Do you help the people holding cardboard signs at stop lights?

[joannqn]

A great read about this subject is Under the Overpass. Two college boys decide to leave school and become, literally, homeless for 5 months. They tell their story of being homeless in 5 different cities. Some of the stories are convicting. Others are shocking. They end the book with their recommendations of how Christians should respond in helping the homeless based on their experience...and giving money is not one of their suggestions.

Edited February 22, 2012 by joannqn

[LucyStoner]

No, and social service agencies ask us not to here. There are beds for those who are clean and sober, and there are places to get food. My son volunteers regularly at one of the soup kitchens.

 

Of course they do that- they want you to give them the money instead. Some of them do good work and help. Others perpetuate the problem and dehumanize the people they are "helping". Many charge their clients for the beds, causing the clients to need to panhandle when the organization is saying not to give to panhandlers. Still others are very dangerous and dirty places run by people with less than kind thoughts about homeless people who do not use most of the donations to run things well. There are several shelters in town for which I personally would vastly prefer to sleep outside than stay in. Beware- not all service organizations are well run or compassionate or focused on ending poverty and homelessness. You need to be careful when deciding which ones to support. I never give to organizations that can't seem to keep a clean establishment or who require faith service participation to get a bed or meal.

[SuperDad]

You've had lots of people say "No" already, but I'll be different and say that I do. I know the young guy at the corner is there often. I've seen his girlfriend drop him off more than once. They have a cute baby in a very old carseat, and he brings a sweet dog and stands on the corner all day long at least once a week. I give him money everytime I see him if I have money to give.

 

I give to the old guy that sits on the corner downtown playing his guitar and singing off-key. I always make sure I have some cash when I go downtown during the day just so I can give it to him.

 

I've given to the guy that hangs out in the shopping center that is really skinny and has piercing blue eyes and a kind smile.

 

I've let couch surfing teens crash on my couch and in my spare room.

 

I've also given to innumerable others . If I have water, I give that. I've given my lunch and my pizza. I've given away at least a dozen umbrellas to total strangers caught in the rain. This summer, I went to my truck while at a restaurant to get my spare towel and umbrella and gave it to a family with a baby caught in the rain. I give what I can when I see a need.

Echoing another poster: I want to be you when I grow up. Seriously.

 

I consider myself quite giving. My family does give out blessing bags - basic hygiene materials, a couple of granola bars, and a city map with the homeless shelters circled on it in big red marker. We do emphasize giving - so we give our snacks, umbrellas, etc. as Karen does (though not to the amazing extent that she seems to). I don't give money directly to beggars (though I do to charities and shelters) because I do not want to support an addiction or fraud ring. But it's not my place to judge who needs help more than others.

[KrissiK]

No. We give regularly to the Rescue Mission that really helps the homeless.

[elegantlion]

 

Ds17s decision for volunteering is 'giving his time, listening to people on the bus'. He rides the bus several times a day. His goal is to talk to someone each time he rides, and to seriously listen to them. He feels led to 'hear' people and to sincerely ask them questions. There was one day that he rode the bus an entire extra loop, just talking to someone. :D I think it is a nice thing for him to do. How many times do we all spend 'chatting' to various people, but not really listening to them? He comes home and then tells me their stories. He also volunteers at church in various ministries, but this particular one...it just his own contribution to life.

 

 

That is so awesome, your son rocks, seriously. How many times do people on here post just to vent, just to be heard? How utterly simply and beautiful.

 

I've been writing quotes in my planner each day. Today my quote is "Be moved by beauty". What your son does is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[Trilliums]

Another time I saw a man standing for hours in an area near the mall that had literally thousands of businesses, including several that had signs saying they were hiring. His time would have been better used filling out applications. I will only give directly to social service agencies and homeless shelters.

 

I can understand your frustration, but many (or at least some) homeless/street beggars suffer from mental illness and are unable to get or keep jobs.

[5kidsforME]

I can understand your frustration, but many (or at least some) homeless/street beggars suffer from mental illness and are unable to get or keep jobs.

 

 

This is very true. That is why I try to use discernment in each situation. I still think for the most part giving money right there on the street, in the long run hinders rather than helps.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm a Christian and I do not give money. I've spent years working with the homeless and low-income residents. I've been assaulted, abused and spat on. I've known prostitutes and their pimps. I've known winos and drug addicts and the mentally ill. I've known elderly who were vulnerable and were taken advantage of by family as well as strangers.

