.

[BatmansWife]

I voted to just toss the letter, which is what I would probably do, but if you feel compelled to explain to the friend, you can tell her that you wanted her to know that your family doesn't participate in those kinds of things. You might make the suggestion that she can send another letter to a different friend so the chain won't be broken.

 

I hate chain letters...I am still waiting for my dish towels to arrive from 1997!

 

Me too. We must have been part of the same chain letter. :D:D I figure I didn't get my dish towel because we eventually moved. Yeah....that must be the reason. :blink: I only did it because a friend had sent it to me and I felt obligated. I know that I did send a dish towel to the person on the top of the list (or however that worked). So.....*somebody* at least got a dish towel from *me*. Why didn't I ever get one??? :glare:

[trlt]

My dd got the sticker chain letter from her little cousin and I did it. The sad thing is that I don't think anyone we sent it to did it so her cousin didn't get any stickers from them. I didn't feel bad at all that the people we sent it to didn't participate because I really didn't want to either. Later they told me that they didn't but by then it was too late to do anything about it. I never heard anything so they probably think that we didn't participate. Oh well!!

[EKS]

2) "I'm sorry, we don't participate in chain letters. I wanted you to know so you can send it to someone else if you'd like."

 

 

This.