wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 and how we don't know what the real world is like because we homeschool. (because you know they don't have friends, ESPECIALLY public school friends, they don't ever do ANYTHING outside the house :cursing:)I am REALLY tired of people taking offense to facebook posts on MY wall that has nothing to do with them, or anybody else. :cursing: I am really really tired of it. :cursing: Sorry- just had to get this off my chest where I hope I wouldn't offend anybody for mentioning the words homeschool :glare: :rant: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Can you set up groups on your facebook to eliminate the trouble makers from even seeing your posts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Real world. I guess it's necessary to go back to defining terms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CupOCoffee Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug: Yeah, that kind of stuff gets old. "well how will they ever function in the real world if they don't go to school? if they stay up late and sleep late? if they _______" blah blah blah.... Vent away! ~coffee~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Maybe they think I don't live in the real world either. I don't work, I'm a SAHM/housewife/homemaker/domestic goddess or whatever. I don't have friends. I do not belong to any social clubs or religious organizations. I go shopping occasionally but my DH does most of the grocery shopping because he likes it. We go out to a restaurant every couple of weeks. I have doctor appointments for me and the kids. But just to hang out with someone, go to the park, go to the movies, etc? Nope. My dd13 is more social than I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 Maybe they think I don't live in the real world either. I don't work, I'm a SAHM/housewife/homemaker/domestic goddess or whatever. I don't have friends. I do not belong to any social clubs or religious organizations. I go shopping occasionally but my DH does most of the grocery shopping because he likes it. We go out to a restaurant every couple of weeks. I have doctor appointments for me and the kids. But just to hang out with someone, go to the park, go to the movies, etc? Nope. My dd13 is more social than I am. I will have to run that by her and see if you qualify or not :001_huh: ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Real world. I guess it's necessary to go back to defining terms. :iagree: I was shocked entering 'the real world' from high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :iagree: I was shocked entering 'the real world' from high school. ditto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I will have to run that by her and see if you qualify or not :001_huh: ;) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Maybe they think I don't live in the real world either. I don't work, I'm a SAHM/housewife/homemaker/domestic goddess or whatever. I don't have friends. I do not belong to any social clubs or religious organizations. I go shopping occasionally but my DH does most of the grocery shopping because he likes it. We go out to a restaurant every couple of weeks. I have doctor appointments for me and the kids. But just to hang out with someone, go to the park, go to the movies, etc? Nope. My dd13 is more social than I am. So funny, this describes me, especially the "domestic goddess" part. LOL. Except my daughters are 5, 5, and 7. OP, vent away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Can you set up groups on your facebook to eliminate the trouble makers from even seeing your posts? I have come so close to blocking her, but shes my cousin and I love her to death. Its so hard because any little thing-- even a status as simple as School went great today- gets criticized by her. She says stuff like "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world" You know, that is EXACTLY what I meant- had nothing to do with our day of school, that was just a cover up :001_rolleyes: . Yes, that was an actual comment of hers to an actual status of mine a while back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 People are concerned because in the Real World people enter work places and have 24 coworkers the same age and a superior 20 years older. Public school mirrors the work environment your dc will have as adults and they won't be able to handle it. OK I don't know what the Real World is, but I don't think public school is it. Unless your dc spend all their time at home, I'm sure they have Real World experiences. However, there will always be someone who has to tell you you are wrong in your approach. Partly, I think people do this because they want to feel that what they've chosen for their own family is BETTER. It gives them reassurance, thinking they are superior to someone. Sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Um, yeah. Because the microcosm that exists in the local public high school is so....real. Riiiiight. I love that "hide" feature on fb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 She says stuff like "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world." Yes, that was an actual comment of hers to an actual status of mine a while back. Wow. :001_huh: I would really be done with someone who seriously said that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 People are concerned because in the Real World people enter work places and have 24 coworkers the same age and a superior 20 years older. Public school mirrors the work environment your dc will have as adults and they won't be able to handle it. OK I don't know what the Real World is, but I don't think public school is it. Unless your dc spend all their time at home, I'm sure they have Real World experiences. However, there will always be someone who has to tell you you are wrong in your approach. Partly, I think people do this because they want to feel that what they've chosen for their own family is BETTER. It gives them reassurance, thinking they