Teen dds, $, etc.

[BakersDozen]

My 13yo and 15yo began babysitting for a young mom with 2 dc in January. At first they were only going over for half a day and were paid $15 to split. The family is struggling financially (although they did manage to buy an incredibly nice new couch/loveseat shortly after my girls started with them...hmmmm) and I assured the mom that we don't charge a lot for babysitting and my dds were also fulfilling a school requirement for service.

 

My dds have gone for an entire Saturday twice now and spent their day:

 

running load after load of laundry

vacuuming everything to the point of pulling out furniture

cleaning out fridge/pantry

making meals

preparing large batches of food to freeze

used a meat grinder to grind up beef fat for soap (blech)

scrubbed bathrooms

 

That's not all but you get the idea. These girls worked their tail ends off! They were paid $15...to split. For the entire day.

 

How would you word an email to the mom who is involved? I'm not known for putting things well and often find myself in trouble even when my intent is good. So before I open my mouth I thought I'd see what the Hive has to say.

 

I thought about paying the girls the difference between what they were paid and what I would pay someone to come in and do all they have done but then I feel that this mom is getting away with being a true cheapo and using my girls badly. Heck, I could keep them home on a Saturday and pay them twice what they earn with her and get all those things done here at home! ;)

[Catwoman]

That's not babysitting; that's "full-time nannies, chefs, and housekeepers." :angry:

 

I would be livid. I would call the woman and let her know that you assumed that your dds were there to babysit, not to cook or clean, and that they will not be returning again.

 

Personally, I'd also tell the woman she had some nerve having your dds do that much work and then only paying them $15 to split. (But I'm not the type to avoid that kind of confrontation when someone tries to take advantage of a family member.) The work your dds did, would have cost that woman hundreds of dollars if she'd hired someone else, and you can bet she knows it. I would feel no particular need to be overly polite about it, either.

 

Why did your dds agree to do all that work? Why didn't they say they were only there to babysit? My ds12 doesn't work, but if he was hired to babysit, you can bet he would refuse to do any extra work until the extra fee was agreed upon.

 

This would be a great time to teach your kids the value of standing up for themselves, because this was a job, not something they were doing out of the goodness of their hearts to help a friend. It's so important for our children to learn how to avoid being taken advantage of.

Edited March 4, 2012 by Catwoman

[CupOCoffee]

That's not babysitting; that's "full-time nannies, chefs, and housekeepers."

 

I would call the woman and let her know that you assumed that your dds were there to babysit, not to cook or clean, and that they will not be returning again.

 

Personally, I'd also tell the woman she had some nerve having my dds do that much work and then only paying them $15 to split. (But I'm not the type to avoid that kind of confrontation when someone tries to take advantage of a family member.)

 

Why did your dds agree to do all that work? Why didn't they say they were only there to babysit? My ds12 doesn't work, but if he was hired to babysit, you can bet he would refuse to do any extra work until the extra fee was agreed upon.

 

This would be a great time to teach your kids the value of standing up for themselves, because this was a job, not something they were doing out of the goodness of their hearts to help a friend. It's so important for our children to learn how to avoid being taken advantage of.

 

:iagree: Did your daughters do all this stuff on their own (like they saw the house was a wreck and decided to help) or were they asked to do this by the woman?

 

Babysitting is NOT maid service! If she asked them to do all this stuff, she should be told that $15 is NOT acceptable. If your daughters did this on their own, out of being nice, then there's not much you can do.

 

~coffee~

[QuirkyKidAcademy]

I'd tell them to babysit next time. If they are involved with the kids, they don't have time for all that other stuff. They should also find a way to address the time factor. Maybe they aren't available all day next Saturday?

[Rebecca]

I find these types of situations so very difficult. Our family has had to have no babysitting at all because we cannot afford the rate of 10.00 an hour and my husband- who is a CPA would never pay it due to the tax free nature of the income, etc.

 

Honestly, I would pay your girls yourself and have them do all that for your family.

 

That is my plan with my own children when they get older. I will pay them!

 

Being a family that cannot afford much money for help and who has no family around at all- all family over 600 miles away- I am sensitive toward this issue.

