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PSA: IF you want grandma to watch your child


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for free on a fairly regular basis I have the following advice:

 

Make sure your offspring is wearing clothing that has been changed at least once in the last 24 hours and does not reek of urine.

If your preschooler is NOT completely potty trained do not employ wishful thinking and drop him off in regular underwear and no change of clothes.

 

Oh, and COME BACK when you say you will. And ANSWER YOUR CELL.

 

(One would think I would have learned by now :glare:)

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for free on a fairly regular basis I have the following advice:

 

Make sure your offspring is wearing clothing that has been changed at least once in the last 24 hours and does not reek of urine.

If your preschooler is NOT completely potty trained do not employ wishful thinking and drop him off in regular underwear and no change of clothes.

 

Oh, and COME BACK when you say you will. And ANSWER YOUR CELL.

 

(One would think I would have learned by now :glare:)

 

:iagree:

My grand kids just got dropped off for the WEEK with two outfits, including the clothes on their back. Also they were soaking wet and smelled of all-day urine. The only thing their mother had to say was "they may need a bath."

 

You think!!!???!!

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My mom has the opposite complaint. I send them for an overnight like they are going on a two week trip! :D You never know what they might need just in case! :lol:

 

But, I feel your pain. I used to babysit my niece full time, and her mom never brought appropriate clothing or shoes. I did end up buying shoes and clothes to keep here for her. The worst was when she brought her over on a sub-zero temp day with a foot of snow on the ground- wearing a light weight hoodie, a short sleeve shirt, leggings and slip on shoes with no socks. I did go ballistic on SIL on that day.

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My mom has the opposite complaint. I send them for an overnight like they are going on a two week trip! :D You never know what they might need just in case!

 

:iagree: My mom always complained when my SIL and I packed for the kids to send to her house, or went on vaction because we are both OVERpackers. The kids had a drawer of extra clothes at Grandma and Grandpa's for those just in cases, too.

 

They're all older now 11, 9, 8, and 6 but I still overpack, and they still have extras at G&G's house, mostly my niece and nephew's clothes because we live 2000 miles away now, but my kids use 'em if they need to when they visit.

 

:hugs: OP.

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Wow. Harsh. No matter how hard parents try to instill certain values, skills, morals, or whatever else into a child, that child is still a separate person.

 

Lord knows there are days I'd be embarrassed to "claim" mine as mine, and I feel like I'm banging my head up against a brick wall repeatedly, but they are who they are despite my efforts. All a parent can do is keep trying.

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:iagree:

My grand kids just got dropped off for the WEEK with two outfits, including the clothes on their back. Also they were soaking wet and smelled of all-day urine. The only thing their mother had to say was "they may need a bath."

 

You think!!!???!!

 

Does Baby Boy have kids? It seems like he was just a little kid yesterday. :lol:

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for free on a fairly regular basis I have the following advice:

 

Make sure your offspring is wearing clothing that has been changed at least once in the last 24 hours and does not reek of urine.

If your preschooler is NOT completely potty trained do not employ wishful thinking and drop him off in regular underwear and no change of clothes.

 

Oh, and COME BACK when you say you will. And ANSWER YOUR CELL.

 

(One would think I would have learned by now :glare:)

 

I hope their parents were just having a bad day. I'm guessing that is not the case though, or you wouldn't have posted. :grouphug: I guess they are lucky to have a grandma to clean them up and love on them a while. :001_smile:

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I hope their parents were just having a bad day. I'm guessing that is not the case though, or you wouldn't have posted. :grouphug: I guess they are lucky to have a grandma to clean them up and love on them a while. :001_smile:

 

Maybe you could pick up a few things to have there. I shop at the carter's outlet and get things really cheap and cute. :D Hang in there grandma ..they truly are lucky to have you!:grouphug:

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Oh I sure love them. And yes, the culprit is my stepdaughter but I do have a bio-daughter who is just as bad (or worse) but in different ways.