are superior to someone. Sad. :iagree: When I've been presented with the "real world" argument, I have been known to point out how unreal it is that seniors in high school need hall passes and permission to use the restrooms a mere 3 months before they are dropped off into a college environment with all of its freedoms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I have come so close to blocking her, but shes my cousin and I love her to death. Its so hard because any little thing-- even a status as simple as School went great today- gets criticized by her. She says stuff like "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world" You know, that is EXACTLY what I meant- had nothing to do with our day of school, that was just a cover up :001_rolleyes: . Yes, that was an actual comment of hers to an actual status of mine a while back. You really should comment back when she does that. For that, you could have said something like 'I am absolutely flabbergasted that you would interpret this message as a personal attack. What a really mean thing to say.' If you love her and have a good relationship with her, you should be able to confront her and tell her how upsetting her comments are. If she doesn't care, then blocking her is perfectly acceptable, IMHO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I actually had this convo. on my FB page not to long ago. I was accused of not living in the real world and I asked just what world the poster thought I lived in? She had no answer.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Wow. :001_huh: I would really be done with someone who seriously said that. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I have come so close to blocking her, but shes my cousin and I love her to death. Its so hard because any little thing-- even a status as simple as School went great today- gets criticized by her. She says stuff like "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world" You know, that is EXACTLY what I meant- had nothing to do with our day of school, that was just a cover up :001_rolleyes: . Yes, that was an actual comment of hers to an actual status of mine a while back. Honestly, she sounds rather insecure. It's tough to be a parent, we are prone to second-guessing our choices. Are we doing the best for our kids? Have I made the right choice about xyz? What do other people think about me, do they think I'm doing enough for my own kids? It's enough to make one think ridiculous thoughts. Too bad she feels the need to share those publicly, disguised as critique of your choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I have come so close to blocking her, but shes my cousin and I love her to death. Its so hard because any little thing-- even a status as simple as School went great today- gets criticized by her. She says stuff like "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world" You know, that is EXACTLY what I meant- had nothing to do with our day of school, that was just a cover up :001_rolleyes: . Yes, that was an actual comment of hers to an actual status of mine a while back. I'd start addressing this as her problem, then. If someone feels judged by that (as she does), then in all likelihood they feel inadequate or guilty or that they should be doing what you are doing. Attacking you is the defense mechanism. Respond with something like: "If this bothers you so much, it seems that the problem is really yours and not mine at all and maybe you should spend some time trying to figure that out instead of knocking me for trying to parent and educate my children well." I will never be able to share stuff on fb. Occasional pictures for family, a good quote or scripture, but other than that, I just cannot share myself in that venue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 You really should comment back when she does that. For that, you could have said something like 'I am absolutely flabbergasted that you would interpret this message as a personal attack. What a really mean thing to say.' If you love her and have a good relationship with her, you should be able to confront her and tell her how upsetting her comments are. If she doesn't care, then blocking her is perfectly acceptable, IMHO. I do. It always ends up in "a 1 sided argument where people don't listen to what she is saying" (what she ended up saying today, again) I actually had this convo. on my FB page not to long ago. I was accused of not living in the real world and I asked just what world the poster thought I lived in? She had no answer.:tongue_smilie: Do you have my cousin as a FB friend? ;) I'd start addressing this as her problem, then. If someone feels judged by that (as she does), then in all likelihood they feel inadequate or guilty or that they should be doing what you are doing. Attacking you is the defense mechanism. Respond with something like: "If this bothers you so much, it seems that the problem is really yours and not mine at all and maybe you should spend some time trying to figure that out instead of knocking me for trying to parent and educate my children well." I will never be able to share stuff on fb. Occasional pictures for family, a good quote or scripture, but other than that, I just cannot share myself in that venue. I LOVE the bolded. Thank you :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I've never been able to figure out why people think an institutional, age-segregated, bell-ringing school environment is anything like the "real world" at all. It boggles my mind. Your cousin does sound insecure. Or possibly just snippy. :D I'm not on Facebook, and this is one of those times I'm very glad... I get enough snarky comments from family in person, thank you very much!! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug: That sucks that they keep doing that. I dare anyone to make the claim that me or my kids are not living in the real world, My kids have lived through more real world than any kid should have to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) I have come so close to blocking her, but shes my cousin and I love her to death. Its so hard because any little thing-- even a status as simple as School went great today- gets criticized by her. She says stuff like "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world" You know, that is EXACTLY what I meant- had nothing to do with our day of school, that was just a cover up :001_rolleyes: . Yes, that was an actual comment of hers to an actual status of mine a while back. ...It always ends up in "a 1 sided argument where people don't listen to what she is saying" (what she ended up saying today, again) If someone treated me like that, I wouldn't love her to death; I'd be planning her death. :glare: If she's posting comments like the one you posted as an example, she doesn't sound very nice. She is intentionally being hurtful, and I think you should tell her how you feel about it. If she gets defensive, tell her you would prefer that she refrain from posting comments on your page in the future. And if she posts anyway, block her sorry butt. Sorry to sound so mean, but she is behaving terribly and you shouldn't put up with it. Edited February 23, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 a first response might be to just delete her nasty comments off your wall. I once had a friend post something snarky on my wall. I was extremely hurt and it was unprovoked..kind of like what you described, I just mentioned something from our day and she snarked. I came close to unfriending her. I decided instead to just delete her comment, figured it's my wall and it made me unhappy. She came around and apologized on her own for the snark and we were back to normal, she was just having a bad day. maybe if you just delete her unkind comments, after a few times she will realize she is out of line. If it doesn't stop after a few deletes, I would then say something to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpeach Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 The insecure people around us will react to just about anything that makes them feel less than . . . you can't do anything about it. If you choose to share your life on FB, people will feel they can share their opinion about your life on FB, especially family members. IMHO, I would just keep the best of your family life to yourself. Enjoy the fruits of your labor in a secret way. There is just no getting around the fact that some people will feel obliged to comment. Human nature. Especially if they are jealous. I'm sorry. Warmly, Tricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I have come so close to blocking her, but shes my cousin and I love her to death. Its so hard because any little thing-- even a status as simple as School went great today- gets criticized by her. She says stuff like "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world" You know, that is EXACTLY what I meant- had nothing to do with our day of school, that was just a cover up :001_rolleyes: . Yes, that was an actual comment of hers to an actual status of mine a while back. You could learn Latin insults, or shakespearean insults. Then you could tell your were living in the real world, the ancient one or the Elizabethan one. :D Honestly, I'd probably give her a warning that her unkind remarks were not welcome. She is welcome to disagree with your parenting and schooling choices, but she is not welcome to clutter up your wall with such illogical comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Response: Yes it does :D "just because you homeschool doesn't make you any better than the rest of us who live in the real world" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I am quite fond of my alternate universe! :001_tt2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Response: Yes it does :D I was thinking "Only some of you." :D My ds said the same thing about the real world (not the homeschooling bit) and sheltering our dd. How I wish I could shelter her from the carp in the world, but he brought it to us. The real world? I want her to change the world, not live in it as it is. If that even makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Real world. I guess it's necessary to go back to defining terms. Facebook is NOT the "real world.". DELETE. Anyone who is bugging you or nasty....block them. Who has time for aggravation? Faithe.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 . Your cousin does sound insecure. Or possibly just snippy. :D I'm not on Facebook, and this is one of those times I'm very glad... I get enough snarky comments from family in person, thank you very much!! ;) :lol: :iagree: COMPLETELY! I get my fill of snippy comments IRL!!! I was SHOCKED how nice the real world was compared to high school. Yep, crappy things happen...but you have a lot more control over your destiny in the real world. You can reinvent yourself, and you can escape most crappy situations with some work and time. No one has ever thrown a spitball at me IRL. You learn real things. It's nothing like prison ;)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 The real world sucks anyway. My life sucks. So I must be doing it right. :D:tongue_smilie: Yeah, I am right there with you Wendy.....:tongue_smilie: Let's go somewhere in the alternate universe...where there is less suckage. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 or maybe I am just old-fashioned, but if this is your cousin, and you love her to death, I would pick up the phone and talk to her about this. