vlgimmelli Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Hello, Does anyone with a child with autism ever have meltdowns during school, what do you do? This entire week has been horrible. It is our 2nd year of homeschooling and with so many people telling it is the wrong thing to homeschool and no support.....my mind starts to think....am I doing the right thing?? Any suggestions on how to handle those days/weeks where it is difficult to teach a child (12 years old) when all he does is yawn, complain and have meltdowns if he is not happy? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Hello, Does anyone with a child with autism ever have meltdowns during school, what do you do? It's hard. :grouphug: DS8 has meltdowns over schoolwork as well (although it's gotten a lot better over the past year or so). What works for us: sticking to the same school schedule every day - when I vary from that, it generally leads to a meltdown exercise (preferably outdoors) first thing after breakfast and throughout the morning whenever I can tell he needs a break - he's calmer and better able to focus after getting some exercise making computer access contingent on completion of school work not responding to any complaints/comments unless they're delivered in a respectful tone (my DS had started to whine constantly - ever since I completely stopped responding to anything he says unless it's said in a respectful, non-whiny tone it's made a huge difference, especially during lessons) avoiding his meltdown "triggers", for example: not using certain words (e.g. he responds very negatively to the words "school" and "lessons", so I use other words, even though he and I both know what I'm talking about) too much repetition - some of the curriculum we use has a LOT of repetition, but DS doesn't need that and it sets him off This entire week has been horrible. It is our 2nd year of homeschooling and with so many people telling it is the wrong thing to homeschool and no support.....my mind starts to think....am I doing the right thing?? Any suggestions on how to handle those days/weeks where it is difficult to teach a child (12 years old) when all he does is yawn, complain and have meltdowns if he is not happy?Thanks I feel like that too sometimes (I'm sure we all do!), but then I remind myself that if my son was in public school, he would already have a track record of constant problems that would likely be setting him up for continued failure. Even if things aren't perfect at home, I'm providing an environment where he can learn, progress, and mature at his own rate - without being labeled, stigmatized, or having his past continue to follow him when he's ready to make positive changes and move forward. That in and of itself is a huge benefit we provide our kids by choosing to homeschool. I hope today is a better day. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frugalmama Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 We do pretty much the same as Dandelion - my DD is only 5yo with ASD though. Occasionally we just take a break and do something else - a DVD, cook something - anything to get her mind onto a new track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 My DD has them occasionally. Being tired, hungry, or off of regular routine all makes them more likely. We've had 2 minor ones so far today, and I'm thinking lunch and a LONG rest time this afternoon are in order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 :grouphug: Yes, we have the meltdowns too. We try to stay consistent with our daily schedule, and I try not to overwhelm dd (11) with too much work in one day. If I see a meltdown coming, or if she has one, she is to go to her room until she can calm down. She has come to the point where I don't even need to tell her to go to her room. Sometimes if she feels the tension coming on, she will just excuse herself from the room. There have been times when she will come downstairs and tell me she had to calm herself down, and I didn't even realize she had been stressed. It has taken some time to get to this point though, it hasn't always been/isn't always that easy. She has learned techniques on how to calm herself through her counselors and has also discovered on her own what will help her. I am always available to sit with her if she needs me there, but she must stay in her room until she is calm. She knows the behavior is unacceptable in the family living areas, for it is disruptive and upsetting to other family members. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, I know just how you feel. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) We use: medication, therapy, timely balanced (carb/protein) meals, limited seatwork and other accomodations, and a signal system. The signal system involves us both recognizing when a meltdown is coming and agreeing that DS will have a time out rather than us trying to forge ahead. I try to be consistent in our schedule because I know that is important, but I also try to recognize when it is just a bad day for whatever reason. On bad days, we do lighter learning. For instance, I won't try and do a long "mastery test" or introduce a difficult math topic on a rough day. FWIW, our therapist has said that at the current stage, because of the meltdowns DS would not even be in a mainstream class in PS and if he were, he'd have an aide. Think about it, if the child has a meltdown in a class of 25 others someone has to remove him/her. I don't think ps is going to make the meltdowns not happen. KWIM? Edited March 1, 2012 by MomatHWTK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlgimmelli Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 I believe also that ps will not remove meltdowns, but how do I convince my husband that ps will not change his meltdowns? I know that my husband says it so that I am not stressed but I keep telling him that if they are in ps I will be even more stressed. Not sure how to convince my husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 I've had the same thoughts at times---wondered if ps would be a better place, wondering if he would be mor eattentive, respectful, etc to someone who wasn't his mom. But then i remember that he did the same things to his slp and his ot and some of the moms in co-op class. (especially the art class---whoa buddy he was not going to be told what to do in that subject). Funny but the way I convinced my husband was to ask him to sub in a 2nd grade classroom (of course others will have to find other ways) and i remind him of his whispery covert phone call telling me that he would never ever put his kid in that environment. It helps too that he subs in the sep-ed at the middle school and high school---he sees the end results of children not being given one on one attention. I just try really hard to move on to something *nice* if we're getting fussy at each other. Baking or outside play or a drawing session. Has anyone tried the glitter glue calm down bottles? I'm also contemplating getting a Wii Fit just so he can have a quick break with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 I believe also that ps will not remove meltdowns, but how do I convince my husband that ps will not change his meltdowns? I know that my husband says it so that I am not stressed but I keep telling him that if they are in ps I will be even more stressed. Not sure how to convince my husband. In PS, I'd be more concerned about other kids having meltdowns on my son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnygirl Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 I don't have the answer, but I'm all ears if someone does. Our dd (bipolar) swings all over the place, so meltdowns happen without so much as a warning. This week has been particularly bad, as she was at her grandparents' house last week. (Back to life, back to reality...). I will say that when she was in public school, our meltdowns happened twice a day like clockwork: once before school, once in the evening...EVERY single day. So I guess what we're dealing with now is better than that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Just a suggestion. How about meeting with the school and discussing what could be expected if you were to enroll ds? One week in public school may not be a bad idea- to see what the alternative is and what you and your dh think about it. If dh has misgivings about homeschooling him, it will make your resolve weaker. Homeschooling being the "right" decision is dependent on the participants, not outsiders. Don't worry about naysayers that secretly wish they could do what you're doing. Enjoy your time with your kids, make decisions about what is best for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 No advice just :grouphug: ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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