 

I don't understand why this doesn't bother my step-daughter, but even when I TELL her that I think the little one really needs a bath and clean clothes she just laughs and agrees. Today I told her straight out that the poor baby stank. I don't have any clean clothes here near her size (I had already sent her home to mom in what I had had lying around leftover from one kid or another, guess I need to pick up more clothes) but I seriously considered wrapping her in a towel and washing what she had on and giving her a bath. Today, however, I just didn't. I just gave her a sponge bath and wiped off her little jammies here and there and that was it. I'm just sick of it and it doesn't seem to matter. I've done it before too many times. Step-daughter doesn't mind or even get embarrassed. She is a very laid-back mom, I guess. NOT my style. I find the whole thing very stressful.

 

She did this to me several times two years ago with my grandson (the little boy who is NOT quite potty trained) also so you think one of us would have learned. :glare:

 

And oh, I do tell all of this to Dh who works with CPS. Of my four adult daughters (two step and two bio) I have reported three of them. Heck, they've reported each other. My bio daughter is a diagnosed sociopath with a drinking problem and has been in and out of jail. Her kids I often have living with me because she is in jail, but when she is not and I get them to babysit they are at least clean. And that is about as positive as I'm willing to get when it comes to that daughter.

 

My two step-daughters are pretty normal, except for not cleaning their houses (one says she doesn't have to do chores.....but it's HER house :confused:) and this one doesn't keep her kids clean either. Their mom had weird ideas about child care and cleaning also.....she passed away some years ago but I'm told she didn't feel she should be responsible for house cleaning or taking care of the kids (one reason Dh really really appreciates the least effort I make and never complains).

 

I'm told HER mother had servants and raised her to think that the servants are supposed to do that kind of thing. I guess I shouldn't be surprised her girls have taken the same ideas. Too bad neither of them has servants......

 

I'd really like to just enjoy having the grandkids over and not have to get irritated at their mothers! If I have a snuggly cute baby I want to be able to enjoy it! There have been times I have told step-daughter I wasn't available just because I really really didn't want to deal with how dirty her kids are (she has three but one is in school now during the day). The one in school wears expensive clothes her mom bought her that cost way more than I would ever pay for a child's clothes (and I do know how much money her husband makes and it isn't an income level that makes this a good idea) but the poor girl is filthy with dirty uncombed hair and dirty teeth.

 

BUT, step-daughter just laughs and agrees with me and CPS doesn't think it's a problem so all I can do is fuss. So, thanks for listening!

Edited by Rainefox
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Yeah, the post does not reflect well on your DC, you might want to reconsider.

 

You are telling the internet world they don't get changed from pee soaked clothes or properly attended to by your own children.

 

Or perhaps, I'm reading too much into it.

 

No, you are quite correct. That is exactly what I'm saying. I'm SO frustrated. I just don't understand this.

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Wow. Harsh. No matter how hard parents try to instill certain values, skills, morals, or whatever else into a child, that child is still a separate person.

 

Lord knows there are days I'd be embarrassed to "claim" mine as mine, and I feel like I'm banging my head up against a brick wall repeatedly, but they are who they are despite my efforts. All a parent can do is keep trying.

 

Very true. My sociopath daughter breaks my heart. I do claim my step-daughters too, no matter how aggravating they are. I was lucky enough to get to spend the last part of their adolescence as their step-mom with them living under my roof, so I did have a small part in raising them. Or tried to, given how pig-headed teen-age girls can be :001_smile:

I consider myself the grandma to their kids, they do too. I'm lucky for that.

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Does Baby Boy have kids? It seems like he was just a little kid yesterday. :lol:

 

My goodness, no. My spouse's daughter has three kids. She got started a little too young and she's still struggling with young motherhood. I love her and the babies to death, but I get frustrated with it all sometimes. Tomorrow is another day.

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Oh, wow, what a nightmare!!

 

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

 

For my own sanity, I think I'd take $100 out of the gifts-for-said-lame-daughters budget and scour the sales racks for cute simple outfits to keep on hand. The sales racks, or Sam's Club, etc, often have cute things for $5 or less -- sleepers or simple but cute outfits. I'd pick up a few in a range of appropriate sizes to start with, and then just keep my eye open for sales racks, thrift store finds, etc . . . and keep a variety of items on hand. It would make ME feel much happier to be able to snuggle a sweet smelling clean baby . . .