 

I would be careful of accusing this woman unless I truly knew she was mercenary/cheapo, etc. Also, do you know that they bought that furniture? maybe it was a gift-...

 

Finally, you are the mom. You have the right to just say: I am sorry. My girls will not be returning. They are unable to help anymore.

 

My two cents.

Rebecca

[regentrude]

I would let the mother know that

1. I had allowed my DDs to take a babysitting job, not a job as cleaner and housekeeper

2. I did not think they could possibly do an adequate job providing the child care they agreed to be responsible for with this many other tasks asked of them.

3. That they would not be returning.

 

It should be obvious to her that she had been taking advantage of them without you spelling the money aspect out explicitly.

 

I would be livid and there was NO way I would let my daughters work for this family again.

ETA: I do not believe that just because employees are young (teens) an employer should get away with paying less than minimum wage. I find it unethical.

Helping out in an emergency- sure. But doing non-emergency housework? They should be paid an hourly rate. Each.

Edited March 4, 2012 by regentrude

[StephanieZ]

Dear scuzzy mom taking advantage of my girls,

 

My girls will no longer be available as your serfs. Ever.

 

Go pound sand.

 

Sincerely,

Mom who is not raising daughters to be your doormats

[Catwoman]

Dear scuzzy mom taking advantage of my girls,

 

My girls will no longer be available as your serfs. Ever.

 

Go pound sand.

 

Sincerely,

Mom who is not raising daughters to be your doormats

 

 

That about covers it, but it might be a little too subtle. ;)

[Amy in NH]

I wouldn't say anything to the woman. She did take advantage of your girls, but you and the girls let her by not being very specific about pay. This is a teachable moment for your daughters.

 

I would have the girls make up an "Arrow Sisters" flyer with a list of chores and the pay they charge for each chore. Babysitting courses suggest a flat rate + hourly wage (ie. $5, plus + 3/hour per sitter: so $8 for one hr, $11 for 2 hrs). I'd have all the chores set at an hourly rate so they don't end up getting taken advantage of again. And I'd distribute it to all the neighbors including this woman. If she asks, let her know that the girls have decided to work on their business skills and they've come up with a pricing schedule to use from now on so that they are fairly compensated.

[AimeeM]

Your daughters are being taken advantage of. That is nowhere near "okay".

[J-rap]

I'm curious as to whether the young mom ASKED your girls to do all those extras, or whether they just did it all because they're nice girls.

 

Either way, if they were content with the $15 for half/day, I'd explain to the mother that from now on, sorry -- but all they can babysit for is half day. Be very specific about the times. And, tell your daughters to just play with the kids and not worry about everything else. (Although a quick pick-up is always nice!)

[AuntieM]

Anyone who directs my child to operate a meat grinder without my explicit permission would be off my list as approved supervisor.

 

Just what is she doing when your dd are handling all these chores?

 

If I could assume she just doesn't have a clue (ie, if in some way, shape or fashion she thinks your dd enjoy all this stuff or that she's teaching them some valuable skills, however misguidedly), I'd at least be nice when I knocked on her door to let her know we have to come to terms on a job description and fair wage.

 

If I knew for sure she was a schlep, I'd just call and let her know your dds have found a different opportunity for service.

 

Wow. I just don't understand how some folks think. :confused:

[QueenCat]

Anyone who directs my child to operate a meat grinder without my explicit permission would be off my list as approved supervisor.

 

I was thinking about that meat grinder too.....

[joannqn]

I wouldn't say anything to the woman. She did take advantage of your girls, but you and the girls let her by not being very specific about pay. This is a teachable moment for your daughters.

 

I would have the girls make up an "Arrow Sisters" flyer with a list of chores and the pay they charge for each chore. Babysitting courses suggest a flat rate + hourly wage (ie. $5, plus + 3/hour per sitter: so $8 for one hr, $11 for 2 hrs). I'd have all the chores set at an hourly rate so they don't end up getting taken advantage of again. And I'd distribute it to all the neighbors including this woman. If she asks, let her know that the girls have decided to work on their business skills and they've come up with a pricing schedule to use from now on so that they are fairly compensated.