 

I've talked to more of these men and women than you can count and many have freely admitted to me that they are using people with these signs. Most service organizations ask you not to give these people money, not because they are greedy for your money themselves but because many will go right out and buy Wild Turkey and drugs. Does that mean that every single person out there does this? Probably not but the percentages of those who do are much higher than those who do not.

 

I hire workers from service organizations like the Millionair Club (that's not a typo but how they spell it!) which is a charity that provides jobs to people who need it. I've given food, blankets, clothing and toiletries to the Union Gospel Mission which provides the items to the people who need them. I've been a relief manager for a domestic violence shelter. I prefer to support charities and programs that help people to help themselves.

[5kidsforME]

I'm a Christian and I do not give money. I've spent years working with the homeless and low-income residents. I've been assaulted, abused and spat on. I've known prostitutes and their pimps. I've known winos and drug addicts and the mentally ill. I've known elderly who were vulnerable and were taken advantage of by family as well as strangers.

 

I've talked to more of these men and women than you can count and many have freely admitted to me that they are using people with these signs. Most service organizations ask you not to give these people money, not because they are greedy for your money themselves but because many will go right out and buy Wild Turkey and drugs. Does that mean that every single person out there does this? Probably not but the percentages of those who do are much higher than those who do not.

 

I hire workers from service organizations like the Millionair Club (that's not a typo but how they spell it!) which is a charity that provides jobs to people who need it. I've given food, blankets, clothing and toiletries to the Union Gospel Mission which provides the items to the people who need them. I've been a relief manager for a domestic violence shelter. I prefer to support charities and programs that help people to help themselves.

 

I'm sorry that you even have to explain yourself.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm sorry that you even have to explain yourself.

 

Oh that's ok. I probably didn't! I just wanted to point out that the old "teach a man to fish" proverb can apply to situations like this. If people want to give money, that's fine but it isn't the only benchmark for compassion or even true helpfulness. For that matter, not everyone is going to find themselves in a position to help this population of people. I never thought that I would! I know that many compassionate and generous people choose instead to help new immigrants or the disabled or the sick etc.

[oldskool]

I try to give when I can. I figure that no matter how they got there, or how much or little they are taking in, that it can't be a fabulous life. I try not to judge how they use the money either, as I suppose that is up to them at the end of the day. I also think they are the child of somebody and I would hope that if mine were in that situation, that somebody would have mercy. Life is not easy and sometimes we just end up in situations that weren't planned.

[Irene Lynn]

We just attended our last of six 2hour long lessons on poverty last night. This was one of the topics covered. The classes were taught by a fellow who has worked with the very poor and started many programs for them. These programs are designed to have an aspect of relief assistance for those caught in immediate need, but more commonly to provide what he called rehabilitation. This was to combine caring relationships that always acknowledge the dignity of those who may need some help and point to helping the person get their legs under them according to their desire, not the desire of the person doing the helping. Then there was a third aspect to the ministries that were offered and they focused on development. They offered classes or work environments that taught skills.

 

He encouraged us not to give money or food at the corners, but to offer to take people to a restaurant for the food. He said that very few people take him up on that offer, but those who do, he has to be willing to set aside time in his day to sit and talk and care about the other person. He doesn't want to contribute to keeping people dependent on others, but he does encourage helping those in need and doing it in such a way that encourages dignity.

 

And more than anything use wisdom to discern what to do in each situation. There is no hard and fast rule. Sometimes someone really does need relief assistance, then by all means, help as you are able. But many of the street corner people are regulars around here. This is not relief help most of the time.

[mom2scouts]

I can understand your frustration, but many (or at least some) homeless/street beggars suffer from mental illness and are unable to get or keep jobs.

 

I understand that. My grandfather was one of them. He left the family when my mom was very young. After he died, we were contacted by an attorney and found out that he had been homeless for years, living in his car, doing odd jobs, and begging on the streets. He suffered from severe depression and self medicated with alcohol (family history of depression and alcoholism) and he died in his car. He also had thousands of dollars from begging in his car and my mom got an inheritance. I still believe it is better to give to agencies that can help than giving directly to beggars. My grandfather may have had a very different and better life (and death) if he had found the proper help.

[VeteranMom]

No, I never give to anyone holding a cardboard sign. I believe most people who do that are scammers. I give to food banks, though.

[mom26]

I keep "blessing bags" in my van for this purpose. :) it's just a gallon sized ziplock with crackers, water, snacks, tissue, gloves if it's cold, etc.

 

That's exactly what we do...if it's thrown away, at least we are modeling compassion to our dc..actually, our dd who was adopted internationally asked us to do this and it brings some measure of comfort to her to know we are doing something to help -She remembers what it is like to be hungry :(...

