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Having major doubts


In2why
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Maybe this is a normal stage, but I am second guessing our decision to homeschool. I think it partly came from reading a wonderful science teachers blog and all the cool things she does in class, or maybe because this week I am just feeling the doldrums. My kids are on target, and I am happy with their progress, but we aren't setting records on fire, and I am not a super creative mom, with lots of outside opportunities to expose the kids. Sometimes I worry if I am enough, am I holding them back? That is my biggest fear. We don't educate because of a religious calling, but because I want to give them an individual education, and we began because I didn't want my younger on the special ed track just because he wasn't a strong reader. His reading is on level now, but he is struggling with multiplication. I think if he were in PS he would need to be a grade back and with his size, (he is really tall) and friends I worry about that. But if I am not enough then he might fall further behind, yet I helped his reading get on target, but will he always be a bit behind, since he has an August Bday, I just don't know. Then there is the dreaded socializing, they both have friends and each other, but they would meet more people in school. Good and bad.

I guess I am really insecure right now, and I haven't felt this way in the 2 years we have done this so far, but my fear is strong right now.

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I've had moments of doubt as well, but I think as a mom, that is normal. We want what is best for our kiddos!

It's easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing (I'm good at that!) and feel like you're not doing enough. If you're happy and the kids are happy and you know they are learning, then don't stress. They are going to be fine! :)

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Hang in there. I think at times like these we all just need to reassess and look at the big picture. Are you accomplishing what you wanted to accomplish so far? Do you really want him in PS? Don't miss the forest for the trees, ya know?

 

Also, maybe look at some of his work from a year ago and see how far he's come. Sometimes progress is so slow and we are there for every single step of it we lose track at how much success we are actually having with homeschooling!

 

I know I started a blog at one point which I didn't keep up with and I just looked at it yesterday and read my last blog post from a year ago. I was amazed at what my boys were reading and the work they were doing only 1 year ago! We've come so far, I didn't even realize! Maybe looking at where you were a year or 2 ago would help put things in perspective.

 

:grouphug: There's always the Spring when all the curriculum goes on sale. That can do wonders for rejuvenating the spirit. :laugh:

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:grouphug: I think those moments of doubt are normal. I have had them often over the years (we are in our 4th year). I try to embrace it now and use it as a chance to see if we really do need to make any changes. Sometimes we do, and other times I end up being reassured that we are on the right track, and that is good too. :)

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I have looked at the schools in my area both public and private and I am confident that on a daily basis at the k-4 level my kids receive more attention and an education that is better in that it more specifically meets their needs. Although there are a couple of private schools (that are generally speaking outside our financial ability to attend) that have pretty cool 5-6 grade programs (foreign language options, competition math teams, other nifty extras that are not the norm in TN), mostly the academics I am able to provide on my own are still better than what they would receive in the traditional classrooms near my home.

 

But I feel your pain, beginning in grade 7 when many of the schools have decent science labs and foreign language programs and most of the schools have extracurricular activities, you really have to look at what you want for your kids educationally, socially, and what you want for your family as a unit. You have to consider what you can provide within the homeschool community and what opportunities you can create within the homeschool community. While doing this you also have to remember that sometimes a better lab doesn't mean better retention or understanding, sometimes a native language speaker as a tutor can work better for a student than a class, sometimes more extracurricular activities are just more and not better, and sometimes the things that are picked up socially in a larger setting are not the things you had hoped.

 

Home education isn't the only way to educate a child. For some families it is the choice that works best for their family. Other families find that other options are a better fit. My oldest stayed home for high school. I am pleased with that choice. My second also stayed home, but I am not sure that we would do it the same way if given the chance to do it over. At the very least we would start dual enrollment sooner. I have no idea how we will handle the little one. The choice you make only needs to work for your family.

 

HTH-

Mandy

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