 

 

I love this idea! Thanks. I have a 12 year old who might be interested in this in a few years.

 

I definitely think she took advantage of your girls. I'd put a stop for it even if the only confrontation you can manage is to say they are unavailable.

Edited March 4, 2012 by joannqn

[regentrude]

I'm curious as to whether the young mom ASKED your girls to do all those extras, or whether they just did it all because they're nice girls.)

 

Did your daughters do all this stuff on their own (like they saw the house was a wreck and decided to help) or were they asked to do this by the woman?

 

I can not imagine a 13 and 15 y/o starting to operate a meat grinder just out of their own inspiration.

[LucyStoner]

Wowza. That is a lot of help they have been giving her for wages that won't even let them both go see a movie afterwards. If they are too shy to ask for more or say no, then I would definitely intervene on their behalf. I understand that some sitters and teens are willing to work for low wages to get the money and experience but that rate is absurdly low, even if they are struggling.

 

By comparison I paid a young teen boy $5/hr to play with my son while I was in the house studying for a class while my husband worked Saturdays. $5/hour is low for babysitting, yes. However, I also provided most of the transportation, helped the boy with his algebra questions and provided lunch and a snack. My husband helped him every so often with his computer programming. Both sides got a good deal out of the situation. This situation is not a two way street.

Edited March 4, 2012 by kijipt

[AK_Mom4]

$15 a day might have been good pay as a "hired girl" at one time. But those days are long past (and splitting it between two!).

 

I think your girls could politely let her know that the pay rate is too low for that type of work. They should be at least getting minimum wage, IMO.

[Carol S]

$15 a day might have been good pay as a "hired girl" at one time. But those days are long past (and splitting it between two!).

 

I think your girls could politely let her know that the pay rate is too low for that type of work. They should be at least getting minimum wage, IMO.

:iagree:

[Jen+4dc]

I wouldn't say anything to the woman. She did take advantage of your girls, but you and the girls let her by not being very specific about pay. This is a teachable moment for your daughters.

 

I would have the girls make up an "Arrow Sisters" flyer with a list of chores and the pay they charge for each chore. Babysitting courses suggest a flat rate + hourly wage (ie. $5, plus + 3/hour per sitter: so $8 for one hr, $11 for 2 hrs). I'd have all the chores set at an hourly rate so they don't end up getting taken advantage of again. And I'd distribute it to all the neighbors including this woman. If she asks, let her know that the girls have decided to work on their business skills and they've come up with a pricing schedule to use from now on so that they are fairly compensated.

:iagree: Brilliant!

 

This seems like a non-confrontational way to let the mom know that your girls need to be paid more. It's also an opportunity for them to perhaps find another way to earn money that's not you or this lady.:D

[sassenach]

Since dd has started babysitting, we've had a few situations come up like this. Our solution is that all "bookings" go through me, and it is my responsibility to discuss payment with the mom (or dad) in advanced. I don't think there is anything to do about past underpayment. It is what it is. I did choose to pay my dd out of my pocket one time, because I was so stunned by the non-payment.

 

Here is how I handle the discussions. First I ask if they are hiring dd or if they need a favor. If they say they are hiring, then I give them her rate and ask if that works for them. I may say something like, "DD usually makes $7 an hour, but she can adjust that if it doesn't work for you. Is that ok?" The point for dd isn't so much what she makes, but it is being able to make an informed decision. We feel like she should know what she is going to make up front. Also, if the family needs a favor it allows me to step in and offer help if need be.

[LibraryLover]

Some posts in this forum floor me. $7.50 a day paid to young girls operating a meat grinder... while babysitting.

 

It's like The Twilight Zone here sometimes.

[MistyMountain]

That is way to much to expect at of teens and way to low to pay especially considering all they did. Yikes. That takes a lot of nerve.

[Jilly]

Some posts in this forum floor me. $7.50 a day paid to young girls operating a meat grinder... while babysitting.

 

It's like The Twilight Zone here sometimes.

 

I was thinking the same thing.