[Julie Smith]

I can understand your frustration, but many (or at least some) homeless/street beggars suffer from mental illness and are unable to get or keep jobs.

 

That is my uncle. He has family, and a place to stay IF he will accept the term that he has to get help for his mental illness. He has been fine before when taking his medication. But he wouldn't seek him since it is easier for him to beg then seek help.

 

The most helpful think anyone could do for him is stop giving him money.

[Jean in Newcastle]

That is my uncle. He has family, and a place to stay IF he will accept the term that he has to get help for his mental illness. He has been fine before when taking his medication. But he wouldn't seek him since it is easier for him to beg then seek help.

 

The most helpful think anyone could do for him is stop giving him money.

 

Yes. It's called enabling.

[Happy2BaMom]

No, and social service agencies ask us not to here. There are beds for those who are clean and sober, and there are places to get food. My son volunteers regularly at one of the soup kitchens.

 

This is what our agencies say as well. They say the money almost always goes for drugs and/or alcohol and, since they ought to know, I listen. I do like the idea of having sandwiches in a baggie), but I give money or supplies to the shelters now, instead of to the person on the corner. There are many ways to help.

[Coffeetime]

That's exactly what we do...if it's thrown away, at least we are modeling compassion to our dc..actually, our dd who was adopted internationally asked us to do this and it brings some measure of comfort to her to know we are doing something to help -She remembers what it is like to be hungry :(...

 

I try to make it a point to give a little money or food for this very reason. I want to teach my children compassion, and that these are people to be loved. So if my few dollars are spent on alcohol, or my food is thrown away at least I've modeled loving the least of these to my kids. It's actually sparked some very deep conversations with them. :)

[Mimm]

I've given money to people who approach and ask. They usually have some elaborate story worked out about why they need it, usually involving being stranded and needing a car repair or gas to get to something important, usually involving a sick relative or something of that nature. I have no idea if these stories are true, but it doesn't really matter. I figure if you are approaching strangers on the street and asking for money, you have more problems in your life than I do. I can't imagine how embarrassed I would feel or how desperate I would need to be if I were doing something like that. And sure, maybe I've paid for someone's drugs in the past. I'm not delusional. But I've always felt that generosity is morally good. What people do with your generosity is on them.

[learningmama]

I keep "blessing bags" in my van for this purpose. :) it's just a gallon sized ziplock with crackers, water, snacks, tissue, gloves if it's cold, etc.

 

 

I like this idea!

[mama25angels]

I do

[HLDoll]

I keep "blessing bags" in my van for this purpose. :) it's just a gallon sized ziplock with crackers, water, snacks, tissue, gloves if it's cold, etc.

 

My kids' co-op just made a few of these bags. We haven't had an opportunity to give them away yet. I'm interested to see what the response will be.

[Impish]

I don't go downtown, so I rarely see any homeless...they don't seem to be around my neighbourhood.

 

That being said, when I have been in the situation of being asked, I don't give money, but if I have enough (and honestly, there have been times when it's Monday, pay day isn't til Friday, I've got less than $20 total to our name, and not enough bread, milk, etc to get through) I'll offer to buy them something to eat, or drink.

 

Rightly or wrongly, I refuse to give cash. I don't want to help someone kill themselves, and when it comes to serious addiction issues, that's what it would be, imo.

 

Wolf was once approached and asked to buy Sudafed, I think it was...some med that's used in producing crystal meth. He refused, and the person kept trying to shove money in his hand, telling him to just go the pharmacy, here's the money :001_huh:

[ma23peas]

I'm not sure what I should do. I want to help, .

 

Most bizarre story, but have to share...I was in Atlanta and heading to a luncheon with some physicians (I was bringing the lunch so had many honey baked ham sandwich boxes in my car)..I pulled over and gave the lady with a cardboard sign a box of food, explaining I never carry cash..

Two weeks later, I was visiting my parents in Memphis and how shocked was I to see the SAME lady on a corner there!! I had to stop and say Hi...she said she had flown in the day before to visit her sister..hmm..I had to drive the 7 hours, but she flew??? It was so bizarre!! After that, I vowed never to give money, but will always give food, keep snacks/water bottles in the car for the family on the go, if we see one, we just give them a snack.

[Hannah C.]

We don't go downtown very often, but when we do we don't give money or food to people on street corners. It's rare that traffic allows us to have the opportunity when we do see people.

