Plucky Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I know at my son's work a couple of guys got into a fist fight out back at work. Came in and went back to work. No management ever found out. One just said they fell down and that is why he had a black eye. At my dh's work he had a friend threaten him and push him. He was able to diffuse the issue, but did not turn him in. Teenage boys and young men often pull hideous pranks on each other, wrestle, punch each other, etc. They do not turn each other in. Now if my ds was accosted he would defend himself, but I would certainly call the police. Even in the workplace men put up with a lot from other men so they won't be considered a wimp. Although sometimes you do read about men being harassed or assaulted. It isn't as common though for men to come forward. Any thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 No, none of that is acceptable or appropriate in a work environment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 No, none of that is acceptable or appropriate in a work environment. I know that. I worded that poorly. I guess I mean is it acceptable among men? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 My dh has been threatened with bodily harm twice by renters. One of them said he was going to run him down with his truck. He laughs it off. (he has been threatened, not me or the the children. That would be a different matter) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 My dh has been threatened with bodily harm twice by renters. One of them said he was going to run him down with his truck. He laughs it off. (he has been threatened, not me or the the children. That would be a different matter) Yikes. Why do men put up with that from other men? Here there was an incident where a man actually did run 2 men over. It was horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 The men at DH's workplace are crass and sometimes play pranks, but anyone getting physical would be in BIG trouble. If they just made a threat, they would probably get a talking to by a co-worker (informally). If they continued, then it would become an official problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Yikes. Why do men put up with that from other men? Here there was an incident where a man actually did run 2 men over. It was horrible. Dh figured the guy was full of hot air and wasn't worth any attention I guess. He was right. Neither ever said anything again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Plus, a threat is different from someone actually laying hands on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 Dh figured the guy was full of hot air and wasn't worth any attention I guess. He was right. Neither ever said anything again. That's good. My dh tends to stick up for people in situations or rescue strangers. I'd rather he just stay safe & think of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 The men at DH's workplace are crass and sometimes play pranks, but anyone getting physical would be in BIG trouble. If they just made a threat, they would probably get a talking to by a co-worker (informally). If they continued, then it would become an official problem. I think these things happen more in male dominated industries/companies. I also think it is becoming less and less acceptable among the men. I hope so at least. I know my boys wouldn't tolerate some of this. A lot of the men are also older and ex-military if that matters. Or young and dumb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHomeScientist Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 That's good. My dh tends to stick up for people in situations or rescue strangers. I'd rather he just stay safe & think of us. That's completely understandable. There's a small but very real possibility that in coming to someone's aid your husband could be seriously injured or worse. But you also have to look at the flip-side. If you were in distress, would you want another woman's husband to come to your aid, or would you prefer that he just pretend not to see and walk away? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHomeScientist Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Incidentally, the technical term for your husband is "a man". Any guy who'd walk away without attempting to help, particularly if it's a woman or child in danger, is not a man by my definition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I know that. I worded that poorly. I guess I mean is it acceptable among men? Not anywhere my dh has worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Men/boys handle confrontation/stress differently than women/girls. On the playground boys can have a physical fight one day and play together the next day. Whatever frustrated them the day before is over and done with. Girls, on the other hand, fight with words (nasty remarks to one another and gossip) and often do not let up and move on. Males and females keep these behaviors into adulthood. I think men are more likely than women to suppress some of their "natural" behaviors. None of these behaviors are acceptable at work. Women who are observed doing nasty things to eachother verbally or through gossip are not as likely to be fired though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 (edited) I know at my son's work a couple of guys got into a fist fight out back at work. Came in and went back to work. No management ever found out. One just said they fell down and that is why he had a black eye. At my dh's work he had a friend threaten him and push him. He was able to diffuse the issue, but did not turn him in. Teenage boys and young men often pull hideous pranks on each other, wrestle, punch each other, etc. They do not turn each other in. Now if my ds was accosted he would defend himself, but I would certainly call the police. Even in the workplace men put up with a lot from other men so they won't be considered a wimp. Although sometimes you do read about men being harassed or assaulted. It isn't as common though for men to come forward. Any thoughts? When I saw the title of the thread, I thought yes! Absolutely! But when I read the content of your actual post, I thought no way! Uh-uh! :confused: Pranks and being crasser than when in front of customers, outsiders, women, etc. sure. Bodily harm and fighting? No. I think these things happen more in male dominated industries/companies. I also think it is becoming less and less acceptable among the men. I hope so at least. I know my boys wouldn't tolerate some of this. A lot of the men are also older and ex-military if that matters. Or young and dumb. In no unit my DH has been in would this kind of behavior ever have gone unpunished. Sounds like basic immaturity to me. It reeks of people attempting to attribute irresponsible, immature, and downright inappropriate behavior to a "boys will be boys" mentality. Boys will be boys, sure. Men behave like men, not boys. Edited February 29, 2012 by Alte Veste Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 That's completely understandable. There's a small but very real possibility that in coming to someone's aid your husband could be seriously injured or worse. But you also have to look at the flip-side. If you were in distress, would you want another woman's husband to come to your aid, or would you prefer that he just pretend not to see and walk away? Oh no. I agree he should help. I just worry he will get in too dangerous of a situation. He helps and rescues men as well. I worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I work in a very male dominated field and have never seen behavior like this among my colleagues. Neither has DH. No, I do not think men typically act like this in the work place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 just like families do. I have never been in a workplace where men punched each other, wrestled, etc. If a man punched me, I would call the police - forget about "tattling" to our boss, lol. So maybe men and women are different, but I won't apologize for that. DH was a Marine for 20 years and is now in his second career. The behaviors you described would be unacceptable in any office he has been part of. You save up all that aggressive nastiness for the annual company baseball game. Just kidding. But seriously? Grown men don't act like that in normal business settings. Which doesn't mean they don't feel like punching each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 While I was only "socked" once at work, I've worked with men and been treated like one. OTOH, when I started working with "the girls", having spent most of my life around bookish women who didn't shave, I found their backstabbing MUCH less tolerable than the men's rough and ill manners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Men/boys handle confrontation/stress differently than women/girls. On the playground boys can have a physical fight one day and play together the next day. Whatever frustrated them the day before is over and done with. Girls, on the other hand, fight with words (nasty remarks to one another and gossip) and often do not let up and move on. Males and females keep these behaviors into adulthood. I think men are more likely than women to suppress some of their "natural" behaviors. None of these behaviors are acceptable at work. Women who are observed doing nasty things to eachother verbally or through gossip are not as likely to be fired though. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Males and females keep these behaviors into adulthood. I think men are more likely than women to suppress some of their "natural" behaviors. None of these behaviors are acceptable at work. Women who are observed doing nasty things to eachother verbally or through gossip are not as likely to be fired though. And that is why I much prefer hanging out with people who are not butch or femme, but just decent grown ups. It takes me longer to trust people who are all dolled up like a female drag queen or swaggering around. (I work with one guy who literally tightens and then kisses his biceps.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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