[Ester Maria]

I wouldn't say anything to the woman. She did take advantage of your girls, but you and the girls let her by not being very specific about pay. This is a teachable moment for your daughters.

 

I would have the girls make up an "Arrow Sisters" flyer with a list of chores and the pay they charge for each chore. Babysitting courses suggest a flat rate + hourly wage (ie. $5, plus + 3/hour per sitter: so $8 for one hr, $11 for 2 hrs). I'd have all the chores set at an hourly rate so they don't end up getting taken advantage of again. And I'd distribute it to all the neighbors including this woman. If she asks, let her know that the girls have decided to work on their business skills and they've come up with a pricing schedule to use from now on so that they are fairly compensated.

I like this idea. Subtle, but effective.

[Catwoman]

Some posts in this forum floor me. $7.50 a day paid to young girls operating a meat grinder... while babysitting.

 

It's like The Twilight Zone here sometimes.

 

I would feel like I was absolutely getting a steal at only $7.50 per hour, because we would have to pay way, way more than that for nothing but babysitting for one child and certainly not for two sitters!

 

Is that the going rate in your area? It sounds far too cheap to me. I can't imagine two girls working for that low rate.

[myfunnybunch]

I wouldn't say anything to the woman. She did take advantage of your girls, but you and the girls let her by not being very specific about pay. This is a teachable moment for your daughters.

 

I would have the girls make up an "Arrow Sisters" flyer with a list of chores and the pay they charge for each chore. Babysitting courses suggest a flat rate + hourly wage (ie. $5, plus + 3/hour per sitter: so $8 for one hr, $11 for 2 hrs). I'd have all the chores set at an hourly rate so they don't end up getting taken advantage of again. And I'd distribute it to all the neighbors including this woman. If she asks, let her know that the girls have decided to work on their business skills and they've come up with a pricing schedule to use from now on so that they are fairly compensated.

 

I think this is an excellent idea. I agree that the mom was able to take advantage because things were not clear ahead of time. Next time she calls, either you or the girls can let her know that they charge $15 for a half day of babysitting; $30 for a full day, with additional rates for extra housework. Maybe they could make their hourly rate such that the $15 half day/$30 full day charge comes to slightly less than the hourly rate.

 

I remember helping with light household chores when I babysat as a teen. I'd fold laundry if it was left out, and I'd always wash the dishes and pick up the kids' rooms. Sometimes I'd sweep or vacuum. But that was because a) my mother told me to :tongue_smilie:, and b) I knew I'd be more likely to be hired again if the house was clean when the family got home. Oh, and c) the family I babysat for the most was very busy, and the mom was always so delighted and grateful it made me want to help her. There was one mom who would ask me to do the laundry or sweep and mop the kitchen for her while the toddler took his nap, but she *always* paid me extra for those chores.

 

I do think the mom needs a reality check. It's one thing to ask for a price break because you need some help; it's another entirely to ask for twice as much time and twice as much work. A price list teaches your girls to advocate for themselves tactfully. I'd like to say it will give the other mom a chance to re-think her behavior, but...well, we can hope, right?

 

Cat

[Delighted3]

My 15dd gets paid $2/child/hour. For example, she gets $8/hour an to watch 4 kids. She has babysat for several people that our family knows through various channels. She has never had to state this as her going rate. People just pay her that or more. She babysits and the only cleaning is of messes made while she is there, like she does supper dishes if she makes supper while there.

If the Mom feels this is an OK way to treat your daughters, nothing you say is going to help the situation.The situation you are describing is a woman who does not value your dds, but just wants cheap labor. If she expects them to work that hard with barely any compensation, just think what she would expect if she were actually paying them a fair wage. If it were my daughters, I would make them unavailable from this point forward. A confrontation at this point would not accomplish anything, but hard feelings. I would just let it go.

JMO,

Joy

[BakersDozen]

Thank you all for the suggestions! My dds began this job as babysitters/mama helpers as the woman stays at home (she was working online but has since quit) and needed help with her boys (4yo and 9mo). I knew my girls were doing basic clean-up during and at the end of their time yet the last two weeks things have escalated to servant status! First the woman had some kind of minor surgery and needed help because she couldn't lift her 9mo. That turned into me walking in to see my girls putting up plastic in her windows. This was after they scrubbed the entire kitchen and ran 7 loads of laundry. OK... Then this week the thing with the meat grinder and the many, MANY batches of breads and such that she had them make/freeze made me :confused:. I feel especially bad since my boys were home today helping us do the same thing (minus the meat grinder, lol) and weren't paid a dime.