 

My dh has been approached at gas stations by people asking for gas - he gave them a couple of gallons and paid for it himself. No money exchanged hands.

[Lisbeth]

First off, I would never invite the homeless into my house in any way. Elizabeth Smart's parents through misguided kindness hired the homeless and Elizabeth paid the price. The safety of my children are PRIORITY ONE.

I also won't give money or etc to anyone. There are tons of agencies in place for the homeless to go to, already paid for out of my tax dollars. Whatever you "feed" metaphorically, will grow. Rewarding standing on the street instead of seeking established help, imo, increases that behavior. It is more likely a scam, or to feed a drug or alcohol problem.

Nope!

[Guest]

I hope I didn't offend anyone earlier. I completely understand that a lot of you give to other charities and organizations, and that is great. I also understand that most people cannot afford to give to every single homeless person they see.

[Joanne]

First off, I would never invite the homeless into my house in any way. Elizabeth Smart's parents through misguided kindness hired the homeless and Elizabeth paid the price. The safety of my children are PRIORITY ONE.

I also won't give money or etc to anyone. There are tons of agencies in place for the homeless to go to, already paid for out of my tax dollars. Whatever you "feed" metaphorically, will grow. Rewarding standing on the street instead of seeking established help, imo, increases that behavior. It is more likely a scam, or to feed a drug or alcohol problem.

Nope!

 

We've not only hired a homeless person, but he's showered, done laundry and slept at our house. (The home stuff never happened when the kids were there. But the work did; we all worked at the Fireworks stand).

 

I think the second paragraph is, at least in some areas, a bit inaccurate. Current "established help" isn't always available, easy, or help. And I will never again assume drug or alcohol problem.

 

We are personally only a few steps away from homeless.

 

I don't give money to every person (I live in a suburb of Houston, and travel to Houston for one of my jobs). I don't expect others to give. But the assumptions are not true often enough to be of importance.

[BoZeeCo's Mom]

No, never. Here in Portland they are EVERYWHERE. I used to work with these people and I would strongly advise that if you feel you have to give something, donate it to a reputable shelter or food bank.

[flyingiguana]

No, because the ambulance drivers in our city would prefer we didn't. Many of the folks who have established "corners" where they collect handouts generally have to have an ambulance ride later on that evening due to drinking too much.

 

I figure it saves the city and hospitals money if I don't contribute to that.

 

If someone was short on bus fare, I might consider it. That's a different situation, particularly if they're standing by the bus looking upset. But folks asking for gas money around here tend to be scam artists.

[stripe]

We've not only hired a homeless person, but he's showered, done laundry and slept at our house. (The home stuff never happened when the kids were there. But the work did; we all worked at the Fireworks stand).

 

I also have an acquaintance who was at various times homeless but not a beggar. Happily, he is now in an apartment. He is mentally stable. Life can be really rough.

 

On the other hand, there are registered sex offenders on my street.

[Tap]

No' date=' never. Here in Portland they are EVERYWHERE. I used to work with these people and I would strongly advise that if you feel you have to give something, donate it to a reputable shelter or food bank.[/quote']

 

I am in Portland all the time, and it is dumbfounding how many times I get asked for money in the city. Seriously, it wouldn't surprise me to be asked 10 times in a few hours. It is interesting to me that at least 3 of us who say 'no' are from this immediate area.

 

It seems like it is just no big deal for people to beg here.

[EmilyK]

I am in Portland all the time, and it is dumbfounding how many times I get asked for money in the city. Seriously, it wouldn't surprise me to be asked 10 times in a few hours. It is interesting to me that at least 3 of us who say 'no' are from this immediate area.

 

It seems like it is just no big deal for people to beg here.

 

Ditto -- I wondered if my strong feelings about it come from working in downtown Portland for decades. Portlandia says we're the city where young peopel go to retire, but maybe we have other specialities as well. :tongue_smilie: I was amazed to read that some people on this board never get asked. I run a gantlet anytime I leave my building.

[kewb]

No, I never give money. I will give food or beverage. Back in the day I would give a subway token if they needed to get somewhere.

[creekland]

No, the vast majority are scam artists and do this for a living. I don't feel the need to support them with their lifestyle.

 

We have recommended places people can get help if they truly want it (food, actual assistance). To date, none have taken us up on it. Instead they just focus on the next person.

 

We have been known to help others who are truly in need, but try to do so in ways that they can't connect the assistance to us.

[russiantwins]

I agree. I will sometimes keep packs of peanut butter crackers and such in the car to pass out, but they almost always refuse, just wanting cash.