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I've never been able to figure out why people think an institutional, age-segregated, bell-ringing school environment is anything like the "real world" at all. It boggles my mind. Yeah, where else in the real world aside from school does this happen? OP- I think you should ask your cousin just what world she does think you are living in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Well, you don't live in *their* real world. Of course, they don't live in yours either. And I tend to think that a b&m school is just as unreal as homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Facebook is NOT the "real world.". . or maybe I am just old-fashioned, but if this is your cousin, and you love her to death, I would pick up the phone and talk to her about this. :confused: Agreeing with both of these posters. The idea that some people seem to think that Facebook reflects "the real world" amuses me. Perhaps some people (like the OP's cousin) have more courage in the two dimensional Facebook world than in what I consider "reality"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 a first response might be to just delete her nasty comments off your wall. I once had a friend post something snarky on my wall. I was extremely hurt and it was unprovoked..kind of like what you described, I just mentioned something from our day and she snarked. I came close to unfriending her. I decided instead to just delete her comment, figured it's my wall and it made me unhappy. She came around and apologized on her own for the snark and we were back to normal, she was just having a bad day. maybe if you just delete her unkind comments, after a few times she will realize she is out of line. If it doesn't stop after a few deletes, I would then say something to her. :iagree: I believe you can also block her from writing on your wall without unfriending her. Ban her for a few days. You know, like what happens on here. You could even send an email explaining the infraction and saying she is banned for X amount of time. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :iagree: I believe you can also block her from writing on your wall without unfriending her. Ban her for a few days. You know, like what happens on here. You could even send an email explaining the infraction and saying she is banned for X amount of time. :lol: :lol: There you go! OP, I'm sorry your cousin is being rude. I'd talk to her about it. Maybe she thinks she is being funny. :confused: Humor doesn't always come through right in writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I do. It always ends up in "a 1 sided argument where people don't listen to what she is saying" (what she ended up saying today, again) If you're talking privately to her, like via message or email, copy what each of you wrote. Say THIS is what I wrote, and THIS is what you wrote. Please show me how I'm misunderstanding you. Otherwise, just delete every nasty message. I guess the problem would be bigger if she bashes you on her wall where you cannot control what she posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 If you want to be just as snarky you can always post a reply that says "Thank God my kids are being raised in the "real" world." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) Maybe you could tell them that in the "real world" people don't usually spend all day in a group of same age peers, so, in fact, your children are spending time in a more real worldish setting than ps kids. ?? Sorry. I know that wouldn't help and they probably wouldn't get it. Just sending you some :grouphug::grouphug:. Edited February 23, 2012 by woolybear sp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jec3113 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 In the fluffy world of homeschooling we CHOOSE our friends and we CHOOSE people who are kind and supportive. In FB land as an adult I CHOOSE the same. If someone is mean, nasty and unsupportive I use my delete button. I know it is hard when it is family, but you shouldn't have to tolerate nasty in the name of family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 or maybe I am just old-fashioned, but if this is your cousin, and you love her to death, I would pick up the phone and talk to her about this. :confused: :iagree: I have seen a few relationships in my family go rapidly downhill when stuff was only discussed through email or fb. It is so much easier to be hurtful when you don't have to see the other person. I think a phone call is in order. I bet she will feel remorseful when she hears you tell her how much her comments hurt you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Yeah, Um, the REAL world isn't closed off for 6 hours a day with like aged-kids, sitting at a desk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 In the "real world," we're supposed to be nice to the people we love (you know, like our cousins who love us,) not make nasty comments on their Facebook pages about how we're raising our kids the wrong way. :glare: Just saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I think I've kind of created my own world / life / environment. I can FUNCTION in the real world, and that's good enough for me. My children can make the choice, too. We like choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 You can just tell people "I have seen the real world and I don't want me or my children to live there!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 That really makes a difference. If you have several people making irritating comments on your FB wall in response to your statuses, you either have FB friends who don't use FB properly, or you may be putting up statuses that you don't realize are annoying. If your post simply says, "School went well today," then, anyone who gets offended or snippy has a problem. If a post says, "I'm so glad I can home school to get away from all the problems I see in public schools," well, then, I'd expect some negative comments. Sometimes people post innocently and don't realize they may be coming across as slightly proud. It's a hard balance. Your cousin sounds insecure, regardless. Personally, I'd ignore her comments and just try and look as objectively as possible as to my conduct on FB. Also, if it's just your cousin making comments, then your post isn't accurate. Your post says "people" and makes it sound like you have a small group that is being disrespectful to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.