 

I hate that this is happening. My girls are good girls and would not say a word to this lady. They serve cheerfully and are struggling with how to handle being taken advantage of.

[Chris in VA]

Even if you do make up the flyer and distribute it to everyone, including her (an excellent idea, imo), you will still need to be explict b/c that sort of person is likely to think she's an exception due to your prior arrangement and her personality.

 

Also, I could see her being "so grateful!!!" to your dds for helping in that way that they feel guiltied into continuing to let her take advantage. So, being upfront is good and you have to arm them to be bold enough to tell it like it is, politely and firmly.

 

They could say something like this if the mom tries to make them feel guilty or do the work again for low pay--

 

"We do love working for you! We really appreciate the opportunity, and we just love your kiddos! Here's our pricing structure now." (Hand a copy of the flyer to her, even if you left one on her door--just take an extra w/them next time, EVEN IF you've discussed the new pricing with her previously.)

 

I can see her saying, "Oh, I'm afraid I won't be able to hire you anymore. Oh, dear, it's too bad, if only we had more money, oh, dear..."

To which they can reply, "I know, I wish you could, too. Your kids are so sweet. Well, maybe things will change for you soon. Thanks for the opportunity!" Click! Hang up, walk away smiling, etc. etc.

[Natalieclare]

I hate that this is happening. My girls are good girls and would not say a word to this lady. They serve cheerfully and are struggling with how to handle being taken advantage of.

 

 

I haven't read the middle of this thread, so I hope I am not repeating anyone.

 

I think one of the problems in this scenario is your use of the word "serve." If my dds wanted to do something for someone as an act of service, I wouldn't expect them to get paid at all, even with all the tasks your neighbor assigned. However, as a service to a struggling mom, I wouldn't expect it to be a regular gig--more along the lines of helping out over a hurdle or two. Once someone becomes regular, then it really moves into the realm of a job, which is completely different than an act of service. You might want to help your girls figure out if they are serving or working for this lady.

 

As far as a job goes, it think the previous posters idea of a flyer is a good one.

[melissad2]

I would call her up and tell her that they quit and when she asked me why I would tell her exactly why!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I would let the mother know that

1. I had allowed my DDs to take a babysitting job, not a job as cleaner and housekeeper

2. I did not think they could possibly do an adequate job providing the child care they agreed to be responsible for with this many other tasks asked of them.

3. That they would not be returning.

 

It should be obvious to her that she had been taking advantage of them without you spelling the money aspect out explicitly.

 

I would be livid and there was NO way I would let my daughters work for this family again.

ETA: I do not believe that just because employees are young (teens) an employer should get away with paying less than minimum wage. I find it unethical.

Helping out in an emergency- sure. But doing non-emergency housework? They should be paid an hourly rate. Each.

 

 

:iagree: This. My kids would not be going back there.

[Melinda in VT]

I haven't read the middle of this thread, so I hope I am not repeating anyone.

 

I think one of the problems in this scenario is your use of the word "serve." If my dds wanted to do something for someone as an act of service, I wouldn't expect them to get paid at all, even with all the tasks your neighbor assigned. However, as a service to a struggling mom, I wouldn't expect it to be a regular gig--more along the lines of helping out over a hurdle or two. Once someone becomes regular, then it really moves into the realm of a job, which is completely different than an act of service. You might want to help your girls figure out if they are serving or working for this lady.

 

As far as a job goes, it think the previous posters idea of a flyer is a good one.

 

:iagree: with all of this, but especially with the bolded. Service and employment are two completely separate things, and confusing the two will lead to a lifetime of being taken advantage of by your employers.

[Ottakee]

I guess the question would be if they are doing this as a SERVICE project or out of charity or as a paying business.