 

(((hugs)))

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Oh, wow, what a nightmare!!

 

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

 

For my own sanity, I think I'd take $100 out of the gifts-for-said-lame-daughters budget and scour the sales racks for cute simple outfits to keep on hand. The sales racks, or Sam's Club, etc, often have cute things for $5 or less -- sleepers or simple but cute outfits. I'd pick up a few in a range of appropriate sizes to start with, and then just keep my eye open for sales racks, thrift store finds, etc . . . and keep a variety of items on hand. It would make ME feel much happier to be able to snuggle a sweet smelling clean baby . . .

 

(((hugs)))

 

That is a very good idea!

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I would definitely just keep some clothes there to have when they come over. We have the opposite problem...I send my dd (4) off to grandma and papa's (my in-laws) all clean, hair done, nice clean clothes and if she spends the night, clothes for the next day, pajamas, etc. I get her back with messy hair (seriously really messy like it hasn't even been brushed since I did it the day before) and the same clothes on the next day (and they are usually pretty grimy). My in-laws are not dirty or particularly messy, and they are terrific grandparents but for some reason they do not change her AT ALL. In fact, I send pajamas but she tells me that she just sleeps in her clothes from the day (even though they give her a bath most times). I don't understand why they do this.:glare:

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Poor babies! We have known parents like that. They let their kids run around in public with food and boogers crusted all over their face and clothes. In one particular case, the parents were both neat as a pin. :confused: I don't get it.

 

I think it is a fine idea to keep clean clothes at your house, but I can see where kids preschool age and up might have hurt feelings about having to change back into grubby clothes before leaving your house.

 

Anyhow, :grouphug: to you and TejasMamacita. It sounds sad and frustrating to deal with your adult kids and their parenting choices.

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My goodness, no. My spouse's daughter has three kids. She got started a little too young and she's still struggling with young motherhood. I love her and the babies to death, but I get frustrated with it all sometimes. Tomorrow is another day.

 

I didn't realize there were other kids in the picture. Hopefully she'll mature into a better mother. At least she and the grandkids have your love. I'm sure it means a lot. :grouphug:

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Poor babies! We have known parents like that. They let their kids run around in public with food and boogers crusted all over their face and clothes. In one particular case, the parents were both neat as a pin. :confused: I don't get it.

 

I think it is a fine idea to keep clean clothes at your house, but I can see where kids preschool age and up might have hurt feelings about having to change back into grubby clothes before leaving your house.

 

Anyhow, :grouphug: to you and TejasMamacita. It sounds sad and frustrating to deal with your adult kids and their parenting choices.

 

Maybe Grandma would have time to throw their dirty clothes into the washer during their visit so that they can wear clean clothes back home?

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That sucks. My mom keeps a dresser filled with items for the kids so that if we forget something (which I seem to always do with 4 of them) there is a substitute. She also keeps toothbrushes there because is something that would get left home without even thinking about it. They generally do not arrive in down right dirty or wet clothes, unless someone has has an accident in the car while we drove and I immediately clean up the child, I could not imagine expecting gramma to do so. I found those early year so easy to keep the kids clean, it wasn't until they hit their current big kid stages that it has become more of an issue.

 

I am sorry that you are not being put into a position of just hugging and loving on your grandbabies

Edited by swellmomma
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Maybe Grandma would have time to throw their dirty clothes into the washer during their visit so that they can wear clean clothes back home?

 

Yeah. I still think it might be awkward to have special clothes that are only worn at Grandma's house, especially if they are noticeably nicer than the children's own clothes. Maybe it is because I have girls. If they saw new clothes at Grandma's house, they would want to have them at home too. ;) I guess there are no perfect answers though, other than the moms and dads shaping up. :tongue_smilie:

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I don't think it necessarily would be awkward for the child to have clothes at Grandma's house. When they come over just give them a bath...not so they know it's to clean them but rather to play in the water, a fun thing! Then just throw their clothes in the washer and put the clothes you (Grandma) has for them and when you change their clothes back if they say anything just tell them that they are in case they need clothes at your house! Not a big deal.

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