 

I know several kids in our church that would do what yours did (minus the meat grinder) as they would do it as an act of service to a family in need. If it was a paying business, then they are not being paid much.

 

I guess you need to clarify first which you want--service or employment.

 

It might also depend on if this is a mom that is taking advantage of your kids or a very struggling mother without extra help that is just trying to survive.

[Haiku]

How would you word an email to the mom who is involved?

 

I wouldn't. This is between the woman and your daughters. If you think they are being used, you could, I suppose, forbid them from going, but if they think they are not being paid enough, they should discuss it with the woman. It's not a matter of safety, so I would stay out of it.

 

They knew after the first all-day venture how much they would be paid, and they went back a second time.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

They serve cheerfully and are struggling with how to handle being taken advantage of.

 

I think this is the heart of the issue. If they are "serving," then they shouldn't really expect to be paid top dollar. If they are doing this to fulfill a school requirement, then they shouldn't expect to be paid a princely sum. Your OP made it seem, to me, like the arrangement was that your girls were helping this woman out and that high payment was not expected. I don't really see it as the woman's fault that she is now being accused of underpaying them.

 

Tara

[TXMomof4]

 

I think one of the problems in this scenario is your use of the word "serve." If my dds wanted to do something for someone as an act of service, I wouldn't expect them to get paid at all, even with all the tasks your neighbor assigned. However, as a service to a struggling mom, I wouldn't expect it to be a regular gig--more along the lines of helping out over a hurdle or two. Once someone becomes regular, then it really moves into the realm of a job, which is completely different than an act of service. You might want to help your girls figure out if they are serving or working for this lady.

 

As far as a job goes, it think the previous posters idea of a flyer is a good one.

 

 

:iagree: Helping someone through a time of need is admirable. If this woman really needs that help, the situation needs to be addressed by an adult - not your children. If she is taking advantage of the situation, you need to stand up for your kids or give them the tools to stand up for themselves. KWIM?

[Impish]

I'm one of those who object to teens being paid astronomical amts for babysitting.

 

That being said, holy carp! No way was that fair!

 

As has been mentioned already, you need to decide if this is a 'serving' situation, or a 'work' situation.

 

Either way, I wouldn't have my kids going back.

[LucyStoner]

My girls are good girls and would not say a word to this lady. They serve cheerfully and are struggling with how to handle being taken advantage of.

 

They are still good girls if they speak up for themselves.

 

If this was a temporary thing to help a very struggling family (young kids, low finances, surgery) then I agree that payment is superfluous. However, this does not seem to be that to me because the mom immediately double the time and more than doubled the workload. It sounds to me that this woman is really abusing the original spirit of the help. It is ok for your girls to say "we have enjoyed getting to know your kids and helping you through your surgery. Our rates going forwards for babysitting are X and our rates for housecleaning and cooking are Y and our mom says we can't operate a meat grinder." If they are too shy to say that, I understand you helping them. One needn't keep quiet and be taken advantage of to be a good person.

[regentrude]

I'm one of those who object to teens being paid astronomical amts for babysitting.

 

Just curious: what do you consider an astronomical amount?

 

I have a hard time understanding the idea that one should pay less for the important task of watching children and keeping them safe than for other services like lawn mowing, house cleaning etc. If those are not done well, nothing bad will happen - but problems with the former may result in injury or death. So going by importance, shouldn't childcare be a well paid job?

[plansrme]

Where was the mother when this was going on? Did she leave this list, or was she there directing the work? I'm really amazed at this and am wondering what was going through her head.

 

 

Terri

[Mrs Mungo]

Some posts in this forum floor me. $7.50 a day paid to young girls operating a meat grinder... while babysitting.

 

It's like The Twilight Zone here sometimes.

 

I agree. That is a bizzaro-world situation. Does the mom in question have a goatee?

 

I guess the question would be if they are doing this as a SERVICE project or out of charity or as a paying business.

 

I know several kids in our church that would do what yours did (minus the meat grinder) as they would do it as an act of service to a family in need. If it was a paying business, then they are not being paid much.

 

I guess you need to clarify first which you want--service or employment.

 

It might also depend on if this is a mom that is taking advantage of your kids or a very struggling mother without extra help that is just trying to survive.

 

I do agree with this too. Their position needs to be clarified. I think describing it as a service project is what led to all of the extra work.

[Sevilla]

I would not do anything about what happened - it's over and done, and it is a valuable learning experience. Next time she calls to askthem over, the girls (or you) need to clarify what they will be paid *by the hour* (per person) and get a verbal agreement. When I babysat 15-20 years ago the 'cheapo rate' was $2-3/hour and the 'good rate' was $5/hour. The fact that they were paid LESS THAN THAT two decades later says something.

 

This is a good lesson in assertiveness and boundaries - they are free to volunteer their time free of charge if they want to help, and they are also free to charge a reasonable price and turn down jobs that do not pay it. But the ball is in their court from now on, b/c assuming you'll be paid fairly without clarifying beforehand rarely turns out well ;).

[DesertDweller]

It sounds like she was wanting to hire a maid. I can't imagine how anyone would have the gall to ask two young girls to babysit and then have them do all the things that you mentioned. Washing up a few dishes that the kids ate lunch on and picking up toys that were played with is one thing, but asking them to do the type of jobs that she did goes far beyond any type of babysitting.

 

My dd would not be allowed to go back. And, I doubt she would want to go back. I would explain to your friend that there must have been a miscommunication about what she was needing and that perhaps she should call a housecleaning service to come in and help her instead. Even if she agreed to change the required tasks, I still wouldn't let my dd go back.

[butterflymommy]

If they've fulfilled the "service" requirement from school, don't have them go over there anymore. Keep them home and pay them each $15 for the day's work.

 

I pay my son $12.50 a week for roughly 7 hours of work (about an hour a day). Mostly loading/ unloading dishes (we produce a LOT of dishes), plus carrying trash and laundry.

[Catwoman]

Thank you all for the suggestions! My dds began this job as babysitters/mama helpers as the woman stays at home (she was working online but has since quit) and needed help with her boys (4yo and 9mo). I knew my girls were doing basic clean-up during and at the end of their time yet the last two weeks things have escalated to servant status! First the woman had some kind of minor surgery and needed help because she couldn't lift her 9mo. That turned into me walking in to see my girls putting up plastic in her windows. This was after they scrubbed the entire kitchen and ran 7 loads of laundry. OK... Then this week the thing with the meat grinder and the many, MANY batches of breads and such that she had them make/freeze made me :confused:. I feel especially bad since my boys were home today helping us do the same thing (minus the meat grinder, lol) and weren't paid a dime.

 

I hate that this is happening. My girls are good girls and would not say a word to this lady. They serve cheerfully and are struggling with how to handle being taken advantage of.

 

Umm.... when you walked in and saw your girls putting plastic on her windows, why didn't you say something at that time?

 

You knew this stuff was going on, and didn't confront the woman? :confused:

 

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like your dds have learned their lack of assertiveness from you. Perhaps it's time to start setting a better example for them.

 

I would be positively livid that my children had been treated like slaves, and you can bet the woman would have heard about it. I don't understand your lack of response to this. The woman hired babysitters, not slaves, and I can't believe you have been tolerating the way she has been treating them. She's not a nice woman. She is using your children in a totally inappropriate way. Period. Her financial situation doesn't matter. She knows full well that she's pulling a fast one.

Edited March 4, 2012 by Catwoman

[bettyandbob]

when I hire a babysitter I expect

 

someone to play with my dc

someone to read to my dc

someone to put away toys that were played with

someone to remind dc to go to the potty

someone to change dc if dc has an accident

someone to feed dc food I have left that I already prepared.

 

Some people might have other expectations, but the main theme is that the babysitter is there for my dc direct benefit. I think you need to be clear about what a baby sitter is. When I get a sitter, I expect to pay $10/hour.

 

Typical maid service does not include many of the things on the list you dds had. Where I live I think people pay 70-80 dollars for services you would recieve from a 4 hour house cleaning.

 

For service I would think no money would be paid. So, that part has been confusing me. Perhaps that part clouded the behavior of the woman who asked your dds to do anything she could think of.